Wheein stared blankly at the blinking television. Seated in the comfortable couch with a blanket wrapped around her body, she barely remembered what the show was about.

 

She was tired.

 

Her eyes felt dry and sore.

 

She willed to close her eyes and drift to dreamland.

 

But her mind refused. It was overactive, too overactive.

 

The moment she closed her eyes, images would flashed in her mind.

 

Images of her quarreling with her father in the afternoon, how she threw the bowl of food onto the floor, how her teenager step sister glared at her and her younger step sister cried in shock. How her step mother picked up the broken pieces, how she shouted more loudly with her father, how her father picked up the younger girl and pacify her.

 

How she left the house in bitterness with jealousy burning through her as she never ever remembers her dad carrying her when she cries.

 

It’s useless. Wheein thought. Her dad had only came to find her after disappearing for twenty years because her mum passed away two years ago.

 

Why try to be a father figure to her when she doesn’t need it anymore?

 

Twenty years. During these twenty years, he did not even appear once.

 

So why now?

 

Wheein doesn’t understand. She doesn’t want to understand too.

 

The first time they reunited was on her birthday, a year ago. Her dad appeared in front of the doorstep. But Wheein had no recollection of him at all.

 

And neither he remembered it was her birthday.

 

The second time they met, was when he introduced his new family to her. It didn’t really ended well.

 

Wheein wanted to get out of his life, and him, out of her life. But her dad refused. It ended with an argument that her dad was rendered speechless.

 

Why now? Why now when they were already out of each other lives for twenty years?

 

Her dad has no responses.

 

Wheein didn’t know she could be anymore disappointed than she already was.

 

“Still awake?”

 

Wheein snapped out of her thoughts and looked towards the voice.

 

Hyejin was standing there, in a long black sweatshirt and pants; her shoulder length black hair was tied into a small ponytail.

 

“Yeah…”

 

Wheein answered softly and Hyejin cleared before turning around.

 

“Off the T.V.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I need a breather too. Let’s go for a drive.”

 

Hyejin said as she disappeared into her room and reappeared with a black ball cap on her head and keys in her hands.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

Wheein stared at her as if she has grown another head. It’s 2 in the morning. But Hyejin wasn’t bothered by it as she walked towards the foyer and put on her shoes.

 

“Wheein?”

 

She called one last time and Wheein unbundled herself from the blanket before leaving the house together with Hyejin.

 

They were on the drive at the highway. Soft music was playing through the radio and Hyejin had only one hand on the wheel, while the other was against the window as she supported her head with her fist.

 

They were already 30 minutes into the drive. But neither spoke at all. Wheein just stared out the window the whole time, watching the streetlights passing by and cars zooming by. It was therapeutic though, better than the television show.

 

“I hate him.”

 

Wheein muttered out all of a sudden. From the corner of her eyes, she could see Hyejin throwing a glance at her.

 

“We quarreled again. This afternoon. I told him to leave me alone.”

 

Wheein hissed out as she closed her eyes tightly.

 

“He refused. Said he will continue to come and find me because we’re a family.”

 

Wheein continued and scoffed bitterly.

 

“Bull.”

 

She wiped the tears that dropped from her eyes furiously.

 

“My family only consists of me, mummy and grandma.”

 

“Even if I’m alone now. The dynamic of my family will never change.”

 

“I just want to get away from him.”

 

Wheein breathed out and muttered a few curses after that. Hyejin merely drove on smoothly.

 

But Wheein started to cry harder. The thoughts of her mum and grandma made her heart ached. The reminder that she was alone now made her felt lonelier. And she started to bawl.

 

Hyejin merely clenched her jaws and blinked away the tears that gathered in her eyes when she heard the hard sobs.

 

She sat up straighter, changed the hand on the wheel and reached over to Wheein’s.

 

She wrapped her hand around Wheein’s trembling ones and grabbed on tightly when she felt Wheein’s grasped on hers desperately.

 

“I’m here.”

 

Hyejin said and squeezed Wheein’s hand once. She heard Wheein took a deep breath and controlled her cries.

 

Soon after, the crying stopped and she could feel Wheein’s eyes on her.

 

She stole a look and gave the tired girl a small smile.

 

“I’m here.”

 

She whispered again and felt Wheein interlocked their hands. She rubbed circles on the back of Wheein’s hand with her thumb as Wheein continued to look at her direction.

 

Another hour into the drive and she saw Wheein’s body relaxed from the corner of her eyes. She turned around and saw that the girl has fallen asleep. Head lolling around the headrest and she smiled as she turned her sight back to the road.

 

She changed the direction of the car and head back to her apartment.

 

Tonight, it took a 3-hour drive to make Wheein fell into a slumber.

 

Hyejin thought as she carried the deep asleep Wheein back up into her apartment.

 

The second time Wheein had insomnia was during the period of her mother's death anniversary.

 

Wheein basically hardly sleeps.

 

She tossed and turned every night, sometimes crying silently to herself, sometimes staring into space.

 

On the third night, Wheein turned to the living room, choosing to sit in front of the ceiling floor glass windows and stared out of the streets.

 

A can of beer was beside her, half drank, but it tasted more bitter than usual so she chose to leave it there.

 

She was tired, she was sad, she was lonely, she was inconsolable.

 

But there’s nothing much for her to do.

 

She wanted to draw out her longing and love for her mother, but she found that she couldn’t draw it out completely before she cry.

 

“Hey…”

 

A figure sat down beside her and Wheein merely just hummed back.

 

“The weather seems nice tonight. Want to go out?”

 

Hyejin asked quietly as she took Wheein’s beer and drank it.

 

“No… go and sleep, Hyejin. I know what you’re doing.”

 

Wheein responded back gently. She knew. She knew that her best friend is always sacrificing her sleep to make her sleep.

 

She knew Hyejin was trying to bring her out for a drive so she could fall asleep to the gentle motion of the car.

 

When she just started out working, she could barely cope to meet ends. But, Hyejin, who had a lawyer license and came out from a wealthy family, her best friend since middle school was always there for her.

 

Getting an apartment from her father as a trade off since they were never really there when she was young, Hyejin pulled Wheein in to stay with her without rent.

 

She doesn’t pay for the apartment too, was the reason that Hyejin gave Wheein when the shorter girl wanted to pay the rent.

 

When her job got stable and wanted to move out, Hyejin begged her to stay because she doesn’t want to come back to an empty house. Wheein agreed, because she too, doesn’t really like the idea of going back to an empty house.

 

Hyejin was always there.

 

Wheein doesn’t understand why.

 

It’s more than what a friend could do.

 

Wheein doesn’t think that much.

 

“I just need a breather… work’s piling up so much that I can’t breathe. I can’t seem to fall asleep too. I just want to drive out and think about nothing. Could you just accompany me?”

 

Wheein doesn’t know what to think about it. It seemed like an excuse, but at the same time, she saw how stressed and busy Hyejin was recently too. The sincerity in Hyejin’s eyes when she looked at her was the last straw.

 

Soon after, Wheein found herself sitting in the car with Hyejin driving.

 

This time round, it was still Wheein who broke the silence first.

 

She told Hyejin about her work.

 

She told Hyejin about her missing for her mum and grandma.

 

She told Hyejin how she hated the insomnia.

 

She told Hyejin how she wanted it to be gone.

 

She told Hyejin she considered to see a doctor.

 

She told Hyejin her dad wanted to pay her mother a visit on her death anniversary.

 

Hyejin answered with short replies.

 

Sometimes, with a nod,

 

Sometimes, with a smile.

 

Sometimes, with a frown.

 

Sometimes, with an eye contact.

 

When Wheein has finished venting out everything, she was back to staring at Hyejin’s profile.

 

She could vaguely remembered, before her eyes surrendered to the heavy eyelids, Hyejin turned to look at her for a second.

 

Before she fell into a deep slumber, she felt a warm hand over hers.

 

“I’m here. Go ahead and sleep.”

 

She couldn’t remember much. But she did know that she clutched onto the warmth tightly that was on her hands.

 

That night, it took a 4-hour drive before Wheein fall asleep.

 

Hyejin thought as she carried the girl up back her apartment.

 

It was almost 5 in the morning.

 

And Hyejin left for work at 7 in the morning.

 

-

 

The third time that Wheein had insomnia was after the mourning of her mum’s anniversary.

 

Her dad was with her.

 

Hyejin had left for Japan for further discussion on the lawsuit she’s handling.

 

Seeing her mum’s grave made it more painful for her.

 

She could still feel her mum’s warmth.

 

She could still hear her mum’s voice.

 

She could still feel her mum’s presence.

 

And it was hard.

 

She refused to close her eyes.

 

So she sat on the couch of her father’s apartment.

 

She never intended to stay overnight. But her dad begged her too.

 

Wheein doesn’t see the point, but the older man was sincere in wanting to bond with her.

 

“Wheein?”

 

Her dad called out, confused to find his daughter in the living room late at night.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Wheein answered soullessly as she continued to stare at the TV screen.

 

“Not sleeping?”

 

“Can’t.”

 

“Can’t? Why? Do you have insomnia?”

 

Her dad asked, concerned as he sat beside her.

 

“Yeah…”

 

“How long has it been?”

 

“Not very. Only on certain events.”

 

Wheein doesn’t know why was she telling so much about herself to him.

 

Maybe it’s the tiredness that she having, maybe it’s the quietness of the night.

 

Maybe, she just wanted to vent it all out.

 

“How do you usually go through it then? Maybe I could help?”

 

Her dad asked gently, eyes trained on her so softly as if he's afraid he might break her accidentally.

 

Wheein thought for a while.

 

“Drive.”

 

“Drive?”

 

“Hyejin would bring me out for a drive.”

 

“Okay, let’s go then.”

 

Her dad said before patting her lightly on the shoulder.

 

“It’s alright. You don’t have to do this. Just go and sleep. I’ll be fine.”

 

Wheein said and she watched as her father sighed before squatting down in front of her.

 

“Wheein uh… don’t do this please. I – I could only do this much for you. Please.”

 

They had a staring contest for a while before Wheein gave in.

 

They had a long 3-hour drive.

 

But Wheein did not fall asleep.

 

Her dad was apologetic about it, but Wheein told him not to.

 

She was confused too, every time they went out for a drive, Wheein would fall asleep. But why not this time round?

 

Wheein did manage to fall asleep early in the morning.

 

It was 7 in the morning.

 

She fell asleep to the message that she received from Hyejin.

 

 

 

Morning! I’m in the airport now. Will reach Seoul around afternoon? I’ll pick you up from your dad’s place around 2pm.

 

- Hyejinie

 

When Hyejin picked her up that afternoon, Wheein seemed to know why she couldn’t fall asleep the night before. But she wasn’t sure.

 

“Wheein?”

 

Hyejin called out and Wheein looked up from the book that she was reading.

 

“Hm?”

 

“Insomnia?”

 

Hyejin asked with a raised brow.

 

“No…”

 

“Then why aren’t you asleep? It’s 2 in the morning already.”

 

Hyejin asked as she plopped herself down on the couch beside Wheein.

 

“This book is interesting. I can’t put it down! Why aren’t you sleeping then?”

 

Wheein asked as she moved closer to Hyejin, snuggling to the warmth beside her.

 

“Are you… checking up on me?”

 

Wheein asked when she realized Hyejin could not reply her.

 

“No! I wasn’t… I – I’m just…”

 

Hyejin defended anxiously.

 

Wheein laughed before throwing herself on top of the younger girl and hugged her tightly. The interesting book that she was reading dropped to the ground.

 

“You know what?”

 

“Wh – what?”

 

“I think… I don’t need you to drive me out anymore.”

 

Wheein whispered softly as she hugged the younger girl tighter when Hyejin hugged her back.

 

“You went for the doctor already?”

 

Hyejin asked as she Wheein’s back gently.

 

“I’ve already had a doctor long ago.”

 

Wheein answered before looking up at Hyejin.

 

“Really?! When?”

 

“Since middle school. Since I know someone called Ahn Hyejin. Since she started to look after me more than herself. Since she started to place me as her world. Since she started to look at me only. Since she started to sacrifice her sleep just for me to sleep.”

 

Wheein replied with tears gathering up in her eyes.

 

She didn’t know.

 

She doesn’t know.

 

Not until yesterday night, not until this afternoon.

 

Then, she realized.

 

Hyejin loves her all along.

 

And she was too blind to notice. Not until yesterday night that she figured out the importance of Hyejin’s presence in her life.

 

The drive doesn’t make her fall asleep.

 

Hyejin’s presence was what made her feel safe to fall asleep.

 

“I don’t fall asleep to the drive, Hyejin.”

 

“I fall asleep to you.”

 

Hyejin looked at her in confusion.

 

“Why? Because I’m too boring?”

 

Hyejin asked innocently.

 

“No!”

 

Wheein has to laugh at the confused Hyejin.

 

“Then?”

 

“Because I feel safe with you. Because you’re always here for me.”

 

Wheein said before she leaned forward slowly.

 

“Because I love you.”

 

She whispered before pressing her lips against Hyejin’s.

 

It took a while before Hyejin responded and melted into the kiss.

 

They broke apart with ragged breath and sweet smiles on their faces.

 

“I love you too.”

 

Hyejin replied softly as they leaned in once again and pressed their lips together.

 

That night, Wheein realized that she no longer has insomnia.

 

Because, every night, she falls asleep to Hyejin’s face.

 

She falls asleep to Hyejin’s kisses.

 

She falls asleep to Hyejin’s warmth.

 

She falls asleep to Hyejin’s embrace.

 

She falls asleep to Hyejin’s ‘I love you’s.

 

She falls asleep to Hyejin’s love.