“Oh come on Kris, that’s a little far-fetched.”

                “What do you mean? It makes perfect sense okay.”

                “Luhan eloping with a secret boyfriend that I can believe. Luhan dressing up as a maid with kitten ears and a tail while serving customers that I can’t believe.”

                “I’m telling you both happened.” I rolled my eyes as I threw my hands up exasperatedly. The gust from my hands blew some of Luhan’s notes off the table and I scrambled down to get them with my phone still attached to my ear. “Tao, it doesn’t matter which one of those stories you believe. The fact is they have flown the coop out of Tokyo and are down in Sydney.”

                “Sydney Australia?!?!”

                “Is there any other Sydney?”

                “Oh Kris,” Tao sighed deeply over the line. “You have to find him.”

                “I do. I have to talk him out of this nonsense and convince him to come home.”

                “Good luck. Luhan is a very stubborn person.” Tao was right on that. Convincing him was not going to be easy. “If Luhan is madly in love with this Sehun guy you have your work cut out for you.”

                “I don’t even know who he is. Apparently he’s an artist but Luhan’s notes don’t describe anything else about his profession, and yes he is madly in love with this guy.”

                “I hope he’s cute.” Tao laughed.

                “Now is a poor time for jokes like that.” Yet I couldn’t help myself from laughing softly.

                “I’m sorry, it’s just that your parents are worried sick about the two of you and it’s depressing to be here with them.” I had asked Tao to stay with my parents for a while before I left. My mom was an emotional wreck when I told her that I was leaving and my father kept asking if I needed money or the authorities. The latter I definitely wouldn’t request for.

                “I’m sorry to have put such a request on you Tao. You can leave if you have to.”

                “It’s alright, or else no one would be around to help.”

                “How’s the company?”

                “Nothing strange so far. At least not what I have heard.”

                “Thanks Tao.” We hung up not too long afterwards and I laid there on the sofa (which is too small for my giant frame), sort of…lost.

                In 24 hours, I managed to trace my brother’s disappearance, his secret love affair and the fact that he’s gone off to another country in some Around the World in 80 Days fashion. This is like some Into The Wild (great book and movie) stunt, except the lead guy burnt off his credit cards and donated his money to actually head into the wild. Luhan hasn’t done anything like that, and he’s not trekking to Alaska. Yet.

                I was stuck halfway between feeling happy he is alive, and being angry at him. How could he not tell me about Sehun? Why couldn’t he trust me enough? I thought we were brothers.

                It didn’t matter anyways. I had already come this far, and I can’t just dump it and give up. I will find Luhan, so I have to continue on. I was getting ready to look through some more of Luhan’s belongings, but then I heard a knock on the door.

                “Hey kid. Ready for dinner?”

                “Dinner?”

                “Sure it’s 7pm now. Aren’t you hungry? Unless you had something to eat already.”

                It’s already 7pm? Wow, I didn’t know time had sped that fast. I must have taken a long time to read Luhan’s notes. Joonmyun was already waiting at the door and he was gracious enough to treat me to dinner.

                “You can’t come to Tokyo without seeing Tokyo, so come on.” He laughed as I stepped out and locked the door behind me.

                Tokyo, as it seems, was even more alive at night than in the day. It was like a nocturnal beehive. There were people still working, office people were drinking and students were heading out to party. Joonmyun took me to the infamous Shibuya crossing and I had never seen so many people at a crossing before. It was like a bunch of black ants, marching seamlessly in opposite directions without bumping into anyone.

                Dinner was of course, ramen. One of my favourite Japanese dishes, but the restaurant was not what I used to. It was a small place with a long bar and tiny round tables, unlike the full proper restaurants back home. The smell was wonderful and I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I started to drool unceremoniously.

                I haven’t really talked about Joonmyun have I? Well he’s a man in his thirties, short black hair, terribly fair and shorter than me (duh). He’s actually very handsome, if he would smile a little more. He walked around with a stoic expression, but with me he has his guard down, and he laughs and smiles more. When we were talking, I could see a few teenage girls from the other side of the shop looking at him. He was a guy who couldn’t give himself enough credit, even if he needed them.

                “The way I see it, your brother couldn’t have gone very far from the city.” Joonmyun said while we waited for our noodles. “He’s on a tight budget, and he needs a job at every new place he goes to. Try looking at the slums. He’s probably there.”

                “I hope I can find him. He hasn’t left a lot of information.”

                “You’ll find him. If you ask me, he’s deliberately leaving these messages. Like the key to his locker sent to a Korean parcel locker? He wants to be found, or at least traced. He must have known that you would start to look for him.”

                “It could have been my parents.”

                “Somehow I don’t think so.”

                “How do you know?”

                “Well, when I was talking to your brother, never once did he mention about his parents. He did however say ‘my brother would laugh at me.’”

                “When was that?”

                “When he accepted the job and saw the costume for the first time. His jaw dropped so far, I didn’t know he could do that.”

                “Oh yeah he’s a pro at that.” Luhan’s jaw dropping expression is a common joke. Dad always said one day it would really drop from its hinges, like a cheesy Hanna Barbara cartoon.

                “I figured that if someone ran away, they would talk about their parents at least once, but the first thing he talked about was you.” Joonmyun pointed at me, his eyes narrowed and we laughed together.

                “You two must be very close.” He said. I nodded and told him about how we met and the things we used together.

                “I know how you feel. I had a brother myself.”

                “Had?” I raised an eyebrow.

                “Oh yeah. He was my elder twin brother, but he died of asthma when I was 8 years old.” Joonmyun smiled sadly. We had already finished our noodles and were now walking down the busy Tokyo streets.

                “I’m sorry about that.”

                “He was everything to me. He was older by only 5 minutes but it seemed like he knew everything. He had the world in his hands, and he was the apple of everyone’s eye. He protected me when we were kids and he was my best friend.” He sniffled a little before looking back at me. “I can only imagine Luhan feels the same, which is why he left all these clues.”

                “Yeah but he’s not telling me what to do next.”

                “Maybe you should look closer.”

                Joonmyun walked me back to my place, as we chatted about random things. He was a really pleasant man, and he said that his rental business is a little slow.

                “You know, you could spruce the place up a little and put it on Airbnb.”

                “Airbnb?” he asked.

                “Oh yeah, it’s a website for travellers to rent apartments to stay. Your place is in a good location with full amenities. I bet lots of people would be interested.”

                “You think so?”

                “Oh yeah. And uh, smile a little more.”

                “You don’t think I smile enough?” he laughed, his eyes crinkling up and he looked radiant.

                “You seem embarrassed of it though.”

                “Well I always thought my smile reminded people of a hyena. You know, small eyes and all.”

                “You’d be surprised. I caught girls staring at you while you were smiling.”

                “Oh come on now.”

                “I’m serious. Trust me, just forget about how you look when you smile and actually do it.”

                “I’ll take your advice kid.” He smiled, patting me on the back. I’ve never been called ‘kid’ so many times by anyone before, but let me tell you, it’s not bad at all.

                “I’ll take you to the airport tomorrow if you’d like.”

                “Thank you Joonmyun. I really appreciate everything you have done so far, not just for me but for my brother too.”

                “Perhaps it’s unmei .”

                “What’s that?”

                “It’s Japanese for fate. Perhaps this is all fate.” He shrugged, offering me a comforting hug. “Kris?”

                “Yeah?”

                “I hope you find him.”

                “Me too.”

                “And if you don’t, it’s not your fault.”

                I said goodbye to Joonmyun and entered the tiny apartment, which several hours ago seemed claustrophobic, but now seemed just right. I sat down on the floor, with Luhan’s belongings before me. I could see little imprints of him around the apartment, and I could almost feel his body heat from the bed he laid on weeks ago. There was a picture of a beautiful graffiti artwork, and on the back of it said Tokyo. Cleared.

                I felt like I was betraying my brother by entering his innermost thoughts. I know I would never want my brother to read my diary, but with the scattered pieces in the box, it seemed like he wanted me to know.

                He trusted me enough to tell me his innermost thoughts.

                I guess I can live with that.