The past month had been a difficult month for Seulgi. Rushing around to meet business partners, investors and clients, there wasn’t a day she could take a breather. Although it was her first time in Shanghai, heck her first time overseas, she didn’t even get the luxury to tour the city. All she had were tours of conference halls, meeting rooms and expensive restaurants during the time she spent there.

While not working, the only thing on her mind was Wendy, whether the girl was fine, whether she had eaten, whether she had a change of heart. Wendy, Wendy, Wendy. Try as hard as she could, she just couldn’t get the other girl out of her mind. Thoughts of Wendy were like a parasite, taking up all the free space in her mind. That is why every day, Seulgi watches the sun rise and the skies brighten on her bed, tormented by these thoughts. Every day, she gets out of bed, (because waking up isn’t applicable), slaps on make-up to cover her panda eyes and drag herself through meetings.

By the end of one month, Seulgi was back again on the private jet, carrying additional eye luggage (because eye bags were an understatement) and blood-shot eyes. The whole month, she had been waiting for this day but now, she could only feel the sense of dread pooling in her stomach. She was afraid, afraid to come back and face Wendy. Would the girl forgive and accept her again? Could things go back to what it was like before? Or has the girl moved on, move on with some guy that could give her happiness, unlike her? Her thoughts, the demons, were wreaking havoc again.

--

The moment she got off the plane, she was greeted by Secretary Wang, her father’s secretary. Apparently her father still had some unfinished business with her. Confronting Wendy had to wait, and Seulgi didn’t know whether she was glad or sad at the turn of events. The car came to a stop in front of the funeral parlor and her blood ran cold. She turned to look at Secretary Wang, as if to ask if she had made a mistake. The secretary shook her head.

Straggling her way into the parlor, her father was there, looking much younger, with lesser white hair and wrinkles on his face. Smiling, and it was the most sincere smile she had ever seen him put on. Walking nearer, the man gleamed so brightly at certain angles that she felt that he was unreal, and why is it that she could only see the man’s head and shoulders? She realized then that it's a photo. Her father’s photo. Her father’s funeral. This is Kang Taekyung’s funeral.

Seulgi didn’t cry as she kneed down to pay respects to the people who came to send her father off. She didn’t cry when she went to put one last flower on his coffin. She didn’t cry when the soil was being poured in, gradually but surely covering the coffin, sealing it up in the ground. She just didn’t, couldn’t cry. To be honest, her father was simply to her, a blood-related stranger. ‘Father’ was just a term for her to address him by; there were no emotional attachments to the word, unlike for other people with normal families, and she envied them for that. Unlike her, her half-brother Seungyoon and her ‘father’s’ wife had been bawling their eyes out. She wondered if they were really that sad, or if it was just for show. She didn’t have to wait long for her answer.

“Aish all that crying made my eye all swollen and my make-up smeared seriously. Even till the last minute he had to be a nuisance.” Kang Taekyung’s wife said, poking her eye bags which were formed because of all the crying. She turned around to stare at Seulgi, who was staring at her in disbelief. “Moa. At least I made an effort to cry. You didn’t even bother. But of course, why do I expect so much from the fakie?” She snorted. “Run along now; don’t let me see you again. Especially on the day the will is announced. Don’t you even dare to show your stinky face there to try to claim even a cent of the inheritance. Don’t think you can get the company just because you were the president for one month.”

She heard Seungyoon snorted. “Umma please, we are a democratic society now, you can’t not let her come. But of course, fakie I hope you do come.” He smirked. “Because I want to see how you get humiliated when he leaves nothing behind for you.”

Seulgi ignores all their snide comments and leaves the room, leaves the place, leaves those s, wanting to put as much distance between her and them as possible. She suddenly felt sorry for the man. It seemed like no one had actually really liked him and only stayed around because of money. She wondered if his so-called wife and son had actually known he had a coronary heart disease, if they actually cared for him, or if they knew but did nothing about it. She didn’t know which was worse and all the thinking was making her fatigued brain hurt, so she got in the car. No point brooding about a dead man now, it wasn’t going to bring him back to life anyway.

--

She found herself in front of a small cottage, like one where you would imagine the three bears to live in in ‘Goldilocks and the Three Bears”. She walked into the cottage, and was surprised to see three sets of everything like in the story, three sets of chairs, utensils and bowls filled with soup. What is this, is she supposed to be Goldilocks? Before she could process what was going on, Seulgi heard footsteps nearing her and she turned towards the source of the footsteps, not believing what or who she saw.

“Um… umma?” Seulgi asked in disbelief, running towards her mother’s open arms, the woman already waiting for it.

She could feel the woman her hair gently, and she missed the feeling of being in her mother’s arms, safe and sound. “My pretty child, how have you been?” Her mother asked, voice still as gentle and warm as before, like how she remembered it to be.

Pulling away, she noticed a man standing behind her mother. The man who had his photo framed and his body buried just this afternoon, her father. He looked way better, his cheeks rosy with life, the wrinkles and white hair gone. Alternating her glance between the two, Seulgi asked, “Am I dead?”

Her mother laughed. “No darling, we are just visiting for a while. We are here because your father has some things he wants to say, right, yeobo?”

The man nodded. Even as a ghost he was still aloof. “Well we can’t tell you what to do with your life from now on, but I hope you heed my advice. Keep Bae Joohyun close to you, she will help you a lot in the future. That was why I arranged the engagement between you and her.”

Her mother clicked her tongue and knocked her father’s head. “Aish this man, do you want our daughter to end up like you?!” She then turned to Seulgi, warm smile on her face. “Don’t listen to your appa, you are old enough to make your own decisions. The most important thing is,” she moved Seulgi’s hands over to her heart, “Follow your heart.”

“If you want to follow your heart, you must be prepared to make sacrifices and be able to protect those you love. Don’t end up like me.” Her father said, a hint of regret evident in his voice.

Her mother reached out to land a few assuring pats on the man’s back before turning her attention back to Seulgi again. “My baby, I’m so sorry, but we have to go now.”

“No, umma please don’t go.” Seulgi held on to her mother’s arm as if her own life depended on it.

“Don’t worry dear, we will all be reunited again, okay? In the meantime go and live your life to the fullest, love sincerely and laugh lots.” Tears were glistering in her mother’s eyes and Seulgi was sure her own eyes were like that too. Her mother turned to look at her father, as if urging him to do something. His hesitation was obvious, but in the end he sighed and stepped towards Seulgi, enveloping the girl in a tight hug.

“Mianhae, my daughter. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to protect you, letting you suffer by yourself. But I promise you, the future will be better, I promise.” He pulled himself out of the embrace, smiled and patted her on the head gently. “Now go and become an awesome person, baby bear!”

The baby bear thrashed awake, looking around her surroundings to find any traces of her parents. None. She was still in her own bedroom, in her bear pyjamas and under her covers. She dropped her head down in disappointment and took deep breaths to even out her breathing. Wiping her clammy hands against her pants, she felt droplets of tears falling on her hands. Soon, she couldn’t even see anything anymore, as her eyes filled up with tears, distorting and covering her vision. No matter how much she cried, the tightness in her chest just won’t go away. She was officially an orphan. Not that her father did anything worthy of his title, but at least there was someone she could go to if she needed help. Now, she was really all by herself. And the tears just won’t stop.

She wasted so much time hating her father that it blinded her to the fact that he wouldn’t be there forever for her to hate, that he was just another person who needed care and concern, that he was lacking it. Maybe, if Seulgi had realized all this earlier, they could help each other heal their wounds and then maybe, she wouldn’t be having all these regrets now. She regretted not treating her father well enough, regretted not cherishing him enough, and regretted that her father probably brought all these regrets along with him to the grave just because they were both too afraid to accept each other’s help.

“I’m so sorry, appa, I really am…” Seulgi pulled her knees to herself, hugging them tightly.

A/N: and this, everybody, is my favorite chapter for this whole story (unless i write something i like even more in the later chapters lol) 

and reason is because this is something really close to my heart so yep

so everyone pls cherish your parents and treat them well! they may be naggy and controlling at times but it's all for our own good!!

don't realize the importance of something only when you have lost it...

but yeah sorry for this distraction away from anything that's seuldy next chapter will be sweet joyrene that is so sweet you will feel like you have just eaten 5000 red velvet ice cream cakes (I SCREAM YOU SCREAM GIMME THAT GIMME THAT ICE CREAM)

so eggcited for the live stages?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!