“You have to make a choice,” he said firmly.

            “It’s either me or him.”

            Junmyeon bit his lower lip. That question had been driving his mind crazy. It was always Kris’s voice echoing inside of his head, repeating the same question over and over again. Sometimes, he wished that he would just shut up about it.

But after a while, he realized that it was his own voice all along. He had been asking himself the question repeatedly. He thought that he would never have the need to choose. He didn’t understand why but the question popped into his head all of a sudden.

When Kris asked for his hand that day, he also told him a secret. A secret that no one can know except for the both of them. Junmyeon knew. He knew that Kris had other reasons for wanting to take him back. But he still believed that they still had a chance to be happy together. He couldn’t understand why. He just felt that way. He trusted Kris. Or maybe he just wanted to.

“I needed the money, Junmyeon,” Kris had said. Junmyeon remembered how sad he sounded. And when he touched Kris’s cheeks, they were wet with his tears. He leaned forward onto Kris’s shoulder as he whispered.

“It’s okay, Kris,” he said his voice ringing softly in Kris’s ears.

“We’ll go through this together,” he squeezed Kris’s hand, “Just like we’ve been through everything together.”

“I’m so sorry, Junmyeon,” Kris said as he held both Junmyeon’s hands in his. Junmyeon lowered his head and tried to hold in his tears. His heart hurt again when the memories came flooding back.

“For leaving you like that,” Kris apologized sincerely.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Kris continued, “I know that now.”

Junmyeon bit his lower lip. He wanted to lift his head and told Kris that it was alright. But it wasn’t. And he couldn’t bring himself to lie. Not again. Not to himself.

“Will you ever forgive me?”

Junmyeon felt Kris pulling him down as Kris knelt down on the ground. Junmyeon’s mind raced as he pondered on the question. His lips trembled as he couldn’t decide whether to speak or stay silent. He didn’t know what answer he should give. He was afraid that things might go wrong again.

But before he could speak, he felt Kris standing up and pulled him closer. Kris took Junmyeon by his chin and lifted his head up. He felt Kris’s warm lips pressed against his own. It wasn’t fake. It wasn’t full of love either. It was soft and gentle. It lifted Junmyeon’s heart and made him think about the times when they were once together.

Junmyeon put both hands on Kris’s chest and pushed gently. Kris broke away. Junmyeon could feel his warm breath against his face. It was just like the old days when kisses like these were just an everyday routine. But now Junmyeon felt as if he was kissing a stranger that was once his lover. His mind raced. He couldn’t understand anything anymore.

“I love you…”

He heard Kris whispered those words once more. He was torn by his own feelings. He didn’t underst