because @byeollie's (thank you!!!!!) comment made me reflect on my growth as a person so i decided to pour almost everything out for introspection

idek what i'm trying to go for w this 'but i'm not gonna edit this

I inhale.

There is a faint whiff of vanilla in the air, my favourite scent.

All of a sudden, my surroundings fade away and I find myself back to my room in my old house.

Tick

There I was, lying sprawled on the floor with a toothless smile plastered on my face. I was no more than six then. I was quietly humming to a song and carefully colouring my drawing of a plump mermaid with the broken oil pastels.

“Hey Sarah Sarah

Tock

My surroundings morphed into the school hall. My uniform was neatly ironed without any hint of creases. Behind the rows of chairs, I spotted my parents and grandmother. They were beaming and waving at me. My shoulders were still tense and I smiled stiffly back. I ended up marching on stage with the same hand and same foot. The blinding flash of a camera and…

“Third in class, Student xxxXXXxxx

Tick

It was a room full of people but I had never felt so alone. Their backs were all turned against me. In the middle of the young senseless girls, was the girl I had seen as a friend.

Her voice was clear and loud. “If you don’t apologise to her,” she said.

I wanted so much to say it wasn’t me, I didn’t do it but my body was shriveling up and I felt so small.

“I won’t be your friend anymore, xxxXXXxx

Tock

It must be summer because I was covered in sweat and my hair was sticking to my face. Everyone took off in different directions. I got tired of running and hid myself beneath the stairs. My breathing was a little too loud.

The boy peeked his head in and his eyes widened in shock when he spotted me there, crouched in a corner.

“You are supposed to run.” He whispered, slowly making his way in to the tiny space. I felt my heart beat faster and my face heat up from the close proximity. I swallowed. “Let me hide here too.”

I instinctively took a step back. “I..I will go check the situation outside.” My voice quivered.

“Hey, wait xxxXXXxxx

Tick

I was no longer in the old house. We had moved in my final year of middle school. I was writing in a notebook. It was a story about a blackout.

‘He recieved the candle’

I spelt it wrongly.

Tock

I was shaking with excitement, holding the school