I am more than ready to start the day today – I have a good feeling in my waters that I’ll be a step closer to the big reveal.  Throughout these past few days I’ve had to force myself to look at the ‘top’ three during class to consider them.  That just sounded wrong didn’t it? Top... For once I let  someone come close to me and again I was made vulnerable. 

     Oh it was painful to look at them and on top of that, I recieved looks from students that caught me out…

    Anyway class has started and I’m eyeing the three like a hawk. Maybe if I concentrate hard enough I’ll have another vision - like what I had with V.

    Say V just happens to be the father, I know he’ll take care of it – his brain is practically underdeveloped, they’d be playmates… our story would be the smart girl falls in love with the dumb boy… but then again a child raising a child isn’t recommended and I what am I saying, it's impossible for me to love.

    Then there is Jimin. He’s still the devil’s spawn and I don’t think he’d want anything to do with the child.  Say if he does, he certainly can hold it, geez he’s practically out of diapers and his arms are already that muscular… not that I’m looking or anything.  Our story would be the angel student falls in love, no, is forced to be with the evil demon who destroyed her life and she hates him so much she just feels like slapping him around and hoping that karma will come and destroy him because he thinks he’s hot when really he is a cold fart that warmed up and what is he trying to do with Jungkook, is he gay or something? I’m not going to be stuck at home braiding his hair and forced to go shoe shopping … I need to catch my breath … excuse me.

    Where were we?

     Finally there is Jungkook, good little golden Jungkook. You know I admit that I underestimated him – he’s got a little something something going on …. I mean in his brain, his intelligence, not his… I’ll stop. He seems like he’s sensitive and caring so if he finds out he’ll either acknowledge it and do everything he can to make everything alright and be a good man, or… he’d cry and go into misery because he thinks he can’t do anything right – seen that already. We’d be a nice couple I suppose but I think that I’d probably be wearing the pants.
 

    Oh, I don’t know! I’m trying to think of them in a positive light. You know what, what if Jin is lying, what if he remembers but isn’t sure about it? That’s what I keep thinking… something just seems a bit off, it’s obvious that he’s hiding something in the way he looks at me, stops himself from saying something, and even his attitude in the hospital last week.  Something fishy is going on and I want to get to the bottom of it.

    “Yah, are you erting?” Jimin yells from across the room. I pick up the scrunched up paper ball that bounced off my head. Great, he caught me out – again. 

    “You little-”

“It was me.”  Jungkook interrupted. I looked at him in surprise. Why does he look like a possessed rabbit at the moment?

“Jeon Jungkook please remain after class, class dismissed,” I say trying to contain my fury.  The students dashed out of their seats as if the canteen sold free food.  Jungkook approaches my desk steadily.

“I am very disappointed in you.”  I meant it, I thought he was different.  He looks at me with wide eyes.

“You are?” He questions in surprise.  It was like it was music to his ears to receive such a … compliment.

“This is a classroom, not a playground,” I scold. He blinks a few times with a look of panic washing over his face.

“I did my work I swear!” He protests.  Okay, I didn’t question that, but I know he didn’t because every time I looked up he was pushing Jimin away or mucking around with V.

“Okay, bring it to me,” I challenged.  Let’s see if he’s all talk.  He placed his notebook on my desk and rubbed his neck.

“Just read the bottom part, the rest is just rubbish.” At least he knows its rubbish. Not expecting much I read over his Korean paper.  His handwriting was hard to read but he did the work alright.  My eyes flickered up to what he proclaimed as ‘rubbish’. I couldn’t believe that it was his work.  It was too beautiful and very deep, full of quotes from texts and empowering people.  I know it sounds cheesy but it wasn’t.

“This isn’t rubbish.  Who taught you to write like this?” I ask softly. He keeps his head low as if he was ashamed.

“No one… look it’s just the draft, I know it’s bad.” He tries to snatch back his book but I hold onto it.  

“No, it isn’t. You can’t be embarrassed and then re-write your work in a ‘safe’ way . . . you’re smart, aren’t you?” I question trying to catch his eyes.  He still remains looking down at the floor in embarrassment.

   I bet it has something to do with BTS.  They bullied me because I was smart; maybe he thinks they’ll kick him out.  Those bast*rds!

“You don’t have to put yourself down just so your friends will accept -”

“No it’s not that,” he interrupts.  Looking up at me he bites his lip.

“It’s just I thought about what you said and you were right,” his voice hints at enthusiasm. I was?  About what?

“Gosh I can’t believe I’m saying this but I want to try, I’m going to do what you said and just go for it,” he admits with wide eyes filled with passion and hope.  What did I say? Him going to live on child support with his fifty kids from fifty girls? Death? Jail?  I dunno… I look at him and smile uncertainly and attempt to go back to what I was going to speak to him about.

“Now tell me, what possessed you to throw a ball at me?” I question. He drags a chair in front of my dess and sits down. 

    “Hae Ri.”

    “Miss. Lee,” I bark.

    “Whatever, don’t think I haven’t noticed you avoiding me.”

    “What?”  

    “Don’t be silly, whenever I look at you to get your attention you’d look away.”  I only did that because I thought he caught me.  And why does that excuse him for throwing a ball at my head?!

    “I’ve tried to talk to you about,” he pauses to look around and leans forward, “you know what,” he whispers.

    “I know what?” I repeat slowly.

    “Don’t play that card on me. You know…” He raises his eyebrows. Oh gosh, is he suggesting what I think he’s suggesting?!

     “That?”

    “Yes, that. Don’t you know how worried I was when I woke up?” He reprimands. Noo, no… no? no! Jungkook? Him? Is he the father? OMG?!

    “Yah snap out of it.  I know it wasn’t our fault but you should’ve at least told me afterwards.” JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL.

    “I’m sorry I didn’t know I only just found out a few weeks ago and I’m freaking out.” I let out in one whole breath. I’m panicking.  

    “I didn’t know we even…” had .

    “That’s okay. It’s perfectly fine, I’m sure the hospital flushed it out.”

    “Flushed it out? It! How can you be so cruel to human life?   Oh no mister you need to take responsibility for your actions.  Do you know how I felt when I thought this so called it died?”  

    He looks at me as if I was speaking Italian.

     “What are you talking about?”

Oh don’t tell me…

    “What are you talking about?”

    “I’m talking about the hospital? I got Jin to take you there? I assume they flushed out the drugs from your system?” He points out.  What have I done?

    “What were you talking about?” He eyes me weirdly.  

I gulp and attempt to smile.

    “Nothing,” I say trying to wave it off.  He thinks for a while before tilting his head.

    “Did I do something to you?”

    “Um…” That I don’t know.

    “Don’t tell me we ...” he starts. What do I say? Maybe with a one in three chance possibility?  

    “Uh… no, what are you talking about? Oh look its lunch time, goodbye!” I say and attempt to make a run for it.  

    “Hae Ri wait!” He stops me before I get to the door.  My body is freezes in fright as I sense him approaching me slowly.

    “Are you pregnant?” He questions.  I turn around to meet him, not expecting the little distance between us.

    All I’m able to do is look at him. Does he know something? Was it him? He searches my eyes as if he’s trying to uncover something.  The way he looks at me with such an empowering amount of curiosity, makes me feel bare.    

    Very slowly, and very delicately, he reaches for my cheek as if he was touching an exotic being for the first time.  I feel something, something familiar in his touch.  We stare nervously at each other as he starts to lean in… the scene putting together another memory:

     ~  Everyone has passed out, except for Jungkook and I.  We’re sitting facing each other, still laughing as we're dozing off.  I ruffle his hair and he grabs my face, squeezing it tightly between his palms.  We laugh – again, and I start to lean back to go to sleep.  Jungkook groans and pulls me back up.

    “And then… sleeping beauty lost her wooden slipper and Prince Aladdin found it.  He went around to every house to find his beast, but he was actually a girl and he ate the apple and turned into,”

    “I want to sleep,” I moan and start to lean back.  He pulls me back up and grabs my head, bringing me closer.

  “No I’m telling you a bedtime story…. and then, he turned into a beanstalk.  Why aren’t you asleep already?” he questions, trying to hold my head up straight.  His eyes flicker down to my lips and he starts coming in closer and closer…

    I start to close my eyes and before I know it, I’m lying on the floor while he vomits in V’s boot. I start to chuckle and call him a pabo.  He lies down next to me and puts a hand over my mouth.

    “Silence!” He orders.  I uncontrollably giggle and he removes his hands to wipe my spit on V’s shirt. 

    “You, don’t ever throw yourself in front of a choo-choo ever again. Ara?” he orders.    

    “Yah, look at me.”  I cover my eyes and laugh.  He swings a leg to the other side of me so he is some-what sitting on me.  He removes my hands as he comes down on all fours.  “I hurt you, I hurt a person I see you every day in pain, and cry. You, I envy you. I’m worthless.  My parents… care, they don’t.  I’m going be like them.  My life is destined for the slump,” he proclaims.  I prop myself up on my elbows, bringing me closer to him.

“Yah! My ears don’t like hearing that,” I growl and mess up his hair.  “Don’t let your parents be the root of where you sprout from… prove to me that you’re not worthless, you can make up to me that way.  Study hard ara?!”  Still hovering over me, he slowly reaches out a hand to caress my cheek.  We stare at each other nervously and he leans down, forcing me to lie on my back. 

    He pecks my forehead, then my cheek, and then he goes down to my neck but suddenly stops himself.  Sighing, he rolls off and turns his back to me.  

    “Sleep, I think I’m sobering up now...” ~

We gulp in unison; he suddenly retreats and adjusts his tie. I clear my throat trying to figure out what to say. 

    “So do you think we had…” I trail off.  He shakes his head.

    “No… at least that’s what I think.”  I gulp for the umpteenth time and nod my head.

    “We should, go, it's lunch.” I gesture for the door.

    “Yeah,” he says and opens the door for me.  How do I walk again? How do I normally walk past a person?

    “This is awkward isn’t it?” He states.

     “Yeah,” I agree.  He closes the door and puts his hands behind his head.  We exhale at the same time and he clears his throat.

     “Come on, bring it in,” he invites me into a hug.  I look at him as if he’s for real.  

    “Come one, we’ll hug it out. I don’t want us to be uncomfortable.” Considering his idea had a point, I took a little step towards him and felt like dying inside.

    “Okay, so I’m just going to,” I say attempting to widen my arms.  He steps forwards and engulfs me.

    “Um, okay, yep hug,” I mutter.  I stop cringing against his chest and stabilize my breathing.  This feels nice, better than what I expected.  Gosh I seem to be losing my first everything to BTS.  I’m usually not this accepting of skin-ship but although I hate to say it, I’m changing and I’m actually handling it fine - 

OMG I’M HUGGING A BOY AND HE SMELLS SO GOOD. OH THIS IS LIFE, HOW COULD I NEVER BE INTERESTED IN THE OPPOSITE GENDER.  Damn I feel like a woman.  I could happily die right now.

    Jin bursts through the door and immediately shuts his eyes.

 “Oh! Oh! Oh-my-”

“Jin, just come in,” Jungkook instructs. I immediately shove Jungkook back and gather my thoughts.  What the hell was I thinking! Gosh Hae Ri pull your head out of the gutter.  It’s just my pregnant brain; it’s just my pregnant brain! But he smells so... No he doesn't  - Teachers can't think of their students that way....

“So…” Jin trails off and points at Jungkook.

“No, he isn’t or so we think,” I reveal.  Jin nods and digs his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, right, right, well I just came to tell you something I was meaning to tell you,” he starts. Yes, finally, the moment of truth. 

“I wasn’t sure because I didn’t know if I was imagining it, but…”

“But?” Jungkook repeats.  

“I think I saw something going on with you and…”

“Oh just get to the point! Who?” I yell.

“Jimin.” 

I might not be able to update tomorrow -.- anyway I hoped you like the update, am a little tired atm that's why it might have a lot of errors.  SO yes cliffhanger ahahahaha, who do you think the father could be now? I already know (durgh) but what do you guys think, there's a couple of guesses (for the same memeber hahah) 

THANK YOU THOSE who have read, commented and subscibed - I am really happy and grateful!

xxx