Joonmyun sits in his car, taking a deep breath in and calming himself down before he gets out and walks over to the front door. He was quite surprised that security had let him in so easily, how unsurprised they were to see him, like they were expecting him to come back at some point. Stood outside the front door, Joonmyun fights back any hesitation still lingering inside of him and rings the doorbell. There’s a little wait before the door finally opens and Joonmyun’s actually relieved when it’s Qian who opens the door and nobody else.

“Hello Joonmyun” she says

“H-hi” Joonmyun replies with a shaky smile “Is Yifan in?”

“No, not right now” Qian replies “Actually he hasn’t been home in the past four days” and seeing the worried look on Joonmyun’s face, quickly explains herself “Nothing’s happened! Oh no! He used to come home maybe for a quick shower, or a change of clothes, but now the only time he comes home is to pack a bag full of clothes, his toothbrush, just his essentials. He spends more time in his office than he does here and I’m so worried that he hasn’t eaten properly or he’s not sleeping properly”

Thinking back to the articles Joonmyun had read over the past week, most of the reports on Yifan had mainly focused on unwell he had been looking lately. Hearing just how worried Qian was, this wasn’t a new thing, and it had actually been happening for a while now.

“Okay, maybe he’s still at his office now. I can go there, talk to him and call you to say how it’s going. How about that?” he suggests and turns around to leave, but Qian grabs his arm to stop him

“Wait Joonmyun. Before you go I need to tell you something”

Joonmyun doesn’t want to be rude and leave, but he also doesn’t want to stick around. He was kind of hoping Yifan would be around in the first place so that he didn’t have this wait where he could possibly change his mind and go back home to ignore his feeling and wallow in self-pity.

“Please, it won’t take long I promise”

Sighing, Joonmyun follows Qian into the house and towards the living room. For the size of the place, the living room is actually the smallest place in the house. In comparison to the mass size of some rooms, this one is small and cosy. On the wall are numerous pictures; a picture of Yifan as a young kid scowling at the camera (which makes Joonmyun laugh a little), some pictures of what must have been Yifan and his time at university in Canada, and a few pictures of Yifan throughout his childhood with Siwon and his wife. In some of them he was actually smiling!

“There are more pictures, but as soon as Siwon moved out he took them down and boxed them with photo albums to put away. He claimed they were too embarrassing to show around guests” Qian says, making Joonmyun smile as he joins her on the sofa.

Sat across from Joonmyun, Qian takes a moment to study him before smiling and gently patting his leg “I’m sorry Joonmyun. I’m sorry for everything Yifan has put you through. He is a difficult person I’ll give you that” she begins, pausing and laughing at Joonmyun’s expression “I’m trying to tell you that the day you two had the argument, I too don’t believe that he doesn’t care about you. I thought it was a complete and utter lie when I had found out what had happened. I guess you thought that too”

“I wouldn’t be here if I did” Joonmyun replies

“That’s right” Qian says “He does care for you Joonmyun, so much, even after your argument. I would come up to give him food or to check on him and he would always have the news on just to see if you were on there at all. He may act cold and rude, but it’s an image he’s built up for years since he first arrived. Everybody knows that Siwon and his wife adopted Yifan, though I’m not really sure everybody knows the full picture. Do you?”

Joonmyun shakes his head and braces himself for whatever Qian is about to tell him. Why she’s doing this he still doesn’t know, but he promised he would stay until she had finished, even if it took longer than what Qian had promised.

“Yifan’s father had never been part of the picture. From what Siwon’s told me he was perhaps there for the two first three months and then left. Yifan’s mother and Siwon’s wife had been good friends, owing to the fact that his wife had spent some years over in China, so when Yifan was seven years old and his mum fell ill, Siwon and his wife agreed to look after him. It was only meant to be temporary but then his mum died and Yifan was devastated, so devastated. I remember the conversations I would have with Siwon where he would tell me how much Yifan had cried, how he would beg to go back to China and see his mum, how difficult they found it to explain to him that it was impossible for him to go back”

“So Siwon and his wife adopted Yifan? It would have been the practical thing to do”

“Practical but not easy. That’s why I was hired, to help him settle into his new home. It was such a difficult time; kids at school would bully him, he would hardly speak or eat when he was home, often I would find him crying in his room. This hard and cold image he puts up is just to hide the vulnerable side he’s too afraid to show. He’s afraid to show this weak side of him because in doing so previously he’s been hurt from it so many times”

Joonmyun sits and listens as Qian tells him stories about Yifan he thought he’d never get to hear; how shy he was when he first came to Korea, how he went almost a year without having made any friends. Growing up thinking all he did was cause trouble, Yifan tried to stop showing this vulnerable side people had long been exposed to. When Siwon’s wife had died, Yifan tried to be strong and tried to be there for Siwon, but still being young he couldn’t really help, he felt useless. Now that he was older and Siwon was out injured, it was his chance to finally prove his worth.

“He’s been working so hard lately that he’s pushed everybody away” Qian comments “I know this isn’t an excuse to justify how horribly he had spoken to you and how he’s been towards you recently, but I have never seen him care about someone so much before. I think he’s afraid; he knows he likes you, yet he’s afraid to like you, to drag you into his world where he puts on a completely different personality so that he’s not judged for who he really is”

“I know. It took me a while to figure it out, but nobody’s perfect, I’m not, and I’m willing to wait for him, even if it means having to go back for him again and again”

 Satisfied by his answer, Qian smiles and gets up from her seat, Joonmyun copying her. He jumps slightly when Qian brings him in for a hug, but smiles and hugs her back, being walked to the door as he heads back to his car to drive over to Yifan’s office. Knowing more about him than he had done previously, Joonmyun makes a promise to himself and to Qian that no matter how stubborn Yifan may be, Joonmyun was going to wait and keep trying. He wasn’t about to give up that easily.

"Why so much dialogue?"

Well, my friends, this chapter is 50% understanding Yifan and why he is the way he is sometimes and 50% Qian knowing that Joonmyun would probably come back at some point, and that if he was going after Yifan, then she wanted him to know what he was getting himself for- to know what was really going on- before he got himself in too deep. Make sense?

Also, I've decided that this is going to be ending soon. But never fear! Remember a couple of chapters back I asked if you wanted somewhere to go to read some mini sequels? Well, I have set up a community on livejournal which will post said sequels after this is finished! Just click this link to be taken to my livejournal page (excuse the username I've had it a while now) and you'll want to read the post titled "Link to community" click it and you shall be transported!

Until the next chapter!

(Yes I know, cheesy and fluffy title and ending, but we need some in our life, don't you think?)