15 Months Later

                “Come on Tao, you can afford to be late.”

                “No Kris I can’t. I swear.”

                “But you’re the damn manager of the centre. You practically own it.”

                “Do you want me to set a bad example to my students?”

                “I’m sure you can be just an hour late.”

                “Kris no…oh Kris…” he moaned as my lips found his neck again and my arms wrapped around his waist. “If you do this then everyone will know why I’m late.”

                “What, because you couldn’t resist your husband?”

                “Shut up Kris.” He smacked my arm but I refused to let him go. These are the mornings I live for, wrapped in Tao’s arms, smelling the scent of lavender and honey from the bath gel we share (BECAUSE WE ARE ING MARRIED so don’t judge) and trying to get him to be late.

                “Kris…I have a big appointment today.”

                “Uh huh…”

                “Don’t you have a meeting with the BOD at 10?”

                “I thought I told you not to remind me about work so early in the morning.”

                “You know you have become increasingly lazy since we got married.” He teased, pushing me off him. “What happened to the days when you would get up before me, cook breakfast and rush out the door?”

                “That was before I realized how much fun this is.” I sighed and got off the bed. “At least let me join you in the shower.”

                “Sure.” he stood up and I trailed behind him. “But only to wash up.”

                “You know you have become increasingly not fun since we got married.”

                “I’m not the one with a libido of a 21-year-old man.”

                “I didn’t hear you complaining last night.”

                “Shut up Kris.”

                ‘Shut up Kris’ seems to be the most said sentence in our marriage. Not that I'm complaining.

***********************

                After all is said and done, I must admit that married life has been wonderful so far. A few months after I came back from LA last year, Tao and I finally tied the knot. We had a nice little ceremony in a church with maybe 50 of our closest friends and family. We all agreed that we would prefer it to be low key and intimate. Mum was upset because she wanted to call the President of South Korea to attend our wedding. All I can say is thank god I stopped her.

                Career-wise everything is coming along swimmingly. The first thing I did after I came back from LA was apologize to Jackson. “I’m sorry for being so rude to you Jackson.” I said. “You really did do a good job with the company while I was away.”

                “Thank you.” He smiled a little. “I’m glad you appreciate it.”

                “You know; my staff do look up to you quite a bit. You’re always welcomed back here.”

                “No thanks cuz. I did what I came here to do. This is your family business.”

                “Thanks.” I guess cousin Jackson wasn’t always such a douche. Sure he was a douche as a child but I suppose it’s not fair to hold his past mistakes against him. Credit should be given where it’s due, and Jackson did do a good job.

                I didn’t have a best man for my wedding. I actually contemplated cousin Jackson for a bit (almost) and in the end decided not to. I knew I would have given up this spot for Luhan if he was still around, but he isn’t so…screw it I guess.

                Luhan has called to say hi a few times now. Last I check he was in Maldives where he was staying near a shipping port. You could hear the ships horn blast out every 5 minutes on the phone.

                Luhan told me that Sehun had gotten weaker, and that their stays in each country had also gotten longer. Despite all of that Sehun’s graffiti work caught the attention of other artists on the internet. His work began trending and he was even featured in Buzzfeed. It was quite compelling to see shots of his work on the internet in places like Monte Carlo, Mexico, Shanghai, Vancouver and such. Thanks to media attention, Sehun started making more money from his website, but no one knew he was dying. It seemed like this was one secret he would take to his grave (literally).

                Of course, I knew the other one.

                Mum and Dad had moved out of Seoul and into a smaller house outside the busy city. Mum has an actual garden she can tend to now and Dad spends his days walking the dog, sipping tea in the yard and watching old sitcoms with Mum, the same way we used to when we were children. According to her Dad seems healthy now, but I know the fire he once had in him has extinguished. Losing his son knocked him over. Dad asked me many times how Luhan was doing, and what little I knew about him I told him.

                “Your brother is in love?”

                “Yes dad.” I told him about Sehun and watched my father’s pupils dilate. He bent his head down and shook them.

                “That boy. He has always been a dreamer.”

                “Are you mad, dad?”

                “How can I be when he’s not here?” he said. “I just hope this is worth it.”

                “I hope so too”

                Then one day (actually just a week ago on Sunday) I was at home with Tao just relaxing after a busy weekend when I heard a knock on the door. I got up to answer it and lo and behold. It was Luhan.

                “Luhan?!”

                “Luhan?!?!?! Luhan is that you?!”

                “Hey Tao. Hey Kris.”

                “Luhan!!!!” Tao and I pulled him in quickly and enveloped him in a tight hug. Tao must have crushed him too tightly because he kept gasping but I was too happy to see him.

                “Guys…I can’t breathe…”

                “Oh Luhan I haven’t seen you in ages!” Tao let him go and held his shoulders. “Holy you have gotten so skinny!”

                “I know. Everyone says that.”

                “I’ll get you some water and something to eat. Are you hungry?”

                “I am a little peckish.”

                “Don’t worry. We’ve got enough food to feed an army.” Tao ran to the kitchen while I looked back at Luhan. He had a backpack on his shoulder, was tanner than the last time I saw him and of course skinny. He looked at me and said. “I’m home.”

                The two words I have been waiting my whole life to hear. I pulled him into my arms one more time and cried a little. I could feel his tears on my shirt and I just refused to let him go.

********************

                Oh Sehun died in LA last December, just two months ago. The two of them had travelled to so many places during that time, but when Sehun was at his weakest, he said the last place he would like to be in was Los Angeles. “I guess it’s the art scene you know.” Luhan said. “He loved the freedom of the city and how amazing it feels to be surrounded by beauty and art.”

                “Are you sure he wasn’t talking about you?”

                “I asked.” Luhan chuckled. “Sehun just gave me a smirk. He does that often.”

                “I see.”

                After Sehun’s death, Luhan stayed in LA to oversee the funeral. He was cremated and his ashes were sprayed in the ocean. That was his last wish. “He didn’t struggle or anything you know.” Luhan said. “He just went to sleep.”

                “And never woke up.”

                “Yeah.” Luhan’s fingers ran along the rim of the cup. He went on to say that he continued to stay in LA, working at his old job. Then one day he found a copy of Sehun’s will, where he found that Sehun had secretly opened another account and stashed an amount of money there. Since the artist had no family, all of his belongings were transferred to Luhan, including the rights to his artwork, his painting material, his old studio and the money he made, which he later realized was enough to buy a one-way flight ticket back home to Seoul. In his will, Sehun had stated clearly that Luhan had to return to Seoul in order to claim the belongings willed to him and was later told to ‘stay’.

                “Sehun knew from day one your heart was in Seoul. You are not the kind to travel up and down and live like a nomad. He saved money for you to return home.”

                “Are you saying he knew from the beginning that I was to come back home?”

                “I’m saying that he wanted you to be happy. He wanted you to live a life without him.” I said. “You had to learn.”

                “The last few days were hard Kris.” He sighed. “Sehun couldn’t get out of bed. I fed him, washed and cleaned him. That was the easy part. The worst was watching him not being able to do anything, not being able to paint. He suffered during that part you know. He woke up trying to reach for his paintbrush and paint but he couldn’t even find the strength to lift his leg.”

                “He had difficulty breathing, and his cheeks were so sunken in he looked like a ghost.” I held Luhan’s hand tightly.

                “I’m so sorry.”

                “I could have stayed you know, but…if Sehun wanted me to come back home…”

                “He’s right you know.”

                “I know. I can’t believe he would be right even after he died.”

                This is such a wrong time for a joke but I laughed anyways. Luhan looked at me with tears in his eyes and he laughed as well.

                “Kris, I don’t want to be an imposition but…”

                “You are welcomed to stay here for as long as you need to.” I told him.

                “Thanks.”

                “Hey, what are brothers for anyways?”

*********************

                The next day, Luhan told me something I never thought I would live long enough to hear. He said he wanted to go see our parents.

                “Are you sure?”

                “I’m sure.”

                “What if they throw you out?”

                “At least I tried.”

                “Are you sure you didn’t knock your head against a board or something?”

                “No I’m fine.” He laughed. “Trust me.”

                “Okay, if you say so, but I’m not responsible for what they say or do to you.”

                “I know.”

                After breakfast I called my parents to say that I was coming. I didn’t tell them about Luhan because he didn’t want me to. We drove out for almost an hour and when Mum and Dad’s house came into vision, I could hear Luhan’s breathing stop for a bit. I got out of the car first, greeted warmly by Mum.

                “Hello Kris.” She kissed me. “So nice of you to stop by.”

                “Yeah mum.” I smiled. “Uhm, listen. There’s someone you need to see.”

                “Who?” She looked at me and then behind me at the person exiting from the car. She was confused at first, but then I saw the lines on her face reappear. Tears formed in her eyes and her body became limp.

                “Mum…”

                “Luhan...my baby…” she ran forward into Luhan’s arms and cried, hands reaching for his face, hair, arms, chest, whatever she could grab on. Luhan was entangled in Mum’s embrace and then he started to cry too.

                “My baby is home…my son…oh Luhan…” she sobbed and sobbed.

                Dad was sitting in the back, oblivious to everything. When I went to see him, he just smiled at me peacefully. “Hello son.”

                “Hi dad.”

                “Where’s your mother?”

                “Uh…she’s coming dad.” I patted his hand. “Dad, there’s somebody who wants to see you.”

                “Hi dad.” Luhan came in, still holding Mum’s hand. Dad turned and stared at him blankly. Dad couldn’t recognise him anymore.

                “Dad,” Luhan bent down on his knees next to Dad. “It’s me. I’m home.” He took my father’s hand and felt it. “What happened to you, dad?” he started to tear up slowly. “What happened to you?”

                “Dad…” my father mumbled, still looking at Luhan blankly. His skinny fingers held Luhan’s and I knew what Luhan was thinking. How did he get so weak? How did he get so thin? What happened to the fierce man who walked tall and talked big? What happened to the man we wanted to grow up to become?

                “Daddy…daddy it’s me. Luhan.”

                “Luhan…”

                “Yes daddy.”

                “You’re my son.”

                “Yes daddy.”

                “My son…you’re my son.”

                “Yes daddy. I am your son.”

                “My…son…” Dad started crying, and then I started crying. Mum was already crying and Luhan cried even more. Dad wiped his tears with his weak hand, trying to hold Luhan close with the other. “My son is home.”

                “Yes daddy. I’m home. I’m sorry daddy.”

**************************

                To be honest ever since Luhan came home, I spent even more sleepless nights than when he disappeared. I was haunted by the fact that Sehun was gone. His secret ran through my brain all night, and I found myself wondering where he was or what it was like when he had to die. Did he know when exactly he was going to die? How badly did he suffer? Mental images like him struggling to reach for his brush and pen plagued me.

                How terrible it must be to have the one thing you were born to do, be taken away from you.

                How is my brother coping? Outwardly he looked alright but is he dying inside? Is he spending sleepless nights like me? Did he regret any of his decisions?

                Luhan never went back to the office. I offered him but Luhan said he was no longer interested. He went to see Minseok and agreed to help him with his coffee shop business. The coffee shop has open mic every Friday and of course, Luhan being Luhan, could never resist a chance to sing. He’s already practicing for his first performance, Green Nocturne by Nell.

I didn’t know back then, that’s why I was careless
And that’s why it was more beautiful
Love is about doing it until you break
And I don’t think I was really scared of that

                Of course he wasn’t.

                Today I decided to do Sehun one last favour. He had implored me when I saw him the first time but then I didn’t realize why. He begged me to keep it a secret and said it must not be revealed until he died.

                I held Luhan’s hand as I blindfolded him. We walked down the street together and I made sure he didn’t knock into anyone.

                “Where are we going?”

                “Somewhere.”

                “Where are we now?”

                “On the road. Out in the open.”

                “Tell me what’s going on.”

                “I can’t.”

                “Why?”

                “I promised Sehun.”

                “What? What kind of promises did you make with him?”

                “I’m not telling you.”

                “Oh come on.”

                I made Luhan stand still leaning against the wall while I moved the garbage bins out of the way. There was a huge banner advertising fried chicken so I took a knife to cut its bonds away. All I knew was the location of his secret, but I had no idea what laid under this banner.

                “Kris, where are we? Why does it smell?”

                “You’re standing next to a garbage bin.”

                “Eww….” He sniffed around as I cut the last of the banner’s bonds. I threw away that heavy thing in a corner and what laid before me took my breath away. I dropped my knife and stared at it.

                “Kris!!!!”

                …….

                “Kris what in heaven’s name is…” Luhan took off the blindfold himself and stared at what was before him. He walked towards me and stood next to me, eyes never leaving what laid before him.

                Under a dark night sky, stood a boy with his hands cupped, as if he was holding something. He had a soft angelic smile and he had his eyes closed with his head down. The stars twinkled above him and behind him was a landscape made of the sea at one end, the grasslands, forests and desert. He was dressed plainly in a white t-shirt and jeans, barefoot with no accessories. There were splashes of colour on his shirt, with some of them dragging all the way into the sky. The colours painted dark shy red, blue, orange, pink, yellow, you name it.

                The boy was a firework.

                “Oh my god…” Luhan breathed.

                This was it. Sehun’s last secret. He had painted a picture of Luhan in the very spot he first met him, behind a club in the shady parts of town next to all the garbage bins. I took a paintbrush from my bag and some paint.

                “What are you doing?”

                “A favour for Sehun. And you.” I dipped the brush in red paint and walked over. In the boy’s hands, I drew a heart.

                “You have his heart.” I told Luhan. “You always will.”

                Luhan stared at the painting, tears running down his cheek as he reached forward, feeling the brushstrokes. These were Sehun’s brushstrokes. Sehun’s last painting.

                I have to hand it to him. He did the one thing he set out to do, and he kept his promise.

                He did it.

                He drew my brother.

A/N: Most stories that deal with running away and wanderlust seem to end with the person staying away (at least most that I have read anyways) but as you may know by now I'm not a typical fanfic author. It's been clear from the beginning that the sense of wanderlust was not present in Luhan at all, and this act was fueled for love instead. I wanted to make sure Luhan came home because not every journey ends the way you want it to, so I tried hard to make it happen. Also a lot of fanfics focus on the romance between two lead characters, but here I wanted the focus to be brotherly love or sibling love in this case. It's such a strong kind of love that I feel is rather unrepresented in the world of fanfics. I have a little brother too and I love him to death, so writing this story has been a challenge for me in breaking my own boundaries in writing and trying something new. Thank you for reading this story and giving it such wonderful support. You don't know how much it means to me ^^

EPILOGUE NEXT!!!