12. A Favorite Memory

Daehyun remembered when he first met Yongguk and how he slowly fell for him. He first came across scary as hell. He was taller than him and taller than most of the males he’d seen in his life. His face was stoic and he looked like he meant business. He was the last to come into the group and Yongguk just seemed to brush him off with a grunt and a few vague hand motions as if to say ‘Welcome, burden’. Daehyun wanted to keep his distance, but he found himself so drawn to him once they started their ‘reality’ show. He had a gummy smile and it warmed Daehyun to the core. He was always around the second oldest member, Himchan, though. He wanted to be jealous but it was expected.

                When they debuted, Daehyun was excited because that meant he might get a chance to sit next to Yongguk when they had fansigns. He did once and someone caught on camera the two of them making eye contact and then laughing. He kept that memory fond because he thought that was one time he really knew he had developed a crush on Yongguk. He always looked so terrifying but in reality he was anything but that. Yongguk was a loveable and caring leader and it took him awhile to figure that out. Yongguk was first and foremost their leader and a producer before he was their friend. Daehyun wished they could be so much more.

                Power happened, and Daehyun watched him work perilously though a finger surgery and he danced up on stage with a cast though treacherous choreo and Daehyun knew he had to work harder than ever to make up for the injured member. Yongguk seemed to hold his own though and Daehyun once even stopped him to tell him he was proud of Yongguk’s hard work, and he was rewarded with a tired but tight hug, and that was the first he’d ever gotten from the leader. He was always telling everyone else how good they were at their roles but Yongguk himself ever got praised when he was the one who deserved it the most. That was when Daehyun saw Yongguk tip the scale and let his heart open up to Daehyun more.

                When No Mercy occurred, Yongguk was dating Junhong and he talked to Daehyun about it like it was a covert mission because he was so scared about it all. Daehyun told him it would all be okay when in reality Daehyun wanted Yongguk to himself but he dared not speak of the Devil, or he shall appear. He wasn’t going to be the one to tip Yongguk to his final breaking point and he talked him through panic attacks now and he was the one who held Yongguk’s hand when it was too dark at night because Junhong was asleep and he didn’t understand these complex emotions just yet. Daehyun didn’t quite grasp them either but he sure as hell could try.

                Crash and Stop It happened, and the two words could not better describe how Yongguk turned out after he and Junhong had to split. Daehyun watched him fall into a pit of despair and he really was at the bottom of this hole and for such happy songs Yongguk’s soul was blacker than the voids in space and he was a star that had burned out. Daehyun wanted his light to shine again more than anyone else he thought. He made Yongguk cupped ramen every night and told him it was all going to be okay. He tucked him in when no one else would and now Daehyun felt guilty because he wanted something from the leader in return for all his hospitality.

                Rain Sound was paired with One Shot and then Yongguk rose from the dead and Himchan was MIA from promotions, but Daehyun was starting to see the life come back into Yongguk’s eyes and as bad as it was, that’s what he cared about. Also, Yongguk was starting to show him affection and he knew this was the start of something beautiful. It was more beautiful than the music video set for Rain Sound and bonds were tighter then the pants they were forced to wear. Yongguk liked them though because Daehyun caught him checking out his in them. A lot.

                The they were both bad men with Badman and Yongguk and Daehyun finally got down to the nitty gritty and late night talks were silenced with kisses and casual conversation was so much more short when it was in place of gasps and moans from the touching that Daehyun longed for since two years prior. He wanted to be with Yongguk like this for the rest of his life and he wanted to see with world with him. Everything felt so right with him by Yongguk’s side.

                And dreams came true as they awaked to their first senses with First Sensibility and they were off to the continents and Daehyun and Yongguk held hands in San Francisco and no one cared. They shared food and watched the sunset on the beach in so many places. They went to a baseball game and made fools of themselves but that was okay because they were by each other’s side. Daehyun had never felt more delighted and Yongguk never felt more at ease.

                Daehyun sighed remembering it all. He loved the fact that things all came together, no matter how rocky the whole situation was. They were as one now that and that’s what mattered most to Daehyun in the long run. No matter the bleak greeting and the hard times, he loved Yongguk and everything was over and done. They lived together in peace and every night he didn’t have to wonder if he’d be next to Yongguk in bed or on stage. There were no more ‘what ifs’, because if memory served Daehyun correct, Yongguk loved him just as much too, and if not more.