Chapter Twenty-Seven: Fraught

fraught: stressed, anxious; emotional

~*~

Jongdae gulped nervously as he pried open the box flaps. He knew Jongdeok would be extremely pissed, but Jongdae was overly curious. He double checked the door in case his brother suddenly burst through with a baseball bat or some object to beat him with for violating personal belongings. Jongdae pulled out the smaller box out of the larger. It was like Jongdeok to put a box within a box, especially for valuables. Sometimes Jongdeok would stick a piece of paper or include an item on a certain side of the bigger box to know if someone had tampered with his boxes.

The second box was tied by a ribbon, which Jongdae tugged loose with trembling fingers. He sharply inhaled and held his breath while he lifted the lid. Loose papers with Jongdeok's scrawlings, photos, various items. Jongdae picked up one of the photos. Jongdeok, Baekbeom, Yonghwa, a girl, and a guy. Peering into the box, there was a torn photo of Jongdeok beside the girl, the tear separating the girl from someone else.

Jongdae dug through the box, looking over everything that caught his interest, when a voice startled the living daylights out of him. "You nosy, little brat. What do you think you're doing?"

Jongdae's heart nearly stopped. His eyes remained glued to the socked feet at the doorway as his body froze. His mouth dry, Jongdae couldn't utter a single word. The feet moved, breaking Jongdae's trance. Jongdae looked up at his brother.

Jongdeok knelt down and took the items from Jongdae. He laid them inside the box and carefully tied the ribbon. "Seohwa, my ex. I was hoping to forget these forever, but Luhan." Jongdeok tsked, pulling the ribbon taut. "I don't know how to get rid of these. It brings back painful memories, but I can't find the will to simply throw away everything, you know?"

"What happened?" Jongdae whispered, a bit nervous by his brother's calm demeanor. The Jongdeok he knew would have hit him or shouted at least.

"Like I said, she wasn't interested in me, but my best friend."

"Who?"

Jongdeok paused for half a second before replying, "Your boyfriend's brother, of course. You want to know all the drama between us? How our 'little gang' split, if that's what you can call it. You know that Yonghwa and Baekbeom were best friends for a long while. Well, Seohwa had this mad crush -- an obsession really -- on Baekbeom. I didn't know it at the time; if I had, I wouldn't have dated her.

"Anyway, Baekbeom said she would constantly invade his space. He quit tutoring her after she started going gaga for him. Then we started dating, me and her. I actually thought we had something special, but then I realized, a little too late if you ask me, so I called it off. Upset, she hooked up with Gu Minkyu. He's an idiot and believes everything she says, all the lies about Baekbeom trying to contact her and how he's in love with her and stalks her. That damaged any remaining friendship or ties between Baekbeom and Seohwa. Then Bohye came into the picture and we're basically here." Jongdeok lifted the box and stood up, "Well, I'll be leaving now."

"Wait," Jongdae grabbed Jongdeok's leg. "Where do you stay at?"

Jongdeok freed himself and started to walk away. "It's none of your business."

"Mom and Dad are fighting." Jongdae's words were enough to make Jongdeok pause.

"It's normal for couples to fight. I thought you knew that."

"You have to help me, Jongdeok."

Jongdeok eyed Jongdae, who was now on his knees looking up at the older brother for help. Jongdeok decided to give in, "What are they fighting about?"

"Dad's planning to kick me out at the end of September this year, maybe even on my birthday. Mom's against it, of course."

"What do you plan to do about that? That's your own problem, I can't help you."

"Let me move in with you. I just need a place to stay. I would ask my friends, but this is a family matter and that makes you the only one I can turn to." Jongdae stood up and pleaded for his brother's help. If Jongdeok turned him away, Jongdae didn't know what he would do. "Please, Jongdeok. I-I'll find a job and pay half the living costs with you. Please... just help me."

"No."

Jongdeok's one word response hit Jongdae more than the latter expected. "Why?" Jongdae choked out. "Why won't you help me? I need you the most right now, Jongdeok." Despair filled Jongdae's entire body when Jongdeok shook his head. Jongdae also felt fear because he was at a loss. He wasn't prepared for such a turn of events and it was too urgent and everything seemed to come faster than he could handle. It was too big for him to carry over his shoulders.

There was no time to keep his tears at bay, not as if Jongdae had the strength to hold back. Defeated, Jongdae locked himself in his bathroom, waiting for everything to pass, waiting for Jongdeok to leave.

Ah, what's happening?

Several minutes later, Jongdae emerged from the bathroom to see Jongdeok sitting on his bed, the box set aside. Jongdae quickly hid his face and busied himself by inspecting his bookcase of albums. "You're still here?"

"My place is a bit far off from your school. You'd probably have to take the subway. I'm renting it cheap from an old couple; it's quite small, but I think we can make room. You can sell some of your... stuff... for more space and money. You can bring your bed and we'll share it. My back's been hurting from sleeping on the floor every night. When were you planning to move out again?"

~~~

Baekhyun held out a gift bag, "Here you go, Sweetie." Jongdae eyed the bag suspiciously before taking it and peering inside. "Don't worry, I got it on sale -- twenty percent off and free shipping."

It was an animal hoodie, a cat to be exact. It was one of those hoodies where the hood had ears pointing out and the ends of the sleeves had a slot for the hands like mittens, styled as paws. Jongdae had always questioned about those who bought and wore such clothing, but apparently he was going to be one of them. It wasn't really his style, but since Baekhyun bought him one...

Baekhyun grinned brightly as Jongdae slipped it on. In excitement, Baekhyun lent a helping hand, zipping up the hoodie and adjusting the hood over Jongdae's head. Baekhyun even helped Jongdae with the mittens. "You look so adorable!" Baekhyun gushed. "How do you like it?"

"It's... cute."

Baekhyun's smile disappeared, a strange look crossing his face. "You don't like it, do you? Okay, I'll just send it back." Before Jongdae could respond, Baekhyun started to pull the zipper down.

"Hey, I didn't say I didn't like it," Jongdae stepped back.

"I'm not stupid. I know when you don't like something. You're not even smiling. It's okay, I'll just return it. Someone else can have it. I was online shopping for some clothes and that appeared and it reminded me of you so I bought it without thinking that you might not even like it. I mean, you've already made it clear you don't like me spending money on you and whatever, but I just--"

Jongdae placed a paw over Baekhyun's mouth to shut him up. "You can't return this, it's mine now. I decide what to do with it and I'm keeping it."

"You sure?" Baekhyun asked, his voice muffled behind Jongdae's paw. Jongdae nodded with a grin and lowered his arm. "But you didn't look happy about it. You don't have to keep it just because I got it for you."

Jongdae rolled his eyes, "What do I have to do?"

"What?"

"To make you believe me."

Baekhyun furrowed his brows he pondered Jongdae's question. "You can wear it for the day." Baekhyun could see Jongdae's grin falter and his adam's apple bob up and down and again, Baekhyun's heart started to sink. "See, you don't like it," he frowned, a hurt expression apparent on his face. "Just give it back to me. It's fine."

"You're misunderstanding me," Jongdae quickly said. "I just... I'm going to be out all day..."

"The purpose of the hoodie is to wear it when you go out. So what? You're just going to keep it in the closet forever? Just take it off."

"Are we really going to argue about whether I keep this jacket or not?" Jongdae almost rolled his eyes. He wished the look on Baekhyun's face would go away. He wished Baekhyun would stop acting stupid and just let him keep the hoodie instead of making such a big fuss about it.

"Fine, whatever. Keep it," Baekhyun responded, and that was when Jongdae knew Baekhyun was upset. Baekhyun flashed one of his fake smiles before touching Jongdae's shoulder. "Have fun being out all day. Let's hope no dogs start chasing you, that is, if you're even going to wear it."

Oh my god...

Jongdae didn't bother following Baekhyun. At times like that, they needed to be apart, not together. Rarely did they fight or come close, but it was inevitable and the only way to cool off was to separate. Jongdae did feel bad because it was obvious Baekhyun was excited. Baekhyun had thought of Jongdae at the time he bought the item, and everyone knew Baekhyun wasn't one to impulsively buy anyone anything. Perhaps Jongdae needed to work on his acting skills. Baekhyun had caught him off guard with the sudden gift, he hadn't the time to react properly and now look where they were.

The second Baekhyun stormed into Kyungsoo's house, Kyungsoo knew something was wrong. "Whoa, what happened?"

"Nothing."

"I can see this dark force surrounding you."

"You should get your eyes checked if you're seeing strange forces," Baekhyun grumbled. He clasped his hands together and gestured forward, "Well, let's get to it."

"Okay, I guess I'll just ask Jongdae later."

"Hey, you stay out of this. This is between me and him."

Kyungsoo's lips curled in the smallest of smiles. "See, something did happen."

"It's so frustrating! Have you ever been so excited, thinking you bought the perfect gift, but then it turns out the other person doesn't even like it?"

"All the time," Kyungsoo's mother said as she appeared from the kitchen. She winked at the two boys while she slipped on her cardigan. "Sorry for butting in. Don't set the house on fire, okay?" She pecked Kyungsoo's cheek and patted Baekhyun's shoulder before disappearing into the garage.

"So he didn't like it?" Kyungsoo asked. "What did you even give him?"

"One of those cat jackets with the ears and the paws," Baekhyun said, waving his hands in the air when he mentioned the paws. Baekhyun walked past Kyungsoo to the latter's bedroom because if he did nothing, they would be standing at the front door for who knows how long. Kyungsoo trailed behind Baekhyun and although he didn't say anything, Baekhyun could feel Kyungsoo's eyes drilling holes into his head.

"You came back empty-handed," Kyungsoo eventually said, "so he must have liked it."

"He says he likes it, but we all know that isn't true. This is why I don't buy people gifts unless they have a solid list of what they want. I don't even know what overcame me. Everything screamed 'Jongdae' when I first saw it and I clicked it and now we're here and I'm ing pissed and I can't help it and Jongdae is being so difficult and ugh!"

You're fighting over a jacket, wow.

"Well, you know that Jongdae doesn't wear things like that. It attracts too much attention and it's kind of ridiculous and embarrassing to wear, especially if you're the only one. Maybe if you bought one for yourself, he'd feel more comfortable."

Baekhyun considered Kyungsoo's advice. "I might just have to do that. You want one too, Soo?"

"No, thanks."

Baekhyun pulled out his phone to check. Fortunately, the animal hoodies were still on sale. Baekhyun immediately purchased one for himself.

~~~

Jongdae quickened his footsteps in determination to reach the tall brunet down the hallway. "Chanyeol!" Jongdae shouted, but his friend didn't hear him, however, Jaehwa did. She stopped and turned around to see Jongdae making his way over. Chanyeol stopped as well, once he couldn't go forward any further without dragging Jaehwa behind him.

"Hey Jongdae," Chanyeol smiled.

"Can I ask you a favor?" Jongdae huffed, adjusting his backpack straps. "Alone?" Jaehwa took the hint and let go of Chanyeol's hand. She patted her boyfriend's arm before continuing down the hall.

"What is it that you need?"

Jongdae sighed, holding up his hands in a pleading gesture, "I am so sorry to ask this of you, but do you know any job openings at either of your parents' businesses? It doesn't even have to be there, I just need a job. I went job hunting over the weekend, but I'm not confident."

Chanyeol tried to recall if either his parents mentioned anything about needing extra staff members. As Chanyeol opened his mouth to respond, Jongdae continued, "Great, now I feel like I'm just using you. You know what, let's just--"

"Hey," Chanyeol reached out for Jongdae's shoulders. "I'll ask them. Don't worry about it, we're friends, aren't we? Not to mention you're dating my best friend, which I approve and fully support."

Jongdae cracked a smile, "Thanks so much, Chanyeol."

"You mind me asking why you need a job? It might help when I'm begging my parents," Chanyeol smirked. He stepped to the side and, his left arm draped over Jongdae's shoulders, guided Jongdae along with him down the hallway. "You know, I'm actually heading to my mom's restaurant and she'll be there, you want to tag along?"

Jongdae's heart leaped in anticipation and his body started to tremble, "If you don't mind. I actually have my resume with me. It's in my backpack."

---

Her hands perched on her hips, Park Yeseul eyed Kim Jongdae from head to toe. "You can take over Chanyeol's old shift on Fridays. I haven't found a replacement for him ever since he began training. What an opportunity this is." She turned to her son, "You said they were going to make you train on Saturdays too after your birthday passes?"

Chanyeol nodded enthusiastically. "Jongdae can just replace me altogether."

"I got it," Yeseul said. "Jongdae, you can start out by taking over Chanyeol's old shift on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 6 to 9pm. Chanyeol will show you the ropes for the rest of the month and if you are competent enough by then, you can fully take Chanyeol's job. How does that sound?"

"Sounds great," Jongdae grinned. "When do I start?"

"You're not even going to ask how much you're getting paid?"

Jongdae had forgotten. He was so focused on obtaining a job, he hadn't thought about the end result of the job, the reason he needed a job in the first place. Sheepishly, Jongdae asked, "How much will I be earning?"

"Your hourly wage will start at six won. If and when you take over Chanyeol's shift, it will increase to seven won. Fill out the work documents from your school and bring them to me. The sooner you get them done, the sooner you can start."

"By six and seven, she means in thousands," Chanyeol elaborated as not to confuse Jongdae into thinking his mother was hiring Jongdae for cheap labor.

Jongdae was filled with such joy that he wanted to cry. "Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me." Jongdae balled his fists and motioned them back and forth in front of him, fighting the urge to throw his arms around Chanyeol's mother. In the end, he stepped forward and hugged her.

---

Thursday evening, Jongdae had received a text from Baekhyun announcing a surprise for him. When Jongdae inquired about the surprise, Baekhyun responded by asking Jongdae to bring, if not wear, the cat hoodie to school. Friday morning, it dawned on Jongdae how precious Baekhyun really was. Although it may have gone against school rules -- their school was pretty lax about what the students wore on the outside so long as their name tags were properly displayed -- Baekhyun had a dog on his head. Not a real dog, of course.

With his hands hidden behind the paws at the end of his sleeves, Baekhyun waved frantically at Jongdae and Kyungsoo. He bounced toward them with a wide grin on his face, "Aren't I cute?" Kyungsoo laughed and playfully petted Baekhyun's head while Jongdae stood there and stared in awe. Baekhyun tapped Jongdae's nose with a paw, "You can choose to wear yours or not."

"Aren't you afraid of people thinking you're a couple?" Kyungsoo whispered. He couldn't understand why Baekhyun was so desperate to flaunt his relationship with Jongdae to everyone. Maybe it was personal preference, but Kyungsoo wasn't one for PDAs or revealing to every single living person that he was in a relationship. Baekhyun might as well screamed into a megaphone that he was dating Jongdae.

Jongdae took Baekhyun's paws and swung their arms back and forth, "Yes, you're adorable. I would wear mine, but I feel ridiculous in it."

"But we can be cute and ridiculous together, oh please? I mean, you don't have to. No pressure, really. I just... I'll shut up now."

With a sigh, Jongdae slipped off his backpack and pulled out his animal hoodie, pleased at the gleam in Baekhyun's eyes.

Anything for Baekhyun, right?

It was one of those days where Jongdae missed sitting behind Baekhyun like back in 11th grade. If things had gone well, Baekhyun would likely be in the same class as him, rather than being separated with only lunch and restroom breaks in between to see one another. Lovers kept apart by the cruel institution that is school. Kyungsoo had told the two of them on multiple occasions that school is where people get an education, not find love.

Whenever that happened, Jongdae would bring up Kyungsoo's precious Jang Aeri and Kyungsoo's face would turn pink or red, depending on situation. If Kyungsoo's hair was still dyed that red color, it would have been hilarious. Jongdae couldn't resist but tell Baekhyun of Kyungsoo's little crush; the couple enjoyed teasing their friend whenever Aeri was within their line of sight. Kyungsoo would get flustered, but he kept quiet, not wishing to draw attention to himself should Aeri notice.

That afternoon at lunch, Aeri approached their table. Kyungsoo did all he could not to panic by focusing on his lunch, with the exceptions of the not-so-subtle glances at her. She wanted the boys for a quick model sketch, to which Baekhyun and Jongdae happily agreed to, so the two left with Aeri while Kyungsoo remained alone at the table to play with his food because he said he was starving. He wished he had gone with them a few seconds after they left.

The three went upstairs to an empty hallway where Baekhyun and Jongdae stood in front of a large window, their backs facing Aeri. While she was drawing, Baekhyun asked, "You could have asked anyone, why us?"

"Truthfully," Aeri said, "I actually wanted Jongdae and Kyungsoo, because I was afraid you would turn into the Well, but it works out because you didn't and because your're wearing matching jackets. Thank you, again. I really appreciate it."

"No problem," the boys chorused.

"Just try not to move so much, okay?"

Baekhyun and Jongdae exchanged smiles before their hands -- paws -- met in the center with Baekhyun's resting atop Jongdae's. It was common for friends to hold hands, so Baekhyun didn't stress over Aeri analyzing their sign of friendship.

"Can we see once you finish?" Jongdae inquired.

Baekhyun turned to Jongdae and prepared to speak, but Aeri sighed, "Baekhyun, please," and so Baekhyun hastily fixated his gaze through the windows at the cloudy skies. He almost leaned his head against Jongdae's shoulder, but Jongdae, quick to notice, kicked his foot to remind him to remain still. Baekhyun kicked him back and once more, Aeri asked Baekhyun to remain still.

About five minutes before the end of their lunch, Aeri dismissed the boys. She thanked them again and left, promising to show them once she added the finishing touches. Baekhyun and Jongdae remained standing by the window.

"You bought one for yourself so I wouldn't feel uncomfortable," Jongdae said. He leaned back against the window sill, using his elbows to prop him upright. "You're so sweet."

"I haven't heard that in a long time," Baekhyun laughed quietly. He took a giant step closer to Jongdae, "Let's play a game."

"Class is about to start, in case you didn't catch what Aeri said, or you're unable to read the time on your watch."

"It's a kissing game I call The Liar's Kiss," Baekhyun continued, "where we take turns asking each other 'yes' or 'no' questions. If the answer is 'yes,' then the person kisses the other, and if it's 'no,' then the person taps the other person's nose. Make sense?" Jongdae pecked Baekhyun on the lips, much to Baekhyun's surprise.

"Can we play later? I don't--"

Baekhyun tapped Jongdae on the nose. "Are you really worrying about being late to class? What a star student you are."

Jongdae gave Baekhyun another quick kiss. "I will leave you here if I have to. We can play the game later, I promise." When Baekhyun didn't respond, Jongdae started to walk away, but Baekhyun stopped him.

"You have to ask me a question, Jongdae."

"Want me to walk you to class?"

Baekhyun grinned and pecked Jongdae's lips. He linked arms with Jongdae, "Will you give me one last kiss for the day?"

After scanning the hallway to ensure they were alone, Jongdae cupped Baekhyun's cheeks. His lips barely brushed against Baekhyun's when Baekhyun suddenly pulled him closer by the waist, causing their lips to collide. It caught Jongdae off guard, but his lips curled into a smile while they were pressed against Baekhyun's.

A gasp alerted the couple and split them apart quicker than lightning.

, we're dead.

"I knew I wasn't crazy. You've been happier than usual, spending time together all the time, according to Chanyeol."

"Well, now you know," Baekhyun merely shrugged his shoulders, "so what are you going to do about it?"

"It's none of my business."

"Oh... you're right."

"Baekhyun, I already said I was sorry--"

"And I already accepted your apology, so...?"

Jaehwa unconsciously tugged at the ends of her hair, her eyes landing on the cat ears on Jongdae's head. "You two look cute together, especially with the... jackets. You're lucky to have each other." She offered a smile before walking past them down the other end of the hallway.

Everything's going to be all right, just breathe, Jongdae. Breathe.

The couple later met Chanyeol at one of the stairwells and that was when Baekhyun remembered it was Jaehwa's birthday. That could be the only explanation as to why their kiss was so rudely interrupted.

"You owe me, big time," Baekhyun said to Chanyeol. Chanyeol didn't understand, but agreed anyway. He scurried away before Baekhyun could stall him further.

~~~

What had puzzled Baekhyun was why strangers were ually fantasizing about Jongdae when he, Byun Baekhyun, also known as Kim Jongdae's beloved boyfriend, did not. Baekhyun had already seen Jongdae once and that was all he could handle. He could tolerate Jongdae only in boxers, but completely bare and beautiful in the , Baekhyun couldn't do it. Jongdae was his cuddly sweetheart and his support. He couldn't see anything past that.

Well .

After two long hours of browsing the Internet on his laptop, Baekhyun buried his face in his hands. He had combed through all the search results and even taken numerous dumb quizzes, though by the time he was halfway through the first quiz he already knew the answer.

How was he going to break the news to Jongdae?

Baekhyun exited the private browser and shut off his laptop. Actual -- him having -- never stayed long enough in Baekhyun's mind to think about. He found himself shying away whenever he felt Jongdae on the verge of stepping over the comfort zone. That led to Baekhyun administering a boundary on how far he and the brunet would go when it came to touching. The two believed his discomfort was due to the incident in 8th grade. It only made sense, but then Baekhyun looked deeper and realized that couldn't have been the reason. Baekhyun felt ashamed recalling to that time they were totally about to do it, but he chickened out.

Baekhyun liked Jongdae, loved him more than life itself. Hell, Jongdae was his life. He loved Jongdae's willingness to listen and easy-going personality. Honestly, if Jongdae were to text him in the middle of the night and Baekhyun was tired, he wouldn't reply. With Jongdae, as guilty as Baekhyun felt at times, the brunet would respond even if he was half-asleep. Every little complaint Baekhyun had, Jongdae listened.

Baekhyun only paid attention to Jongdae's physique afterwards. He knew the basics, that Jongdae had strong arms from the constant cuddling. He remembered being sad about not being able to poke and pinch Jongdae's squishy chest and arms.

The , though. Baekhyun had slapped his boyfriend's so many times he lost track, but not once did Baekhyun think anything about it. Because of the loud erts at his school, Baekhyun started gawking and not because he wanted to... have a piece of it, but Baekhyun felt concerned because he didn't. It would be a lie to say Jongdae's wasn't nice cause it really was, but if others were ogling his boyfriend's , why wasn't he?

Jongdae had begun working out more often on his free time ever since the revelation of their relationship to his parents. Baekhyun understood Jongdae's need to keep his mind occupied and excercising was a healthy route. Baekhyun would rather Jongdae work out than turn to alcohol like Joonmyun had, but Baekhyun always worried Jongdae may overdo it and hurt himself. Sometimes Baekhyun felt guilty, that it was his fault Jongdae had gotten into the disagreement with his father, but he was also aware that if Jongdae was gay, Jongdae was gay. If it wasn't Baekhyun dating Jongdae, it may have well been another guy.

Um, no. Jongdae's mine. I'm the only one good enough for him.

Baekhyun sighed, rubbing his temple in slow circular motions. He couldn't believe Jongdae had gotten a part-time job. Baekhyun was not one to believe in students having jobs because being a student was enough work. Jongdae said he wanted money and to prepare himself for the future, so whatever. As long as Jongdae wasn't passing out from exhaustion, Baekhyun wouldn't interfere.

Aside from all that...

Baekhyun needed someone to talk to. Jongdae was automatically crossed off the list. Kyungsoo might laugh and ridicule him, then encourage him to watch some to find out what turned him on. Junmyeon was having his own love crisis. Chanyeol... even though the two made up months ago, Baekhyun felt unsure if Chanyeol would even respond.

The young man decided to give Chanyeol a shot, and besides, Chanyeol owed him.

While anticipating a positive response, Baekhyun prepped himself for bed. It wasn't until he was in the middle of changing into his pajamas when he heard his phone beep.

Yeoloser: my place would work, but what time is good for you? i'll make time.

Baekhyun: after school tomorrow?

Yeoloser: k

aksdjfsadjfoids I'm sorry for taking so long ;; I've been busy and suffering from post-concert depression in addition to everything else OTL

-160303 (r)