Still Friends

"Will I see you tomorrow?" she asks over the phone. I hold it against my ear as I try to keep the smile at bay for I'm home and I don't want the others to see me grinning as I talk to her. And by others I mean Jeremy, who would just snatch the mobile away, or Tae-Kyung who would give me the death glare. Minam wouldn't really mind.

As I pour tea for me I reply, "of course. We’re all gonna be there tomorrow waiting for you. It's been a long time and we've missed you." I've missed you, I add in my head but I know I can't say those words out loud and it is not hard to hide them. I'm an expert at hiding my feelings and keeping the collected facade.

"It's been wonderful here but I can't wait to be back. I've missed home and you, guys!" she exclaims and I smile. Even if she says she's missed us all, I'm sure she is picturing just one face in his head, and it's not mine.

The piercing jab in my heart almost doesn't hurt anymore. Almost.

"I gotta say, I'm happy you accepted to come live with us again. You'll love your new room," I tell her thinking of the new room we got arranged just for her. The house is humongous, it was idiotic we didn't have another room. We also made sure to have a spare one for unexpected guests. Even if Tae-Kyung doesn't mind sharing room again, Jeremy, Minam and I oppose strongly.

"It's gonna be like the good 'ol days!" I can totally see her happy grin in my mind, that contagious smile filled with innocence and kindness. "Oh, Shinwoo-oppa, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Have a safe flight. I'll see you soon," I reply with a wide smile because she's called me oppa without me having to remind her to use that honorific. She got so used to call me hyung that changing to the appropriate oppa was a slow and hard process.

We hang up and I look at the screen now in black, still fighting the smile on my lips. It's been almost six months and I still love her. I haven't seen her in six months, but my heart still races when I hear her voice. I know she won't love me again and I should stop being a fool, I know it's hopeless, but I just can't help myself. And to be honest, I'm content with just being his friend even after I confessed my feelings for her.

I deceived her once. Surely, I can make her believe I don't house these feelings for her anymore. It shouldn't be hard, I'm an expert by now. I'll keep hiding my one-sided love.