Before I left Minseok had actually given me one very important clue: Sehun’s bank account number. Luhan’s bank account has long been disabled (duh) so he must have survived using Sehun’s account.

                I refused to bank in any money until I saw him for myself and I even told Minseok that. He sighed a little and nodded his head. I wouldn’t know if he told Luhan or not, but I was hoping he did. I want Luhan to expect me, or even better, call me.

                Flying to Los Angeles was the easy part. Finding Luhan was definitely not easy. I had no clue to any parcel locker, and the stuff he had in Australia supposedly pointed to New Zealand, but seeing as how he wasn’t there that meant that it was irrelevant. I had to start all over again, from scratch.

                One clue I did have was the hospital Luhan was admitted in. Cedars-Sinai Hospital was a very large hospital, so I tried to inquire about a patient named Luhan. Strangely, there was no record.

                “Are you sure? According to my sources he was admitted here.”

                “I’m sorry sir but I can’t find this person you mentioned.”

                Okay, if Luhan was not admitted? Then who was?

                “Uhm, how about Oh Sehun?”

                After a few minutes, the receptionist looked up at me from her files. “Oh yeah, he was here. Admitted in general ward for a day before being moved to ICU for 5 days.”

                “ICU?” Intensive care unit?

                “Yes, he came in because he fainted and then the doctors moved him up.”

                “Oh.” I tapped my fingers against the counter. “Uhm…I’d like to cover his bill.”

                “Really sir?” she looked at me with wide eyes.

                “Really.” I pulled out my card and signed the form. Sehun’s medical expenses must not be low. If he had to ask Minseok for money, he must be desperate. He could have come to me, but that kid has too much pride. He always had too much pride. I don’t know why I agreed to pay Sehun’s bill, but I just felt like I needed to. I pictured Luhan counting the bills in his hand, putting them in a jar marked MEDICAL BILLS and working tirelessly to earn the money.

                “Er, if it’s not too much trouble, would you mind telling me where Oh Sehun lived?”

                “Of course not.” She scribbled the address down for me and I thanked her profusely. The address pointed me to Downtown LA, so I quickly grabbed a cab and made my way down.

                The apartment block on that address was not as bad as it looked. It still had it’s original brick layout and the street itself seemed rather quiet. I climbed up to the third floor and stood in front of their apartment door, my hand froze there like it was made of ice. What if Luhan was inside? If he was, what should I say?

                Or worse, what if it was Sehun? Should I say ‘hello how are you doing? I just came back from paying your damn medical expenses just because you stole my brother away from me and caused me eternal grief so you’ or just smash him in the face?

                I was so tempted to just run, but before I could the sound of another door opening next door startled me. A man was coming out and he looked at me. I looked at him and it felt like the opening of a poorly scripted TV show.

                “Hello.” He said, his voice had a hint of a Korean accent.

                “Hello.” I sputtered out. My voice was shaking.

                “Are you looking for Luhan and Sehun?”

                “Yeah. I am Luhan’s brother.”

                “Ah, you must be Kris.” He smiled widely, his perfect pearly whites revealed. “I am Jongin, the landlord.” he shook my hand and then I noticed how terribly handsome he was. I smiled back politely. “Unfortunately your brother is not in, but I can take you inside.”

                “Oh well that would be nice.” He pulled out his keys and opened the door. I held a breath and stepped inside. It was a one-bedroom apartment with very simple furnishing. There was a very old couch with tattered ends on one side and a small kitchen on the other side. It was twice the size of the Tokyo apartment but still rather bare.

                “How long has my brother been here?”

                “Almost a month.”

                “A month?” Luhan never stayed in a place that long. Was he planning to settle longer?

                “He has told me all sort of stories about you.” Jongin said. “He told me what a tall, handsome gentleman you are.”

                “Well I…”

                “If you’re free tonight, you should definitely come down to the Midnight.”

                “What’s that?”

                “It’s a club.” He handed me his card. “I’ll give you a free lapdance.”

                “Uhm, thanks but I’m engaged.”

                “Too bad. You need someone for your bachelor party?”

                “Uhm…I live in South Korea though.”

                “That’s alright I’ve got family in Korea.” Jongin laughed.

                “I’ll think about it.”

                “Take your time.” He patted my back. “Make yourself at home.”

                “I won’t stay long. I just…” the words died on the tip of my tongue. I looked around the room and noticed how weird everything was. How could my brother live here? This had no essence of him. There was nothing about this room that symbolized him. Here I am, finally in the same ing district as my brother and I’m in the room he slept in and yet I couldn’t recognize him.

                It’s like he wasn’t my brother anymore.

                “That’s alright. Luhan and Sehun don’t usually come back until much later. Just lock the door on your way out.” He closed the door behind him and I could feel the pressure of the room caving in. It was so terribly uncomfortable. I went out to the windows and opened some of them, attempting to not feel so suffocated.

                I sank myself down on the very old couch and sighed. Maybe I should just stay here until Luhan returned. But what do I do then? What do I say? What do I do? What if I lose control? What if he changes? What if…

                Amongst all the what ifs I had in my head, my eye caught sight of an envelope on the table next to me. I picked it up and say the words To my brother scribbled on it. My fingers shook in fear/nervousness as I pulled the letter from within.

Dear Kris,

                If you found this letter, congratulations. You are within my reach.  I won’t know where you are when you find this, but if you do, that means you pursued me and you didn’t give up.

                I have to apologize for what I did. I’m so sorry for running away and not telling you. Running away a night before our huge promotion? Yeah that was a mega move and I’m sorry. I know Mum and Dad must be reeling and Mum is going into that ‘what have I done with my life’ stage while you run the company solo. I’m so sorry for breaking your hearts, for making you realize the son and the brother you thought you had was no longer there.

                If you read this then you must know about Sehun. You must know how we met, and you must know how we feel about each other. Yes, I ran away to be with him. Yes, I love him. Don’t ask me how I know. Watch my actions instead. I just risked everything I ever had to be with him.

                I’m sorry again Kris but I can’t come back. I just can’t. Not after all the pain I have unleashed on you. How could I still have the guts to return? And please don’t bother finding me. I’m not worth wasting your time on.

                Please know that I am safe and sound. Kris, you are the best brother I could ever afford to have and once again, I’m sorry. I don’t expect your forgiveness or your understanding, because I don’t think I deserve it, but please know that I love you.

                The search ends now Kris. Congratulations on completing your mission.

Sincerely,

Luhan

                I crumpled the letter and threw it in a corner. I picked it back up and tore it to shreds with tears running down my face like an ugly child. “How could you ing do this to me?!?!? Congratulations on completing the mission?!?!?!?!” I screamed as the letter shreds flew all around me. I was a sobbing mess by this time and I could hardly hold myself.

                How could Luhan do this to me? How? How could he just write a ing letter, saying that he never wants to be found or seen? Wasting my time? Wasting my time for finding him? He’s my ing brother!!!!!!!! Who else would I waste time on?!?!!?!!?

                He said he was sorry. Did he think sorry could rescue everything? Like sorry was some magic bandage that could heal all pain. What the actual ?

                I can’t believe my brother doesn’t want to see me. I galloped the world looking for him, paid Sehun’s ing medical bills, watched my father had a heart attack all for him. All for my brother. And he wouldn’t see me. After all of that, I can’t even see his face.

                Why oh why is the world so cruel to me. I just want to see my brother. Why?

                Why?

                Why?

                WHY?

                I felt like everything was a lie. My brother lied to me my whole life. He lied to get money from me. I was so angry and sad and disappointed and everything that I screamed and thrashed around the room. The vase in the apartment fell off and I cried even harder.

                After a few minutes of losing control, I curled myself up in a small ball and wept silently. My brother, my best friend, my other half, my childhood hero was not there. He disappeared.

                I had never felt so abandoned before.

*****************

                Several minutes of self-pity later, I picked myself up to leave the room. I didn’t bother picking up after me. They should come back to find a missing letter and a room that looks like a tornado went through it. them.

                I walked down the street, feeling the world’s weight on my shoulders as I called for a cab. It was a quiet street and I thought no one was around. When I turned, I saw someone walking up towards me. He was thin and his hair now jet black. I looked at him and called his name.

                “Luhan.”

                Luhan stopped walking and saw me. His eyes were tired and empty, his fingers shook heavily and his knees buckled under his dirty clothes. With a choked voice, he called “Kris.”

                There was no emotional reunion or hug and I didn’t bash his face in either. All I could think about was why the hell did Luhan get so thin.

*********************

                “Eat up.”

                “I can’t afford all this food.” Luhan muttered when I pushed the plate of tacos before him.

                “I’m paying, so just eat.”

                He looked at me for a while and then back at the food. He picked up the first taco and bit into it. By the second bite he was wolfing it down like a starved animal. Luhan had lost all fat from his face. His cheekbones were much more prominent, eyes sunken in and his wrist looked like twigs. His clothes were dusty and they looked like they came from the bargain bin (I have a feeling they did). The Luhan I used to know was handsome, well fed and very well dressed. How did he go from Armani tuxedoes to second hand torn T-shirts?

                “I’ll get some for Sehun too, so don’t worry about saving food for him.” I said.

                “Really?”

                “Yeah. Just eat all you want. Then we’re going grocery shopping and clothes shopping.”

                “Kris I…” he gulped his coleslaw. “You shouldn’t be doing this.”

                “Damn right I shouldn’t.” I spat out. “I should be at home, working in my office, asking Tao what kind of flowers he wants for the reception and not half way across the globe taking my skinny brother shopping.”

                “Reception? Did you and Tao get engaged?” his eyes widen as I rolled mine. “Oh my god Kris I’m so happy for you!”

                “Did you know Dad had a heart attack?”

                “I know.” He sunk down in his seat again. “Minseok told me.”

                “You had the time to call Minseok but not me? Since when did best friend overrule brother?”

                “He was the only person who knew the truth.”

                “Then you better ing tell me what it is now.” I leaned forward. “What is going on? Why are you doing this? All for love? Are you insane?!”

                “You wouldn’t understand.”

                “How do you know that? I have known you all my life what makes you think I won’t understand. Minseok told me you were in the hospital. I went to pay the bills only to find out it was Sehun in hospital, not you. So why did you lie to Minseok or why did you get Minseok to lie to me?”

                “I didn’t ask Minseok to do anything. He went to you on his own will. I didn’t ask him to.”

                “Okay fine, so what the am I paying? Why are you hopping from country to country, going on some painting expedition and rushing as if the cat is on your tail? It’s not like…” I paused when a thought crossed through my head. I looked at Luhan for an answer and he looked back at me.

                His eyes looked down and tears started to form. His shaky hands reached for mine and it was cold to touch. My voice died in my throat when a wave of realization hit me.

                “Oh my god Luhan…”

                “Kris…”

                “Oh my god….”

                “Kris…” by now Luhan’s tears started to fall.

                “He’s dying, isn’t he? Sehun is dying.”

A/N: DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN The bubble has been burst and the truth has been revealed. This story is also coming to and end very soon, in less than 6 chapters I believe. Thank you once again to all who have supported me, it means the world to me.

On another note I have been hooked onto SM's new boy group NCT U, I don't know who my bias is yet but I'm already working up ways on how to incorporate them into my stories. You'll be reading more of them soon!

Leave a comment below to tell me how I'm doing! Love you guys!