"  When I reach a point I can't feign ignorance

At least I could choose to love myself  " 

       They start eating as soon Ryeohyun steps into the dining table area, talking incessantly about trivial things.

       "How'd you cope with your new busy life?"

       Startled Ryeowook blinks, is the question for him? - He wonders. When he realizes all pair of eyes is on him, he lets the silence settles in first before he speaks with a low voice, "I'm fine. I still can manage." Somehow the question leads him to believe this 'new busy life' he is experiencing, is involving the familiar person.

       Donghae has this don't-ridicule-me look on his face with his narrow eyes on the smaller. The other male contemplates on whether he should believe Ryeowook or just leave it as it is, and he chooses the latter. This doesn't mean Eunhyuk trusts the smaller, he just give some time for the younger before he corners the latter somewhere later.

       The young designer knows his daughter is not convinced with him - she drops her gaze on the food and plays it absentmindedly. Ryeowook doesn't truly satisfies with his answer either, nor he feels he want to admit to himself that he is far from fine. Plus, his friends will make sure he doesn't fall apart again, right?

       Ryeowook feels suffocated all of sudden. "I'm done," the younger male speaks softly, rises to his feet to dump the meals in the bin and heads to the piano room upstairs.

       The smaller male considered himself lucky that all his favorite places have piano somewhere. The hospice places the string instrument in the largest room next to the lounge area - serve for entertainment purposes. He buys one for his house and his grandfather gifts him another one for the penthouse present. Even, his aunt's house in Paris owns one.

       Whether he plays the instrument or not, the lingering feeling of brushing gently on the ivory surfaces somehow makes his nerve calm. The musical instrument accompanies him since he's young and the one that allows him to express anything without demanding what he should do to face the world, to survive all the harshness being thrown at him. The instrument always listens to him.

       The smaller male just stare at the instrument; sitting by the piano with both hands in his sides. He feels tired with whatever happens around him lately. Constantly, he doubts himself if his decision to come back to Seoul is the right one.

       "Want me to play for you?"

       Tears b in his eyes when he faces Eunhyuk at the door, standing who knows for how long - small smile on the younger's face, "It's a pleasure." Voice cracking but the elder doesn't let it affects him, though it is obvious to him, the smaller is on the verge of breaking down.

       Once he sits beside the younger, Eunhyuk's fingers gracefully dances over the keys. Pulling each one to life, the elder lets the sound resonates all around the room. The elder wasn't very keen in playing the musical instrument but he knows how to press the key naturally, emphasizing certain notes more than the others to make a slight difference.

       The elder then feels the need to refrain from continuing the piece when he realizes; in the midst of the intense playing, lost in the beautiful rhythm that the smaller male beside him is shaking uncontrollably. But, the younger senses this - he touches the elder on the thigh, squeezes it lightly, painfully whimpers, "Don't...stop, please."

       The note filling the room once more, only this time, the lilting melodies' are mirroring the emotions that inflicted on both males. Eunhyuk forces the tips of his fingers on the black and white keys, though those keys are getting blurry in front of his eyes. The hand on his lap is getting tighten each second, tears fall before the elder can stop them. Overwhelming with the streaming tears on his cheek, the elder flings his arm around the smaller frame - abruptly ends the piece of beautiful melody. The younger uses this as a leverage to weep bitter tears within him as he clenches the back of the elder.

       Eunhyuk's heart is like it is being twisted and stomped on when he watches the broken male cries a river. Unconsciously, with hushed tone he says, "You're making me cry, Ryeowook."

       Staying put on the chair, he slides his right hand up and down against the back of the smaller frame. His hot boiling tears freeze once he knows what he feels right now is nothing compared to the latter. He feels that occasionally, the tears gather themselves in his eyes but none is falling. He isn't quite sure why he doesn't cry like he always does every time something tugs on his heart strings. Maybe, it is a self-defense, so that he can pacify the younger later or perhaps he is just scared that he will worn-out from crying too much, leaving him no energy to soothe the smaller male.

       Eunhyuk pats the smaller on his brown curly, messy hair gently, entangling his slender fingers on the lock. The younger male is sniffling lightly and lays his head heavily on the Eunhyuk's warm chest. "Don't fall asleep on me, Ryeowook." His voice is soft but a slight tone of warning is apparent as the elder wants the latter knows that the smaller shouldn't try to avoid discussing the pronounced circumstance he is trapped in.

       Pulling back to hold the younger male in the shoulder lightly, Eunhyuk stares at the puffy eyes. "Feeling better now? Do you want a glass of water?" Softly speaks, Eunhyuk gently wipes the trail of tears on the smaller face, eyes softening. The smaller closes his eyes momentarily, shaking his head side by side. Hugging the other male briefly, Ryeowook lets the warmth spread within him before releasing himself away and standing up, attempt to walk to the door.

       And Eunhyuk stops the smaller by grabbing the wrist firmly. "No, you're not going anywhere." Standing in front of Ryeowook, the stern look from the elder softens, "I bring a glass of water. Stay here."

       Sighing, Ryeowook settles down on the floor, leaning against the wall with his eyes close. He then opens them upon hearing the footsteps along the corridor, waiting for the elder to come cornering him with a glass of water.

       "Are you okay?" Handing the glass, Eunhyuk asks out of concern.

       Nodding in approval, the younger male takes the glass and holds it firmly with his both hands - busying his hands so he doesn't feel so nervous about the whole heart-to-heart talk thing.

       Speaking softly, so that only the elder and the smaller male can hear, "Donghae and Ryeohyun are waiting outside. You want them to come in?"

       Again, Ryeowook chooses the previous action to speak for him.

       "Ryeowook wants you guys to come in." Eunhyuk delivers the message out loud, eyes still on Ryeowook.

       Ryeohyun then settles beside his father while Donghae who brings some throw pillows from the couch downstairs, sits across Ryeowook, beside Eunhyuk.

       The elder of the males grumbles, "Is this some kind of pillow talk to you?"

       "It is." Stating like it is a fact; Donghae offers one of the throw pillows to the smaller male only to be received by his little girl as the smaller male doesn't loosen the grip on the glass. Smile apologetically to the girl, the composer retreats his hand and rubs his back of the neck.

       Although Eunhyuk knows that sometimes silence is golden but right now, he thinks the suffocated stillness nearly chokes him to death. Just before he can actually voice out his concern, the little girl beats him."Ryeowook...- " Taking a side glance, he watches the father and daughter speaks in a whisper while the girl relaxing the grip of her father on the glass and putting it aside.

       She then sits on her father's lap, and rests her hands on the father's shoulder. It's really soft, but Eunhyuk can hear them just fine. "I love you, Daddy." The little girl kisses her father on the cheeks before hugging him briefly. Soon after, Eunhyuk's eyes follow the retreating figure of the girl pacing out from the room. Tilting his head to Donghae, the executive looks back at Ryeowook.

       "Alright, I'll come straight to the point." Eunhyuk fixes his gaze on the smaller male. "I don't want to force you to tell me, tell us about... - look Ryeowook; I know this is hard for you. Please, this will get better if you tell us what happen. I know you're tired, very, very tired, among all of us. But don't you think we might feel the same? We're getting tired just by looking at you, crying yourself over and over again. Just tell us what's been bothering you."

       Keeping his head down, the smaller male reaches for the glass on his side - blinking the tears; Ryeowook softly answers, "If I tell you, will it makes you feel better, will it makes everyone feels better?" Raising his head to meet the elder's gaze, "Does it'll make me feel better?"

       Fazed Donghae turns the smaller by the shoulder, "This is not about us or anyone else. It's about you, the first and foremost. Yes, this will make you feel better. Forget everyone else, they're not even here. And yes, it will make us feel better if you tell us what's been on your mind."

       Slumping down the shoulder slightly, Ryeowook intentionally loosens the composer's grip. "I thought I'd strong enough to face him. That's why I came here in the first place. But it turns out that I'm not really ready to face all of that." Retreating back against the wall, he puts the glass back on the floor. "And I make the others sad because of this; I make you guys sad because of this."

       "How do you know that the others are sad because of this?" Eunhyuk mulls over the statement.

       It's written all over their eyes. "It's written all over their face. Do you really have any idea... - this is not what I want. I'm not coming back to Korea so that I can hurt you guys even more. What make you think I flew to Paris in the first place?"

       This is new to both males. Neither of them knows the exact reason why the smaller decided to stay in Paris years ago - the smaller didn't reasons himself out for them. Though, the only subtle hint at that time was Kyuhyun is being left behind without having any idea where the smaller is.

       "It was because of them? I thought you flew because of Kyuhyun?" Putting the pieces, Donghae tries.

       "I'm trying to make it fair but I can't. I can't make it fair enough for everyone else." Ignoring the last question completely; Ryeowook states softly, "And I don't think I can make it fair when I think of someone else all along."

       The elder has this bewildered look across the face, "Do you... Does that mean you love him, Ryeowook? Why? He broke your heart. Don't you think you deserve someone else?"

       Irritated Ryeowook fumes at the slight accused tone the other male implies on him. He promptly answers, "You think I don't know that? Maybe you're right, I deserve someone else." It takes the smaller a few moments before switching himself back to the soft side. Drawing a heavy sigh, the smaller utters weakly, "But you know what, I don't really know what I should think of, right now."

       Eunhyuk, sees the smaller shoulders sink lower, attentively inquires, "Does it scared you that you always bumping into Kyuhyun lately?"

       "A little," Smiles warily to no one particular, the smaller male closes his eyes momentarily.

       Deep silence crawls in after. As if trying to make sense on what has been going in Ryeowook's thick skull but nothing seem to fit the big picture. "Is that really all? I get the feeling that you're not telling me the whole story? Why is that?"

       Donghae blinks, eyeing back and forth between the elder and the smaller male. "The whole story?"

       "He's crying earlier, Hae. He cries like the whole moving thing is wrong. There must be something else that makes him feel that way. Something that we don't know, not even his daughter." Turning from Donghae, the elder steadily fixated his gaze towards the smaller male, "And somehow, I can't really grasp the idea that you love Kyuhyun. How is it possible? It's been eight years now, Ryeowook! You think I believe you when you said you love Kyuhyun all along?"

       Unwavering, Ryeowook flutters his eyes open and stares back with the same intensity; finding doubt lingers around the other's orb. "I'm sorry if I don't make you feel better after what I've told you. Guess what, I do feel better. Thanks hyung," Whispering the last part with a low voice. "I've nothing else to say." Ryeowook's up on his feet and dashes out with determined steps.

       For once, both let the silence do the talking. Though, it may not resolve anything, at least this time the complete absence of talking didn't set them unsettled. Perhaps they'd really offend the younger male or it is him all along. Breathing out a heavy sigh, Eunhyuk shuts close his eyes.

       Stepping into the piano room, Ryeohyun sits on the piano chair. She has been waiting at her room, which is next to the piano room. And when she catches Ryeowook's silhouette walking pass her room, she knows the talk doesn't end very well. Tentatively, she breaks the slight gloomy ambience, "Maybe, Daddy doesn't want to tell anything yet." Shrugging, she continues. "I know him too well."

       Though he is surprised at the sudden soft voice, he doesn't really give it a thought what the girl has been saying. Through his half-lidded eyes, Eunhyuk responds, "If you know him too well, shouldn't you know what he's been hiding behind our back?"

       "Apparently, he hides it too well," she retorts.

       Donghae whines, flailing his hand to his side. "That's not an answer." Rolling his eyes, Eunhyuk bents his body forward in frustration; drops his head on the throw pillow in front of him - holding the scream in.

       Irritated, Ryeohyun has to bite his inside cheek before calmly ends the unsuccessful 'pillow talk'. She's speaking with a thoughtful look on her features, "He will tell me personally if he thinks it is the right time for me to know. The same thing applies to both of you, don't you think?"

       "I guess it is. Ryeowook is such a stubborn kid, sometimes."

       Refuse to acknowledge the rather hurtful remark; the girl speaks firmly, "If you want to spend your night here, sleep in the guest room." Ryeohyun then picks the filled-glass of water that left untouched on the floor before standing up.

       Remembering there is only one guest room in the house, Eunhyuk doesn't have any option. Except he is willing to walk to the penthouse in the midnight, which he doesn't think he has any strength left after arguing with the smaller male. "I have to share with this man?" 

       Ignoring, Ryeohyun then steps out from the room and heads to Ryeowook's bedroom.

       "You're lucky this is Ryeowook's home you've been spending your night. And I'm kind enough to share the bed with you," The composer mutters annoyingly. "Don't argue with me. I'm tired." Leaving the elder male, Donghae storms out from the piano room; fuming with the pesky friend of his.

       With a sharp, gentle knock; she raps at the bedroom's door before open it slightly, left it ajar.

       "Want warm milk?"

       Cocooning himself, Ryeowook tugs the warm blanket higher only to raise his head towards the door a moment later. Smile framing his face - as saying that he would love it if she can bring the warm milk over.

Of course, the little girl of Ryeowook familiarizes with the subtle action of his father. They live by themselves all this years; practically, they know each other like the back of their hand.

       Finishing the warm milk, he puts the glass on the bedside table. Ryeowook shifts a little on the mattress, giving a space for his daughter to lie down beside him. Once Ryeohyun settles comfortably next to him; the male moves closer to the girl. Sneaking his left hand along the girl's backside, he plays with the blonde straight hair absently. Ryeohyun positions herself near Ryeowook's chest - listening to the calm breathing before she pulls back slightly, stares at her father's face.

       "They stay overnight at the guestroom. Clearly, they have to share the bed." Ryeohyun states without expecting any reaction from the male. Snuggling closer to Ryeowook; she muffles her words through the layer of fabrics, "It's okay. I'm right here. I'll stay by your side. So, don't worry."

       Dimming the light at the nightstand, Ryeowook closes his eyes while pulling the girl even closer to him.

       "Goodnight, Daddy. I love you."

       At some point where she barely can open her eyes, she somehow managed to strain his other sense, hearing the whisper, "Thanks sweetheart. I love you, too."

       Expecting the little girl is already in a deep slumber, he surprised when he feels the sign over his upper chest; saying - You are welcome.



       Donghae send a text messages to Siwon before slipping into the right side of the bed. In a matter of seconds, he is already in the dreamland of the night.


       From: Donghae
       To: Siwon

       I spend my night at Ryeowook's. Just so you know.


       Keeping the distance between the male beside him, Eunhyuk can't stop thinking about Ryeowook's word. He finds those words haunting him in the sleep thus, opting to stay wide awake. Until it is in the wee hours, he finally passes out due to the exhaustion.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

# Wedding Day To-do list

1. Engagement Ring: Changmin's

2. Venue - Wedding: Lilium Hall + Grand Ballroom
              - Reception: Ryeowook's Summer House

3. Cake: To be confirmed

4. Honeymoon: Europe - To be confirmed

5. Dress - Wedding & Reception: Ryeowook's - To be confirmed, Tomorrow's Evening
    Suits - Wedding & Reception: Sponsored

6. Invitation - Wedding: Approximated 1500 guests
                  - Reception: Approximated 125++ guests

A/N: Sorry for making you guys waiting. The following week after my last update, something comes up and I coudn't do anything with it except to deal with it. And it takes so many weeks for it, I'm really sorry. Enjoy reading :)