Ok for real though, this is the last update for a bit. Too- much- college- work... ugh.
This was my last "free" night so I thought I'd get another chapter in. But never fear, we have a ncie long break for Quad finals starting Thursday so new chapters shall commence being written Wednesday once my exam is done!

 

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Through Muddy Water

Chapter 17: As Long As You Need


The car ride home was so silent that the guilt welled up inside him until he had to bite his tongue not to confess to his friend.

WooBin kept his eyes on the road, knowing it was better to wait to discuss the incident at the hospital. After sitting numbly on the floor he had picked himself back up, collected his thoughts, and gone back to YiJung’s side. By that time the new medications had kicked in and found the potter dozing and no longer wracked with the nausea that had reared its ugly head earlier.

YiJung didn’t know the slew of words he had hurled at GaEul earlier. For all he knew, she had gone home upset after seeing him have such an adverse reaction to the chemo. It wasn’t that he wanted to keep the episode from his friend, it just seemed like too much to hand the poor guy.

YiJung made a noise that sounded like a cross between a whimped and a groan from the passenger seat.

“We’re almost home,” WooBin promised, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. “Are you feeling sick again? I can pull over.”

“Anyo,” he sighed, exasperated. “I’m just tired.”

WooBin wished that for YiJung tired meant tired like he was but it was quite apparent that tired meant an entirely different level of fatigue for his friend.

Pulling in to the driveway, he unbuckled quickly and opened the door for YiJung. “Here,” he instructed, bending down to ease the potters arm over his shoulder. “Watch your head.”

Together they made their way through the gate. WooBin easily unlocking the door while keeping a grip on his friend. It vaguely reminded him of all the nights he’s an inebriated YiJung home from whatever club he was kicked out of. If only this time it was as simple as that.

When he eased him onto the bed, YiJung lay down almost immediately and closed his eyes.

“Let’s get you in better clothes before you sleep araso?” WooBin opened a few drawers looking for something more comfortable. It felt strange to be invading his space but there was no way around it.

“Don’t you have anything that’s not so fashionable?” He almost laughed but the stifling silence killed his momentary happiness before he had a chance to.

“Bottom drawer.”

Finding what he was looking for, he approached the bed. “Sit up for a second.”

YiJung oblidged, slowly sitting on the edge of the bed. WooBin reached over and started to undo the top button of his shirt.

The potter resisted immediately.

“Hajima, you’re going to wear yourself out. Just let me help.”

He shook his head, trying to push him away unsuccessfully.

“Ya,” WooBin argued, firmly removing his hands from the shirt. “I’m just going to it. You can barely sit up straight- save your energy, araso?”

Rather reluctantly the potter let go. When he was finished WooBin took the dirty clothes and tossed them in the hamper as he watched YiJung stubbornly and laboriously wrestle his way into a clean t-shirt.

“It’s okay to need help you know.”

YiJung said nothing and WooBin left the room to give him privacy to finish changing.

Pulling a bottle of water from the fridge he sighed. YiJung hadn’t spoken to any of them since GaEul left. He was sure a lot of it was because he wasn’t feeling well, but that wasn’t his only reason for falling silent. It killed him to see his friend so upset when he had his health to worry about. The guilt he felt for losing his temper earlier still weighed heavily in the pit of his stomach.

He poured the water into a glass, wondering if his words had greater consequence than he anticipated. He had never expected this.

The room was silent when he re-entered. The potter was lying on his back, apparently dozing at first sight but WooBin could tell he wasn’t actually sleeping.

“YiJung-ah.”

There was no reply.

“YiJung-ah.” He tried a little louder approaching him.

“Wae?” the potter complained, rolling away to face the wall.

He held up the glass. “Drink this.”

“I don’t want to.” He stubbornly refused.

“You need to,” WooBin insisted kneeling down by the bed.

YiJung completely ignored him. It was starting to get irritating, the childish behavior but WooBin held back knowing he’d already caused enough torment for the day. Besides, none of this was YiJung’s fault.

“If you don’t, you’re going to get dehydrated and sick and I’ll have to bring you back to the hospital for an IV. It’s only going to help you to drink,” he coaxed carefully.

Shrugging off the blanket, YiJung turned back over lifted himself up just enough to take a few sips.

“Can you try a little more?”

He narrowed his eyes but silently he listened, pushing the glass away when it was half empty. “No more. Just let me sleep,” he murmured turning away again and burrowing beneath under the covers.

“Gomawo, I’ll leave you alone for a bit now if that’s what you want.

There was a slight nod, a shifting of the blanket, a signal to go.

WooBin paused before leaving, trying to find the right words. “She’s going to come back.”

To this statement there was no reply, just the sound of quiet breathing.

***

He had a headache from thinking too much. It wasn’t unusual for him to have several things on his mind at once but trying to do paperwork on a major business deal after spending the morning watching your friend suffer in a hospital room was just too much.

With his elbows on his desk, JunPyo rested his head in his hands. The day’s events kept playing over and over in his mind and he thought his brain could burst from the repetition.

“JunPyo?” came a soft voice and knock on the door.

“Wae?” he bellowed, harsher than he meant to.

The door opened and his fiancée stepped inside, cautiously approaching his desk. Luckily his outburst hadn’t seemed to bother her.

“Gwaenchana?” She asked worriedly.

He said nothing but pulled her into his arms tightly so she couldn’t see his pained expression. YiJung and GaEul were now a constant example- a reminder to appreciate what he had. Burying his face into her hood he just stood there, feeling her warm body against his chest.

She didn’t struggle, but rather let him hold her, seemingly understanding that this was what he needed.

“How bad was it?” she whispered softly.

“Pretty bad,” he admitted, voice muffled by the embrace. “He was really uncomfortable for a few hours. I don’t think he could have had anything left to throw up by the time the medicine started helping.”  

“How are you?”

He sighed, picking up his chin and resting in atop of her head. “I’m alright now. It’s just hard to concentrate on this while he’s going through all of that. I’ll get through it though. I have to.” He was so thankful that they were able to talk about this now. He needed this, he need her to share these feelings with.

Stepping back and leaning against his desk he cupped her chin in his hands. “How’s GaEul doing?”

“She’s not talking really. Mostly crying. I finally got her to eat something and she’s asleep upstairs for the time being. I’ll take her back to her house tomorrow and spend the night there. She shouldn’t be alone.”

“Ne. That’s a good idea. You’re a great friend to her.” He acknowledged with a sad smile.

She looked down at the ground uncomfortably.“JunPyo…”

“Ne?”

“I’ve been thinking…”

“About?” he played with her fingers between his.

“The wedding, I wanted to keep going because I wanted everything to be perfect. It was selfish. Let’s wait a bit longer. I can’t go through with this after understanding the situation today. You- you were right, mian.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” He assured as he pulled her closer.

She sniffed, fighting tears. “I just got so scared this morning. What if something happened to you? What if it was us and not them? They waited for years and they don’t even get the happy ending we have. I feel so guilty just for even thinking about our wedding.”

“Anyo, don’t cry.” He wiped the tears from her cheek softly. “You didn’t do anything wrong. We had things planned before YiJung gotsick. You can’t help any of this. Nobody could help it- it just happened.”

“It’s- not –fair.” She sobbed into his shoulder.

For a moment he had no clue what to do because JanDi had never been one for hysterics or tears in front of him. Instincts took over quickly however and he held her so close he could feel her heart beat over his. “I know jagiya, I know. We have all the time in the world together. I won’t go anywhere.” He her hair, fighting his own tears. “You and I are strong. YiJung and GaEul are strong. We’re all strong. We’ll get through this, I promise.”

I promise.

***

The house was dark- with every day closer to winter the sun set later and later and the air slowly lost it’s warmth.

WooBin fretted by the potters bedside. It had been a solid five hours since the crippling nausea had subsided but yet his friend continued to toss and turn in his bed. Shaking his head, WooBin dabbed at YiJung’s forehead with a towel. YiJung’s body had begun trying to process the poisonous drugs, sweating them out as he tried to sleep.

It was nearing three oclock in the morning and he felt his own body was starting to grow weary but he didn’t want to leave the room. Biting his lip, WooBin put the towel down and lay down on the bed beside YiJung.

 “What are you doing?” YiJung whispered.

“Staying next to you.” He replied, switching off the lamp on the nightstand.

There was a long silence and WooBin thought that maybe he had finally fallen asleep. Listening to the soft, easy breathing of his comrade, WooBin felt comfortable enough to begin to drift off. He awoke a moment later however as the potter shifted positions with a sigh.

“Gwaenchana?”

“Mollayo.” He rolled over again, this time to the other side.

“Feeling sick?”

“Ani.. ne… ani… mollayo.” He rubbed his face in his hands anxiously. “Mollayo.”

WooBin turned to face him, looking at his friend’s profile in the dark. “She’ll come back.”

YiJung closed his eyes. “You don’t know that.”

“She loves you she just needs time.”

“You don’t know.” He whispered in the dark.

“I do. She will.” He replied decisively, returning to his back and staring up at the ceiling.

There was another long pause.

“WooBin-ah?”

“Mmm?”

In the dark YiJung’s voice was small and feeble like a little child’s. “I don’t want to feel like this.”

He closed his eyes trying not to think about the long road ahead. “I know, it’ll get better.”

“You don’t know that.”

Fighting his own doubts he nodded even though it was too dark to see.  “I do know.”

“You don’t know.”

“I do. Now go to sleep.”

“Only if you sleep too.” He warned, also laying on his back and staring above them.

“I will.”

“You won’t.”

He didn’t know why, but the bickering made him feel a little better. Folding his arms beneath him he let a small smile escape. “Ya, chincha? Sleep already.”

“Always bossing me. Just like when we were younger.” YiJung yawned, voice fading into the night.

WooBin watched his eyes flutter closed, pleased to see him settle down finally. It brought him back to the days when he used to run from the heated and violent arguments his father was often engaged in one night and find himself sheltering YiJung from his mother’s problems the next. “I’ll stay as long as you need,” they would promise before turning out the lights.

YiJung… right now, I’ll stay as long as you need.

***

It's a little shorter but it was a good break to start a new chapter at.
Sorry SoEul fans, GaEul will return to the story soon I just need to play out a few things before them. I hope it's not dragging on too much- I don't want it to get mundane so let me know if it starts feeling sluggish.

The big questions are... Will she come back? Will WooBin confess to what really happened (remember, YiJung doesn't know!)... Is the wedding really on hold? I'm not letting any secrets out so you'll have to stay tuned hehe

Also, I apologize for another depressing chapter. Please read something else after this to cheer you up ^^