Space

It's been such a good day that I really don't want to go back, because I know he's there. I'm worried about her because she's been so happy but the closer we get home, the more worried she looks. I purposely push back all the things we talked during our ride in the Ferris wheel. I don't want the hopes to rise inside of me just to be crushed again. They might make up now and nothing of what we talked will matter.

I park with a heavy sigh and when I look at the back seat, I see Minam and Jeremy sleeping leaning on each other's shoulder. I chuckle and then. Minyu is also watching them with a smile on her lips.

"Go ahead, I'll take care of them," I say and she seems reluctant.

"I'll help you," she refuses and then gets out to open the door of Minam's side.

She wakes him up but he's still groggy so she helps him inside and I do the same for Jeremy. They had too much fun and too much sugar, I guess. We don't run into Taekyung when we walk inside and guide each of the sleepy boys to their rooms. Not even when we drop Minam, whose room is so close to Taekyung's, we encounter him.

"Do you want tea?" I ask when we close Minam's door.

She nods and we head to the kitchen. Without a word, I pour tea for both of us. I don't need to ask, I know she's nervous and anxious, so I want to help her relax a bit before she goes to him, because she will. She's distracted herself enough, I think.

"Are you gonna go now?" I ask when I notice none of us has tea left. She only nods. "If anything happens, I'll be on the rooftop. And if I'm not there, then I'll be in my room. Don't hesitate to knock at my door," I remind her and she nods with a warm smile.

"Thank you, Oppa," she says and I only smile.

Then she's back on her feet and after a heavy sigh, she goes upstairs. I stay there for a bit longer, wishing her good luck but a part of me also hopes they won't make up. I guess I haven't given up, or maybe after today, after our day together, all my hopes have been exhumed.

I wash the cups and then go upstairs with a new one for me. I don't think I can fall asleep even if I'm tired. My thoughts are too hectic and I still feel my skin tingling with all the emotions of today. It's only when I'm looking at the starry night that I allow myself relive the conversation in the Ferris wheel, her expression, her eyes, her words. Does she realise that I could love her better than Taekyung? Does she know that I fit her better than him? Is she aware that I would do anything for her if she only looked in my direction, if she looked at me?

What did Taekyung do that I didn't? Why did she fall for him when I was always by her side? Why?

I close my eyes and I remember that one day when I told her about our love story. Of what should've happened if he hadn't always butted in. I remember how I told her how things happened time after time and she didn't even realise it was a real story. And then, the most painful part was when I told her about my plans of confessing to her. She said it back, she said she loved me back but she was only going with the flow, she was telling a story and that broke my heart to a whole new extent. Those were the words I wanted to hear, the words I craved but they were as fake as our relationship. It was a taste of what I wanted and it was so sweet but so bitter at the same time. I couldn't put up with that.

And she broke my heart, time after time.

Why am I still here, hoping? Wanting for things to be different? Haven't I learnt my lesson? What's wrong with me?

I don't know for how long I stay there, in the dark, in the cold, alone with my thoughts. It could've been minutes, it could've been days, but I still felt as hopeless as when I came here. I decide it's time to go to bed when I hear fast steps coming in my direction and before I turn around to see who's coming, I hear sobs. I turn around just in time to see Minyu running towards me, her face stained with tears and her arms reach out. I don't think, I just act out of instinct and I step forward to receive her in my arms. I don't know what happened, but I hate seeing her cry. I feel like my own heart is breaking and I just want to comfort her, to wipe the tears away and bring back that beautiful smile of hers.

I don't say anything nor does she, we only hug each other and I let her cry until she's limp in my arms. I pull back and cup her cheeks to see her face, and with my thumbs I wipe the tears away. Her eyes are swollen and bloodshot and it's breaking my heart to see her like this. I don't need to ask, it's clear things went bad.

"If you wanna talk, I'll listen," I offer and she lets out another sob.

"It's over and that's not even the worst part, I don't even feel like it ever began," she cries out hugging me again. She breaking down and I hate seeing her like this. I should go and beat that jerk up so he can see what he's doing. "I thought... I thought that love was enough but it isn't... It isn't," she sobs again and I hug her tighter.

"I'm so sorry, Minyu-yah. I wish you didn't have to learn this in this way," I whisper and she holds on to me even tighter. "But if relationships were easy, then no one would be heartbroken," I muse and she sobs again. I didn't think she had more tears in her. "But as heartbreak is real, so it's moving on. Maybe tomorrow, in a new light, he'll see he made a mistake and ask you to take him back."

She shakes her head and it hurts me that she can't even be positive this time.

"It's over... You don't know what he said, the horrible things he implied. He accused everyone! He treated everyone so badly. My oppa and my friends," she cries and I'm not surprised. He’s never realised whom he hits with his words. "He said... He said that I could go and be a fan of yours now because he didn't want me in his fan club," she carries on and I'm not sure the analogy behind that, but I think it doesn't really mean fan. "I-I told him that I wouldn't be your fan, I couldn't be your fan, because I'm your friend and he got even angrier and shouted he didn't want to see me again. He shouted!" and she's full sobbing again.

I can't believe that idiot. Doesn't he realise Minyu doesn't have any ill intention? I would understand if he slays me. I would understand if he beats me up because I'm spending time with his girlfriend, but he shouldn't treat her like this. She doesn't deserve it. She doesn't even think of me as something else but her friend, for crying out loud. How can one man be so dense?

"I'm sorry, Minyu. I'm so sorry. I know it hurts right now, but you'll be fine," eventually, I add in my mind, hating that she even has to hurt for a minute.

She shakes her head against my chest and I gulp. Does she really think she won't recover from this?

"I'm leaving," she hiccups and I paralyse. No, she doesn't mean she's leaving for real, right? She just came back six weeks ago. No. "I can't live here anymore. I'll hurt too much and it's not fair," she carries on and with paranoia running through my veins I push her back to make her look me in the eyes.

"What do you mean? What about the orphanage? And your exams?" I ask, full panic.

"I mean moving out," she clarifies and I feel my knees weakening. Oh God, I thought she meant leaving the country again. I thought I was really going to lose her. "I can't live under the same roof, Oppa. I'll find my own place, I'll be independent. I'll go back to the convent until I find a place, but I can't stay here any longer."

"But this is your home. Your brother is here, we are here. It's not only Taekyung," I remind her and she shakes her head. I don't want her to leave.

"It's too painful, Oppa. I don't want to run into him to hear his false accusations again. It's the best and I've been thinking about it for a while already. This was just the last straw, I guess," she continues wiping her own tears and taking strength from this decision. "I won't go too far and we'll still meet. I'll keep studying and working, I just won't depend on you all anymore. It's the best, Oppa."

"But... But," I try to argue and fail. I don't know what to tell her to stop her because I know she's right. If she wants to move on she needs space and time, even if they get back together later, she still needs space to heal from this blow and she'll do it better away. But I don't want her away. I love coming home and knowing she'll be around. I love knowing I can offer her a cup of tea every morning and every night. That I can be here for her if she needs me.

"Are you sure this is the best?" I ask, my hands tight on her shoulders.

She nods. "I'm sure."

I sigh heavily and close my eyes for a few seconds.

"Then I'll help you," I promise.

I hope you liked this chapter, too! I'm so happy reading your comments. Please, keep it up! 

Bel, xx