I Don't Want To Talk About It

Through Muddy Water

Ahhh sorry my poor readers! Senior year of college has been beating me over the head and then writers block came along and everything went to pieces. Anyhow, here's a new chapter. I don't know how happy I am with it. This was the hardest one to write for some reason so please leave me some thoughts at the end. Then if I can fix it up I'll know what to pinpoint, thanks!

 

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Through Muddy Water
Chapter 20: I Don't Want to Talk About It

 

When he opened his eyes the next morning, he immediately regretted waking up.

WooBin’s head throbbed uncomfortably and he groaned, stretching out across the mattress. He winced when he realized that the pain wasn’t just isolated to his aching skull. Holding his side which hurt more than anything else, he slowly sat up. The bed he was in wasn’t his own, neither was the room. He was temporarily confused and from the way his head felt he could tell that he was nursing a concussion.

 Closing his eyes, he vaguely remembered regaining consciousness, staggering his was out of the alley and down the street, and then by some miracle making it to his intended destination before someone held him up long enough to take him inside and clean him up. Someone had put ice on his aching bruised, given him clean clothes, and put him in bed.

“JiHoo…” he breathed opening his eyes. He was glad it was JiHoo really, he was the most calm in the group. YiJung would have gone all emotional on him and YiJung would have worried too much.

Swinging his legs to the bed he laughed softly at the fact that the pants he wore were a few inches short. It was a weird thing to find funny but he smiled anyways. Ever so slowly he forced his sore body to stand shuffled down the hall.

 “Oh, you’re awake.” JiHoo looked up from where was sitting at the table, casually flipping through some sort of magazine or journal.

“Ne.” WooBin looked at the ground, embarrassed.

Rising, JiHoo pulled out the chair closest to him. “You should sit.”

WooBin nodded gratefully and easing into it gently, trying to avoid as much movement as possible. He put his elbows on the table and rubbed his temples hoping his headache would calm down.

“Yoegi… Eat that then take these.” The young doctor put a hot bowl of porridge in front of him along with a glass of water and two white pills.

He looked at the food, his stomach grumbling hungrily at the mere sight of it.“Gomawo.”

“You want to talk about it?” He could feel JiHoo’s eyes trying to connect with his and in turn, he tried to avoid them at all costs.

“Not really,” he murmured, looking down and stirring the porridge slowly.

 JiHoo leaned against the table, still looking at him. “WooBin. I’m not going to make you talk now but you know do need to talk about it, right?”

He had hoped that the conversation would have ended there but even so he knew that JiHoo was right to not let it pass over. He didn’t think he could ignore it if one of the F4 stumbled his way to his house in his present condition. Sighing, he spooned some of the porridge into his mouth. It was surprisingly good and he resisted the urge to greedily shovel it down.

“My father- he’s up to something again,” he began between bites. “And whoever he’s entangled with knows that I’m the next in the family line so naturally they came after me to get his attention.” He put the spoon down, taking the pills in his mouth and washing them away with the water. “But it doesn’t matter because I’m not involved,” he added quickly, stuffing more of his breakfast into his mouth.

“If you’re not involved, then what was last night?” JiHoo asked gently.

WooBin stiffened automatically at his words, putting his spoon down and shaking his head. “Don’t.”

“Wae?”

“I’m not like him.” He repeated. He wondered how many times he would have to repeat himself before someone believed him.

“I never said you were,” was the soft reply. There was a silence that filled the room as neither man spoke. JiHoo took a step back, giving WooBin space and taking up a seat on the far end of the table. “Look, WooBin-ah… whether you want to be or not, they’ve involved you.”

It made him uneasy to think that JiHoo was correct. He could feel his mouth get dry as he thought about it. “Just stop... jebal.”

 “Ya, you’re the one who came here last night. I can help you- we can help.”

“No one else needs to know,” he retorted rather threateningly, pushing the bowl away in defiance. After living alone for the past four years he didn’t know how else to react to this situation and he felt himself falling into his default defense mode.

“I know how this must feel…” JiHoo tried.

“You don’t know.” He half yelled standing up and instantly hissing as the pain in his side retaliated against the sudden motion. “I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it,” he managed through clenched teeth.

“Araso, we won’t talk about this now.” JiHoo conceded, approaching him and putting out a helping hand.

“JiHoo-ah,” he whispered straightening up once more and finding the courage to meet the doctor’s eyes.

“Gomawo- for uh… taking care of me.”

“I know.”

“I still feel like I’m on my own. I know you’re all back now but…”

JiHoo shook his head to silence him. “I know, but we’re not going anywhere now so take care of yourself. I don’t know what we’d do without you-especially YiJung.”

“Oh, YiJung-ah.” He looked up and suddenly realized where he had been headed before the attack.

JiHoo gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, JunPyo’s over there.”

“Oh, Chincha?” It made sense because JiHoo was here with him, but WooBin had a hard time imagining JunPyo and YiJung spending time together alone.

“Mmm. He went to keep him company last night. He called this morning and said everything was just fine.”

“Was he… asking about me?” He knew he had probably made YiJung worry all night but he wanted to make sure he wasn’t forgotten.

“Are you kidding?” JiHoo raised an eyebrow.

He looked at him, anticipating an answer.

“Of course pabo, that must have been some whack on the head to make you think he wouldn’t ask about you.”

WooBin smiled, feeling a bit foolish for his insecurity. “Does he know… about last night?”

“Anyo. We said you were sick and didn’t want to risk being around him. It should buy you a few days to rest up. If you can stay away for that long,” he teased playfully.

“I’ll try,” he said quite seriously before cracking a grin as well.

“Ah well…” JiHoo smiled, looking down at WooBin’s exposed shins. “I had to throw away most of your clothes. Shall we go get you a more suitable outfit?”

Nodding, he finished his water already feeling better about the day.

“Ga Ja!”

 

***

 

It was rather nice to work in a different environment; YiJung’s kitchen was open, airy, and bright which made him feel comfortable and productive.

JunPyo read over the forms in front of him, feeling the sun’s warmth on the paper underneath his fingertips. He couldn’t believe how accustomed to the workload he had become. Of course it was challenging, but nearly as much as it had been when he first took over the business.

“What smells so strong?”

He looked up to see JunPyo in the doorway, nose wrinkled.

“Smell? What smell?” He had no clue what YiJung was talking about.

“Did you make breakfast?”

“Ne.”

“That must be it,” the potter commented, yawning and joining him at the table.

“Ya, I’m a pretty good cook you know. JanDi taught me a lot too.” He narrowed his eyes defensively.

YiJung laughed at his expression. “I didn’t say it smelled bad. My sense of smell is just heightened since I started treatment.”

“Oh.” He kept learning new things about the potter’s chemo every day. Some of it was scary, some of it was helpful, and some of it was just odd little facts like this one.

YiJung yawned again, looking around lazily. “What time is it?”

“Around one.”

JunPyo swore he saw his friend’s jaw drop. He laughed at the reaction, remembering the days where it was the opposite and he was the one sleeping in.

“You’re kidding.”

“Aniyo. Look,” he leaned over and flashed him his watch.

YiJung groaned unhappily. “I slept so much.”

“You were tired. We were up pretty late. I only got here around three in the morning. Cut yourself some slack,” JunPyo reassured him, neatly gathering his papers and placing them back in his briefcase. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really, maybe in a bit. I should go wash up.”

“Araso,” he shifted in his seat slightly uncomfortable with the next question. “Uh… JiHoo said you have to uh- clean your central line. He said something about a binder with instructions.”

“Oh, ne.” YiJung nodded like it was no big deal at all. “The information’s on my desk but I can walk you through it. It’s not that difficult. I’ll just go change and then bring everything out here.”

JunPyo nodded, still a bit flustered at the prospect of handling such an important task. He was also confused by the potter’s willingness to be helped. This was certainly a different YiJung than he knew, but then again he realized he never really knew YiJung- at least not like WooBin knew him.

As he left, the potter paused at the door, turning around. “About last night…”

JunPyo shook his head. “Don’t you dare apologize.”

A long time ago he might have felt like he was owed an apology but not now. He wasn’t sure when he started to change, but in the past few weeks back in Korea he was slowly becoming a better friend, fiance, and man.

“JunPyo.” YiJung looked back again.

“Ne?”

“Gomawo.”

“Aish! Just go get dressed already.” He smiled through the mock annoyance. His face grew warm with slight embarrassment but all the same, he was happy to hear that he was appreciated.

YiJung smiled again. “Araso, araso. What are you in a hurry to go somewhere? I’m not keeping you from JanDi right?”

“Anyo.”

YiJung surveyed him closely, suddenly frowning. “You must have a lot to do with the wedding coming up.”

“Ne,” he lied, not willing to tell him the truth. “But the staff’s handling a lot and well- you know my mother. I’m sure everything is right on schedule.”

He could tell by the look on the potter’s face that YiJung seemed to find his statement quite amusing. “You know, I never imagined the great chairwoman Kang would be planning the wedding of Goo JunPyo and Guem Jan Di.”

“It is something isn’t it. Hard to believe she used to spend her days scheming of ways to get rid of her.” He smiled fondly at the memory shaking his head in disbelief. They shared comfortable and familiar laughter for a few moments before JunPyo briefly checked his watch. “Ya! Not ready yet? Get going.” He shooed his friend with his hands.

“Ya,” YiJung laughed, “Chincha? Jugulle*?”

“Aish… “ he exclaimed, “using my own expressions against me now are you.” He raised an eyebrow trying to hold back his good mood and portray an air of coolness.

YiJung simply rolled his eyes and put his hands in the air. “I’m going, I’m going.”

 

***

 

The night air was refreshing and the freedom of being by himself rejuvenated his mind a little bit.

It wasn’t that JunPyo hadn’t enjoyed the day at the So residence, it was just that it had taken quite a lot of deliberate action for JunPyo to get through the day. Between nervously learning how to care for someone sick and awkwardly trying to return to a friendship that had been on hiatus for four years, he was ready to have a break.

His phone range and he glanced at the screen before answering.

“Oh JiHoo-ah, I’m just leaving YiJung’s now.”

“Chincha?”

“Ne, he said he was going to sleep and he’d be fine for the night. I reminded him that you’ll be there in the morning to pick him up.”

“Gomawo.”

“How is WooBin? Are you guys alright?”

“Ne. He’s sore and he’ll need a week or so to fully heal but he’s alright.”

“What happened?”

“Some people trying to send a message to his father jumped him on the way to YiJung’s. I got him to open up about it a little bit but he’s pretty touchy on that subject. I think he’s worried about what we think of him.”

JunPyo couldn’t help but notice that JiHoo sounded as weary as he did on the other end of the phone.

“Ne, YiJung doesn’t talk much about his problems either.” He added, understanding the doctor’s frustrations.

“How was he today? I mean really, how is he?”

His friend’s question was expected, but nonetheless still unsettlingly direct. He had unsuccessfully willed that they would skip this part of the chat. JunPyo was tired, feeling stressed and just wanted to go home to his fiancée without any more conversation.  

“He’s… alright. He was in a good mood today but I know he’s thinking about her. Although he didn’t say anything about her, was continuously checking his phone. It just feels like he’s missing something- like he’s almost himself but not,” he wearily replied.

JiHoo audibly sighed over the phone. “Kurae. I don’t know what to do about those two. We can’t force him to call her and we can’t make her come to see him either.” He sighed once more. “Otoke?”

“Mollayo.” He muttered with nothing left to say.

There was a long pause. “Mian JunPyo, I know today was a long day for you. Let’s end this conversation for the night. Go home and get some rest, araso?”

JunPyo smiled, still amazed at how well they could read each other even on the phone.

“Ne, I’ll meet you two at the hospital after my nine o’clock meeting. It shouldn’t take more than three hours at most.”

“We’ll still be there; all day just like the last time.” The weariness was back in JiHoo’s tone, JunPyo could hear the strain of the words.

“JiHoo-ah, it’s long but we’re one step closer to beating this thing.”

“Kurae. You’re right. Let’s hope the process goes quickly for all of our sakes.” He paused as if to regroup his thoughts before continuing. “Araso, goodnight JunPyo.”

“Goodnight JiHoo. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

***

 

Again, feedback especially for this one is appreciated.
Also... I have most of the next chapter ALREADY WRITTEN. Therefore I'm hoping for an update tomorrow ^^ (Totally not trying to make it up to you for taking so long with this update or anything... hehe)

Thanks for being faithful readers, saranghayo!

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Comments

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TIGGYBINK #1
This is such a beautiful story.. I hope you will update this one. I have read it several times and it never gets old. Awesome writer and please return soon! Fighting!!
likatulay #2
Chapter 25: Awe that is the beautitul story.. I hope you will update this one..
FeroxSpiritus #3
Chapter 25: You have a great writing style. I've read a lot of BOF fanfic and I have to say that this one will probably stay with me, you made me cry :P lol You're very talented, keep it up! :)
aLiceLee
#4
Chapter 25: finally an update... i was waiting for it for so long.... keep up the good work..love ur story...:-D
LumosStorm #5
Chapter 25: new reader here!!! awesome story!!
update soon, neh!
WooULuver #6
Chapter 25: OMGEEE <3 This has got to be the most awesome story of SoEul I've ever read <3 I hope you'll update soon C: I really love this story <3 update when you have time <3

P.S - You've got yourself a NEW SUBSCRIBER AND READER <3
camayxxx #7
Chapter 25: glad that uve updayed.. been reading this since lovers unparrarelled days.. thanks
shining_writer #8
In the glossary of Korean words, the Korean word for 'What' should be "Mwoh", instead of "Bwoh". It's just that when Koreans pronounce "Mwoh", it sounds like "Bwoh".
kachan08 #9
Chapter 25: OMG just started reading it today and I'm hooked. A very different and real plot, which makes it so refreshing although the story is a sad one. Its good to see the bonds btw the f4 brothers are stronger than ever and Gaeul starting to accept the reality and realise that she must be stronger. Keep on fighting yi jeong.. My thoughts and prayers are with u. I've lost some relatives due to cancer I hope ur bf mum find the strength to keep on fighting no matter how hard and hurt things are. Hopefully she'll get the good news and be cancer free!!
rbest320
#10
Chapter 25: I'm so glad your back, author-nim! my thoughts are with your boyrfriend's mother too. Fighting!