You Want Me
Don't you?

Wants 033
I want to turn back time, but it's too late for that.  

The first time she met him was long ago. She couldn't remember exactly how long was that, but they were both young, naive and far too carefree to think about their future. She was a young, wild kid who was far too adventurous for her own good. And he was the teacher's pet, always getting into the adult's good side. Honestly speaking, she hated him back then. He was a boy who had it all. He was showered with the love that she never had. 

"Jiae-ssi." She never liked how he called her name back then. "My name is Kim Myungsoo. I'm your seatmate for the whole term." She didn't like the gentle smile on his face either. She just dislike everything about Kim Myungsoo. He was a ball of sunshine that is too bright for her liking. 

"Are you sure about this?" She vaguely heard Mark's voice ringing in the background. He was driving them home, to the place where she calls home. The house in her memories was never a home, it was a building surrounded by cold stone walls. That place suffocates her, it chains her freedom down. The individuals were guards, they kept her locked in this space surrounded by rules and regulations. They just wouldn't set her free. Social etiquette, or proper education was all that mattered, but those weren't what she wanted. She wanted to do whatever she wants. She wanted to be free. 

So she broke apart. She cracked and tormented the life she had been living in. Those fixed schedules they gave her were torn like no other. She shattered their expectations and crushed their ideals just as simply. 

"Don't I look like it?" She faked a smile and said. She wasn't looking at him, she couldn't. Her eyes would give out all emotions that she was desperately trying to hide. Her feelings were painful, they were scarred, ugly wounds that she didn't want him to see. She wanted her image to be perfect in his eyes. She wanted to be strong. She was too used to the mask she places that she forgot how fragile she can be. It hurt, but her bad habit will still be there to protect her vulnerability.

The car came to a stop, and she took note of the familiar basement. It was like deja vu, except, it was her who became silent this time. The pain wouldn't intensify if she doesn't talk about it. She presumed as she gets out of the vehicle.

She noticed the tight frown on his face, and she chuckled. "I'm fine, really." Lies. She forced a soft lift on her lips and quickly left the basement. The lights were just too bright for her there. 

Mark wasn't saying anything. She was, for once, thankful of that. Her actions were trembling, panicking as she stumbles into the unit.

"Clumsy me." She smiled at her own clumsiness. She almost tripped on her own shoes. Mark's frown deepened then. She was never... not careful. He pursed his lips and watched as the girl halts her step. She was staring in daze this time. Her eyes were distant as though she was searching for something. 

"Fighting doesn't suit you." Why won't he just leave already? She nibbled her lips and held back the pain that was creeping up her heart. "Why don't you stop it already?" 

"Stop it and be with me?" She can still see his smile as though he was right here. His warmth was still there despite the long faded feelings she felt for him.

"Jiae." She stiffened at Mark's voice. The voices were collapsing as though Myungsoo was haunting her. She fidgeted at Mark's touch on her shoulder. The image flashed on his face. Why did she see Myungsoo there? She trembled, but the relief came back as soon as she realizes that it was Mark.

"I'm fine." She was putting the same mask again. Mark had learned to recognize the feelings that were clear in her eyes. She was in pain. And she needs help. She doesn't need pity, she doesn't need those meaningless words of comfort. She just needs a shoulder to lean on. 

"Quit lying to yourself already." His words surprised her. She wasn't expecting him to say anything at all. She was expecting him to let it go, but his eyes... Those pair of eyes were telling her otherwise. He sighed, eyes briefly left hers as he ruffles his hair. That action would have made her squeal, but this wasn't the time. She was slowly losing the sense of time, her thoughts were slowlt drifting apart.

"Jiae, please." Mark was holding onto her shoulders, but her vision was clouded by pain. She was lost in the reality that was shoved to her face all so mercilessly. Why couldn't time stop as it is? Why can't time save that man from his cruel fate? He shouldn't be gone. He deserved more than that. He deserved the world. But he let everything go for Jung Daesom.

"I've given up on life." This is bad, her tears were falling. They weren't supposed to fall, not in front of Mark. But why couldn't she hold it back anymore? "I'll give this heart to Daesom." Her knees trembled at the overwhelming thoughts that rushed up her bloodstream. She couldn't think, her brain wasn't functioning well enough for her to think. She no longer has control over her thoughts, those became the memory's domain.

I don't want this. She looked at Mark. He probably didn't know what to do with her. But she was far too broken to speak. I don't want any of these anymore. She choked on her tears as she strode towards him. 

Save me from this already. She gasped for air, her lips roughly crashed as she desperately tried to get rid of the pain that was tormenting her heart. Mark was struggling to push her away, but she didn't care. She just wanted to get away from the reality that hurts. Mark needs to help her, only he can help her out of this. 

"Help me forget." She whispered, her fingers quickly caught the buttons of his shirt. "I don't want to think of anything now."

"Jiae-"

"Mark, please..." She was trembling in his arms. He froze, his brows kneaded tight as he watches her tears fall. She had lost her direction, she was lost in the fog of war between reality and memories. His heart ached. It crushed him knowing that she was completely broken inside. She didn't know what to do anymore. The pain was probably too much for her to think.

"Jiae..." He wanted her to stop pretending that she's fine.