Finally

"Thank you, President Ahn," I say bowing in front of the president of the label.

"You just work hard to make out of this album another success. Jackpot!" he shouts with his characteristic enthusiasm.

I smile at him and bow again before taking my leave. I asked him to meet today to request for something. We are about to finish the album and I want some short vacations after that. I just want a bit of time for myself, to put things in order, to heal. I want to feel stronger when I face Minyu and I have to hear her definite rejection. I know that avoiding her is not the right thing to do, especially now when she needs me by her side after breaking up with Taekyung, but I can't. Not this time. Quitting means I will think of what is best for me, too, and postponing the heartbreak is what I need to do now. Seeing her would make me reconsider my decision. If I'm by her side I'm afraid I won't be able to keep my word. I'll find an excuse to keep loving her even if that only hurts.

No. I'm doing the right thing. She doesn't want to be with me, she can't love me and I need to give her space so she can really meet that person she'll love and be with.

I walk to the studio and I dive into loads of work. For a week it is all I focus on. Finishing the songs, recording my parts the best I can. I pour all my feelings in the music, the heartbreak, frustration, longing, and of course, all my love. Every song I wrote that made it to the album is inspired by her, what makes them more painful.

I don't visit her, I even stay longer than Taekyung in the studio. One night I even fall asleep there. Everything to avoid her and give me strength. I know Jeremy and Minam make time to go and see her, they even ask me a few times if I want to go with them but I refuse. Minam tells me later that Minyu is asking for me, but the answer is the same I text her: I just want to focus on finish this album first.

But once it's done I don't have more excuses and I know it. I'm aware my time is running out and it's time to face the inevitable.

"I'm so excited! We have a whole week off," Jeremy celebrates when we are leaving the studio after having the official first listen to the whole album as a final product.

"It's been a rough last week. I'm gonna sleep the seven days," Minam comments and I chuckle. I don't know about seen days but I think he can easily sleep three days in a row.

"What are you gonna do, Hyung?" Jeremy asks Taekyung and he smiles faintly.

"I have plans with my mother," he says and it's the first time he openly speaks about her to us. I'm aware things are extremely awkward between them, that she practically rejected him for her fame, but they are working on fixing their relationship. I know she's the reason behind Taekyung’s obsessive behaviour and all his issues and I'm sure that until he gets to term with his mother, he won't be able to properly love someone.

"That's great! Family time is important," Jeremy beams and then his eyes are on me. We are almost at the van, we only have to face the sea of fans always waiting outside. "What about you, hyung?"

"Family time, too," I explain and Minam snaps his head to gape at me. What did he think I was going to do? "I'll go visit my family. It's been a while and I miss them." It's true that I miss them but I'm mostly going to my roots to heal, to find myself again. To let go of my love for Minyu.

"I thought you would… I mean I know you asked president to give us this vacations so I thought it was to be with…" he sees Taekyung tensing and realises he can't continue his sentence there.

I shake my head. I certainly didn't ask for this vacation to spend time with Minyu. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning, in fact."

Our conversation stops because we have to go through the sea of fans, greeting them and signing autographs and we only resume our chat once we're in the van.

"We are going to see Minyu-nuna tonight. She's cooking for us! Come with us, hyung," Jeremy tells me. "You have to say goodbye before you leave or Nuna is gonna be worried. She's been worried about you."

I don't really want to go see her yet, I'm scared, but I know I have to. Maybe, considering Jeremy and Minam will be there, I won't have to hear the rejection now. Or maybe I should hear it, get my heart broken once again and then leave.

Still unsure about it, I only nod in response.

We make it home and after taking showers and changing clothes we are off. Taekyung leaves immediately, too, and wishes us all a good time and we do the same. Next thing we are in my car and I'm driving to Minyu's place. I'm shaking and I try to keep the collected expression, but my heart is beating so strongly, not only because I'm wary of this moment, also because I've missed her so much and I want to see her. I'm dying to see her smile, to be near and hear her lovely voice.

I’m too conflicted when we are waiting in front of the door. When she opens my heart skips a beat. How can she be so beautiful? Did she get prettier in this time we were apart? She greets us with a big smile but then she notices I'm also there and her face lights up.

"Oppa!" she cries out and takes a step closer.

I smile and take a step back, action that makes her stop. "Hello, Go Minyu," I say and my voice sounds foreign to me. Jeremy and Minam walk inside, leaving us alone there and I see how Minyu's expression changes from delight to confusion. "May I come in?"

She blinks in confusion but moves aside so I can walk in. I try to tell my heart to cool down, but her proximity has it racing again.

"Nuna, Hyung is leaving to see his family during our vacations so now this dinner is to celebrate we finished the album and to wish him a good trip!" Jeremy states and I don't need to turn to look at her to see her expression, but I do and shock is written all over her face. Shock and disappointment. I look away and pretend I didn't notice, I don't even dare to interpret what that might mean.

We have dinner but I barely talk and I refuse to make eye contact with her. I'm conscious everyone notices there's something off with me, but I don't want and don't have to explain things to them. And when it's time to leave Minyu grabs my hand, stopping me.

"Oppa, can you stay a bit longer?" she asks when Jeremy and Minam already walked out the flat.

"I can't today. I drove us all here so Jeremy and Minam are waiting and I have preparations to make. I'm leaving tomorrow morning," I reply and her grip on my wrist tightens.

"It's important, please," she insists and my chest squeezes. I want to give in, I want to give her all what she wants but I quit, I can't do that anymore.

"I'm sorry. When I come back we can talk about whatever you have to say," when I feel stronger and can look at you without dying to hug you.

Her grip loosens and I'm free. I turn to look at her and her eyes are on the floor, a sad expression drawn on her face. "I'll see you around."

"Have a good flight, Oppa. I'll miss you," she says and her words break my heart.

I'm missing you already, I say in my mind and I do something that breaks me inside, but at the same time it's my way to say goodbye. I reach out and ruffle her hair and she looks up surprised. I step forward and kiss her forehead, painstakingly.

"Goodbye, Go Minyu," I say in more than one sense.

I get to see her teary eyes before I walk out and I'm surprised when I don't see Jeremy and Minam waiting. I call them and they tell me they thought I would stay longer so they called a taxi. So I drive home alone and the emptiness inside is eating me alive. But I carry on, I keep pushing and pushing until it's the next day and I'm at the airport, waiting to check in.

I get flashbacks of the first time I told her to face me, to love me… And she picked Taekyung. I asked her to come with me to Bussan but she picked him, she stayed with him. Back then I knew she wouldn't come, but I still asked her.

Foolish me.

It's time to stop hoping, time to start moving on.

"Kang Shinwoo," I hear a soft voice calling my name.

I turn around only to be shocked by Minyu's presence right in front of me. What—what is she doing here? Why is she here?

"Go Minyu… what are you doing here?" I ask, dumbfounded.

She blushes and only then I notice the bag she's carrying and that she lets hit the floor. "Once, you asked me to go with you, to forget about Taekyung and go with you," she says and I take a sharp breath. "But I didn't go. And you've asked me again to face you and love you but you asked me for a little bit, and I can't do that," she carries on and I look around. Did she come here just to reject me? Couldn't she wait until I came back? "You deserve more than just a little. I refuse to love you just a little, to give just a little bit in return."

I can't face her, I don't want her to see my expression right now, my eyes welling up with tears.

"I once told you that when I was in Ghana and I drank tea without you it physically hurt how much I missed you. This week you stayed away, when I was having a cup of tea even if it was warm I felt so cold, so cold it burned inside. I missed you so much I was in pain," she continues and my head turns to see her again. She's blushing, she's anxious but she's also determined and I don't know where she's going with this anymore.

"And because I realised how much I missed you when you were around but at the same time away from me is that I realised how much I love you." She looks up and our eyes meet. I don't dare to take a breath, I don't dare to move. "I didn't want to just love you a little bit, I wanted to love you wholeheartedly before I could face you properly because you deserve my whole heart and more, not just a little bit." She takes a deep breath and looks me intently in the eyes. "Don't ask me to give you a little bit of my heart because I won't. I'll give you my whole heart."

My heart stops and then bursts out, beating like crazy and even my breathing is irregular. I don't know if this is a dream, I don't know what to feel.

"Oppa, what I'm asking is may I go with you this time? Will you let me?"

I take a sharp breath and I'm shaking. She's staring at me, waiting, expecting and I'm frozen. Is this really happening?

"Minyu… You mean that you... You…"

"Sarangheyo," she says and it takes me five seconds to fully grasp what she's said.

She loves me. She really loves me. She's here, telling me she loves me and that she wants to go with me. To see my family. She's facing me. What I've been waiting all this time, it's finally happening.

I drop my own bag and step forward, my heart beating so strongly I can hear it above the cacophony of the airport. I take her face in my shaking hands and notice she's shaking, too.

"Do you really love me?" I ask. This is too good to be true, I don't know how to react. I was preparing for the worst, I'm used to the worst.

She nods with a shy smile. "I do, very much. I'm sorry I took so l—"

I don't let her finish, my lips are on hers before she finishes the sentence. I'm so happy I feel like I can burst out. I hug her tightly when she kisses me back, when she leans even closer.

It's true.

It's happening.

Finally.

I got her.

The last chapter! Shinwoo-oppa is finalyl happy! *sobs* I hope you liked it. There's still the epilogue left, so wait for that :D Thank you all for reading and commenting and subscribing. I didn't expect that AT ALL! It means so much to me. It's been wonderful.

Bel, xx