“Here goes... my old story.”

Minho and I met when we were four in a bleak wintry morning. He was a lonely boy back then and I was... just me. I watched through my window as he played joyfully in the snow in front of our house. I was jealous. Why did a kid like him get to play in the snow while I’m there, stuck in my room with no one to play with. I got my chance when my father left for America with my brothers. I snuck my way outside the house every morning, waiting for the boy to come, and he did, eventually.

“Hi, I’m Min Hee, you are...?” I said, holding my hand in front of him, trying to shake his hand.

“I’m Minh—you can just call me MH.” He shook it smiled at me excitedly.

“Do you want to play?” I asked and he nodded his head like it’s the first time someone asked him this.

“Sure. Do you want to be friends?” He said, still smiling at me.

“F-Friends?  Uhm...sure.” I hesitantly agreed; thinking of what father might do if ever he finds out.

Four weeks passed and we already developed a friendship, a strong one I might add. We instantly became friends because of one reason, and that is...our similarities. Both of us were left by our moms, we had the same tastes in food, we wouldn’t drink hot choco instead, we would drink iced choco, we both loved winter, we were both friendless until we met each other, and we would watch movies everyday in his house—secretly—which happened to be beside our house.

One day, when winter was almost over, we both made a promise that we will see each other the day after when the sun rises in the morning so that we can watch it together but I never got to fulfil it because my of my father. My father found out about my “escape” and my new found friend and he instantly flew back from America and well...you could probably guess what happened next. He brought me with him in the states and locked me up once again, never letting me see the sun rise or set. I never got to see Minho again.

When I turned five, I started to wonder why I was treated differently from my brothers. Is it just because I’m a girl and they are boys? Is it because father does not know how to show his love for me? Or is it because father just wants me to become stronger and not act like a spoiled brat and a cry-baby?

“Jonghyun oppa.” My five year old self asked, stifling my sobs.

“Why are you crying Minnie?” He looked worried. He brushed my hair, trying to comfort me.

“Why is dad always angry at me?”

“Uhm...it’s because...he...dad cares for you. Right. He just doesn’t know how to show his love properly.” He said, a bit unsure of his answer.

Well, the true answer to that is none of the above. I never knew why he treated me differently but I just tried to reason and understand him. I still loved my father even if I feel that he doesn’t. When I make a mistake, father always scolds me but he does the opposite to my brothers when they make a mistake—bigger than mine.

“Min Hee! What have you done you little brat.” I jumped from the sharpness of his voice. I could still picture his face twitching in anger.

“I’m sorry, daddy.” My clammy hands were knitted tightly together, my eyes down casted.

“Get lost kid. Go to your room and never show me your face until I say so.” His voice thundered like shattered glass.

“Dad, stop it. It’s not entirely her fault.” Key oppa defended me but Jonghyun oppa just stood there without knowing what to do.

“It’s not your fault, it’s all her fault and don’t try to cover up for her.”

“But—”

“Enough. Do something else and don’t talk to this brat.”

“Well, are you waiting for kid? Go to your room!” His voice boomed throughout the entire room, making me stumble to my feet and rush toward the door.

He punishes me by locking me inside my room without letting me have dinner, as if being locked inside the house with no one to talk to except my brothers wasn’t enough. I always cried, wanting my father to comfort me but he did the opposite. He just ignores me and never bothers to pat me in the back and make me feel better. Thankfully, he wasn’t violent or else, I might not have survived that house.

Is a normal family like this? I thought to myself when I was eight. We went back here when I turned twelve but nothing changed, I was still treated differently. The thought of MH also bugged me and I decided to find him when I escape but I never did. When I was thirteen, I tried to rebel by making Key Oppa help me escape.

“Key Oppa. Help me escape. You’re a pro at doing that right? You were never caught by father.”

“Why would you want to do that Minnie Min Hee? You don’t know what might happen if father caught us.” He always called me that since I was five because I was so short that time.

“Aish. I’ve done this before and you know what happened. Just help me.” It’s true that he’ll never get in trouble. It’s always like that so I don’t know why he’s so against in helping me escape.

“Fine.” He finally agreed.

I only ended up locked inside my room, sobbing. At fifteen, films and dramas caught my attention once again like when MH and I watched movies in his house. It was the only entertainment that provides an escape from reality. When I watch TV shows, movies, dramas, I tend to forget everything until the show ends and I turn back to reality. When I was sixteen, I expected father to give me a sweet sixteen birthday party just like in some shows I’ve watched but, I was only disappointed.

“Happy Birthday Minnie!” Jonghyun and Key oppa entered my room and popped party poppers, scattering it all over the mahogany floor.

“Happy Birthday Minnie Min Hee!” Both of them greeted but it didn’t place a smile on my face.

“At least you greeted me, not like father who didn’t even bother to come here in my room.” I sulked.

“Don’t be sad, were here.” Jonghyun oppa went to my side and comforted me, like always.

One summer day, father finally introduced me to someone.

“Min Hee, this is Onew.” So what? I fought the urge to say that or I might end up getting slapped hard and locked inside my room. I looked at the boy looking at his feet, wearing worn out jeans, simple shirt and carrying a bag probably filled with his clothes. He doesn’t look rich to me. Why would father bring a kid here? Does he expect me to befriend him?

“That’s all I want to tell you, you can leave now.” Father turned his back and faced the gigantic window—where you can see the garden outside—in his study room. Wow. He doesn’t even ask me how I feel or how my day went. Not like father’s I see in the television. .

“Sure, whatever.”  I shrugged and went out of the room, making my way to the living room and watched TV.

Onew turned out to be one of his business partners’ illegitimate child. I didn’t know what father was thinking back then but if he expected me to befriend that you, he’ll just be disappointed. I was angry at everything back then. It was the time that I realized that father didn’t really love me. I poured all of my anger toward Onew and made his life more miserable that it already was. I made him do everything just like what a maid will do. I admit that he was a bit like me. Hated by his father, lonely and trapped in this house. I saw myself in him and I hated it. The last time I saw someone similar to me, everything went bad. I thought of him as a lame bastard and I never failed to show him that, to make him feel that he’s just a useless person that his father threw like trash.

“Hey bastard.” I saw Onew walking down the stairs, his eyes were down casted and his bag in his hands.

“I- yes?” He lifted his head abruptly and faced me. I saw the look in his eyes; he wasn’t scared or frightened of what I might make him do.

“Hand me my bag.” I pointed at my bag just lying on the couch across me.

“You should call me Miss Min Hee, just like how a servant does it. Get it? I know you’re older than me but it doesn’t really matter, not when you’re in my house.”

“Yes...Miss Min Hee.” Hesitantly at first but he got used to it after several months. Every time I’m with him, bossing him around, insulting him, he never, even once, showed me that he was weak or frightened of me which made me treat him harsher.

Father took him in because Onew’s father was in great debt to him. Onew was, back then, very... much