She knows, she knows to herself that she didn’t like what’s happening, no not even a single bit. But she can’t do anything, it’s her emotions that we’re talking about here. Even though she knows to herself that she didn’t like to ignore the older girl she can’t do anything because she herself needs to protect her own self from getting hurt. And she knows, she knows that what she’s doing to the older girl now is not the best thing to do, but what can she do? She’s hurt and still hurting. Every time she sees the older girl her heart clench because every time she sees the older girl every word that have been said that day are coming back to her.

No more no less.

She closes her eyes when the said words replays inside her head once again. This is the reason why she doesn’t want to have any little bit interaction to the older girl. Because even just a mere eye contact can make her heart clench.

It’s not all what you think is right just because it is the way you see it.

She clench her fist tightly until her knuckles are now already turning white. She closes her eyes more tightly, trying to block the voice of the older girl inside her head but it seems like she can’t block it because it continues.

I and Yoona are friends, only friends.

“.” Yoona hiss and opens her eyes while her fist is stilling balling, knuckles are now already white.

“Woah woah, chill there unnie.” SinB said who is sitting on the opposite side of the table. Yoona looks at her and gives her an apologetic smile.

“What were you’re thinking again unnie?” SinB said before she stuff some food to .

The two of them are getting along with each other, after a couple of days that they spent to each other. SinB finds herself getting comfortable around Yoona and the latter feels the same way too. They laugh when there is funny thing that happened they stayed silent when the other one feels like she doesn’t want to talk. They found comfort to each other. And Yoona likes it this way. A perfect Dongsae and Unnie relationship to be exact.

“Nothing.” Yoona said before she leans back at her chair. SinB stared at her skeptically and Yoona knows the meaning of that stare. Yoona sighs before she leans forward at their table and let her rest her both elbows at the top of the table with her chin resting onto her palms.

“So?” SinB said and raised an eye brow to the older girl. Yoona release a sigh once again and she just remained silent. She closes her eyes once again, getting tired already on what she’s feeling, on what she’s doing, in everything. She’s getting tired in everything. SinB on the other hand remained silent too, not wanting to pressure her unnie to share her thoughts to her. In fact she just let Yoona closes her eyes because she knows that the older girl is thinking again. SinB release a sigh before she leans back at her chair looking at the older girl that is in front of her with sympathy. Even though Yoona didn’t said a thing to her she knows she can feel that the older girl is bothered about something. And she doesn’t want to invade the older girls’ privacy, so she just let Yoona sulks and just wait when the older girl is ready to tell her what’s keep bothering her. Yoona open her eyes and looks at SinB who give her a reassuring smile.

“It’s fine unnie, if you don’t feel like telling me. It’s okay. I don’t want to invade your privacy after all.” SinB said while beaming Yoona a genuine smile. Yoona smiles at her too and pats the younger girls’ head softly.

“Hey there SinB ah.” Yuri said who just came to their table and beam at SinB before she pats the younger girls’ head.

“Hi there Yuri unnie.” SinB greets her happily and waves at the older girl. Yuri chuckles at her and ruffles the girls’ hair.

“Aigoo, cute.” Yuri said and took a seat beside Yoona. Yoona scoff and throw SinB a mocking look SinB raise an eye brow to her and Yoona just rolled her eyes and turns to look at Yuri.

“Oh please Yul, stop praising her, she’s liking it.” Yoona said and she felt someone kicked her under the table and she groans in pain. Yuri chuckles at them before patting Yoona’s back. Yoona glared at SinB.

“But she really is cute, Yoong.” Yuri said and SinB beams even more. Yoona scoff once again and sticks her tongue out to SinB.

“You two seems getting along ha?” Yuri said

“Well I’m too kind, so yeh.” Yoona said and Yuri just rolled her eyes at her while SinB mimicked her, mocking her.

“Well I’m too kind, so yeh.” SinB said and sticks her tongue out to Yoona.

“Yah!” But SinB just continue to .

“Yah! I’m still older than you, you little piece of . Come here!” Yoona was about to stand but she froze to her spot when she heard a voice that spoke from her behind.

“Yeh, getting along with her already that fast.” Jessica said softly she is still standing at Yoona’s back and Yoona seems can’t move to her spot. Yes, maybe Jessica said it so soft, but Yoona knows that there is hidden harshness and something more that she can’t pinpoint. SinB and Yuri seems to freeze from their spot too but they both recovered after a few blinks. SinB beam to Jessica and greets the older girl.

“Hello, Jessica Sunbae nim.” SinB said and waves at Jessica just like what she did to Yuri a while ago, oblivious on what’s happening. Jessica stared at her for a second before she nods her head.

“Hello to you too.” Jessica just plainly said. Yuri gulps sensing a not so good atmosphere that is starting to build up around them and it seems Yoona is still frozen to her spot so she decided to clear . Jessica looks at her with an eye brow raise.

“I ahh.” Yuri said and release a nervous laugh.

“I’m g-going now. Hi to you Sica ah and ow SinB ah let me walk you to your next class, let’s go.” Without further ado Yuri stood up from her seat so SinB too. SinB bows at Jessica before she turn to still frozen Yoona.

“Unnie.” SinB said and waves a hand in front of Yoona. She flinch a bit and looks at SinB who is looking at her confused.

“I am going now to my next class.” SinB said and Yoona nods her head and was about to get up to walk SinB to her next class but only to be stopped by the younger girl.

“Yuri Unnie will walk me to my next class. Jessica Sunbae nim is here anyways so you should accompany her. Bye unnie see you soon.” SinB said before her and Yuri dash out from the cafeteria. Yoona closes her eyes and sighs.

Great just great. Damn you Yul. Arrgh Great now I am stuck with her all alone. All alone!

“Yoona ah” Jessica calls her softly before she took a seat in front of Yoona so they can talk face to face. Yoona took one last deep breathe before she open her eyes and looks at Jessica.

“Hmm?”

“Can we talk?” Jessica said searching for Yoona’s eyes but Yoona is looking everywhere but her. Yoona tense up a bit and she is now mentally panicking on what she would do.

. What to do? What to do?

“Talk?” Yoona shortly said and Jessica nods her head.

“Are we okay?”

“Didn’t you ask me that too before? And I said yes we’re fine.” Yoona said flatly and Jessica notice it. Her heart clench once again but she choose to brush it off.

“Are you….” Jessica’s words were cut off by Yoona.

“There’s nothing to talk about, I think. We’re fine and we’re good.” Yoona said and tries to smile at the older girl before she stood up from her seat.

“I’m going now, how about you?” Yoona said and makes some gestures to her hand. Jessica looks at her eyes for a couple of second before she shook her head knowing that Yoona just ask her that for a cover up but the truth is Yoona really want to get out from here, from her. And Jessica gets it, she knows, she feels it so she shook her head and force a smile. Yoona nods her head at her.

“Okay then, I’ll go now. See you.” Yoona said and turns her back to the older girl not waiting for the older girls’ reply.

“I miss you.” Jessica mumbles to herself when Yoona is now out at the cafeteria.

“Hey, you okay?” Tiffany took a seat beside Jessica who is sitting alone at the veranda. Jessica looks up at her and smile, a force one. And Tiffany felt pity to her friend but she herself too don’t know what to do. All she can do now is to be right there at the latter’s side right now because she knows Jessica needs someone now. The first few minutes was pure silence no one dares to break it not until Jessica does.

“Tiff.” Jessica calls her in almost a whisper. Tiffany immediately looks at her when she notice how Jessica calls her weakly, like as if she’s going to break down in any second.

“Jessie, I’m here.” Tiffany said and scoots closer to Jessica. Jessica looks down at the ground and stays silent for a few seconds and Tiffany just allowed her. Jessica looks at Tiffany and the latter felt her heart clench when she saw Jessica’s eyes are glistening, tears are ready to fall any seconds now. Tiffany felt sympathy to her friend.

“Tiff.” Jessica calls her once again but this time a lone tear manage to escape her eyes. Tiffany’s got surprised but she immediately pulls Jessica to her and gives the latter a comforting hug. She rubs her hands at Jessica’s back soothing the girl to calm down.

“Sssh, Jessie it’s okay. It’s okay, hmm? I’m here.” Tiffany said and Jessica wipes her tears away and tries her best not to cry. She clutches to Tiffany’s shirt tightly and she bit her lower lip to restrain herself to cry. She doesn’t want to cry hard in front of Tiffany, no, not yet, not now, not with her. So she closes her eyes tightly before she succeeds to swallow back her tears but she is still clutching tightly at Tiffany’s shirt.

“It’s okay Jessie. It’s okay.” And with that Jessica pulls away from the hug and Tiffany looks at her, eyes filled with worries and Jessica smiles at her.

“Thanks.” Jessica said and Tiffany smiles at her.

“Anytime Jessie.” Tiffany said and pats Jessica’s thighs softly.

Yoona is at the kitchen getting some drinks and foods when she was done rummaging the fridge she turns around and she almost drop the foods and her drinks that she’s been holding because when she turns around she as greeted by Taeyeon, who is standing so close at her.

“Aigoo unnie you scared me.” Yoona said and puts down the foods and the drinks that she got from the fridge.

“I almost got a heart attack unnie~~.” Yoona whines a little and Taeyeon just laugh at her.

“I’m sorry?” Taeyeon said and Yoona just rolled her eyes at her.

“Whatever unnie.” Yoona said and Taeyeon chuckles once more but soon enough her face turn to a serious one.

“Yoong?”

“Hmm?” Yoona just hum at her before she leans back at the kitchen counter.

“Can we talk?” Taeyeon said and Yoona looks at her.

“Are we not talking now unnie?” Yoona said and chuckles a bit. Taeyeon flicked a finger to her forehead and Yoona can’t do anything but to pout.

“Silly. A serious one.” Taeyeon said and she leans her back at the wall, they are now adjacent to each other. Yoona feels something that there is isn’t right that going to happen but she nods her head never the less.

“Okay then, what is it? About?” Yoona said and raise her eye brows together. Taeyeon looks at her for a couple of seconds and Yoona waits for her to answer. Taeyeon clears .

“Are you two okay?” Taeyeon said and Yoona furrowed her brows together in confusion.

“Two? Who’s two?” Yoona ask confused. And Taeyeon tries her hard not to roll her eyes at the younger girl.

“You and her.” Taeyeon said but still Yoona is looking at her with furrowed brows.

“Her? Who’s her?” Yoona said and the crease on her forehead is now getting more visible because she’s trying hard to think what Taeyeon is talking about.

“Aha! I knew it!” Taeyeon clasp her both hands together causing Yoona to jump in surprised. Yoona threw her a look and Taeyeon just give her a peace sign.

“You and Jessica, are not in good terms right?” Taeyeon ask even though she already knows the answer, but still she needs to know she needs to confirm it. Yoona’s lips form an ‘o’ shape.

“So she’s the one that you were talking about?” Yoona said and Taeyeon just nod.

“Well…” Yoona starts and shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly.

“I think we’re perfectly fine, why ask?” Yoona said and crossed her arms above her chest. It is now Taeyeon’s turn to furrow her eye brows together.

“I found it weird that you two….you know..” Taeyeon trails off and tries to make some gestures to Yoona but Yoona just only give her a confused look so Taeyeon just continue what she was saying before.

“You seems distant to her this past week and days, I don’t know if it is just me who see things differently or what?” Taeyeo said and shrugs. Yoona too just shrug her shoulders.

“Well, maybe it’s just really you who see things differently.” Yoona said but Taeyeon shook her head.

“But I’m sure. I am not.” Taeyeon said firmly this time. Yoona swallowed hard because Taeyeon switch on to her very serious mode and for Yoona it is not a good sign and there is no way to escape.

“What do you mean unnie?” Yoona said and Taeyeon looks at her for a couple of seconds.

“Tell me, did something happen between the two of you?” Taeyeon said and Yoona was quite taken aback at the sudden question but then she remembers what she heard that day. What Jessica said that day. She smiled bitterly at herself before she answers Taeyeon question.

“Between the two of us? There’s no between us unnie and no ‘us’.” Yoona said with so much emphasis at the word ‘us’. Taeyeon sighs.

“So that’s it. Tell me what happened really.” Taeyeon said with now softness on her voice. Yoona took a deep breathe before she shook her head.

“Nothing happened Unnie.” Yoona said and looks at Taeyeon. But Taeyeon knows better.

“You’re not good at it.” Taeyeon said and shook her head at Yoona.

“Ha?”

“You’re not good at lying Yoong. So now tell me.” Taeyeon said and Yoona sighs.

“You really know me ha?” Yoona said and looks down at the floor. She bits her lower lip and took a deep breathe.

“Well it’s just.” Yoona trails off still looking down at the floor.

“Just?” Taeyeon urge her to continue.

“I heard her talking to Tiffany unnie that one day, it’s not really my intention to listen but when I heard my name, it all started there…I..It’s ahhm… I heard her said that she didn’t like me the way I like her…” Yoona paused and chuckle, a bitter one.

“Maybe….maybe I just have my hope too high. That I assumed that she’s feeling the same way to me. That she likes me too…but yeh…truth hurts right? And I am hurting right now unnie….” Yoona paused a bit and bit her lower lip. Taeyeon remained silent and just let Yoona do all the talking now.

“I am. I am.” Yoona said weakly, her voice almost crack at the end. Taeyeon looks at her with full of sympathy.

“That’s why you’re doing this right? This whole distancing yourself to her thing right?” Taeyeon said and slowly walks towards to Yoona. Yoona just nods her head.

“But why Yoong?” Taeyeon said who is now standing in front of Yoona. Yoona looks up from floor to her.

“To stop the bleeding of course unnie…I…It’s…I am hurt.” Yoona said

“But you are hurting her also too Yoong.” Taeyeon states the fact.

“How? Why?”

“Because you’re avoiding her, we all notice that. Sica is not dumb for her not to feel and notice that Yoong. I know she feels and she notice it too that you are distancing and avoiding her.” Taeyeon said and Yoona just scoff.

“She’s not dumb?” Yoona said mockingly.

“But how can she not feel my feelings for her?”

“How can she not notice my feelings for her?”

“That I like her?”

“No, that I love her?”

“Why she didn’t feel that I love her more than just a friend?”

“How can you say that she’s not dumb unnie when she didn’t feel and notice my feelings for her?” Yoona continues to throw Taeyeon a lot of questions that left unanswered by the latter. Yoona took a deep breathe.

“Now, tell me. How can you say that she’s not dumb?” Yoona ask but it seems like Taeyeon can’t find the right answer. Yoona sighs and hang her head low.

“If there is a person who is hurting here….” Yoona said and looks at Taeyeon once again.

“…It’s me unnie, it’s me. No one else. No one.” Yoona said and a lone tear manage to escape her eyes. The tears that she kept holding on for so long. Taeyeon immediately pull Yoona for a hug.

“Ssssh, hush Yoong. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Taeyeon said while she rubs Yoona’s back up and down.

“No unnie don’t say sorry you didn’t do anything.” Yoona said and Taeyeon just remained silent. They both just stayed like that for a couple of seconds before Yoona pulls away from the hug.

“I’ll go now I’m gonna buy the foods and drinks for later unnie.” Yoona said and wipes her cheeks before she beam a small smile to Taeyeon.

“Okay then. Be careful, okay?” Taeyeon said and pats Yoona’s cheek softly. Yoona grins and nod.

“I will.” Yoona said and when she step out from the kitchen door she saw Jessica standing there not so far from the door. And it seems like the table have been turned now because now it’s Jessica’s turn to hear all of what Yoona have said. She felt guilty because she’s been hurting Yoona without her knowing and she felt like as if her heart is being taken away from her because the way Yoona looks at her right now is far away different with how Yoona looks at her before. Like as if she was the only person on earth but now, the way Yoona looks at her is like as if she didn’t know her anymore, and her eyes turns bit cold when looking at her. And Jessica got more hurt because when she was about to talk to her, Yoona cuts her off by simply saying.

“I bet you heard.” Yoona said flatly and coldly. She walks passed at Jessica and goes straight to Sooyoung who is laying comfortably at the couch. Jessica watch them how Yoona pushed Sooyoung off the couch.

“Come on we’re buying the foods and drinks for later.” She heard Yoona said and she saw Sooyoung immediately rose up from the couch when she heard the magic word ‘food’

“Okay okay. Come on buddy. Hurry up.” She heard Sooyoung said who is now already at the front door. The duo disappear from the front door without Yoona even dare to look back at Jessica. Jessica smiled sadly at herself.

It’s your fault for all of this happenings. Stupid Jessica!

She mentally cursed herself for being oh so careless that day and because of that everything between her and Yoona is now in a mess. But then Yoona’s words replays to her mind.

There’s no between us unnie and no ’us’

Jessica clench her jaw and grits her teeth.

“” She cursed underneath her breath.

“ you Jung Sooyeon.” Jessica cursed her own self before she makes her way upstairs to where her bedroom is.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Oh , please don't kill me, please spare my life once more please? Just a little pushed and everything will be okay once again. It's just that I like seeing them oh so looking like a mess hahahaha well what do you expect for me right? you guys won't call me evil or bad authornim for nothing right? hahahaha. So yeh I lost track of time and I didn't realize that it's already 4am in the morning. Goodnight. Hope you guys enjoy this torture hahahaha.

Annyeong~~