“I guess it really is a goodbye.” Hakyeon told the other four the moment they stepped outside the gates of the mental hospital. Wonshik was nowhere to be found as he was told to stay in his room because the nurses feared that he would actually try to escape. It was his dream to stay, why would he escape? The nurses’ imagination is just as big as Jaehwan’s.

“We won’t be able to see each other again. It had been a fun journey, a fun ride.” Jaehwan spoke in a voice of an old man. “But our memories will forever stay in ourr hearts. Those memories will reside there until we decide to take them out and share it to others. Until then, we have to live like such normal citizens of this country. We would save South Korea with all the knowledge and skills that we aquired by staying in this mental institution. As I told you before, we should not stick to the manual like some noobs. Instead, let’s create our own way and be the reason why manuals exist.”

“Oh, goodness, not this again.” Hongbin groaned, massaging his own head. It was his last day in that place already but Jaehwan was still causing him to be stressed. The older guy should really take responsibility for the wrinkles that he caused Hongbin. “Jaehwan hyung, it’s already the last time we’re seeing each other so spare us the useless monologue and just go on your own way. You’re stressing me out with that statement.” He unleashed his sassiness, rolling his eyes.

“What do you mean that it’s the last time?” Hakyeon asked, his eyes were teary as if he had not expected it, as if he was expecting that they would still choose to meet him—they would never. When the others did not react, with the exception of Jaehwan who had almost the same expresssion, Hakyeon turned to Taekwoon. “Woonie, do something about it. What does Hongbin mean? I don’t want that to happen. Can’t we stop them from separating us? I don’t want to separate with you. I already lost Leo, I cannot lose you too.” Hakyeon told Taekwoon who stared at him as if he had grown an elephant’s trunk on his forehead.

“This is so sad, I can’t bare to watch.” Jaehwan sobbed, covering his eyes with his palms.

Sanghyuk, Hongbin, and Taekwoon sighed. They were having a mixed feeling about leaving the mental institution. Of course, it was bittersweet to leave especially with all the laughter, anger, annoyance, irritation, and pain they had experienced together—though more than positive things, there were more negative things that happened. Those are memories that should be treasured until they die. At the same time, it was nice to leave. Hakyeon and Jaehwan’s stupidity would no longer cause them stress and wrinkles—the latter was more about Hongbin though.

“Can’t we just leave now like some normal people would do?” As soon as that came out of his mouth, Sanghyuk realized that he knew the answer all too well. They couldn’t just leave. They were not normal to begin with. That was the regrettable part—them being not normal. To be honest, it would have had been better if he met the others at school, not in some mental institution. Maybe then, he could reconsider their friendship.

“I know! We can exchange phone numbers!” Jaehwan exclaimed, totally ignoring Sanghyuk’s voiced out question. He sounded and looked so confident as he spoke. Who could blame him? It’s not every day that he could come up with such good ideas—he definitely needed to be applauded.

Hakyeon clapped his hands, looking so proud of Jaehwan. “That’s a great idea! Then, we can contact each other even though we’re apart, right, Taekwoon?” He asked Taekwoon, clinging onto the poor guy.

“No.” Taekwoon coldly replied. He suddenly felt the urge to strangle Jaehwan but he stopped himself upon remembering one fact—he lost his phone when he flipped the tables for his precious latte. That time, he thought that he was unlucky but thinking about it, he was actually very fortunate—he just had not realized it when the incident occured. “I don’t have a phone. I lost it before coming to this dreadful place.” He informed Hakyeon.

“Great!” Hakyeon exclaimed, smiling widely. “Because I also lost my phone. I threw it before coming here.” He proudly said.

“You guys are not alone because I also have no phone! I find it useless so I left it somewhere in the park.” Jaehwan giggled as he boasted about losing his phone.

Hongbin and Sanghyuk, the savage duo, just stared at the dumb and dumber duo. They were already in too deep, they could not be saved from their stupidity any longer. Deciding to just ignore them because there was nothing to be done, Sanghyuk turned to Hongbin. “Hyung, I actually lost my phone before coming here as well.” Thee former said. “How can I contact you?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he thought about the possible ways to contact his favorite older brother.

Hongbin frowned. “I also lost my phone. Should we just write to each other? It’s a bit old fashion but I guess it’s fine. Or do you have any social media account? Because I don’t…” He told Sanghyuk.

“Same here.” Sanghyuk sighed. “I guess we really have to say goodbye to each other now then.” He spoke but his voice came out as a whisper. His eyes were teary despite not wanting to cry. He would be separated from his older brother who shared the savage moments, evil moments, and even the moments of annoyance with him. He would be continuing on his life without the older brother who supported him in every evil deed that he had done inside the mental institution.

“Don’t cry.” Hongbin told Sanghyuk even though his tears were also almost falling. He reached for the younger boy and embraced him. “This won’t be the last time, I promise. I will find you and meet you again. You will always be my favorite younger brother, don’t forget that.” Then, they both cried.

While the two were having their moment their, Jaehwan was also having his own—with Hakyeon as the supporting character. “I have to leave Wonshik behind so that we can both find our dreams. I’ll be back on the stage while he would stay here in his dream. I belong on stage while he belong here, in this hospital.” He dramatically said his monologue.

“You both belong in this hospital.” Taekwoon commented but was ignored by Jaehwan.

“Because I’m a theatre actor, because he is not interested in waking up, we cannot be together for so long. Now, I am letting him go to let him do the things that he wants to. I don’t want to be the barricade that keeps him away from his dreams. I don’t want to be that person, Hakyeon hyung.” Jaehwan cried to Hakyeon. “That’s why I am leaving him. I am leaving for him. But as I go, I’ll leave my heart with him.”

“It’s okay, Jaehwan. We all make sacrifices. This time, you’re sacrificing yourself for your dreams and his. Someday, I am sure that you will both come back to each other’s arms.” Hakyeon, also teary-eyed, assured Jaehwan, even patting the latter’s back to give him comfort.

To say that Taekwoon was annoyed was an understatement. If it was just Hakyeon and Jaehwan’s dramatic show, Taekwoon would not be so annoyed. Seeing even the supposedly normal ones—yes, Hongbin and Sanghyuk were supposed to be normal in Taekwoon’s eyes—having a dramatic scene by themselves made Taekwoon question if the doctors really did think about letting the four guys leave. Don’t get Taekwoon wrong, he did not mean any harm. He was only concerned about the well-being of the other people around the four guys and about the reputation of the hospital. “Their problem, not mine.” He rolled his eyes. When it seemed like the other guys would take forever to acknowledge his presence, Taekwoon finally made up his mind to just leave them all behind. He took his trolley bag with him and walked away without even glancing back.

It had not even been a day and Wonshik was already wondering about the whereabouts of the other five. As dramatic as it may sound, it seemed as though they had taken a part of him with them as they departed. It wasn’t really Wonshik’s nature to be dramatic but try staying with Jaehwan and Hakyeon and see what that could do to you. “I cannot even sleep.” Wonshik groaned, rolling over but not sitting up because that would just hurt him. He was inside their hangout, yes. It was a place full of memories and Wonshik, even though he hated it at first, grew to love it.

It was funny how the nurses had stopped him from sending the others off because they thought that Wonshik would try to escape—he wouldn’t, really. But the thing was, he was glad that he did not send them off. It might be ridiculous but he knew that he would tear up seeing the other five leave. Despite them being the ones who keep Wonshik away from his dream of sleeping for a long time, despite Hakyeon annoying the hell out of everyone, despite Sanghyuk’s evilness, despite Taekwoon’s temper, despite Hongbin’s confidence, despite Jaehwan’s stupidity, Wonshik knew that he would miss them despite all those negative things.

Wonshik could not help but to wonder how the others were coping up with their normal lifestyles that they probably had forgotten already. He let out a low chuckle—it was not a very happy one. Of course, he was happy that he would have more time to sleep. He was happy that he would be able to pamper his desire to stay lazy for a long, long time. Even though he was happy, he felt like a part of him was taken away. Sure, they left. But the moment they left, they decided to take Wonshik’s heart with them—not literally, of course, because that’s so gross, as gross as the nightmare-inducing gore movie that Sanghyuk forced him to watch. Wonshik grimaced at the thought. He wouldn’t want to see himself without a heart.

Hongbin was so happy when he walked on the familiar streets of the shopping district, Myeongdong. He missed shopping expecially shopping for skin care products. He could be the handsome Lee Hongbin once again—he did not actually lose his title but his eyebags must have had been so obvious. That was what a mental institution could do to a person. If only he could warn other people, he would but then, he had no time for that. He had to buy his beauty products. There was even a sale as if the stores were waiting for his return. Because of that, he should start buying clothes and things like those as well! He had to look his best when he visit his former boss and co-workers to show that they were not able to bring him down. He paused for a moment, realizing that he had picked up Sanghyuk evilness. But, oh well, he was stuck with the evil genius for weeks, how could he not?

Though he started having flashbacks about the fun times that they had in the mental hospital, the thought about going back there made him shiver. And so, he came up with a plan. “I’m going to be more handsome and I’ll take care of my handsome face really well. But I should not talk to mirrors in public and I should not admire myself.” He told no one in particular, nodding in agreement to himself. “Though I think that it would be hard because of my handsomeness…”

Then, he shook his head. “No, no, if I want to have a normal life, I should avoid mirrors at all cost.” He firmly stated. With that, he continued to walk towards his favorite shop for skin care products. The door was opened widely as if waiting for him to enter and so, he did. When his eyes travelled to one corner, he saw a handsome man. He was smiling beautifully and his eyes were glimmering. Hongbin would have had talked to him to compliment him and perhaps, ask for his name when he realized something. He was actually looking at the mirror and the handsome man was himself.

“Good gracious, if this person is not me, I would have had asked him to marry me. He’s beautiful.” He declared but immediately cleared his throat and turned his head to the other direction, afraid that someone might hear him and send him back to the mental institution. Now, now, he did not want to return to a place where he desperately tried to escape from. He could do it.

Breathe in, breathe out. He turned his attention to the skin care products after taking a deep breath. “Lee Hongbin, you can do this. Avoid the mirrors at all cost and avoid admiring your beautiful precious existence until you get home. You can do this.” He cheered himself. No way. There was no way that he would go back to the mental institution again just because of admiring something beautiful. Lee Hongbin’s existence was just too perfect to fit that place.

Lee Jaehwan walked towards the building of the theatre he frequently performed at. Despite him being a disturbance and despite him being a mental hospital patient, his picture was still displayed outside as an attraction—he was that famous. Even though the musical he starred at was over even before he was sent to the mental hospital, but it was still his photo that drawn attraction (beat that, Lee Hongbin!). Happily, Jaehwan entered the building and screamed since he was aware that during that time, only the employees were there—not that he even cared if someone was there to witness or not. “Lee Jaehwanie is back!” He announced out loud in a very cheerful voice. “Who missed me?! Arf!” He asked, doing his infamous imitation of the dogs in their neighborhood.

“Dang, Lee Jaehwan is back.” Someone grumbled. He was certainly aware that Jaehwan coming back was like welcoming a fiasco inside the theatre—which was fine but at the same time, not-so-fine, because he was just distracting.

“I thought you’re confined?” A co-worker of Jaehwan asked, approaching him. “And they said that you will not be out for a few more months.”

“Eii… noona, aren’t you happy to see me? I know you guys missed me.” Jaehwan spoke in a voice of a kid. His co-worker was about to open to say something but Jaehwan’s attention was already on something else. Not too far away, Jaehwan could clearly see a familiar lizard on a wall. “Ravi! Arf!” He barked, dashing over to the innocent lizard. “Did you miss me, Ravi? It’s been a while but you haven’t changed at all.” He told Ravi. “Do you still visit your friend, Leo? Come to think of it, our Leo reminds me of Hakyeon hyung’s Leo. It seems as if they have the same name but they don’t, right? Their names do not even sound like each other’s. Also, our Leo also reminds me of Taekwoon hyung. They are both chic. Whatever they do, they are chic. While you, Ravi,” Jaehwan paused to take an exaggerated deep breath. “You remind me of Wonshik so much. Looking at you closely, I can say that you two look like each other. Are you two relatives of some sort?” He babbled.

If the poor lizard could speak, he would probably yell for someone to help him. If the lizard could glare, he would probably spend the remaining days of his life glaring at Jaehwan for ruining the peacefulness of his life.

Hakyeon pushed the door open then he entered his condominium unit. He the lights because he was scared—what if a ghost suddenly appear in front of him? He’d run out of the window if that were to happen. He looked around and saw nothing but his expensive furnitures. It was quiet and it was empty. It was still the same except for the fact that Leo was not there. He wanted to believe that it was a lie because their story could not end just like that.

Without his permission, tears fell out of his eyes again. And so, the always happy Cha Hakyeon started weeping as he collapsed on the floor—because it was more dramatic that way. Anyway, he could still not believe that Leo left his side just like that. Though Hakyeon might try to keep himself busy just to get the cockroach off of his mind, in the end, all Hakyeon could think of was that charismatic cockroach. Hakyeon knew that Leo was gone, he already tried calling for him hundred of times before.

Because it was so saddening, Hakyeon just couldn’t erase Leo in his heart that was full of longing. He just had to forget but how come it was just too much for him to bear? He was a coward but he wanted to endure so much. Memories must have been Hakyeon’s biggest enemies. They weren’t ending as if they were in an endless loop even though everything was already in the past. Leo was a cockroach but more than anyone else, he was the one who stayed with Hakyeon through it all.

Hakyeon turned his head to his right for no reason but that was when his eyes met those familiar cold eyes of a cockroach. “Leo…” He called out softly, tears were starting to form in his eyes. It couldn’t be happening, right? “You’re alive?” He asked, his voice was barely heard. If it was a dream, he wouldn’t want to wake up ever again. If it was a lie, he was happy to be a fool (he really was one) who believes it.

Leo’s eyes softened a bit, it was not obvious but Hakyeon could tell for he knew Leo so much. Hakyeon could not help but to cry even more. Something went terribly wrong. Their hearts still remembered each other and their unfinished story but they both knew that it was not the same thing as before. Hakyeon still liked Leo so much but not as much as how he treasured the guys that he met in the mental institution—particularly Jung Taekwoon. Hakyeon was aware that Leo could feel this too. That cockroach knew of what was happening.

Both of them had changed. They were clear but became blurry. Their story had ended, only the two of them were not aware. Just like how they became close for no reason, separation also came without a warning as if it was a natural thing. No one had faults. Nothing was there to be fixed. This farewell was prepared for them since the beginning.

With one lance glance, Leo turned around—to leave for good, to leave so that he could start living his normal cockroach life. Hakyeon understood that Leo was setting him free. Another drop of tear escaped from Hakyeon’s eyes. “Leo!” He called out so the cockroach paused for a moment. “Please be happy even without me.”

Author's Note: (I'm back!)

It's finally vacation time! School is over. I hope you like this update and hope that this makes up for my slow updates. ;-)

Special thanks to all those who commented. And to those who upvoted, marlia91, LeeJi98, Karenkitty1092, Taotic, Sweatervest_Suho, hongbeann, love_kris, Hala-bear, Zhuchu, Lola20, pink_baekbaek, vixxcha, Uvichan1, nam-seok, and bcpfgrg thank you so much! It means a lot to me.