He sits there with Bobby on his lap for half an hour before collecting himself enough to realise that she could step in any minute. 

"Hey, you good?"

Bobby's playing with his fingers, sniffling quietly. 

"No."

Hanbin wants to laugh at that, Bobby sounding like a pouting child. He doesn't. 

"Thought so but.. I think you-uh-we should get going."

He doesn't want to sound insensitive but knows he does. Now is not the time to think of saving his own skin but somehow that's all he can ever think about. 

Bobby raises his gaze and Hanbin wishes he didn't say a word. He looks so distraught, so tired and all he wants is to carry him to bed, his weight in his arms the best feeling. 

"She's gonna be here soon, right?"

Hanbin nods, their heads knocking together softly. Bobby snorts at that, grabbing his arm and pulling them both up. 

"I can go by myself."

Hanbin wants to protest but knows it's already settled. Knows he settled it with his own words. 

"I'm not a girl. Don't need a man to me home."

Bobby snorts at his own joke, even though it sounds like an effort.  Hanbin feels a sigh escape his lips as he hopes that whatever they're about to go through will be effortless instead.

"You sure you're not?"

Bobby smacks him then and Hanbin can't help but cackle. Joking is easy, comfortable, something they know how to do. He wishes they knew what to do with Jinhwan too.

And so this time he's the one to hug Bobby from the back, lips hovering over the junction of his neck and shoulder before kissing it delicately. He's somehow afraid to break him again, thinking of Bobby as his mothers' precious china.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow."

When he steps out seconds later, Hanbin makes sure to remember that Bobby's so much more than china, stronger than anyone he's ever met before. If anything, he's the china and Bobby's the glue that's been keeping him together all along. 

*

He spends the next fifteen minutes in what can only be described as utter shock. In shock about all of his secrets coming out in the open and him coming out in the open.

All of his lies are crumbling down and if his mother would ever- 

"Hanbin, where are you going?"

She's stepping in with Hanbyul, groceries in hand, when his frantic search for an umbrella gets stopped. 

"Uh, Jinhwans'? We have that literature thing."

She squints her eyes in doubt and Hanbin hopes that he doesn't tremble enough for her to notice. 

"I thought you were doing it with a girl from your class."

He almost drops the umbrella he just got a handle on.

"Yeah she umm-uh-changed projects? Nayeon got jealous of her a while back and then I got stuck with Jinhwan."

He hopes his smile doesn't look too off. That it doesn't convey how he's just told her a minimal amount of truth and most possibly ed up his peace of mind along with it. 

"Interesting. I wish you'd have told me sooner."

She's washing the apples now, no sign of her detecing his lies and the ounce of truth that came before them. 

"Yeah, sorry about that, I got distracted with Nayeon and forgot to tell."

The water stops for a second and so does his heart.

"Okay, but tell me next time, will you?"

He nods and realising she can't see, yells out a groggy 'yeah'. He's out the door in seconds, wondering whether he's going to see the light of day again or not. 

*

It feels like hours have gone by when he finally arrives at his doorstep, eyelashes fluttering under the weight of the raindrops.

He knocks three times before there's bustling and the door opens. Jinhwan looks at him like he's murdered his entire family and Hanbin feels his heart break in seconds.

"What do you want?"

He's closed off and Hanbin can't tell if he's angry at him, at Bobby or himself. 

"I want to talk about what happened."

Jinhwan snorts, making sure his siblings don't run out the door.

"Look, I thought I made it clear enough for Bobby but seems like he didn't get the memo. I don't want to see you nor talk to you right now, okay? I just don't."

Jinhwan crosses his arms and Hanbin shivers. It's the cold in his eyes more than the cold outside that makes him do it. 

"But I need to explain-"

Jinhwan stops him abruptly and Hanbin's sure he'd yell if the kids weren't around.

"You don't need to explain anything to me Hanbin. Hearing it once was enough for me."

Hanbin feels his fingers itch with the urge  to grab him and tell him how sorry he is. He just stands there instead, silence filling the space between them that never should have existed in the first place. 

"I just want you to know that I didn't mean to hurt you. I really didn't."

He's too much of a coward to look him in the eye when he says it. Jinhwan doesn't either, when he finally looks up. 

"But you did."

And he closes the door in front of him, making Hanbin finally realise that his life is truly about something that actually happened. And it doesn't feel half as good as he'd have liked it to. 

*

"What's up with you today?"

Jeongyeon looks happy as always, hair tucked behind her pierced ears and eyes sparkling with joy. 

Hanbin knows he's the exact opposite. 

"Nothing, just had a bad day."

They finish their physics soon enough and Jeongyeon helps herself to another cup of apple and cinnamon tea. Hanbin thinks of all the times Bobby reeked of it while around her and squirms. 

"You sure it's nothing?"

She wants to ask more but doesn't. Hanbin is thankful for it. Thankful that he can ignore the truth while around her at least for another day. 

"Yeah I just uh-had a fight with a friend."

Jeongyeon seems to think it's Bobby right away, perking up in her seat and looking at him with sympathy. Hanbin holds in a groan, it's the last thing he needs right now. 

"With Jinhwan."

She seems puzzled at that, wondering what could've possibly gone wrong. Hanbin wishes he had the audacity to wonder instead of the knowledge of how he hurt him. 

"What happened?"

He's ready to tell her when her eyes stay on him for longer than a minute. When her hands reach for his and warm up his tired body. 

"It's..complicated."

Jeongyeon settles down then and Hanbin wonders how come he didn't. There's nothing to lose anymore and she'd understand, of course she would. But when he sees a glimpse of her, standing near the kitchen entrance with her smartphone in one hand and a cigarette in the other, he knows just why. 

*

Bobby texts him later that night and Hanbin swallows the urge to run to him. 

'i cant sleep w/o you'

'Neither can I.X'

Their group chat stays quieter than ever. 

*

"So Jinhwan still isn't talking to you?"

They walk to school together on Monday, Hanbin feeling happy that Sunday's finally over, it having been the hardest day he's ever had to go through. Yet.

"Nope. Any luck?"

Hanbin shakes his head in defeat, phone in hand showing Bobby all the texts he's sent him and the cobwebs in his inbox.

"He really is mad, is he?"

Bobby looks sad again but tries his best to hide it. Hanbin would like to tell him he knows him better but doesn't poke the wound.

"Yeah. But it'll get better and besides he can't ignore us in school, right?"

Hanbin tries to find a silver lining. Tries to hope that Jinhwan hasn't spread rumors about them to the entire faculty already.

He knows that Donghyuk isn't like that and he knows Jinhwan isn't either but the ominous gut feeling won't leave him alone for even a second. 

"You don't know him like I do though. If he's got a grudge against someone, he can go for years without talking to them."

Hanbin takes it as an obsticale on his search for a silver lining. He won't stop looking for it though. 

They stand alone in front the gates as the bell rings and Hanbin feels an urgent need to kiss him. Instead he takes the fleeting moment to rub his shoulders, hands sliding down his body to his waist, grabbing him into a tight hug. Bobby melts into the touch without any hesitation, Hanbins' arms wrapping around him as he leans in for a whisper. 

"We'll fix this. Don't worry."

And when they break apart Hanbin realises that he might be glued back together but Bobby isn't. He makes it his mission to do so.

*

"Hey, did something happen?"

Donghyuk's walking with him to their usual table, eyeing Jinhwan who's sitting down far away from them. 

"I guess so yeah."

Donghyuks' eyebrows raise to the sky and Hanbin really doesn't want to talk about it again. He guesses he just has to when Donghyuk keeps egging him on with his ruthless stares. 

"Bobby told Jinhwan about us and he freaked out."

Donghyuk stumbles, the lunch tray in his hands almost falling. Hanbin wants to laugh at how much it reminds him of himself. 

"Really??"

Donghyuk's at a loss for words and Hanbin hates how his dramatic reaction makes it all seem so much more real. 

"Yeah. He got upset that we uh..hung out with you instead of him and then Bobby had to tell him and Jinhwan pretty much sent him to hell and when I tried-"

"He told you the same."

Donghyuk pats his shoulder, tray in hand still trembling. Hanbin holds in a sigh. 

"Yeah." 

They're almost at the table, Junhoe and Yunhyeong looking over at Jinhwan and whispering loudly. Hanbin wouldn't even call it whispering but he thinks that's what they're aiming for.

"You have to clear this up." 

Hanbin sighs again, the grip he has on his own tray tightening with every word he says. 

"I know. We both know. But Jinhwan's stubborn and he probably just needs time."

Donghyuk grabs his elbow before he can sit down, making him think of Bobby who's now walking towards them, looking like a living corpse. Hanbin's heart sinks to his stomach.

"If there's anything I can do, please tell me alright. I want to solve this mess as much as you do."

Hanbin feels himself smile and wonders when Donghyuk became his favorite person in the world. 

"Thank you."

*

"So what the happened?"

Junhoe's slurping loudly on Yunhyeongs' smoothie, the other too wrapped up in their conversation to notice. 

"We had a fight."

Bobby's sitting down, hand on Hanbins' thigh immediately. He tries to comfort him with a touch of his fingers on his hip. Bobby relaxes into it and Hanbin wishes he could do more than that. 

"Well it must've been a huge ing fight cause he isn't even looking towards us. He hasn't answered my texts in two days!"

Junhoe looks sadder than them and Hanbin wonders if he's finally realising that Jinhwan isn't just his buddy. That what he feels for him is like nothing he's ever felt for a friend before. That what happened between them years ago was a lovers' quarrel and not just Jinhwan being moody. He thinks he might be mistaken though. 

Bobby raises his gaze at Junhoe's incredulous tone, hurt that Jinhwan's opted to ignore all of them because of what he did. Hanbin squeezes his side but all it does is make him sigh. 

"I'm sorry he isn't talking to you. I'm trying to get through to him but you know him. When you had a fight he stayed away for years."

Junhoe chokes on the smoothie and only then does Yunhyeong notice him slurping on it. He pats him on the back with a little too much force, hiding away his smirk at Junhoe's anguished face. 

"We didn't fight! We just.. grew apart. It was completely different. Besides it's not like we fought because of a girl."

Junhoe's his fingers clean from his chicken and Hanbin wonders if it drives Jinhwan just as crazy as Bobby drives him. 

"We didn't either?"

Bobby slurps on his soup, averting his gaze again. 

"Wait, why did you fight then?"

Yunhyeong's sitting on the edge of his seat, Donghyuk looking at him like an angry mother, trying to push him further away before his uniform  could stain from the greasy meat.

Bobby gulps loud enough for him to hear and Hanbin really wishes he could soothe him with his kisses. Help him take his mind off of the way he left Jinhwan in pieces. 

"Because of Hanbin."

His head darts up immediately. Junhoe and Yunhyeong look at him with quirked brows and all he can hear is Bobby's heavy breathing and the thundering of his own heartbeat.

"Because we-uh-we-"

He stops him before this can go any further. Before he has to be glued back together again. 

"Because we've been growing closer and Jinhwan feels left out."

It slips out easier than he'd expected. He's becoming accustomed to telling the truth lately but old habits die hard. 

"So that's it?"

Yunhyeong looks at them with suspicion and Junhoe with disbelief.

"Yeah. No offence June but you know Jinhwan loves me more than you and he's kinda getting bored with your constant talking."

The air seems to settle around them then, Bobby making jokes as usual and Junhoe grabbing chopsticks to poke him with, making Bobby leap up with a yelp and hide behind his back. 

Hanbin's sure he feels Bobby's heart beating wildly against him, trying to break through his rib cage and settle down next to his own.  And he tries his best to make room for it. 

*

He thinks the day couldn't get any worse until he sees Donghyuk coming out of the library and hurrying towards him after classes.

"What's up?"

He hopes it isn't about Jinhwan. He just can't take another agonizing thought about him. 

"I just uh-wanted to tell you something."

He stops in his tracks at Donghyuks' tone, at the way he keeps staring at him through his glasses with a look that he's never seen before. 

"What happened?"

Donghyuk lets out a shaky breath, worried smile forming on his face. Hanbin feels dread trickle down his spine in the form of goosebumps. Hopes that it isn't Jinhwan or worse, Bobby.

"Oh god, don't look so freaked out! I'm just nervous cause I shouldn't be out here in the first place. The drama club is quite needy. "

Hanbin doesn't feel the goosebumps subside just yet so he keeps listening, waiting for the turning point.

"But I- I heard some rumors."

He shivers knowing exactly what he's talking about. Knowing that he'll go through all of it again and again and again. 

"Let me guess..rumors about me and-"

"Bobby. Yeah."

He lets himself slump a bit, knowing that all it'll do is relax his body but not his mind. 

"What kind of rumors?"

Donghyuk rubs his shoulder in concern and Hanbin tries to straighten up again. Look as though he's been behaving and that nothing bad could ever come from this. 

Thoughts of blonde hair interrupt his inner motivational speech and he listens to what Donghyuk has to say. It isn't good. But not bad either. 

"Some chick from art class talked about how Nayeon is bragging about you. That she's the only girl you've ever gone straight for."

Hanbin doesn't expect that at all. 

"Nayeon?"

Donghyuk nods, looking just as confused as he is. 

"Yeah. And then she supposedly broke up with you cause she found out that you're uh-um-ing Bobby."

Hanbin feels the goosebumps spreading out all over his skin now, blood turning cold in his veins. 

"What the hell." 

Donghyuk winces. 

"I know. I kinda heard some rumors about you and Bobby before but those have always been the same you know. Whenever two guys are close people get suspicious but Bobby's straighter than anyone I've ever met-"

Donghyuk stops himself, an apologetic blush appearing on his cheeks. Hanbin lets out the weirdest laughter that startles even himself.

"-I mean he seems like the straightest guy ever so you know, those rumors died down. But this..Hanbin I think she's out to no good and I think people are starting to buy it."

The laughter doesn't die down, instead more of it bubbles up and Hanbin has a hard time swallowing all of it. It feels like everything he's ever hold his breath for. 

He remembers how Bobby kissed away his hiccups and how he couldn't stop laughing. How his cheeks burned from it and from Bobby's soft fingertips. Remembers how it felt like a bad omen and how it's suddenly turning out to be one. 

"Thanks for telling me I-I guess I'll go tell Bobby too."

Donghyuk looks at him sadly, his eyes filled with pity and it's the exact thing Hanbin's been trying to avoid for so long. Pity. He hates it. 

"It's..it definitely is a lot to bare right now but we've got you, don't we? And Yunhyeong and Junhoe. Even though they're a little slow at times."

Donghyuk laughs too then, pity almost gone from his crinkled eyes. 

"You definitely got me. And don't worry about this too much. I bet Jeongyeon can talk some sense into that girl."

Hanbin feels the dread weighing down on his shoulders but shrugs them anyway. It doesn't make it disappear.

"I hope so yeah."

He thinks of how he should've never gotten caught up in his own happiness. Shouldn't have ignored Nayeon and her ominous presence at the cinema. Shouldn't have let himself be happy. After all, happily ever afters are only meant for princes and princesses. Not for him. 

*

"Bin!"

He's leaving school, mind whirling about everything that's happened when Bobby catches up with him. The relief that floods over him is stronger than the torrent they first kissed in. 

"Jesus, you look like . Jinhwan again?"

Bobby's own face turns sour at that and Hanbin wishes he could take away his pain more than his own. 

"No uh, another thing."

Bobby grabs his arm and entwines their fingers. Hanbin subtly lets go, hoping he wouldn't notice. Of course he does.

"What's wrong?"

Hanbin looks at his fingers and feels the cold between them. He wants to cry more than he ever has before. 

"Donghyuk told me about a rumor and it's-Bobby everything's going to ."

He wants to laugh at that and does so when Bobby looks more confused than ever.

"Stop laughing and tell me what happened."

Hanbin tries his best to stop and he ends up telling him while they're sitting in Bobby's living room, his tears covering Bobby's neck this time around. 

"It's just a rumor, Bin. Nayeon can talk all she wants but no one will listen."

Hanbin raises his head from Bobby's firm chest, trying to calm himself down and keep himself from spilling everything. From letting the dam fall. 

"I know it's just-I-This reminds me too much of what happened a few years ago and Bobby I-I know where this is going. It's not going to end well. None of this is."

Bobby shushes him with his lips on his cheek and Hanbin hopes his tears taste like raindrops instead of the dread that's been forming inside him.

"What happened in your past then?"

His voice is quiet and Hanbin hates how he sounds so careful when asking about this. How he's scared Bobby off. 

"I-"

Before he can answer Bobby kisses him, lips tasting of salt and Hanbin can't help but want to chase it forever. 

"It's okay if you don't wanna talk. But just know that this time around it has to end differently. Even if it does go bad I promise you, we'll make it home."

Hanbin snorts as Bobby's eyes widen.

"When did you get so deep?"

Bobby pushes him over at that, climbing on top of him for countless amount of kisses, pinning his arms to the couch before asking again. 

"But do you want to talk about it?"

Hanbin takes a minute to think. There's nothing much to lose anymore so he does tell. Just a little bit. The truth that's spilling out of him tasting like venom instead of dread. 

"I-About three years ago when I was living in Donghae..I kind of fell in love."

Bobby snorts this time and Hanbin quirks his brow, feeling vulnerable enough already. 

"Oh ! Don't start crying again , I'm just.. you kind of fell in love?"

Hanbin tries to wiggle his hands free to smack him but can't find the will to do so. Bobby seems too smug so instead of kissing him back when he leans down, he bites his lip. The other pushes in more firmly then and Hanbin forgets what he was even talking about when they pull apart.

"Oh yeah uh-so I fell in love right. And I thought they fell in love back. So I-told them. It took all of me to do it. But I was so incredibly sure they were in love back. And then a day later my phone blew up with nasty messages from our entire school. He told.."

Hanbin swallows the lump in his throat but can't will away his tears. Bobby's grip on his arms loosens and tightens, just as his chest keeps heaving out breaths that seem too uneven. Hanbin can't look him in the eye no matter how hard he tries.

"He told me that I'm disgusting and that he'd never look at me that way before beating me up with his friends." 

He closes his eyes before continuing. 

"He-I thought it'd stop some time you know? But it never did. Ever. It kept going. I came to school and people made fun of me, guys kept beating me up and girls kept egging them on. Before that there were rumors about me but no one believed them, not even the guy. And then when I made my grand move.. he knew and the whole school knew. My mom found out after talking to my principal and asking why I always came home with black eyes. And then she-she-"

He can't continue on. 

Bobby keeps silent as Hanbin cries the rest of the day in his arms, whispering sweet nothings into his ear without asking anything else.

Hanbin has never felt as thankful as he does at that moment. 

*

When Wednesday comes by Hanbin isn't sure how he's still holding on. Things have cooled down enough that he's gotten a grip on his emotions and hasn't cried on Bobby's shoulder for a day already. He calls it a success. 

Jinhwan is still ignoring them during lunch and Junhoe looks miserable. Hanbin echoes his emotions. 

"Listen, could you fix whatever happened between you and Jinhwan? I'm getting tired of him ignoring us. I've been through his house like 7 times already and he never even answers the door!"

Yunhyeong pats his shoulder as Junhoe tries to cool down, cheeks red from the way his voice rose. 

He gulps simultaneously with Bobby. 

"It's complicated Junhoe. We're trying to work on it, okay?"

Junhoe snarls at Bobby, startling all of them but himself the most. 

"I get it but try harder okay? Could you do that?"

Hanbin wants to yell at him, knowing how much Bobby's beating himself up over what happened. He keeps quiet instead. 

"Yeah."

Bobby looks down then and Hanbin grabs his hand, entwining their fingers without second thought. Hanbin hopes that the grip he has on Bobby's hand shows him how he isn't to blame for anything that happened. Bobby still seems to think that he is. 

*

PE goes badly and that's an understatement. Hanbin can see how much Jinhwan tries to fly the ball against his or Bobby's head and how he's trying to stand next to Junhoe at every opportunity he gets. 

He hopes they can talk about this sooner or later because the way he acts will definitely fuel the gossip mill and the more he thinks of it the more he feels like giving up. But giving up is not an option right now. 

"Did you see how hostile he was?"

He's staying behind to wait for Bobby and the rain. 

"Yeah you idiot, I fell two times, of course I saw. "

Bobby looks like he's been kicked when he says it and Hanbin grabs his hand.

"Hey, I'm just joking like always. You know I don't blame you for anything, right?"

Bobby nods but it looks hesitant. Hanbin wonders when their positions changed this drastically. 

"Seriously, Bobby, it would've happened sooner or later and thankfully Jinhwan heard it from you. Of course he's hurt but he'll get over it. I'll try and talk to him again sometime since he isn't as violent towards me as he is to you."

He laughs again and Bobby tries to laugh along. Hanbin kisses the side of his neck to get a real laugh out of him. It seems to work. 

"I know it would've happened but I just didn't want it to. And I let you down too."

Hanbin startles, turning towards him and making them stand.

"How?"

Bobby rolls his eyes but doesn't let go of his hand.

"Don't feign ignorance with me Bin. I know you didn't want me to tell anyone and I failed you."

The way Bobby looks at him makes his heart lurch. He's scared and humiliated but most of all nothing like himself. Smaller than the blades of grass they're standing on. 

"Listen, yeah I didn't want to tell but as I said earlier, it would've happened anyway. I'm glad we got it over with and I'm glad it was you not some rumor from Nayeon."

That makes Bobby sigh loudly. Hanbin looks around to see if anyone's still there and when he can't spot a single soul, he takes his face between his hands, making Bobby shiver with his touch. 

"God it's been so long since we've had time for ourselves."

Hanbin snorts, letting his thumbs trace his freckled cheekbones and those two invisible ones on his nose. 

"Yeah, it has."

He lets himself step closer, the feeling almost foreign, but when Bobby's hands go around his waist, sweaty bodies heating up with every touch of their skin, he knows that this is all he's ever meant to feel. 

"Like home."

Bobby smiles, letting his nose bump against his.

"What?"

Hanbin doesn't answer, kissing him instead. It feels intoxicating and almost like their first. This time it's more intense though, more familiar and more like home. Like everything he's meant to have, the thought making the butterflies in his stomach stir and his skin break out in goosebumps, this time because of Bobby's fingers. Because of the way the lines of his palms are already inked onto his rib cage and the way they burn him but it never hurts. 

Bobby's nose bumps against his when he tries to bite his lip but fails. 

"You know, I really wanted us to work out."

Bobby's lips are blue from the cold when he touches them and Hanbin feels mesmerized enough to almost miss what he's said.

"But we have worked out."

Bobby buries his nose in his neck, peppering his collarbone with kisses that don't even feel like ones. 

"Yeah but for how long?" 

Hanbin feels the goosebumps again but they're not good ones. When Bobby looks at him, eyes filled with sadness, Hanbin makes sure to remember something else. That no matter what he'll never let his home go. Ever. 

* 

Everyone's left the shower already when Bobby steps into his. 

"Shampoo?"

Hanbin turns around, not even able to hide his laughter at the look on Bobby's face. 

"God, you look like a dog in heat."

Bobby slaps him on the shoulder and Hanbin would yelp if it wouldn't give them unwanted attention. 

"But you like it."

Bobby steps closer then, hands going around him and lips on his neck, trying to finish what they started on the field earlier. 

"Yeah I do."

It takes him about a minute to go from a semi to a full on . He tries to remember all the reasons why they shouldn't do this but can't even think of a single one. 

"You taste so good." 

Bobby's hands are stuck on his lower back, roaming down to his . Hanbin swallows a moan that's been stuck in his throat forever. 

"What do I taste like then?"

Bobby removes his lips from his neck with a bop and Hanbin's sure there's a mark there. He wants to reprimand him for it but stops in his tracks when he sees Bobby's feral gaze and the way someone's moving towards their stall.

"Like-"

He manages to push Bobby away but not to hide the obvious state they're in. The stranger stops and Hanbin can tell who it is even if the steam and lust are blurring his vision. 

The last person on earth who needed to see them. Jinhwan, of course.

*

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to see you two slobbering all over each other again but I was hugely mistaken."

Jinhwan turns around immediately, storming off towards the lockers. Hanbin thinks he saw his cheeks redden and knows he's right when he catches a glimpse of his hurrying figure.

"Jinhwan, please wait!"

Bobby's running towards him, Hanbin thankfully having enough common sense to throw him a towel and wrap one around himself as well. It still does nothing to hide his obvious arousal. 

Jinhwan turns around when Bobby keeps insisting, snorting at their hand placement. 

"Why do I have to wait? It's obvious you two have some urgent business to take care of."

Bobby sighs and Hanbin takes the moment to peek around and see if anyone's come in there because of the commotion. Thankfully not. 

"Jinhwan, could you please just.. listen to us?"

Bobby looks desperate already and Hanbin tries to bury the urge to comfort him. 

Jinhwan glares at him while he thinks of his answer, long and hard. Glares at the way his neck's blossoming with purple lilacs by now, stocked upon each other the way Bobby meant them to be. His own little art piece smelling of jasmine and tasting of the chocolate on his breath. 

"What is there to listen?"

What he saw seems to aggravate him and he sighs, throwing his hands in the air, making Hanbins' heart ache. He sees all the pain he's ever felt there. All of the rejection he's gone through and all of the similarities between them. 

"Could you at least give me a chance?"

He steps in then, hand on Bobby's hip for a moment too long making Jinhwan turn his head away in sorrow. 

"I-"

He looks at him and Hanbin hopes he sees that they're no different at all. Hopes he hasn't blown his chance by now. 

"Okay."

Hanbin tries to let out the sigh he's been holding in but fails to do so. It's too early for that. Instead he whispers for Bobby to leave them alone for a second, seeing his boyfriend walk out with shoulders slumped. It makes his stomach twist unpleasantly and Hanbin hates it. 

He motions for Jinhwan to sit down before breathing in a lungful of stale air again. Jinhwan finally does sit and so does he, both of them squirming unpleasantly at the thought of actually talking about this. Finally talking about this. 

"So what do you want to tell me then?"

Jinhwans' hands are still crossed but he sounds small and looks even smaller than ever. Hanbin feels his throat go dry at that. 

"I just..wanted to talk about everything. Jinhwan I-I never meant to hurt you. I knew from the start that you and Bobby..that there was something different there."

Jinhwan doesn't answer but tenses up still. 

"And I knew that you hadn't done anything about it. And when I gradually fell for him I-I thought nothing could ever happen, you know? Since nothing ever happened between you two. I never-I never thought I'd have to have this talk with you cause we always seemed to be on the same boat."

He stares at the ground then, breathing turning ragged from all the truth he's been telling this week. 

"I looked at you and saw myself. Someone who's always in love with the one they can't get. I saw all the pain and all the.. suffering I went through.  I saw us as equals and I wanted to talk about our experiences all the time. I wanted to ask you if you've ever had your heart broken like I have, if you've ever had that lucky break and found someone who'd feel the same and not tear out your heart and stomp on it. Just wanted to know if I was finally not alone. But I was -I am so scared Jinhwan. I really am."

He doesn't dare to look at him, feeling his skin bloom in pink at all the weird words he's just said. At all the actual feelings he's put in them. 

"I've never told anyone about myself since..it always ended badly. I knew we were the same but I was still terrified that you'd rat me out anyway. I know that's a bad thing to say but I can't stop thinking about it. Even with Donghyuk I-I know he's the purest soul on this earth yet I still thought he'd tell everyone and then I'd be beate-"

Jinhwan stops him with a hand on his arm and Hanbin feels the dam fall. Feels his tears cool his burning skin. 

When he looks at him, Jinhwan doesn't say a word. Instead he nods, fingers still brushing against his knuckles, kissing the top of his head before he leaves. 

Hanbin's never felt this relieved in his life before. Even though he isn't sure if they're okay or not, he knows Jinhwan gets it and knows they will be. No matter what, some day, they will be. 

*

"So how did that go?"

Bobby's back in a few minutes, Hanbin thankfully not crying anymore. It all reminds him of them and how he cried for days. Of the people that never helped repair him but pulled him apart at the seams instead. 

"I don't know. He didn't say anything but he..I think we'll be okay. Not now but soon."

Bobby sits down, hand grabbing his and fingers brushing his knuckles like Jinhwans' did. Hanbin feels himself shiver at how different it feels. 

"How soon?"

Bobby's hand is soft on his chin and Hanbin feels like he's about to purr. The thought makes him giggle. Almost. 

"Very soon. At least I hope so."

Bobby pulls him up then, hugging the life out of him. 

"I guess we'll just have to wait."

Hanbin nods against his shoulder, letting his fingers drag down his back. Bobby seems to like it and Hanbin wonders if anyone else but Bobby could ever save him. He thinks not. 

*

He arrives home later than he thought he would, Bobby's kisses holding him hostage.

"Hanbin, I hope you don't mind me interrupting your studying but I just wanted to-"

She steps in when he's changing his shirt and Hanbin instinctively turns sides so she wouldn't see the lilac flowers on his neck and sense who made them. 

"Son, you should start studying, it's getting late and you have loads to do."

Hanbin nods, not even looking at her, afraid she'll ask about his red eyes.

"I just wanted to tell you we're leaving to Seoul on Saturday and we'll be back Monday morning."

Hanbin turns to her then, out of his daze.

"You're leaving so soon?"

She nods, looking at him like she wants to ask something else but doesn't. 

"Yes, your grandfather wants to take Hanbyul to the new amusement park, you know the one they keep talking about in the news?"

Hanbin nods and before he knows it it's already Friday and he'll have the whole weekend to himself. 

* 

"Hey."

Bobby's sitting by their table alone and Hanbin takes the moment before the others get there to tell him some good news for once.

"So I know things have been kinda ty lately but I think you'll like what I'm about to say next."

Bobby's piling the meat off of Hanbins' plate onto his own and he has to smack him so the other'd stop. Bobby laughs and then makes his assumptions. 

"Hmm.. you're finally willing to strip for me?"

Hanbin smacks him again this time and waits for Bobby's laughter to subside. He can't help but find his scrunched up face adorable. 

"Guess again."

Bobby hums a bit before he perks up. 

"You're willing to watch Kill Bill and it's sequel with me?"

Hanbin groans as Bobby laughs, hands all over him to calm himself down. It has a whole other effect on Hanbin though.

"No! I-umm.."

He feels himself blush and Bobby seems very interested again. 

"I have the house to myself this weekend. I thought you might want to stay over."

He doesn't have to say it out loud for Bobby to realise what he really means, his body betraying him again with a blush spreading down to his cheeks. Other cheeks. 

"I-"

Bobby gulps, looking at his lips before his own. He seems nervous now, fingers fidgeting with the material of his jeans. 

"I'd like that yeah. You sure though?"

Hanbin glances at him then and if Donghyuk weren't arriving with the guys he'd kiss him. 

"Yeah. Really sure."

He feels himself squirm as his voice turns husky, the thoughts he's had about what they could do suddenly ready to become much more than just thoughts. Bobby keeps staring at him, mouth wide open as Donghyuk coughs while sitting down, knowing exactly what they've been talking about. 

"So that's settled then."

Junhoe's diving into his food, quirking his brow in question.

"What is?"

Hanbin looks over at him, knowing that he looks dazed as heck. Bobby's no better, eyes glazed over and dimples pulling at his cheeks. 

"Hanbin is gonna get laid."

Donghyuk chokes on his salad, eyes widening as he looks over at them, realising what the conversation was about. 

Junhoe looks joyous instead, a bit baffled but still happy for them him. 

"Finally! Who's the lucky girl?"

Donghyuk interrupts then, gulping down enough soda that even Bobby's surprised. Probably trying to find some liquid courage even though that's not how it's done. Hanbin doesn't mind.

"You'll find out later."

Hanbin thinks that he definitely will and somehow the thought doesn't scare him one bit. Especially when he looks over at Bobby and knows that when he does tell, he doesn't have to do it alone. 

Jinhwan arrives outside a few minutes later, when Junhoe's already stopped the jokes, trying to steal Yunhyeongs' smoothie instead and looking at the empty spot beside him with longing. 

Hanbin's busy thinking about all the things Bobby could do to him, missing out on the fact that Jinhwans' turning towards them, this time walking past his lonely table.

He notices the collective gasp and turning his head up he gets caught in Jinhwans' eyes. Sees how the hurt's still there but how it's bit by bit turning into acceptance.

"What? Is there something wrong with my face?"

Jinhwan acts as if nothing's ever happened and Hanbin feels like he has to close Bobby's mouth with his hand, the other looking like he's starstruck. 

"Yeah, your face."

Junhoe snides but Hanbin can see how his eyes sparkle again and it makes him notice how they hadn't for a week already. 

Jinhwan smiles down at him, from where he's standing, hands going around his shoulders and Junhoe relaxes into the touch. Hanbin can physically feel things shift and he hopes that what they had at the lockers was a hello instead of a goodbye. 

And that what he'll have with Bobby tomorrow is going to be the first time and not the last. 

*********

So here it is!! Finally am I right? Anyway I wanted to apologize for the long wait, I really really wanted to write but I had my last exam which was literature and it had me pulling out my hair (literally stayed off social media for a week holy crap!) and then sadly a funeral.. followed up by one of my all time favorite bands whom I finally got to see live!! So I hope you forgive me and I really really hope you like this chapter!! And as it seems then the next chapter will be our boys' first time.. and a major turning point for the story!!

Hopefully I'll get to update in a few days already (or at the end of the week) cause I have a nice little loop hole in my schedule waiting to be filled by these aholes. 

Thanks so much If you've decided to stick with this even though its a monster and a time consuming one at that <3