14/9/15-Empty page of a newspaper

       The first time I met Sehun (like really met him, not while I was trying to get into a minor’s pants) I threw up in his bathroom. I really wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it so deep I could be part of the earth’s core and form fossil fuels a million years later. It was one of the most embarrassing things ever.

      PSA: I am not like this. No, honestly. I am not this embarrassing. I’m usually very smooth. I’m the fast-talking, smooth talking charmer people warn you about. I’m light with my touches and a killer smile. I have never stepped on anyone’s foot by accident (not anyone I’m trying to impress) and I don’t bore them. I don’t stutter, like EVER, and I certainly don’t ‘move too fast’. I’m not that bad of a person and it’s not my fault the girls say I’m charming.

      Point is, puking in someone’s bathroom after I had just met them, nearly had on a piece of their property, drooled all over their bedspread is NOT ME, but that kid who did all that, was somehow also me.

      I literally hung my head inside of his toilet bowl, face inches away from the awful stench and muck of my own vomit because I was so embarrassed. Please let me drown in my own vomit. Please please please oh Lord please…

      “Excuse me, Luhan?” Donghae knocked on the door. “Do you need help?”

      “No please. Leave me alone…” I was this close to sobbing. Please don’t let Sehun see me. Please don’t let him even look at me.

      “I don’t wanna interrupt you but your phone has been ringing for a while now. Do you have somewhere to be?”

      “!!” I got my head out fast and flushed the damned bowl. I splashed water all over my face and came out, water droplets dripping and my hair was sticking to my face. “I have to get to the office!! I forgot I have a business meeting!”

      I opened the door and looked up at the clock in front of me. “ I only have 30 minutes left! I need a taxi!”

      “Taxi? You’re never going to find one in this neighbourhood, they hardly roll by here.” Donghae explained.

      “Then I need a bus or something…train! Where’s the closest subway station?!”

      “If you need a fast ride, I have an idea.” Donghae smiled, he gave Sehun a look I didn’t notice, because I was too busy begging him.

      “Whatever it is I’ll take it! I need to be there in 25 minutes!!!”

      Apparently the ‘fast ride’ was on Sehun’s moped. “This is ridiculous! We’re never going to make it in time!” I yelled as loud as possible on the back of his moped. We were going at 50km per hour. Are you ing kidding me?

      “Not on the main road at least.” He smiled and took a sharp left turn. I nearly fell off the small red bike as he took an alley behind a row of convenience stores. We passed dumpsters and gas containers before coming out onto another road.

      “Where are we going?”

      “Your office is in Gangnam right? Just trust me.” He drove for a few more minutes and then took another small road. We drove through quiet alleys, back roads, scared a few cats and unsuspecting mother’s drying to dry their laundry. Sehun knew all the shortcuts to get to Gangnam. How was that even possible?

      I arrived at the office with 10 minutes left to spare. “Thank you so much. I have to go now.” I dumped the helmet in his hands as I rushed to the office.

      I didn’t think I was ever going to see Sehun again, because all I could think about was my work and how I was going to impress this new client of mine. After the meeting, Kris told me to go home and take a shower. Not that I blame him, because I do smell of booze and vomit. I was walking out of the building and I saw Sehun in the same position he dropped me in.

      “Sehun, what are you doing here?”

      “I don’t think I can leave without seeing you again.” He got off his moped and handed me a napkin with his number scribbled on it.

      “Call me.”

      “Okay.”

      He smiled at me and got back on his moped. We waved goodbye and I clutched that napkin tighter than anything else in this world. I had this big ridiculous smile on my face that even my driver knew something was up. He didn’t question though, nobody ever does.

      I talked to Minseok, who knew Donghae (duh he invited him) to see if he knew who Sehun was. “All I know is that he is an artist. I think Donghae mentioned that he is a graffiti artist of some sort.”

      “Did he mention how old he was or anything?”

      “He’s probably around our age or a little younger. Hardly likely to be older.”

      “Hey looks can be deceiving.”

      “Yeah, especially for someone who still looks 12.”

      “Shut up.” I rolled my eyes.

      “Why are you so interested in him anyways?”

      “He took me in after the chug challenge when I was drunk as and my best friend was nowhere around.” I sneered but he ignored me. “He even gave me a ride back to the office. I want to thank him for helping me out.”

      “You have his number?”

      “Yeah, on a napkin.”

     Minseok’s eyebrows slowly raised up and so did the corner of his lips. “Is he cute?”

      “He’s not bad.”

      “Not bad?”

      “Okay so he’s pretty darn handsome.” I feigned ignorance but that’s the problem with a best friend. They know when you’re lying.

      “Okay then. We’ll see how this goes.”

      “I just want to thank him. It’s not going anywhere.”

      “We’ll see about that.”

      I didn’t tell him about not being able to sleep that night. I didn’t tell him about me dying to call him but my ego wouldn’t allow it. I didn’t tell him about his beautiful, handsome face passing through my mind, and how impossible it was to get rid of.

     Minseok is my best friend, but some things are better left unsaid. You know, to avoid embarrassment.

      I finally did get the courage to call him, saying I would love to treat him to a meal to thank him for what he’s done. We set a date (like on a calendar and not a real date date) and the restaurant, which was this quaint café in Hongdae. I didn’t know about it until he set the venue, and for someone who is trendy and keeps up with the times, I couldn’t believe I missed this.

      One thing about Sehun I have always hated was just how he makes me feel so…uncool. Like honestly, I am cool. I’m a cool dude (or at least I like to think so) but every time I’m with Sehun I just feel like an idiot. When he came into the café, dressed in a simple grey shirt and torn blue jeans, I had no idea why my heart was palpitating so much. I had almost forgotten how gorgeous he was. Almost.

      There’s so much to this story that if I write on anymore I need a whole stack of white paper. The thing I remember most from that meal with him was how easy it was to talk to him, how his eyes glistened when he talked about art, and how he smiled at me.

      He does that now, and I still feel the same way I did when we first met. My heart still palpitates and my knees feel like jelly.

      Maybe he’s not trying to make me feel uncool. Maybe he’s just trying to make me be natural, to stop putting up fronts. I’m not a product made for selling, I’m a real, living breathing human with flaws and imperfections. My natural state is what I am meant to be in.

      Our first kiss was in his apartment. He was sitting in front of his easel, where his canvas laid blank before him. I was curled up on the couch, trying to watch a video on my phone. He came to the couch, and I scooted to make way for him.

      “I need inspiration.”

      “How can I help?”

      He pulled my arms (skinny ones, I have really pathetic arms) to get me upright. One arm on my legs and the other on my back, we kissed for the first time and it was the most shocking kiss I had ever gotten. I was used to kisses being hot, hard and intense with lots of tongue, but kissing Sehun was soft, gentle, understated, like kissing a gentle rose.

      “I want to paint our love.”

      “How?”

      “I don’t know yet. I think I need to kiss you more.”

      He didn’t even need to ask me twice. I wrapped both hands around his neck as we kissed again, this time a lot closer, a lot harder, but somehow no less intense. Through his kiss I felt his love, something I haven’t felt in a long time. There is no urge to unbuckle his pants or anything. I just wanted to kiss him.

      I just wanted to kiss him.

A/N: Okay, I am so bummed because EXO's final EXO'luxion stop is in Kuala Lumpur, where I am and I'm not going to see them. Tomorrow is the concert and some of my friends who are EXO fans are going. God I need something to do so that I don't keep checking my Twitter feed and feeling depressed TT

Those who can't see EXO in person raise your hands. Let's have a group hug. *hugs*

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