A/N: You can expect some 'talk' here, but I trust you're all old enough to handle yourselves :)

Also, there is homophobic content in this chapter.

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Ephemeral

ephemeral: lasting for a short time

~*~

Baekhyun couldn't recall the last time he stepped into Chanyeol's bedroom, but everything felt the same as the last. The posters still hung in their place over the walls and the bookshelf overflowed with used comics collected over the years. The only visible difference Baekhyun could point out was the photo of Chanyeol and Jaehwa on the desk.

"I know you're busy with school and training," Baekhyun said before taking a seat on the edge of the bed, "so this means a lot to me."

Chanyeol flashed Baekhyun a reassuring smile beside plopping down beside him, "Of course. I actually don't have training on Tuesdays so you got lucky too. What's happening Baekkie?"

"Do you and Jaehwa ever want to have ? Have you guys had yet?"

Chanyeol's face flushed in embarrassment. "W-Why are you asking me this out of nowhere?"

"It's important, I have to know."

Baekhyun didn't offer his usual smile that indicated he was joking or taking the matter lightly. Chanyeol sighed and looked anywhere but at Baekhyun, "We haven't had yet and yes, we do."

"Why haven't you done it?"

"B-Because we're still young. I'm not ready. Baek, what is this about?"

Baekhyun seemed to ignore Chanyeol as he continued with his string of questions, "But you definitely will? Do you feel a ual attraction to her?"

"Why are you interviewing my life?"

"I don't want to have ," Baekhyun blurted out.

"Okay..."

"How do I tell Jongdae?"

Chanyeol sighed with a small roll of the eyes. Baekhyun was always overreacting. "Just tell him you don't want to. He'll understand, any normal person would."

"No. I made a promise with him that we would in the future when I felt ready, but I'm never going to be ready. I'm not ually attracted to him. He's gorgeous as but when I think about us having ... it's terrible."

"Is it your germ issue?"

"No, Yeollie. The problem is that Jongdae, like you and everyone else, wants to have at some point in their lives. This is a serious obstacle in our relationship."

"And what did you want me to help you with?"

Baekhyun whimpered in frustration before throwing himself back against the bed. "How do I tell him without disappointing him? What if he dumps me?"

"I doubt he would, Baekhyun. Disappointment can't be helped, but just be honest. Honesty is essential in a relationship."

Yeah, you would know.

Chanyeol cleared his throat nervously, "Besides... Jongdae can always... you know... solo if he has to."

Baekhyun's mouth opened, the words ripped away from tongue. He sat upright and slapped Chanyeol in the crotch, "Is that what you do?" The tall brunet flinched away, using his foot to keep Baekhyun from advancing any closer to him. Baekhyun shoved the long leg off the bed, "Is that how you take care of your urges? What kind of boyfriend would I be if I forced him to e every time he was feeling ?"

"Are you saying you've never felt ?" Chanyeol quietly asked. "You don't experience ual urges? ing is totally normal, don't tell me you've never done it. Want me to call Kyungsoo?"

Baekhyun's face and ears turned red. He could tell just how uncomfortable the topic was making the both of them, but Baekhyun needed to get out of his dilemma. He punched Chanyeol in the arm, "Stop derailing me, dickhead. What am I supposed to do with Jongdae?"

"You can give him s, all that requires is--"

Baekhyun punched the brunet once more, "Chanyeol! I'm serious!"

Chanyeol was tired of the abuse. He leaped off the bed and stood in the center of his room, "Just tell him the ing truth, damn it! If he truly loves you he will understand!" That was when Chanyeol realized what Baekhyun truly feared and why Baekhyun was so desperate for help. 

Chanyeol returned to Baekhyun's side, hands firmly gripping onto the raven-haired boy's shoulders, "Hey, look at me. I'm going to spout a lot of sweet talk and truthful , but please listen to me."

Baekhyun blinked up at his best friend, signaling for Chanyeol to continue. "I'm listening."

"From an outsider's point of view, you and Jongdae are a really cute and happy couple. You two practically glow when you're near each other. It hurts to even look at you two when you're together cause you're as bright as the sun."

"What's your--"

"And from a friend's point of view, I can see how much you care for each other. Remember the text, how hurt Jongdae was thinking it was you? But once the truth came out he came sprinting back to your side. Ever since then I swear you two are never apart. You two never shut up about each other. I'm pretty sure Jongdae is as in love with you as you are with him."

"You don't know a person's mind," Baekhyun frowned, holding onto Chanyeol's shoulder. "He might change his mind if I tell him."

Chanyeol lowered his arms. Baekhyun needed more faith in Jongdae. "It's up to you Baekhyun. You can prepare everything and tell him or have fate lead you. It wouldn't hurt to have with him, would it? I mean it's just . Everyone does it, maybe you'll enjoy it more than you think." Chanyeol flinched back as Baekhyun lightly slapped his left cheek.

"Just ," Baekhyun said in disgust. "Yeah, it means nothing. People have all the time with multiple partners even. What about us Yeollie? Let's do it right now." Baekhyun threw himself against Chanyeol and the two landed awkwardly entangled with each other's limbs. Baekhyun managed to sit up on Chanyeol's chest to prevent the the taller of the two from rising.

"You know what I was aiming at," Chanyeol replied, staring up at the narrowed dark eyes peircing through his soul. He really was trying to help Baekhyun to the best of his abilities, but Baekhyun was being such a complicated .

"You're going to be famous. You better start watching what you say before you mess up and blows up in your face."

"Nuh-uh, don't redirect this to me," Chanyeol said. "But yeah, if you don't wanna, then tell him. Is there any other issues or concerns you have that you want to get off your chest?"

~~~

It didn't take much convincing to get Jongdae to spend the night over at Baekhyun's. Any excuse to leave the house and see Baekhyun was good enough, even if Baekhyun wanted to do something as useless as watching the rain drip down the window together.

Baekhyun had paid Jongdae and Chanyeol a surprise visit at the restaurant, silently observing Jongdae in the work setting. Jongdae served a bright smile along with the customers' orders and there were moments when Jongdae tripped over his own feet. Baekhyun found it absolutely adorable. Baekhyun was a little on edge when he saw Jongdae being a little too polite to some of the customers, but he remained quiet, telling himself that a friendly waiter was good for business.

All the while, he was sulking at his table about how he would proceed with telling Jongdae. He ran through many scenarios, some not as good as others. Baekhyun considered not informing Jongdae at all, but he wanted to make it clear to avoid any awkward situations. He convinced himself it would be better for the both of them if Jongdae knew. He planned to spill the big news that night before they fell asleep. Baekhyun wanted to get Jongdae in a good mood before breaking down his barrier and rendering himself vulnerable. It took all the courage within Baekhyun to prepare for the worst.

When Jongdae finished his shift, the couple said their goodbyes to Chanyeol and headed over to Baekhyun's house. There, the two laughed about stupid things while finishing up some homework, with Jongdae being the distracted one rather than Baekhyun. They also watched a movie on Baekhyun's phone while sharing a large bowl of popcorn between them. After the movie, they laid on Baekhyun's bed and talked about how stupid the movie was.

Eventually they began to feel weary and prepared for bed. Baekhyun was in the midst of applying his facial toner when Jongdae entered the bathroom wearing only boxers. Baekhyun blinked in horror before averting his gaze, "Is that all you're wearing?"

A smile spread on Jongdae's curly lips as the brunet leaned against the sink counter. He propped his elbows on the surface and resting his chin on top of his clasped hands, head slightly tilted to the right. "Sometimes I don't wear anything at all, depending on the temperature. If you want, I'll dig in your closet for something because I have nothing."

"It doesn't matter. I mean keep your boxers on please. Why are you in here?" Baekhyun gently patted his forehead and cheeks. Jongdae had already done his business while Baekhyun was taking his precious time in figuring how to drop the news.

"I forgot to smile," Jongdae yawned sleepily before grinning to himself in the mirror. "A smile a day brightens your way."

Baekhyun paused, eyes flitting to Jongdae's. It wasn't a famous quote or anything, was it? Jongdae saw the change in Baekhyun's expression and his grin disappeared. Baekhyun turned around to face Jongdae, "Where did you hear that?"

"My brother. Why?"

"When did he start saying that?"

"I was probably... ten?"

Baekhyun performed some quick calculations in his head. "I bet your brother heard it from mine."

"Yeah, sure," Jongdae replied, turning on his heels and retreating to the bedroom. He was so ready for bed. If Baekhyun wanted to talk about such trivial matters, he would have to wait several hours later after Jongdae received a good night's rest.

Baekhyun remained in the bathroom and let the water soak his hands. He stared at his reflection and decided to give it another try. He needed everything to go right. Baekhyun's teeth shone between his lips, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

A smile a day brightens your way.

Wiping his hands dry, Baekhyun slowly made his way to the door, peeping through the crack at the lump on his bed. Stepping back, Baekhyun performed a quick breathing excercise before joining his boyfriend in bed.

"Took you long enough. I almost fell asleep," Jongdae mumbled as he snuggled against Baekhyun.

"Why didn't you?"

"I wanted to wait for you."

Jongdae's voice was barely audible as Baekhyun's heart seemed to pound into his ears. He had to say something before Jongdae actually fell asleep. Baekhyun glanced at the brunet in the darkness and gently brushed away loose strands of hair with shaky fingers. "Jongdae, are you still awake?"

"Mhmm."

"I have to tell you something extremely important."

"Mhmm."

"I... I did some research the other day. Are you listening?"

"Mhmm."

"Well, I was curious about my own uality, you know. If I was gay or biual cause you know, I did like girls before you came into my life. Jongdae you still there?"

"I'm listening Baek. You don't have to keep asking. It's not like we're on the phone."

"I... I found something called auality, have you heard of it?"

"Mhmm."

"Well... I-I think I might be... I might be aual."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Baekhyun wasn't sure if Jongdae had heard him or if Jongdae was in the midst of falling asleep and merely responding with his short replies.

"Mhmm."

"You're not... mad?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"Because... I can't give you what you want. I can't keep my stupid promise."

"It's okay, Baek. Your body isn't the only thing I want, you know that right? That was a one-sided promise you made yourself, feel free to keep it, bend it, break it. I'm sorry if you ever felt pressured, just know I never meant to hurt you."

"You're not disappointed? Be honest with me."

Jongdae shifted around until his back faced Baekhyun. Of course he was disappointed. Making love was an intimate experience he wanted to share with Baekhyun later in the future. "Well... I..."

"Don't lie to me."

"Just a little, but don't worry about it. Life's not all about , you know."

"If you think about," Baekhyun said, "it kind of is. You need to have to reproduce an offspring. Your life starts when you come out your mother's womb, but I get your point."

"Good to know we've cleared that up. I can assume that's why you called me here?"

Jongdae honestly thought Baekhyun cared a little too much about identifying as something, but that was Baekhyun, always wanting to fit into a specific category. Baekhyun was the type of person to need solidity. Baekhyun's life was mostly black and white, whereas Jongdae was the gray that filled in the empty spaces.

"Ah snap, I've been caught. What's my punishment?"

The two broke into fits of soft giggles. Everything would be all right, unless Jongdae was half-asleep and the next day he wouldn't be able to recall their conversation.

"You have to cook me breakfast tomorrow morning," Jongdae whispered. Baekhyun made a noise in his throat that indicated he would and the two drifted off to sleep, but not before one last question by Baekhyun.

"You ready for our date tomorrow?"

"Mhmm," Jongdae replied, his response barely audible. It turned out Jongdae had forgotten the question the next morning because after breakfast, Jongdae asked Baekhyun what their plans were for the rest of the day.

"Our date," Baekhyun responded patiently. He turned off the faucet and dried his hands with a paper towel, "Did you already forget?"

Jongdae laughed his "nervous laugh" or at least that's what Baekhyun called it. He playfully punched Baekhyun on the arm, "Of course not, I was testing you."

Baekhyun had caught the change in Jongdae's expression as soon as the word "date" came out his mouth. Baekhyun took the Jongdae's hands, "Don't be scared, I'll be with you."

Jongdae pulled his hands free and inserted his thumbs into the back pockets of his jeans. "What if people look at us?"

"What, are we not allowed to date publicly? Let them stare all they want."

When Jongdae was unresponsive, Baekhyun sighed and hugged Jongdae's waist, resting his head against the brunet's shoulder, "Okay, we don't have to go out if you don't want to. We can stay here or find something else to do, or we can still go out, but as 'friends' if you get what I mean."

Jongdae didn't want to disappoint his boyfriend, seeing how excited Baekhyun was. Jongdae hated being a party pooper. He didn't want a repeat of the animal hoodie incident; plus, for Baekhyun to have actually planned out a date... Jongdae couldn't flat out refuse because he was too scared.

"No, it's all right. We can go," Jongdae gently took Baekhyun's fingers. "I'll go with the flow and it seems to be heading toward the man with the plan."

Baekhyun pouted his lips, "Are you sure?" At Jongdae's nod, Baekhyun tightened his grip on Jongdae's hand and excitedly danced out the house.

Baekhyun pulled his boyfriend along as they s through the crowd of people. Baekhyun kept his fingers tightly grasped onto Jongdae's so as not to lose him in the mass of bodies. Why were there always so many people? "Baek, where are we going?" Baekhyun heard Jongdae ask from behind him. "Hey, slow down. I can't keep up." Baekhyun did slow down, after realizing how far he was extending his arm out, but they had to hurry or else they'd miss their first ride and have to wait for the next train and then they'd be late and...

They managed to slip onto the train seconds before the doors closed. Panting softly, Jongdae paddled behind Baekhyun and, due to the lack of available seats, perched atop Baekhyun's lap. He would rather stand, but upon Baekhyun's request, Jongdae endured the overwhelming anxiety. Holding Baekhyun's hand out of everyone's sight eased his discomfort slightly, but only just.

Jongdae wished he was stronger. He wished he could be happy, or even calm, but Jongdae felt extremely self-conscious, as if anyone who looked their way was judging him, judging Baekhyun. Every one of the passengers were disgusted, horrified, apalled. They could see through Baekhyun and Jongdae, know that they were dating, but could not understand why. Why in the world two boys would willingly start a romantic relationship.

His breath shuddered and he had to lower his eyes. Jongdae had never been that concerned or afraid until his father began feeding him doubt. Jongdae always noticed whenever someone was staring and he  couldn't help but guess what went through that person's head. He knew his worries might have been unreasonable, but it didn't stop his racing mind from crossing dark waters.

Baekhyun sensed something was wrong and he let Jongdae take his place while he stood up until they arrived at their destination -- a rental shop beside a river.

"I'm sitting in the back right?" Jongdae asked in amusement, referring to the tandem bicycle an employee had rolled out for them.

"It would be weird for you not to. I bought us two hours, should be enough time."

"Umm, I've never ridden one of these before."

About ten minutes later with the help of one of the employees, Baekhyun and Jongdae were pedaling along the river, the wind whipping at their faces. Baekhyun felt it more than Jongdae, being the captain of the tandem. He expected as much.

"Are we going anywhere in particular?" Jongdae called out.

"Nope!"

So on and on they pedaled with no destination in mind. It made the journey all the more relaxing. They stopped for a quick restroom break before struggling to get back on the bicycle and resuming their ride. On their way back, they found a food cart selling fried potato sticks. Neither of the two had tried them before and Baekhyun wouldn't have stopped for it if Jongdae hadn't pointed it out. It was a nice treat to snack on while they sat on a bench that overlooked the river. People milled about the shore on both sides of the water, several yards down from where Baekhyun and Jongdae were. A fresh breeze, unlike the harsh wind during the bike ride, at their faces as they muched on their snacks.

"No lip kissing right?" Jongdae asked with a mouthful of potatoes. He playfully kicked Baekhyun's nearest foot. 

"The sacrifice is so worth it," Baekhyun moaned. He closed his eyes and happily chewed, "These are delicious."

Jongdae appreciated everything Baekhyun did for their date, yet at the same time he felt he didn't deserve it. Was there a string attached somewhere? Was Baekhyun going to break sad news to him at the end of the day? But knowing Baekhyun, he wouldn't have bothered wasting time and money for something like that. Did Baekhyun feel guilty for the previous night?

Baekhyun caught Jongdae staring at him and he noticed something was off. "What?"

"This is nice," Jongdae smiled, "being out here. With you. Thanks for doing this."

Baekhyun smiled the best he could with potatoes stuffed in both his cheeks. It was an adoringly amusing sight. Jongdae couldn't resist snaking his free arm around Baekhyun and squeezing their bodies together. "How am I blessed with such a wonderful boyfriend?"

"Who knows. You gonna finish that?"

"Unless you want it."

"Well of course I do, but if you're not done..." Baekhyun ceased speaking when Jongdae pointed the stick to his lips. "If you're trying to feed me, it's not going to work."

Jongdae made a face, "I'm not feeding you. I'm giving it to you to take so you can feed yourself."

"Just finish it. I'm going to get fat eating so much."

"Fat my ." Jongdae bit into his food because Baekhyun wasn't going to and to waste it would be a shame.

"Your is nice and thick, not fat."

The couple laughed and jabbed at each other with hands, elbows, and feet for awhile before keeping their bodies to themselves. If it weren't for the shade provided by the trees, they would have hopped on the bike and rode back to the rental place, but the two of them seated side-by-side on a bench they had all to themselves beneath the shade with the wind kissing their face prompted them to remain where they were.

"Is this part of your date?" Jongdae asked suddenly.

"My goal was to get you here on the bike with me, that's all." Baekhyun attempted a subtle glance at his watch, but Jongdae caught him.

"Are our two hours running out?"

"Oh no, we've got plenty of time."

Jongdae stood up and stretched. It was probably time to head back anyway. He didn't want to be responsible for additional fees by ruining Baekhyun's little date, well technically it was their date, but it was a surprise planned by Baekhyun. "I'm ready."

Baekhyun gestured for Jongdae to sit back down. "We have to at least take a few pics."

So they did. It was all fun and smiles until Baekhyun stole a few kisses on Jongdae's cheek and neck.

"Disgusting!" a shrill voice shouted before something hit Baekhyun and Jongdae on the heads. Alarmed, the boys turned to their assailant, an old woman carrying a large purse.

"Did you just hit us?" Baekhyun gasped. He was still attempting to process in his head what just took place.

The elderly man beside the woman tsked, "Do your parents know what you're doing behind their backs? Young, foolish, and ignorant children like you are what's steering the world to Hell. Your parents ought to teach you some manners and morality."

"The ? You're the one who attacked us," Baekhyun jumped to his feet. Jongdae hesitantly stood up, prepared to pull Baekhyun back if the old couple were planning to lash out again, or if Baekhyun would, because Jongdae knew Baekhyun would.

"Watch your language, young man."

Another couple, who appeared in their early thirties or so, Jongdae couldn't tell, approached them. "What's going on here?"

"These two boys think it's okay to flaunt their immorality to the world," the elderly woman grunted as she dusted off her bag, the bag that she used to hit Baekhyun and Jongdae. "Imagine if young children saw them kissing, they would think it's okay."

More people began to look out of curiosity and several stopped with their phones in hand. Jongdae had hoped the younger couple would take their side, but by the bewildered looks from them and the fact that they staggered back as if Baekhyun and Jongdae carried a deadly and contagious virus, Jongdae knew everything would go downhill. His hand automatically touched Baekhyun's and he tugged gently, signaling for them to leave.

But Baekhyun remained rooted to the floor. Baekhyun could not allow the old bastards to hit them and get away with it. He snapped a few shots of the old couple, much to everyone's confusion. Jongdae tugged Baekhyun's hand again, more urgently this time.

"What do you think you're doing?" the man demanded, attempting to shield his face with his old, wrinkly hands.

"You assaulted us," Baekhyun said, checking the photos for clarity. Satisfied, he put his phone away, "You do remember that you can't go around hitting people for no good reason, right? Or has your memory been foggy lately? What are you, 200 years old?"

"Baek," Jongdae whispered, pulling Baekhyun as hard as he could, "let's just go."

"You two are a public nuisance, you should go back to the hole you crawled out of," the woman rolled her eyes.

"We were enjoying our date until you interrupted us," Baekhyun said. He was getting angrier by the second. How small everyone was making him feel. Other strangers began to stare and Jongdae wasn't helping. Why was Jongdae giving in? Why wasn't Jongdae backing him up? Baekhyun looked to Jongdae for help, but Jongdae... Jongdae resembled a scared bug caught in a web, but desperately trying to escape.

No...

Why was Baekhyun resisting with such effort? Jongdae saw no use in fighting, Baekhyun would only aggravate everyone. Jongdae's eyes flickered back and forth from the onlookers surrounding them. No one was going to help them because no one cared. They only wanted to watch to see what would happen next, like a real-life drama playing right before their eyes. Jongdae couldn't handle the crowd; not even Baekhyun made him feel safe anymore.

Baekhyun could feel the death-like grip on his hand loosen and he hastily locked his fingers through Jongdae's to keep the brunet from taking off, "Kim Jongdae, don't you dare let go of my hand."

"People are watching us," Jongdae whispered desperately, his eyes glistening with the tears he could no longer fight back. "Let's just go, please." Jongdae's voice had cracked, along with Baekhyun's heart.

...I messed up.

Baekhyun could feel Jongdae's fingers slipping away, so he tightened his grip, but that only made Jongdae pry with his other hand. Jongdae went as far as digging his nails into the flesh of Baekhyun's hand and Baekhyun was forced to let go.

Jongdae staggered back a couple steps before saying, "I'm sorry, Baek, I-I have to go." Without any further explanations, Jongdae bolted away through the crowd of people. Baekhyun hadn't prepared for that kind of situation, especially not Jongdae leaving him. Baekhyun, abandoning their bicycle, ran after Jongdae. He cried out Jongdae's name, shouted for Jongdae to wait, but Jongdae kept moving forward. Jongae wouldn't stop.

Baekhyun eventually lost Jongdae at the subway station when the doors closed on him as he reached the bottom step of the stairs. He hunched over and gasped for air, shocked at how quickly Jongdae could run and to the subway at that. Had Jongdae been mapping out an escape plan from the second they stepped off the subway car earlier?

With a groan, Baekhyun dropped to the floor. He was beat. It wasn't a short run from where they stopped to eat to the subway. He didn't care that people stared nor that he was catching his breath at the subway stairs. He glanced at his watch, then his eyes traveled to the red streaks across his left hand.

It stung.

Why is this chapter so sad ;; I apologize for taking so long to update lol, but I did it!

And it doesn't help with the comeback so near omg I'm already dying from the pre-teasers lmao. 

-160531 (T)