Flashback:

It was all coming back to him. 

The fear of living, the painful memories, the hellishness experience.

Luhan was scared. He was so damn scared but he could do nothing about it.

His body was hurt. He was hurt. 

He cried in the shower. Silently. 

If only the water would wash away everything...

But no, the water did nothing except merging with his tears. 

He let the water run over his head and it trailed down his body. 

Luhan hugged himself in despair. 

He tried to tolerate the pain. 

Useless.

His own blood trickled between his legs...

It hurt as much as recalling the past.

The pain he had to go through.

"Can I leave the hospital now?" He had asked before.

"Yes..." The reply sounded apprehensive. "Yes, but it's better if you stay for observation. The bleeding might have stopped but-"

"I want to go home." Luhan had said, determined.

He thought it was gone.

He knew it would eventually come back though.

It was just too soon.

Why does he have to be the one suffering?

Why couldn't it be someone else? Luhan had asked many times. Why him of all people? 

He'd said he was fine, he was alright. But those are all white lies.

He was so tired pretending that everything was fine.

He was simply tired pretending...that he can take whatever kind of life throws at him.

Because actually he can't. He cries when he's alone. He's not strong enough. Luhan thought.

Shortly, Luhan got out of the bathtub. 

He looked for a towel.

He found one which was supposed to be Sehun's property.

He hesitated. 

Then Luhan decided not to touch it. 

Luhan reached for the sink. 

He washed his already wet face. 

His chest hurt from crying. 

But the pain above his pubic hurt more. 

The pain went down to his groin. 

The pain was terrifying.

Because he was alone and he didn't know what he should do. 

Then he came to think of it...

Should I just make this quick?

Should I just die now?

And that's when Luhan's hands found its way to the blade in the little cabinet next to the sink. 

-o-o-o-o-o-

It had been a day since Sehun left for filming.

Luhan was alone in the apartment. Suho had left him the key so he was able to get inside. The keychain also had Suho's number in it. Luhan won't be able to call even if he wanted to, he didn't have a phone after all - not anymore.

Another day passed.

Luhan missed Sehun so much.

He hadn't talked to him ever since that day.

When he said the words he kept inside and shouted at Sehun's face, Sehun never showed up again. 

It saddened Luhan.

I want to talk to you, Sehun. 

Please let me hear your voice.

He felt remorseful. He didn't have to say that. He didn't have to shout at him. It only made Sehun go away. Sehun was his only hope, but he pushed him away. If he hadn't thought of Sehun's smile and sincere 'I love you hyung' while cutting himself, maybe he could have finished himself and died. Sehun may have ruined his life more, but Sehun also saved his life. Luhan however was unreasonably attached to the latter that he could not get himself to hate Sehun to the point that he would not forgive him. He would always forgive him. Sehun would always come to his mind whenever he thought there was no point in living.

Just like Sehun being attached to Luhan.

Luhan took all the courage to step out of the apartment. 

He will find a way to contact Sehun. He had thought. 

He could already imagine how the conversation with Sehun on the phone would go. First, he'd say hello. Then he'd say sorry, hopeful that Sehun would forgive him. And then... He doesn't know what's next after that.

As long as Sehun will forgive me... He said on his mind as he entered the elevator. 

Luhan hadn't noticed that a man was following him since he left the apartment room. 

He didn't notice until the guard in disguise spoke up. "I wonder what's he thinking. Could it be that you miss your live in partner?" The man spoke. From the beginning when the first word was blurted out, Luhan recognized the voice but he didn't dare meet the man's penetrating gaze. 

It was Shunsuke.

Luhan tried to ignore him as he attempted to exit the elevator at the wrong floor. Shun pulled him back however, Luhan staggered to his feet. He was back in the elevator and it was closed once again. Shun pinned him against the mirror wall and Luhan could see his own face at the mirror behind Shun - afraid and helpless.

"What do you want?" Luhan managed to let out a small squeak and asked in a tiny voice. "Leave me alone..." He closed his eyes, afraid to look into Shun's dark orbs, only to remember all the horrible things the latter had done to him.

"I will leave you alone forever, if you do as I say."

Luhan wished he could not hear him.

"Don't worry. It will be easy for you... Just break Oh Sehun and his career. Then you'll be free from me."

Luhan's eyes widened in surprise and dread. "N-No!"

"No?" Shun chuckled and placed his hand on Luhan's neck. "I'm surprise you're still protecting him even though he ruined your life." 

Luhan gulped. What did he mean? Luhan didn't understand. What does this man know about Sehun and him? Luhan tried to think about it but Shun instantly tig