Sun is shining brightly. Birds are singing gracefully. Flowers are blooming beautifully and I'm so happy! >U<

I can’t believe that HE TEXT ME!!!! I keep on spazzing last night, looking at that one line over and over and over again. I will never ever delete that text, ever!

I’m so happy and worried at the same time. What if I become stiff in front of him? Or even become overactive and annoying? Lee Hayi get a grip! You will not make him scared of you. Hang on!

I am ready for the new day! I even try to sync my clothes to him. For instance, I wear a hat! Well, I don’t intend to wear it all day. I’ll just wear it and put it somewhere when we’re practicing. Don’t ask me how, but I also sync-ing my clothes to him. He’ll be wearing black cardigan, so I choose black dress. I know I’m so creepy I just can’t help it~~~

When the training starts, I still have difficulties harmonizing myself with Hongseok-oppa, and he seems to be off tune too many times. Doesn’t he suppose to practice harder than me?

I keep on asking Hanbin to change the song, as I think this won’t go as smooth as we want it to be. There are lots of good songs really. If he really wants Disney’s song, we can choose some classics like “A Whole New World” or “Beauty and The Beast”. There are even more to choose from if he wants something current and popular.

I just can’t argue with him with the way he calls my name and persists to use Let It Go, as he thinks it would be really cool if we pull it off. Aish this guy, how can I stay mad at him?

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It’s already late and everybody went home, well except Hanbin of course. He works really hard finding great arrangement for this song, which makes me more confused of his reason for choosing this song. We can avoid all this hard work and sleep more if we choose easier song.

I bought his favorite Sour Cream Pringles from convenience store near YG Building and went straight to recording room. Finding him in his favorite spot, not moving, just keep stomping his feet out of his desperation.

“Hanbin-ah, you will work yourself to death. Here, eat some.” I hand him over my plastic bag, consists of three tubes of Pringles, canned coffee and some mineral waters.

“Ah, you know my favorite Pringles’ flavor, kamsahamida, Hayi-ya.” He stops his work and starts munching his favorite snack. He’s quite hungry I guess, from the way he finish that food, and start opening the next one.

“I’m trying so hard to make it easier for you to sing it, Hayi-ya, also for Hongseok-hyung and Donghyuk as well. I want them to shine. I hate losing as much as you are, you know.” He smiles to me, but I know that he’s really tired. He should be sleeping right now. I sigh.

"Seriously, shat is with this song? Do you really like it?"

"I do, Hayi-ya. It's really encouraging and positive. I hope that this song will inspire my other members to keep fighting and pursuing their dream. Because I know this is hard for them as it is hard for me" Hanbin explain to me with his eager and determine look. He looks so mature and considerate of others. I’m stunned by his words.

“Hayi-ya? Did I say something wrong? Are you okay?” He asks me when I don’t react whatsoever for a good 30 seconds.

“Ani, Hanbin-ah. Your words shock me. I know that you are a good leader, but I would never thought that you think of something this far. I respect you so much. To think that I’m one month older than you but I can hardly take care of myself makes me ashamed of myself.” I smile at him a little. I can’t really beat this guy; he’s so determine and caring at the same time. Can I be with someone that amazing? Can he like me? This ordinary me?

“You flatter me a lot, Hayi-ya. It’s not that. I just want them to feel relaxed and motivated. As you know, this survival show is hard for every one of us. I don’t want them to give up just yet.”

“Who said that you can’t take care of yourself? You pick yourself up very well when your group disbands. There are lots of people saying bad things about you because they envy that you debuted so fast, and sometimes they say that in front of your face. It took great patient and self-control, I can tell you that.” He smiles and pats my head.

“Let’s go home, Hayi-ya. I promise to take you home before, right? Let me take you home tonight.” Hanbin stands and starts to pack his stuffs. I just can’t believe it.

Me. Stuck in my chair. Still processing his words. His beautiful words. How can he be so kind? How can he find good qualities about me when it’s so hard for me to find it myself? I started to tear up a little, but quickly wipe them away and hoping that he didn’t see that. Lucky me, he didn’t.

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Our trip seems to be so fast. We talk about a lot of things. He told me about his SMTM experiences, his new acquaintances, friends, and mentors. He also asked about my previous experience working with Epik High in their song, It’s Cold. He told me that he is currently working with them for their comeback. That would be so epik! I mean epic, of course~~

“So how does it feel to work with Epik High-hyungs?” Hanbin asks me enthusiastically.

“Truthfully, I’m very nervous. That’s the first collaboration I experience since I join YG.”I cup my cheeks remembering those days.

“My voice even went out of tune several times at concert and live performances, but it get better every time. They treated me kindly, and sometimes I askes Bommie-onnie for tips, since she also featured in one of their song as well. I believe that you will do much better than I am, Hanbin-ah.” I smile and fist my hand to show him my support to him.

“Thank you, Hayi-ya. I’ll let you listen to my song when it finished, I promised.” Hanbin says that proudly.

“My song? What do you mean ‘my song’?” I tilt my head left, confused.

“Well, I co-arranged one of the song, so actually that’s not 100% my song, but still. I think it will come out nicely. There a lot of cursing though.” He laugh and scratch the back of his head.

“You are so amazing, Kim Hanbin! First you arranged Winner-oppa title track, and now this? You are really full of talent, aren’t you?” I keep nodding my head and patting his shoulder.

“Stop complimenting me, Hayi-ya! You will give me a big head if you don’t stop that. I won’t look so good that way.” We laugh together with his remarks and suddenly I realize that we’ve arrived at my house.

“Thank you for walking me home, Hanbin-ah. Good luck with your co-arrangement song. I can’t wait to hear it.”

“You will, soon. It’s called ‘Born Hater’. You will love it. Good night, Hayi-ya.”

“Good night, charismatic leader, BI. Ah, for the record, you would look just as nice with your big head. Bye now.”

 I run to my door and go inside quickly. I’m so embarrassed and I can’t believe that I have the guts to tell him that. Before I close my door, I look at him and I see him blush, heavily. I don’t know if I am imagining that, but I clearly see that.

Oh, good. This will be another sleepless night.