“Maybe we weren’t just meant to be!”

“I need someone that is able to be with me, always, with both their mental and physical state!”

“It’s so hard for me to always be alone! It’s already tough enough with you around me but not your heart! Now you’re telling me you’re going to be up in the mountain for two years?”

“It’s just for work – ”

“Work? WORK?! Cut the crap, Moon Byul Yi! The main reason you’re going up the mountain is only because of her!”

“You might as well be with her!”

“Lis – ”

“I’ve had enough…”

“Let’s break up.”

“Maybe… it’s for the best of us. You can concentrate fully on her and I… I could probably find someone that could give me their everything.”

“Let’s… break up.”

Moonbyul gasped awake. She sat up on her bed and squeezed her eyes tight when she realized it’s a dream.

A dream that had haunts her for two years.

A dream that she wished it wasn’t a reality back then.

Moonbyul buried her face into her hands, trying to bury away the ache that she felt in her heart from the dreams, trying to erase the teary face she saw in her dreams.

But to no avail.

She couldn’t, no matter how hard she tried for the past two years, she just couldn’t.

“I’ve told you before, haven’t I? I’m not easy to love.”

She muttered under her breath, before collecting her emotions and went to wash up.

She came out of the bathroom 10 minutes later, fresh and smart – looking, as she should be. She stared at her own reflection in the full-length mirror and gave a scowl at what she saw on her orange uniform.

Mountain Ranger

Team Leader

Moon Byul Yi

Two years on the mountains, becoming one with the mountains, maintaining disciplinary in the mountain, saving victims and watching how some victims died right in front of her.

These two years… hadn’t been easy. It has never been easy. Those intense training and on the spot decisions she had to make in order to save those lives.

The scars she had on her mind and heart. The blood she had stain on her hands from her mountain climbing and victims she came across.

It’ll never heal.

Two years on the mountains, far away from civic life, into another paradise. Today marks her last year of service as the mountain ranger. From tomorrow onwards, she’ll be back in the city life. Back to the Paramedic department, back to her team, back to her team leader post.

It’s a bittersweet feeling, and Moonbyul doesn’t know what to make out of it. Straightening her uniform, she went out of her room and was immediately welcomed by a line of rangers that was under her, saluting.

“Good morning, Team Leader Moon!”

They chorused and she saluted back at them with a smile.

“Are you done with your packing?”

A deep voice sounded near them and together with her team, they saluted to the middle age man in his grey uniform.

“Good morning, Captain Song!”

“I’m almost there, captain.”

Moonbyul replied after the captain waved them off.

“Good, good.”

The old man smiled and gave her a pat on her shoulder.

“It’s been hard for you these two years. I’ve never expected them to send a female up in the mountain to lead a bunch of private soldiers. But… you did great. In fact, it’s too great. I hope these two years experience will served you good back in the paramedic team.”

“Yes captain, I believe it certainly would.”

“I would want to say I hope to see you back here again, but on a second thought, no. I wouldn’t want to see you back here again. But I would want to see you doing great in everywhere you are. See you down in the city soon.”

Moonbyul gave a small laughter together with the captain.

“Sure, I hope to see you soon too, captain.”

In a blink of an eye, it’s already 2 in the afternoon and it’s time for her to discharge from the ranger team.

With a hard and playful goodbye, Moonbyul sling her luggage across her body and went down the mountain that she is used to for the past two years, but with a different feeling now.

“MoonByul.”

She heard a female voice once she reached the bottom of the mountain and she turned around.

A lady stood there with a toddler in hand and she gave her a small smile.

“Are you leaving already?”

“Yeah, I am.”

She replied gently and squat down to the toddler’s eye level.

“Yeo Reum uh, I’m going off already. Listen well to your Umma, alright?”

Yeo Reum nodded his head and hugged Moonbyul tightly.

“Will you come back to visit us?”

“I will, maybe when I have the time.”

Moonbyul replied the little boy and ruffled his hair before standing up to face the lady.

“Take care, SooYeon.”

SooYeon swallowed the lump in before giving her a nod.

“I will, you should take good care too.”

“I’ll… I’ll find time to come and visit the both of you from time to time.”

“You shouldn’t if you’re busy.”

“Even though… I should. It’s… a promise. The least I could do is to keep the promise alive…”

Moonbyul whispered before giving SooYeon a smile and a pat on the shoulder.

“I’ll get going now. Bye.”

With that said, Moonbyul turned around and gripped the sling of her luggage tighter. She inhaled deeply.

And the guilt felt heavier.

The guilt of failing to save those whom are dear to her seemed to weigh down her whole body and she knew it’d never be gone.

Especially, those who were gone from this world.

As she settled down in the bus, she closed her eyes and tried to forget everything else in the world once again. And once again, she hoped that those monsters of guilt would not haunt her in her dreams.

“MOON BYUL YI! Where the hell are you?”

She pulled the phone away from her ear and muttered a curse.

“I’ve just arrived in Seoul. What’s up?”

“What’s up? What what’s up? Didn’t you receive my message?”

“I did.”

“And?”

“And?”

“Oh c’mon, join us! It’s been two years since we saw each other. This is the best chance don’t you think?”

“Oh c’mon, Hye Jin. Give me a break, I just arrived in Seoul after a three-hour journey and have yet to get home. Now you’re asking me to join you for a road trip? Are you kidding me?”

“Unnie… please, everyone is dying to see you. I promised! I promised you don’t have to lift a single muscle for these two days. Just come and relax. It’s been two years. A small trip in the civic life right after being in the mountain for so long is the perfect choice! Please~”

Hye Jin pleaded in the phone and Moonbyul groaned. She knew she had no reason to reject the younger girl anymore. Hye Jin has been following her movement like a hawk as they have been keeping in contact for the two years. She knew her schedule better than anyone else.

With a few more annoying and sickening pleading in her ears, Moonbyul gave in.

“Fine! Fine! Where do I meet you then?”

“Great! We are all meeting outside Seoul Subway station now, you can just come straight over.”

Moonbyul hummed and hung up her phone before walking towards the station. It’s lucky that she’s alighted near Seoul station. 

--

A group of people was waiting outside the subway station. Some were playing, some were just simply chatting while waiting for the bus to come.

“OH MY GOD!”

Someone gasped out loud and it attracted the attention of the group. Everyone looked over to where the person was looking and were taken aback. But soon, they grew excited and cheers started coming out when they saw the familiar figure walking towards them in a simple jeans and varsity jacket.

“Byul!”

“Team Leader!”

They started calling and swarmed over her as Moonbyul stopped in front of them. They started to fuss over her and Moonbyul, overwhelmed by the sudden response, could only smile and nod as she tried to calm all of them down.

“Whee In uh, you didn’t said she would come!”

Whee In turned over to the older girl and gave a shrug.

“Well, Hye Jin only mentioned that she’s invited, but she didn’t said whether she would join or not. I guess it’s a last minute thing. I only know she’s discharged from the ranger today.”

Whee In explained and gave an apologetic look to the older girl, who looked like she’s about to turn around and walk away.

“Solar Unnie! You can’t just leave! You had already promised that you would join the road trip!”

Whee In whispered harshly and grabbed onto Solar’s hands.

“But – “

“No buts! You promised! You barely spent the last two years with us. You’re always busy with this and that. Plus, he’s here. You can’t just leave.”

Whee In argued and looked at Solar’s face before pulling her closer to the group.

“Whee in uh…”

Solar exhaled softly and shook her head lightly.

“You said that it’s all in the past. So past it shall be.”

Whee In reminded and Solar could only laugh bitterly inside her heart.

Past? What past?

There’s no such thing as past when she could not even forget about the younger girl for the past two years.

There’s no such thing as past when all she could do now is to stare at the younger girl who looked fitter than before.

There’s no such thing as past when her eyes met the younger eyes.

She watched as Moonbyul’s smile fade from her face when they made an eye contact.

She watched as the whole group fell into silence as they watched what is unfolding in front of them.

She watched as the memories of them past by in their eyes.

She watched, as everything around them seemed to lose focus and freeze.

“Hi…”

She watched, as Moonbyul greeted her softly with a small bow.

She watched, as the familiar soft greeting entered her ears and triggered all those same soft greetings she once received when she woke up in the morning in Moonbyul’s arms.

She watched, as the bow indicated something different.

Their eyes met again when Moonbyul’s straightened her body and she watched once again.

She watched, as Moonbyul’s eyes, which were once the windows that showed her what everything meant, slowly dimmed and became nothing but sadness.

And for some reasons…

Solar felt her heart aching.

She felt the urge to find back the light in Moonbyul’s eyes.

She felt the need to show Moonbyul that everything is going to be alright.

But a strong, muscular hand around her shoulders woke her up.

Solar only saw blankness in Moonbyul’s eyes now and before she could do anything, Moonbyul was lead away by Hye Jin and Whee In to the bus that arrived moments ago.

Solar took a glance at the Yoon Ha before forcing a smile at him. They went forward to the bus and Solar couldn’t help but keep her eyes on the strong back view that seemed to be weighing down by something invisible.

And it reminded her, that she probably might be one of the weights.

And it reminded her…

That she is a nobody in Moonbyul’s life now.

PS: Thank you for all the comments!