I decided to skip classes today, just because I wanted some time with Kyungsoo and classes were going to get in the way of that. We ended up at his parents' house, his mom being the only one home, since his dad was the co-owner and head chef of a restaurant.

I've never talked about Kyungsoo's family, have I? Well, his mom's name is Jaemin, who is super sweet, but I guess you could say she's sarcastic and has an evil side to her. Like mother, like Kyungsoo, amazingly. His father, whose name was Sungho, had a kind heart, but an amazingly loud mouth. Which was fine, he was fun to be around and being in the profession he is and all. His brother, Hyunsoo, was playful, but kind in his own ways. He was about twenty seven and still in medical school for psychology. He had quite the family, if I may add.

We were up in his room, watching an American movie, The Pursuit of Happyness. He sat between my legs, back and head pressed against my chest. He was wearing his glasses, which I'd never seen him in, no matter how long we've been together(almost two years). Before the movie started, I asked him why I've never seen him in them.

His reply was; "I don't like how I look in them, I didn't think you would either." His reply was slightly sad, and his face was pinkish in his cheeks. That lead to me hugging him tightly and telling him he was beautiful, no matter what he wore or what he looked like. Which then lead us to here, holding onto each other like our lives depend on it.

The movie ended, and he shut his laptop, then leaned against me. He looked up at me through his glasses, smiling his heart-shaped smile. "You hungry at all?"

I laughed a little, my nose scrunching up a bit. "I am."

He removed himself from between my legs, and jumped off the bed. He held a hand out to me. "Come on then, I'll make you something."

|•~•||•~•||•~•|

After eating, and realizing it was past six when we came out of his room, we decided to go on a walk. The air was cool and damp, and it felt good compared to the sticky, humid air we'd been having recently. Our fingers were in between each other's, hands swaying back and forth lightly. Everything just felt right. I hadn't had any nightmares or nights of crying in a while, about two weeks that Kyungsoo's been home. I could smile freely and for real again. All because I needed him beside me, not thousands of miles apart from him. I needed him to hug me and cry with me, telling me everything was okay.

The only thing I questioned at this point was if he was staying permanently. I feared that his answer would be no. So I never asked. But he never said anything about staying temporarily or permanently. The fact that he wasn't saying anything scared me more.

As we were walking, his phone went off. He slipped it out of his pocket. I saw a Skype call request.

Mia Woods, it said in English. He smiled and pressed the answer button.

An American girl's face appeared on the screen. She had long, red hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. She was frail, but very pretty.

"Hi, Kyungsoo!" She exclaimed. I could understand English and read it, but I couldn't speak it very well. My pronunciation was horrible, if I'm completely honest.

He held his phone out. "I was starting to worry you wouldn't call." He said jokingly.

I could only stare. Who is she?

"Yeah well, I only get so much time on the computer here. Sorry." She noticed me, and smiled a pretty smile. "Is that your boyfriend you're with?"

Kyungsoo looked up at me, giving an apologetic smile. "Yup. This is Jongin." He gestured to me. "Jongin, this is my friend, Mia." I nodded a silent hello, blush tinging my cheeks. She was definitely pretty, and very young for being Kyungsoo's friend.

"Don't worry about me, Jongin. I won't steal him from you, he loves you too much." Mia said playfully.

My blush deepened. I avoided contact with Mia and Kyungsoo, and kept my eyes on the ground.

Mia and Kyungsoo both laughed. "He's so cute~."

"And he's mine, you can't have him, Miss Mia."

She whined. "Aw, I wanted him all to myself though..." Then she smiled again. "I'm kidding of course. I'm a lesbian and all..."

My eyes widened. I looked at Kyungsoo, who nodded, saying it was true.

"Has that cancer patient talked you yet? What was her name...Dylan?"

Mia nodded. "Yeah, it's Dylan...she's never spoken to me. I can only stare at her from afar." Her voice was becoming sad. I frowned, feeling bad for her. I guess you could say I understood her a little. Before I started dating Kyungsoo, he was my tutor and my sister's girlfriend. I could only watch him, and want him. Look where we are now.

"She better notice you, you're an amazing girl, you know. Or try approaching her first? I know that's hard but it doesn't hurt to try."

"Maybe..." She stopped, then took a deep breath. "When are you coming back?"

We stopped walking. I looked down at Kyungsoo, seeing remorse in his eyes. He tried to smile it off. "Three months."

Tears stung my eyes. I began walking away, heading back towards the apartment I shared with Sehun. I heard Kyungsoo mutter a couple curse words, then his footsteps come closer to me. He grabbed me by the arm, forcing me to turn around. "Jongin, I–"

"Why didn't you tell me?" My voice was shaky and filled with anger. He didn't say anything. He stood there, staring at me with remorseful, tear filled eyes. It only made more rage boil up inside me.

This is what I feared. He's going to leave me again. He's going to go back, and not think anything of it. He's going to live out his dream and forget me. I'll just be some guy that happened to have some kind of relationship with him. And I'll be here, left to remember how much I loved him, how much I cried, screamed for him, because I loved him that much. Then he'll be gone.

"Why?!" I yelled, tears finally streaming down my face.

"I wanted to tell you, Jongin. I really did." Now his voice was even trembling, a tear leaving his eye. "I didn't know how. I didn't know how I was able to tell you that I'd have to leave you again. God, because I don't want to leave you."

"Then why?"

"Why, what?"

I wiped tears off my face, removing his hand from my arm. I turned to face him. "Why are you going back then, if you don't want to leave me?"

He swallowed again, drying his cheeks. "Because what I've been doing for almost a year, that's what I've dreamed of since I was a kid. What I'm doing now is so important for me, Jongin."

"And I'm not?"

He tightened his lips. "How the hell could you say that?"

"I don't know, Kyungsoo. Maybe because that's pretty much what you're saying. This dream of yours means more to you than I do." What the am I saying?

"You mean just as much to me. Can't you see that? I came back for you, because I missed you so goddamn much! I can't just abandon my dream on a whim here!" His voice was hard, angry even.

I looked down at the ground again, fighting back tears. "Why not here? Why can't you live out your dream here, with me, our friends, and your family?"

He didn't answer that. My chest started to hurt. It hurt like hell, like I was going to burst because of all the anger and sadness I was holding. It was quiet, a very tense silence. We rarely ever fought, and if we did, it was usually something really stupid. But this...this wasn't stupid.

I sighed, swallowing tears and the lump in my throat. "Do you understand how much pain I was in, while you were gone?"

"Nini–"

"Don't 'Nini' me. I'm asking you a question." He closed his mouth. "Christ, I was in so much pain, Soo. I thought about killing myself again because of that pain! You weren't there to tell me that everything would be fine, or that I had a reason to live. Don't you get it? You're my reason to live. You. But you weren't here. I had no purpose."

"Yah, Kim Jongin–"

I intercepted again, "It was hard to say goodbye to you. Soo, I tried so ing hard to completely support you, and tried so ing hard to remember you still loved me and that we would meet again."

He fell silent once more. Tears welled up in his big, brown eyes. He pressed his lips in a tight line. "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry isn't gonna fix anything. You need to choose." What the hell are you thinking, Jongin? Make him choose?

"Jongin–"

"No. It's either me or your dream."

His expression was filled with shock. Then his eyes flamed with anger again. He dried his eyes, then said with his voice raspy and hard. "I can't be with someone that can't support me, nor can I be with someone making me choose between them and what I love."

My heart sank deep into the pits of my stomach. Immediately, I regretted making him choose. Why? Why did I have to say that? Why couldn't I just be supportive again?

"Goodbye, Jongin."

And he turned around, walking in the direction towards his parents' home.

What the hell have I done?

a/n

SURPRISE MOTHERER! XD I'm sorry did I break yo' feels?