It probably was during my second year of high school. He was a new face to most of us, but technically not really a new face. He was a year older than me. He would have graduated with the seniors if he wasn’t held back a year. He sat at the back of the class. Although there were times when he was alone, he got along well with the guys in our class too. I never paid much attention to him.

However, we started hanging out together in our senior year because of the sports festival. My friends were all part of the committee, and he was in it too. Slowly, he joined us for breaks on some days. Their conversation revolved around the planning of the event. I wasn’t part of the committee, but I didn’t mind one bit. I would quietly sit at the side and listen to their discussions.

Weeks of preparation for our last sports festival, and it passed by in a flash. Everyone went back to burying their heads in books. Things fell back to how they were before the festival, yet it felt like something was a little different. It was an extremely trying and sensitive period for the Year 3s, and we were constantly on edge.

The small neighbourhood library was packed with students every weekend. My friends decided to jump the wagon. He rejected the invitation citing that he didn’t like to study outside. Despite focusing better at home, I followed my friends there every Saturday because they found studying outside more conducive for them. For every few minutes of reading through the textbook, I took a break. I laid my head on the table and counted the number of pages I had left. The only thing I was looking forward to was lunch. We would head out together to grab a bite at a restaurant. Later, they found it to be too time-consuming, and we decided to takeout and sneak the food into the library. This continued for a few weeks until I became the person in charge of takeout. Finally, my friends skipped lunch altogether, and I stopped going to the library.

The day of our paper, everyone was busy doing last minute cramming. We spent our whole 18 years preparing for this day. I wasn’t extremely confident, but I believed I did enough. At least I was accountable to myself, I told myself. Seeing the deeply furrowed brows on my friends’ faces, I tried to lighten the mood by buzzing around and cracking some stupid jokes. My friend gave me her business smile. However, her next words caught me off guard.

“Stop it. I’m not hap