Same, yet different.

Caring too much
Please Subscribe to read the full chapter

 

"Hey Oppa, what are you up to?"

A soft, familiar voice calls out to Jong kook and he looks up from the spread of documents on his desk, surprised to find Jihyo peeking in from behind his mahogany office door.

He smiles brightly at her appearance and checks the time on his wrist watch. Five o'clock in the afternoon. She would have just finished her afternoon clinics.

"Hey yourself. Ready to go home? Just give me five minutes and let me finish what I'm doing." He says, quickly returning to the contract that he was working on so as to wrap things up.

It's a usual occurrence for them now - they would meet at the end of the day, go for a meal and then he would send her home. He likes this routine of winding down together. It feels intimate... and how he imagines their married life would be like. 

His face reddens at the thought and he coughs to hide it. 

"Eo Oppa." Something in her voice makes him pause. She sounds... shaky. He puts down his pen and eyes her. 

His girlfriend had ambled over to the leather armchairs at the sitting area in his room that he usually uses to receive guests. She settles down and picks up a cushion to hug, her fingers idly playing with the frayed ends. Her eyes are distant as they stare blankly out at his full length windows.

Jong kook puts his pen down. "Jihyo-ya." He stands up slowly, a strange ache in his chest telling him that something is bothering her.

"What's wrong, baby?"

She looks at him, a lost look in her eyes. "I just... " She bites her lip. "Can you come hold me Oppa?"

He walks towards her and pulls her gently up into his arms. It is only then that he notices her pale cheeks and the strain between her brows. Pressing a kiss against her forehead, he asks, "You okay?"

She shakes her head a little before settling it against his chest. He picks up her hand to lace her fingers with his. They are a little shaky and her body is tense. She doesn't say anything though. 

"Is this where I ask what happened? And then wait patiently for you to tell me?" He says softly in her ear, while trailing his fingers up and down her spine, trying to soothe her. 

She chuckles lightly before sighing into his chest. Her eyes are still downcast as she plays with the buttons on his shirt. "Yeah, Oppa. That would be nice."

He nods and waits for her to continue.

A year into their relationship, Jongkook learnt that jumping straight into finding solutions for this beautiful woman when she gets upset only makes her want to hide her feelings so as not to bother him. The second year of their relationship taught him that sometimes just listening and being there with her.

And for Jihyo, it is far more important.

It has not been easy for Jongkook.

He had to learn to thumb down his strong impulses to make her feel better. He had struggled to sit with her difficult emotions, learnt not to jump into problem solving, but instead, allow her to let it out. 

He feels the beginnings of her letting go of the tight control she has over her emotions.

Her body starts to tremble and he tightens his arm around her waist. She shifts to hide her face in his collar and his white shirt grows damp.

Alarm rises in his chest, but he resists the urge to react. This is not about me, this is about Jihyo. 

Instead, he draws circles on her shoulder blade, kissing the side of her temple. 

And waits. 

"I met a child today, a new client. And midway through our session, she burst into tears." She chokes out. "The world is such a scary place for her, and as an adult, I couldn't chase away her demons." She shrugs her shoulders helplessly and bites back a sob. "I couldn't do anything, Oppa." Her shoulders heave and he slips his fingers into her hair. Her scalp feels hot and Jongkook worries that she will get a headache later. "I'm supposed to help her. But sometimes therapy is so slow and she's hurting badly right now and I can't do anything."

Her voice cracks and she stops talking, fully sobbing now.

He whispers nothings in her ears, continues to rub her shoulders. His heart aches for her.

Sometimes he wonders if he should stop her from working, or at least reduce her caseload. It's so emotionally draining, and while she's getting better at separating work from her personal feelings, she just feels too much. It still pains him every time when something gets to her - usually when she feels helpless or isn't doing enough.

(Actually, a little bit like how he's feeling right now.)

But the hospital CEO side of him also knows that it's also because she's so sensitive that she picks up things that other people don't, making her so great at hearing what is unsaid, really listening to the other person. He gives her another kiss on top of her forehead. 

Her tear-streaked face is all blotchy from crying. "You are there for her Jihyo-ya, it may not be everything. but it's a good start." 

She looks at him with tears still streaming down her face and he feels his heart breaking a little. She buries her face in the nook of his shoulder again. 

He can feel her trembling subsiding and senses that she's calming down. He guides her towards the couch and pulls her onto his lap. Wrapping his arms securely around her and closing his eyes, he rests his chin on her shoulder and waits.

She leans unto him and plays with his maroon bow tie. 

"You're right Oppa." She sniffles, not-so-discreetly wiping her snot on his collar.

He peers back down at her, "Did what I say help?"

"Yes, it did." She breaks into a cheeky smile, a stark contrast to her reddened cheeks and tear-stained face. "You're getting better at this Oppa."

And he lives for this. Knowing that he can be a place that she can go to when she is upset. Knowing that just being him is enough for her.

"I'm trying, Jihyo-ya."

"And you're doing really well."

He's not sure if this is not psychologist side of her praising him. But he'll take it anyhow. He presses a kiss against her forehead before cuddling her close again. "I love you."

"And I love you more."

 

 

For the first time in a while, Jihyo wakes up bright and early. Today, they are going out on an impromptu date at Seoul Grand Park.

She can hardly contain her excitement.

It’s been a long time since she’s been to the zoo and for an animal-lover like her, she cannot wait to meet them again. According to Jongkook, the hospital is organising an event for the children at the hospital as a treat for the upcoming children’s day and different routes have been planned. As the CEO, Jongkook was invited to test these routes, and she got to tag along. She bounds down the stairs to wait for Jongkook to pick her.

She’s dressed in a summery yellow sundress and carrying her navy blue straw hat in her hands. Her hair is let down in gentle waves and she has light make up on today. Last night, when they were saying their goodnights to each other, Jongkook had asked her to “dress up a little”, as organisers of the event will be taking some photos for a simple publicity leaflets that will be passed on to parents.

By now, most of the hospital staff know that they are dating. Surprisingly, the response when their relationship was revealed is largely positive (especially since they were caught making out at her office after-hours by a very embarrassed cleaner). And Jihyo is thankful for that. 

The doorbell chimes and she flies to her front door. A large bouquet of sunflowers greet her, along with a peck on the cheek. Her good-looking boyfriend is dressed in a pastel pink dress shirt, beige khakis and brown loafers. His hair is slicked back to r

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
aibhara #1
Chapter 31: Sweeet..
thank you so much for the beautiful ending and the awesome story authornim and for your hard work..
aibhara #2
Chapter 23: Well, i'm not really into BL..
its so unusual for kwang soo character, but now i know the reason why you make him a gay..
it's your first fic, but you already make a great plot..
its more interesting, cant wait to read how jihyo will solve this problem..
aibhara #3
Chapter 19: Finally!!!
thank you so much authornim..
i really enjoyed it, The hot kiss..
oops, kidding.. i mean your story.. kekeke..
aibhara #4
Chapter 10: Oh, my heart..
i dont think i could take it anymore..
why're you so cruel authornim?
aibhara #5
Chapter 3: Hi, authornim..
i dont know if you are still around..
but, i'm a new reader of your fic,..
you're damn right about the snooze function.. Kekeke
i like this story, its not boring so i keep want to read it..
BirdSuit
#6
Chapter 31: hehe what a journey for them in CTM. Thank you for writing this story!
BirdSuit
#7
Chapter 24: Oof that is a big mess to be standing in the middle in :(. Hope ji hyo will be okay ;_;
BirdSuit
#8
Chapter 13: oh! the sunflower painting is jong kook unresolved feeling of ji hyo? Gary got her favorite flower which was sunflower. Did jk design the room with her in mind?
spartaceclown #9
Chapter 5: omg, just found this hidden gem! where did i go all this timee :( thanks for this amazing story authornim, i haven't finished reading it yet i know it'd be amaziing hihi! <33
faaithhhhhh #10
Chapter 31: you write beautifully :) am looking forward to more spartace stories from you !!