Comforting

Weeks have passed and things haven't changed much. We are all busy working on the new album material, especially Taekyung, and of course he doesn't know how to make time for Minyu. She spends most of her day at the orphanage and at night she studies. She decided to take the exam to get a primary teacher degree, something that could help her to make some income.

Taekyung is so immersed in his work that he hasn't even noticed that, and the few chances they have to spend together, he's cold as ice to her. Not that it's weird for him to be like that, but it would be nice if he could show her that she matters to him. Even I know she matters to him, but he still treats her as if she should know. And if he's not treating her coldly or assuming she has to live following him as a fan, they are bickering. I know that's mostly my fault because I do make time to spend with her, like he should do.

During breaks, I run to see her at the orphanage and to play with the kids who have accepted me completely. At night I try to help her study as I keep working on a song or something. During our days off I make sure to make plans that include Taekyung but he always ditches us for work. I feel like punching him every time he does because I can see the hurt in her expression.

Doesn't he know how to treat a girl? Moreover, doesn't he know how to treat his girlfriend?

If I can make time in our busy schedule to be with her, as a friend, how is that he can't do the same? We live under the same roof and he still treats her like that. It's like he takes her for granted. He expects that she'll always be there, waiting. I thought he understood when I told him he had to hold on to her, but once he reached her he forgot to keep doing it. That's not how it works.

I hate him right now because he's hurting her and I don't care that he's doing it unconsciously I still hate him. He should know how lucky he is. Jeremy and I were left heartbroken for him, we helped him to reach Minyu and now he's doing this? Do we all matter that little to him?

I feel like running to his room and punch him in the nose when I find Minyu outside, sitting on her own around the tree, clearly feeling down. I know it's his fault that she's like this.

"Hi there," I say sitting next to her and demanding her attention.

"Oppa, I didn't hear you coming," she says with an honest smile, but she still looks sad.

"I'm silent as a ninja," I say and she chuckles. "Why are you here all alone? Jeremy and Minam are playing karaoke inside. Don't you wanna join them? I'll do if you say yes," I offer and she chuckles but shakes her head.

"I'm not in the mood for karaoke," she says and I lose my smile as well.

"Do you want me to tell you a story instead?" I propose and her head tilts to her right. Soon her smile is the answer I was hoping for. "There was a boy once who liked a girl very much. He was young and didn't know how to get his feelings across. He once saw the girl he liked by the river, crying on her own. He didn't know what to do to cheer her up, he just knew he couldn't see her crying. Do you wanna know what he did?" I ask and she nods enthusiastically. "He started singing and dancing to get her attention, and then, purposely, he fell into the river. The girl got worried and helped him and once he was out, she started laughing. She cried and laughed at the same time and he offered her his shoulder. The girl cried harder, but she wasn't alone anymore."

"He didn't leave her alone," she says and I nod. "He's really a nice person."

"Why thank you," I say and she takes five seconds to realise I've told her another of my stories. My secrets just slip out of my tongue when I'm with her. "It wasn't my brightest move, but I helped her."

"You're always helping me, too, Oppa. Thank you," she says and I ruffle her hair.

"Of course, aren't we close?" I ask as usual and she smiles wide.

"The closest," she says for the first time and my eyes widen before my heart races in my chest.

"And… and because we are the closest, won't you tell me what's making you feel down?" I question and she loses her smile.

"Hyung-nim." That's no surprise. "I feel like we haven't got a little bit closer since I came back. I had many expectations, you know? But I only feel like we've drifted apart. I feel like I'm only a nuisance for him. I try to give him space and mind my own business because I don't wanna be a troublemaker again, but he only gets mad at me for spending time with my friends. I constantly question if I'm doing something wrong, but everyone tells me I'm not, that I don't even have to ask permission to spend time with friends. When I was in Ghana I made a friend and told her how much I missed Hyung-nim. She asked me about our story and when I told her how I asked permission to love him she said that it didn't work like that, because one doesn't ask permission to love, one just loves. Even if the other person doesn't love you back, you just love. She said that instead of granting me permission Hyung-nim should've told me that."

She speaks fast and holding her breath and that tells me she's been keeping this for too long. I don't know who that friend is, but I totally agree with her. I knew he had given her permission to love her, I never heard the full story, but I knew and thought it was to egotistical of him to say that, but once again, I wasn't surprised.

"She's right, though. What if he had told you that you couldn't love him, what would've you done?" I inquire even if it hurts to say those words.

"I would've still loved him," she replies and I sigh.

"Because that's how it works. No one controls our hearts, not even ourselves." She looks down and I don't like her sad expression, so even knowing that what I'll say will break my own heart, I still carry on. "I'm sure he loves you, Minyu-yah, he's just terrible at showing it. He can write amazing songs, but not even for dear life he can say what he really feels. And if he keeps being a jerk, then I'll be here for you to cheer you up. Hopefully, I won't need to fall into the river but in desperate situations..." I leave the sentence hanging and she laughs, she honestly laughs.

And on the next minute she's hugging me, tightly and warmly, totally taking me by surprise. "Thank you, Oppa. You're the best," she says and my arms slowly wrap around her, pulling her even closer.

Just this moment. Let me have this moment, I pray but as I told the kids, the stars are too far away for our wishes to reach them.

"So this is where you were," a voice startles us and I close my eyes with a heavy sigh.

If the sun had been up, maybe my wish would've reached it. 

Yesterday it was my sister's birthday so I didn't have time to update. Maybe I'll do it again tonight because of cliffhanger kekeke I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Bel, xx