“Unnie! Why are you sleeping out here?”

 

Solar woke up when she felt someone shaking her. She peeled open her eyes and saw Whee In looking at her with a confused face. She looked around at the surrounding and noticed that the sun was rising. The once dark dawn that she woke up to at 4am was turning to blue.

 

“What’s the time now?”

 

Solar whispered before pulling her body away from the pillar. Her eyes felt sore, and suddenly she remembered that she was crying before she fell asleep.

 

“6.30am, why are you sleeping outside here? Did you see Byulie Unnie?”

 

Wheein asked as she sat beside Solar, trying to fit herself into the jacket that was covering over Solar’s body.

 

“I couldn’t sleep inside there, so I thought I could just sit out for a while. Didn’t know that I could fell asleep.”

 

Solar replied absentmindedly. If it’s already 6.30am, it meant that Moonbyul has yet to come back from her so-called walk that took two and half hour.

 

“Isn’t this Byulie Unnie’s jacket?”

 

Whee In asked as she took a sniff at the varsity jacket that was keeping them warm.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Solar asked back, trying to ignore the scent that was all familiar to her.

 

“You talked to her, didn’t you?”

 

Whee In asked and Solar could only look away to the entrance of their Hanok.

 

“… I did.”

 

Solar replied after a few moments of silence. She did not want to lie to the younger girl. Not when the younger girl has been her support and confidant ever since they broke up.

 

MoonByul and her knew each other through Hye Jin and Whee in. While Hye Jin was Moon Byul’s protégé during her paramedic training days, Whee In was Solar’s mentee in an event planning company, where Solar was the team leader and Whee In was the event venue designer of the team. It was a coincident where both Whee In and Hye Jin decided to have dinner together so as to introduce their mentors to each other. And that was the beginning of their little clique’s adventures. Thus, when they broken up, both of them naturally became their confidant respectively. However, they sat on the fence, as both of them knew what happened along.

 

Moon Byul loses herself.

 

Solar loses her patience.

 

Both of them lose their love.

 

It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Maybe, they weren’t just meant to be.

 

Maybe they weren’t strong enough to overcome that phase of obstacles in their relationships.

 

But they are humans, and they all have their own needs.

 

MoonByul was selfish towards her commitment.

 

Solar was selfish about Moonbyul’s attention.

 

They sacrificed themselves to commitments and lives.

 

But sometimes, Solar wondered. Had only she is stronger, then perhaps they would still be together.

 

Had only she waits longer, perhaps MoonByul would adapts to the circumstance and returns to her both physically and mentally.

 

Had only she helps Moonbyul, perhaps MoonByul will find herself faster.

 

Had only…

 

Had only she remembered who MoonByul is before they were together, then perhaps she would not wonder this much right now.

 

The younger girl never had an easy life. The reason MoonByul became a paramedic is because she wanted to save people. She wanted to save as many as she could to salvage the loss of her parents during an accident when she was nine years old. Moonbyul remembered being at a loss when that accident occurred, she was only nine and she doesn’t know what to do to save her parents. Ever since, MoonByul believe that if she knew how to save people, then she wouldn’t have to watch her parents die in front of her own eyes. But years of working as paramedics and experiencing countless of helplessness when she watched victims died in front of her eyes made MoonByul closed her heart.  She soon learned that being emotionless is the only way to continue saving lives.

 

But when Solar entered her lives, things changed. That antics and naturally easygoing and adorable bright personality melted her heart. Unknowingly, she had let Solar had crept into her heart.

 

On the other hand, Solar had found herself falling for MoonByul when she sawe how charming and quiet the younger girl was. First, she was intrigued by MoonByul’s character. Then, she soon found her heart fluttering at how well – mannered and caring the younger girl was. Last, she realized that she had fallen in love with MoonByul, hard.

 

She thought she would be the one that is chasing after Moonbyul, or so everyone thought. But, to everyone’s surprise, MoonByul was the one that went after Solar first.

 

“I may not be easy to love, but I hope you could give me a chance to love you and maybe, if possible, for you to love me back too. I’ll try my best to make it easy for you to love me…”

 

That was how MoonByul confessed to her.

 

 

“I love you. I’m sorry if it’s been hard for you to love me.”

 

“I promise I’ll always love you no matter how hard it is to love you.”

 

 

That was Solar’s promise to MoonByul during their first year anniversary.

 

 

“You know, you could leave if you find it hard to love me.”

 

It was meant to be a joke, Solar knew. But she doesn’t like it.

 

“I’ll always stay by you and love you.”

 

 

That was Solar’s promise to MoonByul during their second year anniversary.

 

 

“I love you, really.”

 

“To the moon and back to the sun?”

 

“To the moon and back to the sun.”

 

 

There should be another promise, but that year was rough with all the happenings, and Solar didn’t really believe what MoonByul said. So, she only replied with a smile.

 

But she was too blind by the mess of the situation to see the sincerity in MoonByul’s eyes when she said that.

 

And she was too lost in her insecurity to see the sadness in MoonByul’s eyes when she planted a kiss on MoonByul’s cheek.

 

MoonByul knew, Solar knew.

 

That there would not be another year of promises anymore, not when a promise to a dead kills them all.

 

“Unnie…”

 

Whee In’s soft calling woke her up from her reminisce. She gave a sad smile to the younger girl while shaking her head softly.

 

“I – I don’t know what to do anymore. Two years, Whee In ah… I thought that I would be over her during these two years. I thought I could find someone that is willing to give me their everything and I could give them my everything.”

 

“You did, didn’t you? Senior Yoon Ha is that someone that you’re looking for.”

 

Whee In replied as she rubbed Solar’s back softly, whose eyes had become teary.

 

“That’s what I thought too… until I saw her yesterday… just the look of her already had me thinking. And… and what I heard and saw earlier - ”

 

Solar choked on her words as she tried to blink her tears away.

 

“I realized. I realized that even if I could find someone that could me their everything, I couldn’t. I couldn’t because I have nothing to me right now.”

 

“I keep thinking about all those ‘what ifs’, Whee In ah. I keep thinking if I stayed on, if I had stayed on… then maybe, maybe we wouldn’t end up like this. I – I…”

 

“I’ve never been easy to love, haven’t I?”

 

Moon Byul’s words rang in her ears and she couldn’t help but felt guilty over it. Moon Byul’s wrong. Solar thought, she’s damn wrong because there hadn’t been anybody that is easier to love than Moon Byul.

 

Because what Moon Byul had wanted from the start was simple. She just wanted Solar to be happy and loved.

 

And in return, Moon Byul just needed someone to love her and be happy.

 

“I still love her… Whee In. I still love her and it scares me so much to see how much she had change. It scares me so much to see that I’m losing her and – and she’s losing herself.”

 

Solar choked out and the younger girl could only pulled her into her embrace.

 

“It’s alright, Unnie. It’s alright.”

 

“Whee In? Unnie?”

 

Hye Jin called out softly as she saw the two huddled up together. Whee In turned around and shook her head slightly and her best friend while mouthing Moon Byul’s name. She watched as Hye Jin’s face fell.

 

They both knew. They knew things weren’t that simple and somehow, it breaks their heart to see how broken they are right now.

 

“Unnie called me… she’s getting breakfast for all of us.”

 

Hye Jin mumbled as she hugged her knees while sitting beside them, listening to Solar’s sniffling that soon turned into silence.

 

“Unnie!”

 

Hye Jin called out when she saw the familiar figure entering their hanok fifteen minutes later with two hands full of bags. She quickly jumped down from the platform and went over to help Moon Byul with the food.

 

“Hasn’t anyone waken up yet?”

 

“I’ll wake them!”

 

Whee In said as she gave a pat on Solar’s shoulder before entering the room.

“I’ll get the disposable plates and cups!”

 

Hye Jin said and entered the kitchen, leaving Solar and Moon Byul alone at the yard.

 

“I’ve bought some kimbap, pancake and stews. You can choose what you want to eat first?”

 

Moon Byul said as she fumbled around the plastic bags, getting the food out one by one.

 

They could heard movements and chattering from the rooms and before they knew it, the rest of the group started coming out of the room, mumbling mornings and complaining about the cold before settling down in front of the food and the two of them join them too.

 

“Solar? Have some kimbap.”

 

Yoon Ha said as he served her two slices of kimbap, earning a smile from Solar.

 

“Are you alright? Your eyes seem red.”

 

Yoon Ha asked again that had Moon Byul taking a glance that the couple that sat opposite them.

 

“I’m fine, probably the wind that got my eyes dry and red.”

 

Solar said as she took a bite of her kimbap, eyes eyeing the hot stew that was in front of her.
 

“Are you cold? Here, take my jacket.”

 

Yoon Ha said as he took off his jacket but Solar shook her head. She would prefer to have some stew to warm her inside than having another jacket around her.

 

“It’s alright, you should keep that jacket on least you caught a cold too.”

 

Solar answered before picking up a spoon, wanting to get some stew from the box in front of her but someone beside her took it away before she could reached it.

 

“Ahh… as expected, intestine stew is the best for hangover.”

 

Soo Mi exclaimed as she drank her soup, not noticing that her friend was pouting a little for not being able to drink it.

 

“Do you want some coffee then?”

 

Yoon Ha asked as he passed a cup of instant coffee to Solar but she shook her head.

 

“Drink up, you’re shivering.”

 

A box of piping hot intestine stew was placed in front of her and she looked up immediately, only to see Moon Byul retracting her hand away from the box.

 

“But that’s yours…”

 

Solar muttered but the younger girl merely shrugged her shoulders.

 

“Doesn’t matter. You like it more anyway.”

 

Moon Byul muttered as she stuffed another piece of kimbap into before putting down her chopsticks, signifying she’s done with her meal.

 

“Unnie, you’re done? You only ate like what? Three small kimbap?”

 

Hye Jin commented when she saw Moon Byul excusing herself from the table.

 

“It’s more than enough. I’m not that hungry anyway.”

 

She replied, as she walked into the room, not bothering about the fact that Solar’s eyes have been tracking her since then. Solar watched as Moon Byul’s disappeared into the room before turning back to drink the stew.

 

She felt a smile creeping up on her face. Not because of the fact that Moon Byul gave the stew to her and remembered it’s her favorite.  But because of the fact that Moon Byul still refuses to eat much for breakfast until Solar has to feed her.

 

This made Solar happy for no reason.

 

This made Solar felt that, she hasn’t really lost Moon Byul.

 

The Moon Byul that she loves and still loves.

 

---

 

The whole group of them was walking down the Hanok village after cleaning themselves up for a little trip around the village. They were walking in small little cliques, talking and chattering around, enjoying the scent of morning and the little warmth that were provided by the Sun.

 

Moon Byul, Hye Jin and Whee In were walking at the very front with Solar and Yoon Ha following them close behind. Two of Moon Byul’s paramedic team members and friends, Si An and Jung Hwan were behind them and followed by a few of Solar’s university best friends, who were Whee In’s seniors too.

 

They were fooling around while walking when all of a sudden, a loud boom could be heard that had all of them ducking down in the middle of the road.

 

“What was that?!”

 

Si An shouted and looked around the place before commenting.

 

“Holy Sh..”

 

Moon Byul and Hye Jin looked up at that comment and their eyes widened. There was a big fire burning down a Hanok that was a few Hanoks down the streets. There were screams and people starting running out from the nearby Hanoks as the fire blazed on hugely.

 

“Hye Jin, get the group far away from here! Jung Hwan and Si An, follow me to get the rest of the residents away!”

 

Moon Byul commanded when she saw the situation getting chaotic.

 

“Yes, Team Leader!”

 

They had no time to lose. Hye Jin hurriedly rushed the group further back up to the road that they had just covered while Moon Byul, Jung Hwan and Si An ran down the streets.

 

“We’re the fire department paramedics! Get away from there! Hurry! Everyone move up towards the road behind, don’t stand here and just look! Someone call the police and fire department too! NOW!!”

 

Moon Byul screamed while flagging her hands towards the direction where Hye Jin was. Jung Hwan and Si An started to direct the residents towards Hye Jin while Moon Byul ran further down to the burning Hanok.

 

“Please, help! My daughter in law and granddaughter is inside! Please help them!”

 

A granny started pulling on Moon Byul’s hand when she saw her coming towards her hanok.

 

“Halmoni! What happened?”

 

“I don’t know, I was out here and something exploded suddenly. We’re not cooking anything at all. Please! My daughter in law and granddaughter is still inside the room!”

 

“Alright, please calm down and follow my subordinates down to a safer place. I know you’re worried but you can’t stay here. Please, follow them down to a safer place.”

 

Moon Byul said as she gently pried the granny’s hands away from hers while getting Jung Hwan to bring her away.
 

“Please, Madam! I only have them left. Please!”

 

The granny bawled as Jung Hwan led her away while trying to calm her down.

 

“Team leader!”

 

Si An called out as he joined her.

 

“We have to get in. There’s a child and her mum inside the room.”

 

Moon Byul said as she turned around and walked towards the back of the Hanok which was still not burned yet.

 

“Do you think they’re still alive?”

 

Si An asked, as he followed behind her.

 

“What kind of question is that?! The house is not fully burned down yet! We can’t let go any opportunities of saving the survivals!”

 

Moon Byul snapped at her member before taking a deep breath.

 

“Go and check if the team is coming. I’ll be going in to check where they are.”

 

“Team Leader!”

 

“GO! I’m trained in fire department. So hurry and GO!”

 

Moon Byul commanded and Si An clenched his teeth before running back to the the main road.

 

Moon Byul looked around the house and ran a few steps away from the short wall fence before running towards it and jumped. She caught onto the top and started to pull herself up before climbing over it and jumped inside the backyard. The smoke was heavy and Moon Byul found herself choking. Looking around, she saw laundry hanging around the back of the yard and a tap nearby. Quickly, she pulled three cloth down swiftly and wet it under the tap before covering her body with one of the wet cloth and another around her nose and mouth. She then kicked through one of the window and climbed into the house.

 

“Anyone here?!”

 

She called out, bending her body as she walked out of the room to a blazing front part of the house.

 

“Anybody here!? Please call out!”

 

She heard a small cry and without any hesitation, she ran towards the sound of the cry and found two figures huddling close at the corner of the house.

 

She heard the sirens of the ambulance and fire engine outside of the house and silently prayed that she would be able to get the two of them out safely.

 

Moon Byul went towards the two figures and noticed that the lady was carrying the crying toddler.

 

“Miss? Are you alright? I’m a paramedic firefighter.”

 

She called out and the lady nodded before handing her baby towards Moon Byul.

 

“The table got my legs. I can’t move. Please, save my girl first. Please!”

 

She begged as Moon Byul carried the toddler into her embrace.

 

“Please get her out safely and tell my mother in law that I’m sorry to leave her with a burden at her age.”

 

“Miss! Don’t say that! I’ll get both of you out safely. I promised!”

 

Moon Byul could hear men shouting and things crackling. She knew that they are putting out the fire as fast as they could right now. But she heard a loud cracked above them and she knew then. Moon Byul knew then she’s running out of time. All of them are running out of time.

 

---

 

“Where’s Byul!?”

 

Solar shouted once she saw Si An running back to them alone. She tried to look behind him but saw no familiar figure following after.

 

Solar’s heartbeats quickened.

 

Fear captured her whole being when she slowly realized what was happening with Si An’s uneasy look.

 

“Where. The. Hell. Is. Byul?!”

 

Solar asked with clenched teeth and Si An could only look down.

 

“ANSWER ME!”

 

Solar shouted and Si An flinched at that tone.

 

“Si An uh… Where’s team leader?”

 

Hye Jin asked softly, feeling blood draining out of her body when she realized what was going on too.

 

“Team Leader sent me back to check on the status of the fire engine! There are two trapped victims reported! Team Leader had went in to check on the situation, SENIOR!”

 

Si An reported with a salute at Hye Jin and she knew that things are going on professionally now. She knew, Si An had no choice too.

 

“Report over. Jung Hwan, stay here with the rest. Si An and I will go down and check the status.”

 

“Yes, Senior!”

 

Both of them responded and Hye Jin started running down the streets but got held back by some calls from the group.

 

“Unnie! Solar!”

 

She turned around and saw Solar struggling to get away from the hold that the rest had on her.

 

“Let me go! Let me go!”

 

Solar shouted with wide eyes when she saw Hye Jin taking charge over the team now. She may not be part of the team, but she’s not stupid to know what is going on when Hye Jin is the one taking charge of the team.

 

It could only mean one thing.

 

Moon Byul is in danger.

 

Before Hye Jin could stop Solar, the older girl had already broken free from the hold and ran past them down the streets to where the burning Hanok was.

 

Si An, Hye Jin, Whee In and Yoon Ha immediately ran after her and blocked her as they stopped near the burning Hanok where the fire engine and ambulance had just arrived and getting into work right away.

 

“Unnie, please, just stay here!”

 

Hye Jin begged while the police came over to control the situation and crowd. She then went into the restricted area to report to her Chief.

 

“Moon Team Leader is inside, there’re two trapped victims reported…”

 

Solar couldn’t hear anything anymore when all she could see and hear was MoonByul’s face and voice in her mind.

 

She couldn’t move nor talk when the fire burned hugely in front of her, as if they were also burning a huge hole in her heart.

 

“Byul uh, please, come out… please…”

 

Solar begged soullessly as she fell onto her knees with Whee In hugging her at the side.

 

“Please, you said you would love me to the moon and back to the sun…you can’t just leave me now… you’re my everything…”

 

Her eyes scanning helplessly around the Hanok, hoping to see Moon Byul coming out of it anytime soon.

 

“Chief! The roof is collapsing!”

 

Solar heard the firefighter called out and she held onto her breath.

 

“No… no no no!”

 

Solar mumbled as she tried to move to stand up.

 

“NO!! BYUL AH!!”

 

Solar screamed out loud as she watched the whole Hanok collapsed and being engulfed by the red angry fire right in front of her eyes.

 

“NO!!!”

 

Solar screamed as she collapsed back down hardly on her knees.

 

There was no Moon Byul in her sight at all.

 

And she felt that everything is gone.

 

Her everything is gone.

 

Just like how… how Moon Byul felt when Solar left her.

 

Everything.

 

Gone.