14. Friends

     Daehyun was still friends with Youngjae despite their awkward past and all the rumors that had up and surfaced in the time they were in the industry. Daehyun didn’t think too much of it but as a God fairing child, Youngjae felt a little weird and when he finally came out to the younger male, Youngjae got a bit of a culture shock and he wasn’t sure what to do. Daehyun told him he just had to keep being his friend and Youngjae found that easy enough to do. They went out for bubble tea and pizza and they did normal friend things but even that was enough to get gossip started. People thought they were going on dates when it wasn’t anything like that. Youngjae even had a girlfriend. She was an unsuspecting fan and a quiet girl. She thought it was humorous but Youngjae was always scared she might get jealous. She wasn’t. Daehyun thought it was funny too and they got along grand. He considered her a friend too.

     Now, Yongguk seemed to have a more unsuspecting friend. Jongup. When he was with the kid, he always felt more at ease and his heart just beat easily when he was around him. Jongup’s odd mentality and skewed world views made Yongguk want to be around him. Even if they weren’t talking, there would be days where Yongguk would just sit by him while he played on his 3DS and they wouldn’t utter a word. Jongup was a cool person, Yongguk thought. He wasn’t all there and Yongguk on a few occasions really felt more like a father than a friend to him because Jongup didn’t know things about himself like he was supposed to. He didn’t have a favorite animal or a favorite color. He felt like a shell of a human and Yongguk was going to support him no matter what.

     Daehyun on the other hand was more of Junhong’s mentor. After Yongguk and Junhong’s breakup, Daehyun was there for the boy to be a shoulder to cry on but he was also gathering information on Yongguk simultaneously. It was a terrible thing to use the boy’s heartbreak to his advantage but there he was, sitting with Junhong in the bathroom while he bathed the poor kid because he just didn’t have the effort to move anymore. Daehyun was going to get him back on his feet and he was almost swept off his. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t kiss Junhong more than a friend should. Friends shouldn’t kiss, but they did and Daehyun told him it was innocent skinship but he wanted more. Daehyun sometimes wishes he did something with him but he also was glad he waited it out for Yongguk.

     And even though they were dating, Daehyun and Yongguk were still friends if they could just drop the whole romantic act for one second around one another. They went on completely unromantic endeavors like going bowling and more often than not they’d end up shoving one another if they were winning by more than a 50 point margin. They watched TV and played games and ate snacks loudly and went on online chatrooms and acted like idiots. Daehyun and Yongguk were the best of friends and they both still also frequented going out with Himchan as well.

     He was living alone now and Himchan got lonely. He hadn’t found a boyfriend because he was waiting it out for the perfect man and he still, deep down, thought it was Yongguk, but he wasn’t going to wait on something that wasn’t going to happen. Himchan decided he’d die alone if it came down to it but for now, being friends with him was good enough. The three of them would go out for lunch or breakfast and maybe catch a movie. When it was just he and Yongguk, they’d go to museums and when Himchan and Daehyun went out alone together, they just went to parks and talked about life and growing older. Himchan thought that he was too old to find happiness anymore and Daehyun told him that was flat out nonsense.

     It got to a point where Daehyun would send Yongguk to a hotel because Himchan didn’t want him around when he had his breakdowns at their place. Daehyun would comfort him and Himchan just poured out his heart and soul into Daehyun and admitted to him he was the best friend he’d ever had in his life. No one had ever just listened to him and more often than not he was told he was a drama queen and he needed to dry up his tears because that was life. Himchan said to Daehyun one night that if that was life he didn’t want to be alive.

     With those words, Daehyun broke down as well and held Himchan close to his chest and told him it was all going to be okay. You don’t need another person in your life to make you complete. He was allowed to cry but he wanted Himchan to know he wasn’t alone. He was there for him through thick and thin and Daehyun would answer his four in the morning calls and he’d take a taxi to Himchan’s small apartment and eat ice cream straight from the tub and watch ty movies with him if he needed it. Daehyun knew that even after all these years he still wanted Yongguk and it was like salt in the wound that Daehyun was simultaneously his best friend and the one who made him this miserable. He couldn’t do anything about that though.

     In the end, Daehyun thought that the concept of friendship was pretty weird. You just had these people who were like a blanket on a cold winter’s day no matter what season it was. Sometimes the blanket didn’t suffice and sometimes you just didn’t need it. But when you did, it was there. Other times, the blanket will steal the love of your life and you’ll just stare on with regret. The same blanket that can be a shelter can also be a noose.