Sungmin’s big day as an elf for the mall came. He was dressed in a green outfit with pointy shoes and he looked over at Donghae.

    “You know, when you said I was going to be an elf, I didn’t think you would be one too.”

    “Shut up and come take a selfie with me!”

    Sungmin rolled his eyes and went to take a picture with his best friend.

    “Now let’s get out there! We have kids to make happy!” Donghae smiled.

    The two headed out to the front of the mall in their green tights, bulky shirts, and goofy pointy hats. They approached ‘Santa’s Throne’ and greeted all the kids with big smiles.

    “Are you kids ready to meet Santa?” Donghae asked earning cheers.

    “Well, here he is!” Sungmin smiled and the two held their hands out pointing toward the throne.

    The man playing Santa emerged from behind the throne and greeted all the little children as they cheered. Sungmin and Donghae held their stances as they looked around into the crowd. Sungmin noticed someone familiar standing in the middle of the line. Donghae looked over at his best friend and noticed he was spaced out and wasn’t in character at all.

    “ELF NUMBER TWO!” Donghae shouted, catching Sungmin’s attention.

    “Oh right!” Sungmin snapped back into character and went to let the first kid up onto Santa’s lap.

    Donghae came to stand next to Sungmin and hit him whispering, “What’s wrong with you?”

    Sungmin looked back into the line, “Kyuhyun’s here.”

    “Well don’t let it affect your performance.” Donghae replied before standing next to ‘Santa’ again.

    Sungmin huffed air out and blew his bangs as he let kids through one by one. Closer and closer Kyuhyun got to the front of the line and Sungmin wasn’t prepared for it. He watched as the taller male was next in line and ‘Santa’ called for the next person. Sungmin opened the rope and let Kyuhyun through.

    “Well, you’re a big kid!” ‘Santa’ laughed. “Now what do you want for Christmas?”

    “Elf number two.”

    Sungmin heard that and turned around, wide eyed.

    ‘Santa’ laughed a bit nervously while trying to stay in character, “W-Well then. E-Elf number two, get up here!”

    Sungmin slowly approached the stand and stood next to ‘Santa’.

    “It seems like you’re wanted this Christmas.” He said.

    Kyuhyun jumped off his lap and approached me.

    I looked back at the man in the fat suit, “I-I don’t want to.”

    “Nonsense!” ‘Santa’ laughed, “If that’s what he wants, give him what he wants for Christmas! That’s what Christmas is about!”

    “Getting what you-”

    “Next!”

____________________________________________________________________________________________

    Sungmin threw the pointy hat on the ground, “Damn it, Kyuhyun! Every minute I’m not out there is a minute I’m not getting paid! What do you want!?”

    “I already told Santa, I want Elf number two.”

    Sungmin scratched his head annoyed, “Seriously?”

    Kyuhyun smiled, “You made my Christmas wish come true.”

    “You’re ridiculous.” Sungmin moved away from him.

    Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, “Look, I just wanted to apologise for last night.”

    “You should be apologising for today!” Sungmin shouted.

    “Sungmin, listen, about what you said last night-”

    “What about it, Kyuhyun?” Sungmin asked aggravated, “I thought we already agreed there’s nothing to talk about.”

    “But there is!” Kyuhyun shouted.

    “What!?”

    “I don’t know, my feelings for you?” Kyuhyun yelled angrily.

    Sungmin calmed and shook his head slightly, “There is nothing between us Kyuhyun and there never will be. Why can’t you just accept that?”

    He looked at the floor, “Because I don’t want to.”

    Sungmin sighed, “Look, you’re wasting my time. I need to-”

    “What’s your Christmas wish?”

    “What?”

    Kyuhyun repeated himself, “What’s your Christmas wish? Everyone has one. You know mine and now I want to know yours.”

    “You’re crazy.”

    “Maybe.” Kyuhyun replied, “But crazy people make me do crazy things.”

    Sungmin crossed his arms and looked away, “My Christmas wish…” He was going to give a sarcastic answer but knew Kyuhyun wouldn’t let him get back to work if the answer was fake or rushed. He thought for a moment and his face dropped, “M-My Christmas wish is to finally s-set my moms a-ashes free.”

    Kyuhyun’s face softened, “W-Where?”

    “Huh?”

    “Where did she want them?”

    Sungmin had a lump in his throat, “Gyeongbokgung Palace.”

    “Gwanghwamun?” Kyuhyun asked.

    Sungmin nodded, “She loved that place. It’s where her and my father met.”

    Kyuhyun stared at the boy as a tear ran down the smaller boy’s face. “W-Why have you kept her ashes for all this time?”

    Sungmin sniffled and kept his head low, “I-I don’t know h-how to let go.”

    Kyuhyun moved toward Sungmin and wrapped his arms around him, tightly hugging him, “Are you ready to let go?”

Sungmin didn’t answer, instead he let all his tears out and hugged Kyuhyun back while the taller male moved his hand up to pet Sungmins hair.

Kyuhyun was getting a bit choked up himself but still managed to speak, “I-I’ll take you.”

    Sungmin pulled away and looked up at Kyuhyun, calming himself, “Y-You will?”

    Kyuhyun nodded, “If that’s what you want. Just let me know when you’re ready and we can go together.”

    Sungmin hugged Kyuhyun again, “Y-You know, you’re always telling me I-I’m the sweet one b-but I think you are.”

    Kyuhyun laughed and hugged him back. He looked up and saw Donghae standing there.

    “Yah!” Donghae shouted, making Sungmin pull away, “What the hell did you do to him!?”

    Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, “Why must you accuse me?”

    Donghae checked Sungmin, “Did he hurt you?”

    Sungmin laughed and wiped his tears, “N-No. I just was thinking about my mom.”

    Donghae hugged his best friend and glared at Kyuhyun. “Don’t touch him again.”

    Sungmin pulled away from his friend and laughed, “Donghae, it’s alright, really.”

    Donghae stared into his friend's eyes and saw he was telling the truth, “Alright.”

    “Besides, Donghae,” Kyuhyun started, “I’m your doorway back to Eunhyuk.”

    “H-Hey!”

____________________________________________________________________________________________

    Sungmin had decided he was ready. He needed to let go after all these years. He knew the time was right and with Kyuhyun by his side to help him he knew he could do this.

    “It was so romantic.” Sungmin smiled.

    Kyuhyun looked over from the driver's seat, “What was?”

    “How they met.” Sungmin sighed.

    Kyuhyun got out of the parked car and went to open Sungmin's door. Sungmin looked up and swung his feet out the car, getting out. Kyuhyun closed the door behind him and put his arm over Sungmin’s shoulder as they began walking. The snow was lightly blowing and they were dressed warmly, head to toe. Sungmin held his hands in his pockets and Kyuhyun had his arm around the smaller boy.

    They walked down the street and Sungmin started talking again, “My mom was walking down this street when she ran into my father. They literally ran into each other. My mom was walking to work and had some papers in her hand and they went flying. My father helped her pick them up and looked into her eyes. ‘Hyun-Shik’ my dad said. My mother was confused and-” Sungmin paused. How they met, it reminded him of the same way Kyuhyun and Sungmin met.

*SMACK*

He ran straight into, not something, but someone. He didn’t fall to the ground, no. But he did run right into the person’s chest and stood there frozen for a moment or two. Until he blinked and came back to his senses, did he take a few steps back. Without looking up at the person, he bowed and moved to the left, only to notice, the person before him moved in front of him again. Sungmin mumbled a soft, “Sorry”, and moved to the right, as did the other person in front of him. Sungmin scrunched his eyebrows together and looked up at the other person who had a small, warm, yet slightly creepy, smile on their face.

Sungmin blinked a few times, “I’m sorry sir, I-”

“Kyuhyun.” The taller man said.

“What?” Sungmin asked.

Kyuhyun smiled at the shorter man and held out his hand, “My name is Kyuhyun. Cho Kyuhyun to be exact.”

Sungmin looked away from the taller man, not bothering to shake hands with him, “Lee Sungmin.”

    “Sungmin?”

    The smaller boy looked up at Kyuhyun who was now in front of him and caught his eyes.

    “Are you okay?”

    Sungmin looked away, “Y-Yeah. Sorry, I was just thinking.”

    Kyuhyun smiled sweetly and the two began walking again. Kyuhyun slipped his left hand into Sungmin’s right and Sungmin stopped to look up at him. Kyuhyun intertwined their fingers and slipped their hands in his coat pocket, continuing to walk again without saying anything.

    “There you go again.” Sungmin said.

    Kyuhyun looked over, “What do you mean?”

    “Doing things couples do.”

    Kyuhyun sighed, “Aish. Can’t you just accept my friendship without questioning it?”

    Sungmin shut up and looked up at where they were. They had arrived at the Gwanghwamun gate. Sungmin took a deep breath and pulled out a necklace from his left pocket. At the end of the chain held a glass see through tube and inside were the ashes of Sungmin’s loved one.

    Kyuhyun squeezed his hand, making him look up at the taller, “It’s okay, I’m right here.”

    Sungmin nodded and looked back at the necklace. He took a deep, shaky breath and felt a tear roll down his cheek. He unscrewed the cap of the tube and closed his eyes before tipping the tube upside down. The ashes poured out of the tube and flew with the wind down Gwanghwamun street. Sungmin let the necklace fall from his hands and heard it shatter against the sidewalk.

    Kyuhyun tried to bite back his own tears, seeing Sungmin’s sadness. He knew how hard this was for him. He wanted to comfort him but didn’t want to be too pushy. Sungmin took a deep breath as he opened his eyes again, he turned to Kyuhyun and looked up at him. Kyuhyun could tell he was holding back everything.

    “If you need to cry, I’m here.”

    “I-I don’t want to.” Sungmin said biting his lip.

    Kyuhyun pulled up Sungmin’s chin and made him look at him, “Sungmin, do you know why I came with you?”

    Sungmin slowly shook his head.

    “Because I care about you and I care about your feelings. If you need to cry, I don’t want you to cry alone.” Kyuhyun sniffled, “I’m right here for you.”

    Sungmin lost it and flew into Kyuhyun’s arms, crying harshly in the taller boy’s shoulder. He didn’t care how many stares he was getting from the people walking around, all he wanted to do was cry and if someone was offering to be there while he did, he wouldn’t say no.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

    “Is there anywhere you wanted to go? Anything you wanted to do?” Kyuhyun asked the boy sitting in the seat next to him.

    Sungmin shook his head sadly and Kyuhyun felt bad. He knew this was a rough time for Sungmin and wanted to do something for him but what? Then it hit him.

    Kyuhyun stared the car and pulled out of the parking lot. He began driving down the road and eventually got on the highway. Sungmin looked up and noticed they were driving up the busy road.

    “Where are we going?” He asked looking up at Kyuhyun.

    Kyuhyun looked down at the shorter boy for a moment before looking back at the road. “A place.”

    Sungmin didn’t question it any further and stared out the window. Kyuhyun took a bunch of roads until they ended up on the top of a hill. Kyuhyun found the usual parking spot he always parks in and brought the car to a final halt. He looked over at Sungmin who was sleeping. He smiled at the tired boy and poked him until he woke up.

    Sungmin opened his eyes and looked around, “W-Where are we?”

    Kyuhyun smiled, “Get out and you’ll see.”

    The two exited the car and met in front of the hood. Kyuhyun held out his hand for Sungmin to take but Sungmin looked to the right instead and noticed all the city lights. He began walking toward the car railing and looked out at the ginormous city, leaving Kyuhyun with his hand out, rejected. He looked toward the smaller boy and joined him by the railing.

    Kyuhyun looked down at Sungmin and noticed the happy sort of look on his face. Sungmin was happy but was also sad and tired. From where they were they could see the entire city of Seoul and all the lights that blinked different colors. Most the places had their Christmas lights up and Sungmin thought it was one of the prettiest things.

    Kyuhyun went to put his arm around Sungmin. “It’s so pretty.” Sungmin smiled. When the shorter boy spoke, Kyuhyun withdrew his hand and rubbed his neck awkwardly.

    “Y-Yeah.”

    “Why did you bring me here?” Sungmin asked staring out at the city.

    “It’s a place my parents used to take me every December to see all the lights.” Kyuhyun replied. He went to grab Sungmin’s hand when Sungmin crossed his arms instead, making Kyuhyun withdraw again.

    “It’s amazing from up here. You can see all of Seoul.” Sungmin said.

    “Y-Yup.”

    Kyuhyun took a deep breath before trying something else. He leaned his face closer to Sungmin’s and was about to kiss his cheek when Sungmin turned his head, making their noses touch. Sungmin blinked a few times and took a step to the right.

    “W-What are you doing?”

    Kyuhyun blushed, “Oh, u-um… Y-Your hair… I-It smells good…” He replied stupidly.

    “Wha-”

    “Look!” Kyuhyun pointed out at the city of Seoul and ran a little closer.

    Sungmin stayed behind and stared at the taller boy from behind, tilting his head at the others actions. ‘Was he trying to kiss me again?’ Sungmin blushed at his own thoughts and looked up at Kyuhyun again.

    “Think about it, Sungmin, it’s not as crazy as it seems.”

    Yesung’s words.

Sungmin shook the thought of out his head while Kyuhyun hugged his arms close to his body. Kyuhyun stared out at the night sky and took a deep breath, letting it go. ‘What the hell was I just trying to do?’ He asked himself, ‘Cho Kyuhyun, you .’ He leaned down and picked up some snow from the ground, trying to making a snowball in his hand, though the snow was too light. He was about the throw the soft snow when his arm was stopped by Sungmin.

Kyuhyun looked over his shoulder and turned around to face the smaller boy. “You shouldn’t waste snow like that.” Sungmin said, smiling.

“What’s it matter?” Kyuhyun asked, relaxing his arm, “It’s everywhere anyway.”

Sungmin placed his hand over the snow in Kyuhyun’s hand and smiled up at him, “Every drop of snow is like a tiny little star that touches the ground. Something for our eyes to see but something impossible to catch, something our hands shouldn’t hold.” Sungmin moved his hands from the snowball and cupped his hands underneath Kyuhyun’s. He tilted his head and blew the flakes out of Kyuhyun’s hands, “Something we should cherish.”

Sungmin’s hands were still cupped around Kyuhyun and the taller boy turned his hands around, to hold Sungmin’s cold ones. He held his fingers in his and stared down at Sungmin, his eyes filled with passion. Sungmin blushed and looked away.

“Sungmin?”

He looked up at the younger boy, “Yeah?”

Kyuhyun’s heart was pounding, “Tell me that you feel something too.”

Sungmin blinked a few times, “W-What?”

Kyuhyun stared down at him, “Sungmin, I like you and I know you feel something for me.”

“K-Kyu-”

“No, listen to me.” Kyuhyun’s eyes never left Sungmin’s and vise versa, “When we kissed the other day, I felt more than just confusion, I felt like I needed you more and more and… I know you felt it too. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have kissed me like you did.” Kyuhyun took a deep breath, “Tell me you felt something.”

“Kyuhyun, I like Nao-”

“Damn it, forget her for a minute!” Kyuhyun shouted, “You and I. That’s all I want you to think about right now. What did you feel that day?”

Sungmin bit his lip and looked away.

“If you tell me you felt nothing, I’ll leave you be.” Kyuhyun added.

Sungmin looked back up at Kyuhyun and realized he was serious. Sungmin slowly looked away while slipping his hands out of Kyuhyun’s, “I didn’t feel anything.”

Kyuhyun’s heart shattered but he nodded, “O-Okay, I-I understand.” Kyuhyun bit back tears and he took a deep, shaky breath, “Can I take you home?”

____________________________________________________________________________________________

    The two were parked outside of Sungmin’s apartment complex. Kyuhyun stared blankly at the steering wheel while Sungmin stared at the dashboard. He knew he had hurt Kyuhyun’s feelings and didn’t want to make things worse.

    “T-Thank you for bringing me home.” Sungmin said.

    Kyuhyun was silent and didn’t look at the other male, making Sungmin sigh.

    “Have a good night, Kyuhyun.”

Sungmin exited the car and Kyuhyun watched as Sungmin disappeared into his apartment. He sighed and finally blinked out the tears he had been holding back.

“Damn it, Lee Sungmin.” Kyuhyun said to himself, “Why do you make me love you?”