Through Muddy Water
Chapter 23: Tomorrow

At least father’s blows didn’t hurt any more.

Frowning as he looked in the mirror, WooBin studied the rainbow of colors that marred his skin. Most of them had faded from red and purple to an ugly mix of yellow and brown. All except for one, a single angry red stripe across his right cheek that was still stinging.

He hadn’t expected anything different to be honest. In fact, he even avoided his father as long as he could but nothing went unnoticed in the Song household. As soon as he even mentioned the men who had attacked him he was mentally prepared himself for the slap he knew was inevitable. It had been a long time since he flinched when his father raised his hand. Any cringing ceased a long time ago when he was four, had ducked the initial hit and then received twice the beating for being afraid.

“Are you ready to wake up and join us now?”

“Father…” he had found himself pleading.

“Get out of my sight.”

Never, he thought to himself as he touched the mark lightly. Never will I choose his side- I’d die before then.

Sighing, he lay down on his bed and slamming his fist into the mattress. He’d turned into a coward, a submissive coward. What he wouldn’t give to have taken a swing at his father, to watch him eat some of his own medicine for a chance. But that would make him just like his father and he refused to let that happen.

 He had nowhere to go. He certainly couldn’t burden anyone in the F4 right now, especially not with YiJung’s illness and JunPyo’s wedding coming up. Even JiHoo had too much going on for WooBin to allow himself to bother him. He would just have to grin and bear it.

His phone buzzed from somewhere across the room and he groaned, heaving himself off the bed. Everything was still sore from his run in with his father’s enemies. Half-dragging himself to the dresser where his cell was, he smiled as he looked at the number.

“Yobseyo?”

“YiJung-ah!” he replied happily. “You sound really good, how are you feeling?” he asked his friend, feeling his spirits lifting at the mere sound of the potter’s voice.

“Yeah,” came the reply. “Much better than yesterday. But how are you? I heard you were sick.”

“Oh yeah…” Woobin sighed, remembering the story they’d concocted to cover up the incident. “I’m fine. I just can’t come around you for a few days- it’s not good for you to be exposed to the germs.”

As he lied through his teeth, he was amazed by how much he wanted to come clean. That’s when it hit him that he’d never outright lied to YiJung before.  But now, here he was lying about being sick and lying about being fine. He was sick. Sick of his life, sick of being trapped and sick of bad news but he couldn’t open his mouth to say it. The last time he remembered feeling this way had found him standing on the edge of a bridge with YiJung begging him to come down.

“Yah, are you still there?”

“Y-yeah. I’m still here. I’m still here.”

“Your dad?”

Of course he would know, YiJung always knew. “Yeah.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He did, but he couldn’t.

“Not now,” he whispered. He couldn’t bring himself to talk about it knowing there were so many bigger issues at hand. Once again he found himself turning the attention off of himself and back to his friend. “Tell me about your morning,” he countered.

Yijung obliged- he always did and sometimes it was just easier that way.

***

At noon, all of the children had all scampered off to recess and in their absence, the classroom felt quite empty. If she forgot about Yijung’s cancer diagnosis, day to day life wasn’t so different until there was a lull that left too much to the imagination.

Just as she thought she was going to start getting emotional once again, the creak of the door being opened caused GaEul to spin on heel.

“Oh, JanDi!” she exclaimed, just the sight of her friend brightening her spirits a little.

JanDi gave her a smile and wave, holding up a lunchbox. “I thought we could eat.”

Nodding, she motioned for the other girl to come over. Moving a few stacks of paper she made enough for the two of them at her desk and watched as JanDi spread out the food between them.

“This looks great !” she praised, eyes lighting up at the egg rolls, rice, vegetables and fruit that had been neatly packed. Picking up a pair of chopsticks, she neatly picked up a mouthful, chewing carefully and trying not to laugh as JanDi stuffed twice the amount inter .

“You still eat like a chipmunk,” she laughed from across the table. “But I see why JunPyo likes these so much.”

She saw the smile creep over her friend’s face at the mention of the name. “Why so embarrassed?” she teased playfully, “he is your fiancée after all and in a few weeks he’ll be your husband.”

“Well actually,” JanDi hesitated, her usually bubbly demeanor dampening with every syllable, “That’s partially why I came today. To let you know that we cancelled the wedding.”

GaEul practically choked on a mouthful of rice, dropping her chopsticks and staring wide eyed. “What? The wedding isn’t going to happen?” JanDi looked upset, but not devastated and she was pretty sure if the two had broken up she would have been holding an emotionally wrecked friend, not one who was eating lunch casually in front of her.

“Calm down,” JanDi laughed. “It is, just not until YiJung’s feeling better. JunPyo and I thought it would be better to postpone things.”

“Oh,” she replied, not really sure what to say in a situation like this. There had been so much information being tossed at her for the past week it was hard to process. “Postpone…” he murmured, letting the word roll around , “Until when?”

“Just until the treatment is over,” JanDi said as she reached across the table to touch GaEul’s arm gently. “Then we can have a real celebration.”

She nodded, pushing more eggs into as words escaped her. She knew that she was supposed to be relieved by this piece of information but that feeling just wasn’t quite there yet. None of this made sense- any of it. Just a few weeks ago, she was going on a date with her boyfriend and planning a wedding with her best friend but today Yijung was at home, recovering from a round of chemo and JanDi was cancelling her big day.

“GaEul,” JanDi whispered, grasping her hand tightly as if she could see her confusion. “You understand right, we’re just trying to give YiJung some time to focus on getting better. Junpyo is worried that if we go on with the wedding it will be too much for him to worry about. You know how important those four consider their friendship to be.”

Nodding slightly, Gaeul gave her best smile to the girl across from her. “I know you mean well,” she affirmed slowly. “And whatever your decision may be I’ll support it. I just don’t know how he’s going to take this. I don’t know how to do this… I don’t know if this is right.”

“I’m sorry,” JanDi whispered.

Her friend’s apology only made things worse. Pulling her hand away, she wiped at her eyes which had suddenly gained tears. “A-a-anyo…” she stammered, the lump in growing, “I shouldn’t be this upset. I should be apologizing to you for messing up your w-w-wedding.”

“Ani,” JanDi exclaimed, standing up immediately and coming around to wrap her arms around Gaeul. “You don’t apologize for anything. None of this is your fault. None of this is Yijung’s fault either. It’s nobody’s fault, these things just happen.” She the other girl’s hair gently as she whispered in her ear. “Everything must be so confusing right now, I’m so sorry Gaeul. I’m so so sorry.”

Gaeul sniffed, her tears slipping down her cheeks unchecked now as she let her friend hold her. She hadn’t thought there were any tears left but she knew now that there was an endless supply no matter what she did to try and lessen the flow.

“Don’t cry, we’ll figure this out.” Jandi told her sincerely. “Whatever happens, I’ll be right here.  We’ll all be right here.”

***

“Finish that.”

Sitting at the  kitchen table, he knew it was an order and not an option.

“You know you’re the worst of them all,” Yijung teased as he stared at the spoonful of rice his friend was pointing at. Pushing it into his mouth, he forced himself to smile even though more food was the last thing he wanted at the minute. “Satisfied?”

“Yes, now drink all of that water.” Junpyo ordered, pointing his chopsticks at the glass of water this time around. His plate had already been cleaned long ago and it seemed he was taking the opportunity to push the potter into finishing as well.

Yijung made a face at the elder male. “Jihoo made sure you didn’t forget anything huh.” It honestly didn’t surprise him that the doctor had taken the time to brief one, if not all of his friends on how to ‘take care’ of him. With Woobin out of the picture for a few of the days Jihoo had completely taken over his role, albeit with a more patient-care type style.

Junpyo grinned widely and laughed. “He did, but he’s right.”

Nodding slightly, Yijung quickly swallowed and put the cup down definitively. “You better not be refilling this anytime soon.” He leaded back in his chair with a slight stretch and yawn. “Has WooBin called you?”

“Once, maybe twice. He’ll be back around in a few days,” was the nonchalant reply as Junpyo spooned more food onto his plate.

“Did he mention anything?” Yijung asked, wondering if Woobin was talking to anyone else about what was going on at his home. He highly doubted it seeing as his best friend was pretty private and only really talked to him about those sorts of things but it was worth a shot.

“Mmm nothing out of the ordinary. Why?” Junpyo questioned, his face showing a bit of surprise at the sudden question.

“No reason, I just miss seeing that kid that’s all.” He shrugged, picking up his plate and cup and carrying them to the sink.

 Junpyo followed him, with his own. He took the dishes from Yijung and began running the water. “I got this, go sit.”

“I’m not incapacitated you know,” Yijung half-teased. Sometimes it bothered him how much his friends were helping out, but other times although he’d never admit it, he liked the assistance. With every additional treatment he received, he lost more energy for the day and many everyday tasks took longer than he was used to.

“Yah! If someone offers to do dishes for you you take it. Aish,” the elder male complained as he pulled on rubber gloves and began making suds with the sponge.

“You do realize if you leave them there the housekeepers will do them in the morning for me,” he laughed, sitting back down and reclining comfortably.

In response, Junpyo turned and flicked a glob of suds at him with a smirk. “Be quiet and just let me do this, alright?”

Throwing his hands in the air, he exaggerated surrender and crossed his legs comfortably. “Why don’t you go home after you finish that,” he suggested. “It’s late and you must be wanting to see Jandi”. His words were actually a reflection of his own feelings. It was late and he himself wanted to see Gaeul but unfortunately she was probably already sleeping and he was unwilling to disturb her knowing that she had work the next day.

“You don’t want me to stay?” Junpyo inquired as he ran the water and rinsed the last few cups in the sink.

“I’ll be alright if you go. I’ll probably get myself ready for bed and then read a little before I sleep. Shouldn’t take too long, my appointment is pretty early tomorrow anyways.”

Junpyo nodded, drying his hands and folding the towel neatly. As haphazard as he seemed in person, he was much cleaner than Yijung ever remembered him being in their younger years. Perhaps the years of running an international company had changed some of his habits.

“Alright,” he agreed. “But let’s clean your central line before I go.”

“I’m impressed,” the potter replied with a raised eyebrow. “Either you studied hard or JiHoo threatened you,” he teased.

“Yeah well it’s important,” Junpyo said as he opened the cabinet to the left of the sink and stared at the perfectly arranged pre-packaged supplies. “That kid is unbelievable…”

“I know right, that’s Jihoo for you.” He shrugged slightly, “It does make it easier.”

Junpyo nodded, glancing at the list that was conveniently placed on the inside of the cabinet and taking out supplies one by one.

“One of those on the left, two of the blue packages on the left, one of those clear ones up top…” Yijung recited, pointing out each item easily. “What?” he asked as his friend carried them to the table and spread them out in a semi-organized fashion. “When you do this enough times you get to know the process.”

“I supposed,” Junpyo murmured, pulling on a pair of gloves and rather tentatively beginning the procedure.

“How are the wedding plans coming along?” he asked, trying to make conversation and forget about the weird looking contraption that was hanging from his chest. He barely felt it anymore and cleaning it several times a day was routine but looking at it still seemed so foreign.

“Fine,” was the reply he received.

“Well that’s pretty vague,” he laughed lightly as the familiar and all too disgusting taste of heparin filled his mouth. “Are you feeling good about things, is Jandi stressing about the preparations?” He didn’t mean to be annoying, but being cooped up all day left him wondering what was going on in his friends life. It seemed as if when you were sick that was mostly all people talked to you about.

“I don’t really know.”

“The wedding’s in two weeks and you don’t know?” he inquired.

“Don’t you think I’d say if I did,” came the instant snap.

Yijung sat back, slightly shocked at the outburst. He hadn’t thought anything of his questions but it appeared he’d breached a sensitive subject. “Why are you so upset? Is everything alright?”

“It’s fine,” his friend mumbled, stripping the gloves from his hands with a snap. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired. Things are fine, there’s just a lot between the company and home and…”

And here, Yijung thought to himself with a pang of guilt but at the same time anger. He felt bad for being a burden but it wasn’t as if he’d chosen to get sick. If he had it his way everything would be the way it was supposed to be.

“I know,” he replied, choking down anything else he might want to say. “And it’s late so you should go. JanDi’s waiting.”

Nodding, Junpyo threw out the trash from the used supplies and gathered his jacket from the back of his chair. Yijung watched as he shrugged it on and headed for the door, turning at the last moment to face him.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know,” he replied with a nod.

“See you tomorrow?” It was actually a question this time when most days it was a statement and Junpyo lingered with a hand on the doorframe waiting for a reply.

“Yeah,” Yijung confirmed easily, “See you tomorrow.”

***

Ah I can't believe my last update was in December... I honestly don't know what happened. I can't promise fas updates because I'm graduating in 2 weeks and it's going to get crazy but I am going to try and continue with this. If you're reading now than you are so amazing for sticking around and I want to thank you.

I'm not sure if this chapter flows with the rest all that well so any feedback would be greatly appreciated. It's been so long I could use some help getting back in the groove.

Thanks again!