Hey, from the title, you can guess what this chapter is about.

It is just my black thoughts. But don't worry, I also have my white side about MC!

How did I fall in love with you?

I won’t to say who is that ‘you’. Should I try hating your name? Every time I walk, I could hearing your name which spoken by people around me. I guessed, our Monday label is really strong. I am tired of it. I want freedom too, like you. You – who always walk without thinking about me. You – who always straightforward with everything. You told me to be like you. You told me to close my ears if everyone talked bad about me. But I is I am. I can’t like that. Particularly, if people say your name in front of me, I can’t pretend that I am okay, because I am not.

It still fresh on my mind when you asked me to have my engagement with you. I still not give you my clear answer until now. And suddenly, things happened in a fast moved. Everything is just in a flash.

You won’t feel the same way as I do. Woman is always from zero to hundred. Can you understand about it? Can’t you wait patiently? I can’t if you want to hurry. But I can if you want to walk with me, slowly. I already told you the reasons and you said that you understand and just want me. Most of people know that you love me so much and it’s me who don’t love you back. Yet, actually, it’s not true. Yes. It’s me who likes you more.

The day you announced that you married a non celebrity, my phone notifications got full. It was almost error due to so many people tried to contact me. Asking me if I am your bride. I got confused. Someone told me that you like my photos in one of social media. And it was a week after I called you. I toss and turn endlessly after I read your post and articles. I want to contact you. I was mad. I was angry. I even didn’t know why I must be angry to you? But it feels that I prefer die rather than knowing you broke the promise. I keep contact you, but I can’t reach you. You must be busy with your woman. And I fall asleep as I wait for you.

It has been hectic days for me. Lucky me, my schedule got cancelled due to my co-star injury. But people can’t stop asking me this and that. Are they even know how my heart hurt each time they say your name on my ears? I decided to keep myself in my room. I won’t to face anyone. I turned off my phone. Even before I click the power off, I check your contact again. My message got blue thick. And you didn’t answer it. Okay. I am okay.

It was so suspicious for me too. After that, you cut contact with me – with your friends too. We wonder, where are you now? What happened to you? Really, you are like a ninja. Disappear after everyone point A or B as your wife. And of course, mention my name in the middle of their conversation. We linked each other, Oppa. Don’t you realize it?

I must back to my life. I am not a non celebrity person. I hate to call myself a celebrity. You know that. You even used those words on your marriage posting. I am glad that you want to make it clear. I clinched.

On the filming site, we get new members. I must adapt well with them. Yet I can’t avoid their questions about you. Were we real? Why you are married another woman? Were we date in real? Sigh. I am tired. One day, they asked me how I feel. I just flash a smile for the answer. And Haha Oppa said that you sent some hats for him. I was glad that it was true. After filming, he asked me if I have meet with you or not. Such a ticklish question!

Anyway, when can I see you in a comfortable way again? I want to ask what happen to you and why with so sudden marriage? Uh, when can I get rid of this greed feeling? I want to know who is the woman that stole your heart in instance? Isn’t it me? You said, if you should marry, it will be with me. Suddenly, you announce your big day to the whole world. Without told me first. I mean, how can you be so mean? At least, tell others if you won’t me know. Do you ever realize that I am the one hurt by yourself? Don’t pretend like I never response your feeling. God!

Now, I am in Jinhae. When the first cherry blossom, you said, you will definitely walk me here. On this pink street, tell the world that I am yours. You will propose me in here. You said. All just you said.

Hey, today I am here. But I only have the rings that you and I exchanged in the small store while we were in Macau, with the tangled up memories as I stand here alone.

Where did it go wrong? What made you dump me? Oh, were we even in relationship? How dare I said that you dumped me. I guess you were happy because that person was better than me and treated you better