I'm having a great time in Busan, with Epik High-oppas, Suhyun and Chanyuk. I came to Busan several time before, but having several performances while feeling like having vacation is the best feeling. I love YG very much! Well, I still miss Hanbin because they're in Seoul right now, resting after their performances in Japan and preparing for their upcoming debut. We talked on the phone several times a day, in secret of course. I can't have YG staffs know about our relationship, though most of YG artists already know about us.

-----

After finishing Epik High-oppas concert, we are having a family picnic together. Epik High-oppas gratefully thanking us for helping them, and Tablo oppa's wife, Hyejung onnie, is making us a lot of foods, delicious food! As we're enjoying the gathering, Mithra-oppa seems to be noticing my blank stare from time to time, so he decides to sit next to me.

"Do you like the food, Hayi-ya?"

"Of course, oppa! I ate so much that I'm afraid to meet Ssabu-nim next week." I smile widely at him, and he laughs at my answer.

"Well, you look rather distracted to me. You're thinking about someone quite far away, aren't you?" I blushed as he points that out bluntly.

"You actually have the same look as I am, oppa."

"I'm having a slightly different look than you, Hayi-ya. Because I'm waiting for someone that will come in several hours, while you're thinking of someone that's very busy practicing as we speak." Mithra-oppa wiggles his eyebrows.

"Someone? Who do you mean, oppa?"

"You'll meet her later, Hayi-ya. I'll introduce you to her. Stop changing topic now, so how's he?"

"Ah, he's okay, oppa. Practicing and preparing like a perfectionist he is. I just miss him."

"I understand. He's a very hardworking guy. I respect him for being such a genious in his young age."

"Yes, he is. Sometimes I feel like ashamed at him, oppa. I supposed to be her sunbae, but he's clearly better than me at almost everything! With their debut preparation and me being dragged in my comeback. Aish. I feel like a failure." I sigh hard.

"You are definitely not a failure, Hayi-ya. If he ever heard you said that, he'll be really angry."

"I know oppa. I'll try harder." I smile at his kind words. How cound someone so masculine and cool can give such a warm comforting word.

"That's it! You're being a great help to us, Hayi-ya. Also with AKMU. Don't ever think like that anymore, arra? You should support each other so that you can go to Yang-sajangnim and tell him that you guys are together."

"I hope that day come soon, oppa. Thanks for your kind words."

-----

Right after our picnic, I met Mithra-oppa's girlfriend. She's really pretty and nice. Mithra-oppa is proudly introducing her to everyone. I'm rather envious at them, they fit together really well. After meeting her, I go straight to my room and call Hanbin right away. It's already past 10 but I'm sure that he's still in practice room. I miss him so much, but after my conversation with Mithra-oppa, I miss him even more.

Not more than three seconds, he pick up his phone and greet me with a very tired voice.

"Baby~"

"Annyong, Hanbin-ah. You sound really tired, everything okay?"

"All is good, Hayi-ya. We're preparing really hard. Yang-sajangnim wants us to debut as soon as possible, but of course still maintaining YG standard. Hence, double speed. I'm not complaining whatsoever, I just miss you, Hayi-ya."

"I miss you too, Hanbin-ah. But you have your responsibility there. We can always contact each other, rite?"

"I know, I know. But I want to meet you in person. I want us to go on a date. I want you to eat lunch with me and all of my members. But I guess it's too much to ask." He sighs lowly.

"We can manage that, Hanbin-ah. We'll go out together with all of your members next week. What do you think about that?"

"I like that. But can I meet you at new year's eve?"

"Wae? Hanbin-ah, you know that I'll be still performing in AKMU's concert. I can't teleport myself there, can't I?"

"But I can."

"No! Nononononononono~~ You'll be too tired, Hanbin-ah."

"I'm not that tired, Hayi-ya. I can have one day off, can't I?"

"Yes, but I'd rather you take a good rest than flying all the way here."

"I can sleep there." I sense a cheeky smile with that words

"No."

"But, Hayi-ya~~" He whines as he's upset that I won't let him come to Busan.

"No buts, Kim Hanbin. I want you to rest. Not to mention you'll risk people finding out that's we're together."

"Can you send me your singing and new year's greeting instead?"

"Arasso, so you won't go here, right?"

"Uhm. Ah, Hayi-ya I need to go now. Kimbab-hyung is making a mess, again. I love you, Hayi-ya." He makes a smooch voice, and hangs up on me immidiately.

"Aish, this boy."

Actually, his answer makes me worry that he'll go to Busan, since he's kind of persistant. But I hope that he'll be really tired and decided not to go here.

I want him to come, though.

But I don't want him to be tired.

This feeling is really complicated.

-----

After resting and making myself a tourist and walk around Busan at 29th and 30th, I feel so refreshed and energized to be on the stage again. I'm also very happy that Chanyuk and Suhyun have arrived to Busan and we had a night out together eating Daeji Guk Bap. We're so sorry Ssabu-nim~

"So, we'll be reharsing in the morning, right?"

"I guess so. Do you want that, Hayi-ya?" Chanyuk asks and immidiately take the meat out of my bowl.

"I do want that, Chanyuk~ Aish this kid."

"You can't eat too many of this, you know. Ssabu-nim will be very angry at you. I'm helping you here, Hayi-ya."

"Who will tell him that we're eating Daeji Guk Bap right now? He's won't know anyway."

"Your 2 kilos weight gain will give it away directly, you know?" He laughs at loud and stop right away when Suhyun pinches his arm.

"Yah! You shouldn't talk about a lady's weight, oppa. It's a sensitive issue."

"Okay okay I'll stop. Jeez, you care about her than your own oppa, Suhyunnie~" and both of us laugh while hugging each other, making Chanyuk squint his eyes and shake his head.

-----

As we walk back to our hotel, I stay with Suhyun for a while. I told her what Hanbin said to me two days ago.

"I really can't believe that oppa. Do you think he'll be here, onnie?"

"I don't know, Suhyunnie. I want to meet him but I don't want him to come here. Weird right?"

"I know it! Being in relationship with a fellow artist is hard, isn't it? With all the secrecy and schedule clashes, not to mention fan. Good luck onnie." She pats my back with a playful smirk.

"You like Jinhwan-oppa, Suhyunnie! Won't you want to be with him anymore because it's hard?"

"Umm, if you put it that way~ I don't really sure onnie. Do you think I should stop liking him?"

"Can you?"

"Well I don't know. But who knows, feeling changes just as people. Maybe I'll end up with Sam instead."

"Yah! You little player! What's with that Sam?"

"Jangnan, onnie~~~ You know I'm a trustworthy girl, right?" She blinks so many times and attempts to do aegyo on me, sadly it works.

"Aish this girl. Go to sleep now, or we'll be late for rehearsal tomorrow" and she goes to her room after saying goodbye to me.

After she left, I lay in my bad and think about her words. I know that she's playing around with me, but it seems to have something real in it. My relationship with Hanbin is quite difficult, not that we don't care for each other enough, but we barely have time for each other, not to mention that we need to be discreet about us being together. I don't know what will happen when Yang-sajangnim finds out before we say that to him ourself.

Maybe things are much easier if one of us is not a plain senior high school student, or if both of us are.

I drifted myself to sleep with this kind of thinking. Hopefully it's just me being overdramatic.

Hopefully.

-----

Long time no see, everyone. Hayi's graduating and iKON is 'confirmed' to be debuted in June. Oh God~