1.Something You Love

Yongguk always found it hard to express his love for Daehyun because everyone around the world thought they were so awkward around each other. He didn’t think they were. He just knew his limits and that public displays of affection could really affect them. Daehyun didn’t seem to mind either. He liked Yongguk more than anyone could ever know. He treated the man like he was a God and an idol and sometimes as a father figure or a brother, but that never stopped him from kissing Yongguk square on the lips even though he had to stand on his toes. Yongguk always found the times when he’d pick Daehyun up on his shoulders and run around with him the best.

                Daehyun didn’t think it was hard to tell Yongguk he loved him, but sometimes it was admittedly weird with everyone around and fooling around in a twin sized bed was harder than he ever imagined. He also didn’t like holding hands because his got really sweaty and though he would enjoy resting his head in Yongguk’s lap, that was another one of those things where other members would make comments and he thought it was just really uncomfortable with all eyes on them. He loved Yongguk more than he thought his body could handle, but sometimes, it was hard. Daehyun always found the times when they were on midnight strolls hand in hand the very best.

                Though, the two of them especially didn’t find it hard to express love when they were in the studio together, recording something new or Daehyun was just keeping Yongguk company while he tireless toiled away at some new lyrics or he was composing a new track. No matter how many times Daehyun told him to take a break, Yongguk was always working harder and harder. If there was a second love in his life after Daehyun, it was his music. Yongguk felt like that it was his entire being and that without it, Bang Yongguk wouldn’t be Bang Yongguk. He wanted to be sure he put Daehyun before it though, and it was hard sometimes especially when that was his work. He was always appreciative though when Daehyun brought him a coffee despite the fact that it was nearing 4am. Some milk, three sugars, and a little bit of almond flavoring.

                Daehyun figured his second love after Yongguk might have been food or music too, but he wasn’t quite sure. He was still figuring out what it was like to be an adult, and that scared him most nights more often than not. He’d cry into Yongguk’s strong chest and ask him how he had it all together so early in his life. Yongguk gently reminded him that he was 25 and by societal standards that wasn’t young at all, but Daehyun had said that his parents told him that life doesn’t really start until you’re in love, and now that his life was starting, he didn’t know where to go with it. Yongguk just held him to his chest and he didn’t know what to say. Later that day, he’d bring him out for a coffee. Black.

                Yongguk never took those words too closely. He thought he was living his life just fine. He thought that it was on track and sure, there were a few things he’d like to do a little differently, but what was the point in complaining when he couldn’t fix what was already done? He had friends and a loving family and the world’s best boyfriend, though he was biased on that opinion. Daehyun was always there for him and he was supporting while Yongguk felt like he could have maybe been a more casual leader to him than one with an iron fist. He was too harsh on Daehyun in practice because he knew that Daehyun could do more, and that sometimes put a strain on their relationship and it would dribble over in their personal life. Daehyun didn’t like to be yelled at and there would be days where there would be silence between them, but the younger would always come around and then the remaining four boys would have to vacate to dorms because Yongguk and Daehyun would be going at each other everywhere and all day. Himchan hated to clean up after them because they’d always be asleep at the end of it all.

                Love, the two of them decided, shouldn’t have to be a milestone in life though because it wasn’t something that should be dated. You could love something or someone when you’re four, or you could feel it for the first time when you’re in your 40’s. They just so happened to love each other at an easy midway under some stressful circumstances, but that didn’t make their feelings any less genuine and if anything, the passion between them was more intense and the secretiveness of it made everything exciting and the fire that both of them had within their souls burned brighter and no one could dim them. Daehyun’s lips against Yongguk’s own made the older of the two think that this was what he worked so hard for. He wanted to make Daehyun a proud man. He would buy them a house and though he couldn’t cook, he was going to try. They’d make it work, Yongguk was sure. Daehyun was sure as well.

                Days and nights passed in one another’s arms in beds smaller than they would have liked. They dreamed of memory foam and king sized mattresses and maybe even room for a dog or a cat. There would be pillows stacked high and thread counts that would put their record sales to shame. Most importantly though, the comfort of one another is what was the most vital to them. Had they been sleeping on cardboard out in the rain in the middle of winter, but still in each other’s general presence, Daehyun and Yongguk both agreed that would be enough because their love would keep them safe, warm, and at ease.