From the moment we landed in Bern, I thought our journey has come to an end, Park IlShik—James Yang now—proved us wrong. We took 2 hours’ car ride east as the last attempt to erase our tracks. We are now living in a small town in the outskirt of Zurich called Zug. HyeRin was excited when she sees our new house. It’s even bigger than the one they had in Lyon and apparently samchon has turned his profession into a farmer. Now, we don’t only have two dogs but we got 4 cows and 10 sheep which we needed to take care every day. HyeRin cannot really continue her study since she changed her name, the three of us tries to live our live outside the radar and not drawing any attention to ourselves.

Slowly I feel like I’m a part of their family, it feels like we’re three people that’s rejected by our own family and try to build the perfect one on our own. Park IlShik never discuss the matter about HyeRin’s being a donor ever since we arrived, the topic’s too taboo to be talk about. HyeRin also tries her best to regain her health back and forget the whole traumatic event we went through. As for me, I try to adapt into my new life by embracing new experiences I can get. Sometimes I remember my father, sometimes I remember HyeMi and imagine what she’s going through at the very moment with her battle, most of the times I just swallow my thoughts and divert my attention to do something else.

Season has changed since we got here, few months has passed and our back yard has covered with piles of white powdery snow. It’s winter once again, it’d finally December—the month I dreaded the most this year.

We’re sitting in the living room when the news announced from the TV. South Korea has lost their first daughter, Lee HyeMi has lost her battle to cirrhosis after an organ rejection. The news shows us HyeMi’s pictures when she was still healthy and also a video of the president mourning beside his daughter’s dead body.

The TV turns off by Park IlShik immediately. “It’s better for us not to watch it.” He clears his throat and goes to his room.

Awkward silence created between me and HyeRin.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers.

I nod, not sure of my own feeling.

“I could’ve saved her..”

“Stop it.” I snap.

She raises her eyebrows in surprise, but from her look it seems that she understands why I snap.

I’m occupied with my own thoughts, this is the day the grim reaper takes HyeMi’s life and I completely forgotten about it. I no longer look at my calendar as if it’s a time bomb anymore. I’m too busy living my new life that I completely forgotten about my pain when she left. I’m too busy keeping HyeRin alive.

“I’ll leave you alone. I’m so sorry oppa.” HyeRin cannot hide the sadness in her voice.

“Stay. Comfort me.” I take her hand and pull her into my embrace.

HyeRin follow my lead and snugs herself on my chest. “Mian..”

“It could’ve been you.” I finally said what’s been troubling my mind.

“Ne?”

“The deal I had with the grim reaper.”

HyeRin lifts her head to stare at my eyes.

“I’m too busy keeping you alive, I’ve forgotten about this day.” I feel sadder the more I tell my feelings to her. “If you donated your liver, today will be you last day HyeRin-a. It’