Over

It's been over a week when she finally asks me to take her to Taekyung. During this time we've been doing pretty much the same. I go visit her almost every day after work. We have dinner together and then she studies and I work on some song. I ask her for her opinion and sometimes she asks me about certain topic and we discuss about it until it's clear for both of us. Jeremy and Minam join us some days and we have loads of fun and now Minyu always looks honestly happy. The sad eyes come in rare occasions when something reminds her of Taekyung. And she's been doing so fine that I feel reluctant to take her to him because I don't want to see her heartbroken again.

Between us things are like they were before. I haven't asked her about her feelings for me, I haven't mentioned mine. I'm giving her all the time she needs and when she's ready to take a step forward, I know she will do it.

"Are you sure?" I ask her and she nods.

I know I promised I would take her but I'm still scared. I don't want to see her crying like that again, I don't want her to feel that kind of pain. But most of all I'm scared that once she sees him again her feelings will come alive again and she'll get blinded by his light. He's, after all, her favourite star. She can fall for him all over again if he smiles at her, if he's kind to her, if he begs her to take him back.

I've avoided Taekyung as much as I can, we only talk about work and the tension between us is clear. He knows I'm at Minyu's side, that when I'm not home I'm with her and I know he still loves her. Although sometimes I think he only wants her back because he doesn't want anyone else to have her, because he sees her as a possession.

I'm afraid that I might lose the little progress I've made with her. I'm terrified of losing her again.

"Yes, it's time," she says and I sigh heavily

I promised I would take her, I must stay true to my word. And that's how I find myself driving to our band house, towards her first love. My heart is beating scared and anxious and I take short glimpses at her from time to time. She's fidgeting and her eyes wander everywhere, incapable of focusing on a single thing. She's as nervous as I am but I bet it's for very different reasons.

I park but I don't get out and neither does her. Still in my seat, I turn around to look at her and she does the same. She looks so small and scared now, like a wild doe.

I cup her face as gently as I can and lean closer before whispering, "no matter what, I'll be here waiting for you, arassi?" And I mean that in every sense.

I want to leave something with her, anything that will remind her I'm here, waiting for her, when she's with him but what can I give her? I sigh and just pray for things to go well for me this time. I lean closer and kiss her forehead as softly as I can. When I pull apart her cheeks are bright red and her smile is nervous before she presses her nose. I chuckle and take that as a good sign.

We get out the car and I walk with her inside. In the kitchen we find Minam peeling some oranges.

"Minyu? What are you doing here?" he asks and she smiles at him.

"I came to talk to Taekyung-ssi," she explains and her brother's eyes widen in horror.

"Why?! I thought you … I thought you and Shinwoo-hyung were… But…" he mumbles and I look down, embarrassed and happy that he thought Minyu and I had something. Pleased also because he doesn't approve of Taekyung for his sister.

"I have to, Oppa. Taekyung is important to me and I don't want to part in bad terms," she explains but he still looks unconvinced.

I feel you, Go Minam.

"Are you sure?" he asks and she nods. "He's in the music room," he provides next and she smiles gratefully.

Next she turns to look at me, her eyes ask me if I can go with her and I guess she needs that little push. If I refuse, would she still go to him? I push that thought aside and I nod so we leave the kitchen and head to the music room. As we approach I can hear the piano. It's a new song.

I stop once we are at the door and she looks extremely nervous now but takes a deep breath and walks in. I don't know why I stay there, I really don't want to eavesdrop but I can't make my feet walk away. I wonder if I'm a masochist at some level.

I hear the piano stopping but I can't hear their words. Maybe they are not saying anything… Maybe they are embracing.

Yes, I am a masochist.

I lean on the wall and breathe out a heavy sigh. What am I doing? I have to go, there's nothing I can do here. Whatever happens is now up to them, up to him. Is he able to win her back? Why is so easy for him? No matter how hard I try, he smiles and he's all what she can see.

I'm about to leave, defeated because there's no way I can win over Taekyung when I hear something.

"No!" It's her voice, raising. "That's not how it works, that's not how it is anymore. It's been almost a month and you never called, you never texted. Don't tell me now you've missed me," she continues and I clench my fists.

He is trying to win her back.

"You're important to me, Taekyung-ssi, and I don't want to stop being your friend," she adds in a softer tone, I have to make an effort to hear. "But things are not the way they used to. I changed."

"But I love you and you love me, you've said it. I'm your star, aren't I?" he questions and I wish I could see what kind of face she's making.

"Love is not enough to make it work and I do love you, but not like that anymore. The sky is full of stars and you'll always be the brightest, but also the farthest away from me. I can't be by your side, Taekyung."

"Minyu…" he calls, a plead.

"I'm sorry, I just want things to be okay between us. I want us to be friends."

"Is it because of Kang Shinwoo?" he asks and I tense up.

"No," she replies and I feel like someone punched me in the guts. "It's because of us, because of me. It didn't work and it won't work. Forcing this will only hurt us further. Regardless of my feelings for Shinwoo-Oppa, we're breaking up because we can't be together, it doesn't work. And if I have feelings for him, I hope you could wish us the best, support us because you want us to be happy. I want you to be happy, no matter next to whom. Because I loved you so much once, I want you to be happy next to the person that can be with you and keep up with you. I'm not that person," she says and I don't need to see her to know tears are streaming down her face. Her voice is shaky and filled with pain.

"I can't do that," he says and I feel anger raising in my soul. Why can't he put her first? If she asked me to let her go to be happy with someone else, I would because that's what matters the most, her happiness! I did that once. "I can't. Not now, at least," he insists and I'm so frustrated. Whom does he love best? Her or himself?

"I hope one day you can. Thank you for everything, Taekyung-ssi. Please be happy and I hope we can call ourselves friends again one day."

"Minyu… Minyu!" he calls louder. "Mianhae.”

She doesn't say anything to that and I wonder what's happening now. What is she doing?

I hear footstep and I jerk, afraid I might get caught eavesdropping until she shows up in front of me, with her face stained with tears and a weak, defeated smile. I step forward, trying to reach her but I stop one step away. I know she's hurting, I know it's shattering her inside to do this. I can see it in her face so clearly and that breaks my heart for many reasons.

"Are you okay?" I ask weakly.

Se shakes her head and I feel desperate. I don't get to do anything before she closes the distance between us and looks for comfort in my arms. I hug her tighter and her hair in a shooting way.

"I'm not…" She whispers with her face in the crock of my neck. "But I'll be. I'll be fine."

Don't you think Minyu has grown up a lot? I'm actually proud of her. I wish she had been this clever in the show *sniff*

So I'll be writing a new story, a Yongshin story! When I said mature I didn't mean I'll be writing scenes, 'cos they make me quite uncomfortable, unless they are essential for the story, and I don't write graphic scenes. Anyhow, it'll be mature in the scene the characters will be more mature, more adult. I'll start it next week, I think. I'm still developing it, but I have the overall idea and I'm pretty excited. Thank you for your support!

Bel, xx