When I was done calming my heart down I looked up and saw my mom standing in front of me with a mischievous smile. Then she innocently looked away, still with that annoying smile of hers sticking, and walked away. I got up and followed her.

“What?” I asked, wanting to know what she thought of the situation.

She turned around, “Nothing,” she said, but her face told me otherwise. She begun to pack up some groceries, “for how long have you liked him?”

I was already on my way up to my room, but turned around when I heard her, “what?”

She then completely lost it and went into total excited-mom-mode, “Awwww, come on, don’t be like that!” she grabbed my hands and jumped up and down, “It was so cute! Come on, let’s have a girl talk.”

She dragged me with her to the couch and placed me in front of her, her grin turning to a serious face, “Do you think he likes you back? Or I mean, of course he does, everyone likes you, but has he said anything? Was this a date? Have you been dating for a long time? Have you… done it?”

“MOM!” I yelled, not ready for such a question, “we’re not dating and I don’t like him.”

She snorted, “You don’t even have to try to hide it, honey. I saw you by the door.”

“That was just a one time thing.”

“No honey. When your heart almost beats out of your chest, it’s not a one time thing.”

I sighed, “I’m going to bed.”

“Wait,” she pulled me down again, this time with a really serious expression, “honey. Even though you’re saying you’re not dating yet it doesn’t leave out the possibility of you dating in the future-“

“I’m leaving…” I interrupted, but she held me back.

“I just want you to think about it. He’s a celebrity. You have to think about what kind of relationship you want. He wont be able to do ordinary stuff, like go to the movies for example. Not without a whole crowd of fangirls after you. And they’ll throw hate at you. And there’s always going to be like that, he can’t protect you from all of it. Just think about if you’re willing to get your heart broken on those terms or not. I like Baekhyun and I’d love to see the two of you together, but just know if it’s worth it.”

I groaned, tired of listening to her –but I still listened to every word she said and took it in- , “I know mom. I know the risks of dating a celebrity, and that’s why I’m not dating one. I don’t like Baekhyun in that way. Now please, can I go to my room?”

She sighed, “Sure. Thank you for your valuable time.”

I shoot her a glare and went to my room, closing the door. Then I threw myself on the bed.

I don’t know why my heart was pounding so hard before. It’s never done that before for Baekhyun. Maybe it was because of that smile. I’m not used to getting it from him, so it kind of took me by surprise. Plus, he’s kind of handsome when he does smile, and what kind of girl doesn’t get attracted by a hot guy. There’s the logical reason.

Still, I couldn’t help my thoughts from drifting off to Baekhyun and different scenarios with the two of us.

I wonder what he’s doing now… *Sigh*

* * *

“Eyo, look who’s back!” Kris roared as Baekhyun stepped through the door. He dryly smiled back and went straightly to his room, hoping no one would be there. Luckily, no one was. He threw himself on the bed and drifted away in his thoughts. He hadn’t realized he smiled at her until he saw the way she didn’t know how to answer. He just couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

God, she’s cute.

Why he smiled at her? He himself didn’t know the answer. Maybe because she had just cutely thanked him for the food. Or that she got so worked up over why he laughed. Or simply the way she stood there by the door and looked like a freakin’ angel sending him off.

He groaned, why was he thinking this? He’d known her for a few years now and these thoughts never popped up before. And was that? Is this his heart racing?

He quickly covered his chest with his hands and felt on the left side, where his heart found it’s home. Yes, it was indeed pounding harder than usual.

Then suddenly the door went open and a tall guy made his appearance visible. He bent over by the bed and looked down at Baekhyun.

“Why are you covering your chest? Are you about to have a heart attack?” Chanyeol asked. Baekhyun sat up and gave him a face.

“Of course not, idiot.”

“Then what? Is it because of Soo-na?”

“Yeah, you were gone awfully long this time,” Sehun joined in, coming through the door.

Kai too popped in his head, “Did you manage to make her yours?”

Baekhyun sent Kai a dark look, “ert. No guys, I was just having a moment.”

“A moment with her?” Kai once again tried, creeping closer.

“A moment with myself and my thoughts,” Baekhyun corrected him, slightly annoyed.

“Dirty th-“ Kai started but cut himself off when he saw Baekhyun’s murder-glare.

“What happened?” Chanyeol asked and pushed Kai away.

“Nothing,” Baekhyun said, “Nothing happened.”

“Then what are you feeling?” Chanyeol once again tried to get something out of his best friend.

“I’m feeling…” Baekhyun started, building everyone’s hope up, “I’m feeling tired. I’m going to bed, please clear out the living room.”

“Oh, come on! You gotta give us something!” Sehun whined, but Baekhyun just shoved him out of his way and headed to the bathroom.

How could he give them anything when he still wasn’t sure himself?

* * *

So it was time for school again and I could only imagine all the comments about my absence. That’s the worst thing about having people bully you. A normal outsiders absence doesn’t get acknowledged, since no one sees a different. But since they didn’t have anyone to pick on yesterday they notice. And I’ll get the crap for it.

“Do you want me to drive you?” mom asked. I quickly shook my head, gulping down the last of my sandwich and then rushing out of the house. I couldn’t sleep last night, so I overslept and therefor I was late. Again.

I ran to the bus stop just as the bus rolled in and stopped. When I was on I paid and took the seat by the window. I had an 20 minutes ride to look forward to. I put in my earplugs and closed my eyes. Then after some time I felt a person’s presence take the seat next to me. I opened my eyes and discreetly looked at the person. A pretty handsome guy sat there and looked at me.

“Hi,” he said.

I thought about responding for a moment, but then it hit me that he went to my school. We had the same uniform. So he was probably just going to mock me. I closed my eyes again and turned my head away.

I could hear him scoff, “Rude much?”

I turned to him again, “Hi,” I said, but that was all. He would probably soon start spitting comments anyway. Oddly enough, the ride went on and after ten minutes the bus stopped, which meant we had arrived at the school, and he hadn’t said a word. I looked up and saw that he had already gone off and was outside greeting his friends. Weird.

Then my phone buzzed and I looked at it;

From: Richard (Chanyeol)

Eyo, girl. We were just wondering what your plans were for tonight?

I was just about to reply when my phone was smacked down to the ground.

“Oops, sorry,” a girl smirked and walked away. I took a deep breath and bent down to pick up my phone again. I noticed that the glass had cracked and had to take a few more deep breaths before I could go on.

When I turned my head up I saw the boy from the bus. He was looking at me and for a few seconds we locked eyes. It was weird, ‘cause his eyes weren’t showing the same mocking expression the others were. His eyes showed compassion and genuine sadness. Then I shook it off and went to class.

I’m just making stuff up in my head.

“Oh, look who decided to join us other mortals in school. Where did you go yesterday honey? Therapy? We missed you, you know!”

“Soo-na! I’m so happy to see you!”

“Why were you gone yesterday?”

Normally those kinds of questions would make you happy, since it meant people cared. But there’s a difference between saying it and mean it and don’t mean it. When there’s no meaning in the questions it’s just humiliating. Have you ever had the feeling that somebody doesn’t mean what one say? It’s just fake and ridiculous. And these persons put in an extra effort just to make it sound extra fake, which makes it ridiculous to the point of humiliation.

I hate it.

But I’m not doing anything about it either.

With one more fact about me to their knowledge and I would be their new best friend in a heart beat.

But that’s probably the reason why I’m not telling them. Because how fake wouldn’t that be? It would be even more humiliating. So I endure it.

For now.

“Good morning class. Morning meeting’s first in order, where’s the class president?” Mrs. Choi greeted. The class greeted her back and the class president went to the front and like that was another day was started.

Later, on our break, I got another text from Suho.

From: Francis

Hey, Soo-na. How are you? You didn’t answer Chanyeol’s text. How’s school? Please tell us.

I stared at the text, touched. I almost felt like crying at how they cared. I was really thankful to have them. Even though they didn’t do anything about my situation –which I had begged them not to do- they were still there for me, to comfort me.

I still didn’t answer though. I don’t know why, maybe I as waiting for Baekhyun to text me. Ridiculous, I know.

“Hey,” someone then said and I looked up surprised. It was the boy. I looked around, maybe he was talking to someone else?

Nope, no one else in sight.

Then he had to be pulling a prank on me. I turned around again.

Then I heard him chuckle and I sighed. Like I thought, he was just joking around, and I had satisfied him.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” he said with a smile in his voice. I frowned, this wasn’t a normal bully-conversation.

So, he put some thoughts to his offers. Good for him.

I then decided to answer him, that was probably what he wanted anyway.

“No, I’ve learned not to do so by now,” I retorted cheeky. He reacted a little on the harsh tone in my voice but decided to ignore it.

“Why?” he then asked me, which took me by surprise. He didn’t show any signs of wanting to hurt me. But still I didn’t trust him.

“I have to go to class,” I said and left.

“Wait,” he called after me and I turned around “Are you going to get that glass fixed? I know a place,” he said. What is he talking about? Is he mocking me in a strange way? Strange. He’s strange.

I didn’t answer him, I just left.

A few hours later I sat in my dad’s office, sulking over a cup of chocolate. He was out on some business, so I had the office for myself. Baekhyun still hadn’t called or texted, but I figured he had to be busy at the photo shooting.

I sat with my homework when the door opened and Suho entered. He had a sad smile on his lips and came to hug me.

“How was it? You didn’t reply anyone,” he said as he hugged me tight. I leaned on his shoulder, just some of his strength in. He was the perfect big brother and teddy bear when feeling sad.

“Actually it wasn’t as bad as I had thought it would be,” I said as an attempt to make him less worried. Though he didn’t buy it and gave me a steady and secure look.

“Soo-na, you don’t always have to be strong. Not in front of us. Cry if you want to, whine, be angry, we’re your family, we will always be here for you. And since we aren’t allowed to do anything, at least lean on us.”

I had to swallow down my tears. Suho always knew what to say. But I didn’t want to be a burden to them, so I stayed strong.

“Thank you,” I said and stayed in his arms for a while.

After a while we pulled away and he looked into my eyes, “Now, what were you doing tonight? I think we all need some fun and it’s Friday.”

Suho took me with him to the staff changing room and gave me a t-shirt that said ‘staff’, “here, put it on.”

“What are we going to do?”

“You’ll see!” he said with a childish smile.