LOVE IN THE ICE

The audience for their anniversary showcase was smaller than their regular crowds at concerts; tickets had been sold in limited quantities to keep the atmosphere of the event more intimate for the fans, though Jaejoong had to assume there were some rather put out Cassies somewhere out there who hadn't managed to get into the event. He smiled gratefully out into them when they stepped onstage, being sure to glance specially to the area where members of their family were seated. Yunho's parents' eyes followed their son, still a bit warily as if they weren't fully sure if they had forgiven him for not, or if there was even anything tangible to forgive. Jaejoong looked across Changmin at Yunho. Like Jaejoong, makeup covered up whatever signs of tiredness that had been there before, but to Jaejoong's eyes, he still didn't look all the way back to himself. We should have talked, Jaejoong thought guiltily. They'd been rushed onstage and couldn't do more than exchange brief glances with each other before being guided to the stairs leading up onto the platform. Jaejoong wished there was something small he could do to reassure him, but the moment had passed too quickly, and already they were under the bright stage lights, waving to their screaming fans.

Still, Yunho brightened his expression for the sake of their audience and lifted his microphone to his lips. “So many of you,” he said appreciatively. “We've been together for three years now, haven't we? Were they a happy three years?”

“Yes!” the audience called back, waving their lightsticks.

“They were happy for us, too. The happiest we've ever been. There were difficult times, too, but because we had you and had each other, we wouldn't change them for anything. This is your anniversary, too, Cassiopeia! We could have never reached this far without you.” He glanced down at Junsu. “Think we should try for four years with them?”

“We can handle five, can't we?”

“Six doesn't sound too impossible,” Yoochun said, placing his hands on his hips.

“Wouldn't it be luckier if it was seven?” Changmin asked with a shrug.

All four of them looked at Jaejoong, who shook his head. “We're going to have every year with Cassiopeia from here on out.” The audience screamed, and he took a bow for their benefit.

“I won't be the one dragging you out of the nursing home, hyung,” Changmin said, wrinkling his nose. “Our fans will just have to come visit us.”

“And who wouldn't pay for the privilege of watching Yunho hyung throw out his back by attempting to dance Rising Sun when he's 80?” Junsu asked, laughing.

“Well, no matter how many years we spend with Cassiopeia, I can at least promise that they'll be special ones,” Yunho said, glaring at Junsu. “And that we'll do our best to become better and better. Does everyone remember our debut stage?” The audience screamed in affirmation. “How many of you were there?”

A smattering of hands went up, fairly close to the number of the people who'd stood in front of them on that day three years ago. The members bowed appreciatively to the very first of their fanbase, who'd been with them from the beginning.

“Does everyone remember the song we sang together?” Yunho yelled again.

“Hug!” everyone yelled back. The first song on their set-list.

“Yes, a very important song for all of us. Our Jaejoongie wrote it during our pre-debut period, after, um...” Yunho trailed off, his face breaking into a sheepish grin. Yoochun burst out into a huge guffaw, and Jaejoong had to hide his face with how much it was flushing. Oh, god. Our first time together. You don't have to accidentally let that slip in front of the fans. Still, it made him smile to remember. It had taken that unrestrained moment of passion for the purity of his feelings to come out into words after all the time he'd spent agonizing over it. He remembered Yunho reading over his shoulder, their bare and sweaty skin brushing against each other as he wrote. The snow falling outside, the bedsheets tangled haphazardly around them, the satisfied look in Yunho's eyes when he looked at him.

“What?” Junsu asked obliviously. “What are you laughing about?”

“Nothing,” Yoochun said, trying to recover. “Hyung... he gets inspired by the most interesting things. Plus, remember when Changmin ah kissed the kitten?”

Changmin groaned. “Let's all just forget about that, all right?”

“Eh?” the fans said, either doubting Changmin's dismissal of his cuter days, or wondering why the subject had shifted from their apparently inside joke.

“Do you want to hear Hug again?” Yunho asked, distracting them further. “Let's take a trip back to the very beginning, together.”

Jaejoong smiled as the first few notes of Hug started playing. If just for one day, I would like to be the bed in your room... How long had it taken him just to complete that simple thought in the song? After having spent time in various beds of Yunho's-- his bed at Auntie Minjung's, in all of their dorms in Korea and Japan, and even his childhood bed-- he thought he understood what he'd been trying to say better than he had back then. There was only so much of someone else's life you could share. You wouldn't know them from the moment you were born, and even if you spent endless amounts of time together, you couldn't read every single piece of their heart or mind. He and Yunho had spent a handful of years together, but it was still so easy for them to misunderstand each other at times. It didn't worry him as much as it used to. It just meant there was more left inside the person he loved to find, and more inside of himself. He wanted to worm his way inside of every single part of Yunho, to know all there was to know. If he was the bed in Yunho's room, wouldn't it be wonderful just to simply envelope him, to hold in his prayers and tears and smiles without the need to demand anything from him?

Yunho glanced over at him as he sang, receiving his smile with wide eyes. They hadn't talked properly in person since Yunho had dropped him off at the dorm, and he probably thought Jaejoong was still angry with him. He didn't know about Jaejoong speaking to his parents, or Jaejoong knowing that he'd spent the past days pleading his case to them. Perhaps Jaejoong should have still been more angry than he was since Yunho had bullheadedly sought to fix things on his own, but he'd made the same mistakes himself, once. Right now, he was simply at peace singing the words to the songs he had written thinking of him, recalling the old memories and having the faith that there would only be new memories to make them stronger. We were both willing to fight for what we wanted. That's enough for now. Yunho smiled tentatively back. There were probably cameras snapping the moment, but it wasn't anything the fans hadn't seen before.

The screams were wild when they finished. “Did you like that?” Yoochun called out. “Did we do better than the first time?”

“If your eyes and nose aren't running from you bawling your eyes out, we're already doing better, hyung,” Changmin said, grinning.

“It was my first time meeting our beautiful fans. Of course I was emotional!” He waved out into the audience. “That was our first year together, and it was so amazing for all five of us. You've always shared your happiest moments with us, so we should share more of ours together with you. Yunho hyung, what were your favorite memories from our debut year?”

“Our debut year?” He pursed his lips. “Mmmm, there was one time at a fansign where a fan had tried to make me rice cakes, but burned them right before she left for the meeting. She was so upset that she hid her face and cried when I signed her CD. Jaejoongie was next in line, and he asked her what was wrong. Even though we barely had any time at all, he scribbled down a recipe he said was guaranteed never to fail and gave it to her. Next time I saw her, she made me one of the best meals I'd ever had. Seeing her smiling made me so happy, and I thought that being the kind of person worthy of her making such efforts was a very special thing.”

“Don't I come across as the hero of that story?” Jaejoong asked, smiling.

“Aren't you the hero of every story?”

“Moving on,” Junsu said. “My favorite moment was reading your comments after the TRI-ANGLE video came out. I had the one asking how many TV channels Changmin ah could pick up with his hair printed out on my wall for awhile.”

“He took it down after I put up the one asking how he managed to steal one of Cher's wigs without getting caught,” Changmin added.

“It was a happy time for all of us, wasn't it?” Yoochun asked, laughing. “And then there was Rising Sun...”

The five of them paused. Not such a happy time. “I feel like there were so many things we could have done better,” Jaejoong said carefully. “There were times when we showed our fans an unhappy time, weren't there?”

“No, not you!” he heard people calling out from the audience. “It wasn't you!”

But it was, he thought. Not all of it, but parts of it. I made mistakes, too.

“It was okay, though,” Yunho said gently. “There's nothing that was hurt that couldn't be fixed, as long as we were together. I was the one... I was the one who took a longer road in learning that. When the people you love are hurting, you stay at their side, or take them along with you. That's what a leader should do, right?”

“You're a good leader, Yunho-oppa!” someone yelled. He smiled in gratitude, and shook his head a little.

“There were happy times with Rising Sun, too!” Junsu said, patting Yunho on the back. “You all bought our album, right? We had good sales and won well on shows thanks to all of you.”

“Our first Japanese fans even said they'd found out about us because of all the good things you'd said,” Changmin added.

“I think it was at that time we really figured out how many Cassiopeia we had,” Jaejoong said, smiling again. “Remember our first tour? Just seeing all the red lightsticks out there made us happier than we've ever been.”

“I think that's the best time we ever performed that song,” Yunho said. “Should we do it even better this time?”

Jaejoong hadn't written Rising Sun, which hadn't bothered him considering that he'd had a bad memory or two attached to it courtesy of Dami. Even so, he'd always liked the words and sense of rebellion in it. What was it their MV director had said? Don't forget that these are the poisons of the world! They care for only themselves. And you, the pillar of reason, are suffering from their indifference. Well, Changmin had been that pillar of reason, not him. He'd let himself be overtaken by one of them. Still, it made him smile a little to think of Dami as a poison of the world. She'd almost gotten them both, but they'd survived her. They were surviving this. She hadn't won with a single thing she'd done, in the end.

My kind of love is twisted. It's sick. That's what you said to me. But you were wrong, weren't you? It's lived on this long without killing anything in me. Can you say the same for yourself?

It felt good to sing Rising Sun this way, like he was shedding his skin a little bit and stepping out of the shadow of the memories the song used to give to him. They're just lyrics, at the end of the day, he reminded himself. You're the one who brings the emotions and meaning to them. You're the one who makes it a song, and makes it a painful or beautiful one.

“Now, you're probably think we're going to burst into O or Balloons right about now,” Yoochun said when they'd finished their performance of Rising Sun. “But unfortunately for you, we left our animal costumes in our other car. So we're going to try something else. Have you been listening well to our Japanese albums, too?”

“Yes!”

“We know there are songs you probably prefer to hear in Korean, but this one is very special to us... and it probably won't have a Korean version, because, well, our poor songwriter could only make the lyrics work that way when he wrote them.”

“I was a good Japanese student,” Jaejoong explained. “But not to the point where I would write a song in Japanese if I could make it work in Korean. But for some reason, this one didn't want to flow just right. I tried it in English, too.” He closed his eyes and sang. “My bed, I sit, I think, can see I you, please?”

“Too bad that doesn't mean much of anything,” Yoochun said in a sing-song voice. “Anyways, I don't know if we've told the fans this yet, but this was one of the songs I auditioned with, so we've known it for awhile. In fact, after working in the market, we used to go over to Yunho hyung's house and sing this together. Yunho would play the acoustic guitar, and Jaejoong hyung would cook us dinner... mmm, I miss it sometimes.”

“I always wondered,” Yunho asked, “why you picked that song for all five of us to sing, and not the others?”

Jaejoong tilted his head. It wasn't that it was less personal. In fact, it was incredibly personal to him, and incredibly raw. But it wasn't as real as the emotions of Mine, Still in Love, All Alone, and all the others had been. He'd been projecting abandonment into his future, and probably a part of him wanted that to be wrong. It was easier for him to share those emotions, because he hadn't even owned them completely back then.

“Mmm,” he said instead. “I think because a lonely song like that sounds less lonely when there are more people than just you singing it.”

“Isn't it good then that we always sing it together?” Junsu said, patting his arm.

“I know some of you may not understand the words or remember what they mean,” Jaejoong said. “But please... listen to it with your heart. I don't think I was right about everything I was thinking when I wrote it. If you're lucky enough to fall in love in spite of everything, that doesn't necessarily mean your luck will run out and that person will leave you. If you fall in love with the right person, they'll stay. They'll definitely stay.” He smiled. “But even thinking that way, I still made it to this point, so that's the message I really don't want forgotten. This is Wasurenaide.”

A stage hand passed Yunho his acoustic guitar, the exact same one he'd played when Jaejoong had first met him. He'd never replaced it or upgraded after all this time, which gave Jaejoong a strangely satisfied feeling. He had all the money in the world to do it with now, but it played well enough, so he kept it the way it was. It made it all the more nostalgic when the five of them began to sing together. We've done this so many times, but it sounds better every time. God bless the day you asked me to open my song lyric book for you, Jung Yunho. Did either of us have any idea of what it would bring to us?

He closed his eyes and let the music seep into soul. The words were still sorrowful, but it really wasn't lonely to sing this way. It was beautiful to hear his heart being sung back to him by five different voices. The lyrics had changed their meaning for him, but that had at least stayed the same.

“For our last song, we have a special surprise for you, but before that, Jaejoong's going to sing you a solo song,” Yunho said. “The rest of us will be stepping out for a moment, so be sure to listen to him for us. It's a song we all really like... one with very important memories attached.”

Jaejoong's eyes followed him as he walked off the stage. “Yes... do you want to hear it?”

There were some cheers of yes, but to his surprise, several loud not yets as well.

“Not yet?” he repeated. “Why not yet? Is there something I need to do first?”

“Tell us!”

“Tell you what?”

“About the song!”

“Oh... I guess we've been doing that for all the songs so far, right?” He smiled awkwardly. “This one is a little different, though. You're sure you want to hear?”

“Yes!”

“Well, then.” He pursed his lips. “This song... is my heart. It comes from a time when I didn't know how to say something I needed to, and this was my only way. I wasn't even going to finish it, but Yu- one of the members asked me to. See, I do listen to them sometimes, don't I?” He laughed lightly. “I think now... I think now that I was very fortunate. That I finished this song, that I was able to sing it, that I'll now be able to share it with you. Our hearts are such crazy, unique things that there's no guarantee if you share it that it will ever be understood. But here I am now, able to stand in front of you and sing, and...” he glanced to where Yunho's family was sitting- “be able to love as freely as I can. I won't take any of it for granted. I may be a disappointing person at times, but the way I felt when I first wrote thing song... it will keep growing, keep becoming stronger, but it won't go away. I hope everyone who listens to this can feel that.”

He took a deep breath as Yunho's violins filled his ears. He hadn't done as well as he'd wanted singing this song in practice, but he felt like he could sing it perfectly now. His feelings had been conflicted before, but after speaking with Yunho's parents and singing their past songs together onstage, it felt like the blinders had been taken away from his heart. I haven't been able to say anything to you properly for the past few days, but I'll make that up right now. You used these words to understand me once, so let them show you one more time.

Jaejoong opened his mouth and began to sing. Born free, sadly, but one kiss, one heart...With a shared breath we share one kiss, I feel it with my eyes closed in this complicated feeling... I'll try and show you a better world

Already, he sounded much better to his ears. He felt everything he was saying, felt the echoes of the first time he'd performed the song and everything that had come after, felt the heart beating in the present that only wanted to be with him in a stronger and more trusting way than he had before. They'd had their painful moments with Dami and his family and living in fear of having the press find out, but there were so many more beautiful moments that he knew it wasn't worth it to be afraid anymore. Every word he sang seemed to soar from his lips, and his heart felt lighter and more free. At the narrowed crossroads, you put wings on me, you showed me the way to get to heaven. Heaven shines on you, shines on you.

He felt the tears crowding his eyes, and didn't resist them. He knew he wasn't sad or in pain anymore, just that there was an odd mixture of happiness, desire, pride, and gratitude flooding his heart that needed to be let out. His voice trembled just a little as he sang, but he held onto every note with all the strength he had, letting the tears fall quietly without losing his way. The audience usually called out or chanted “don't cry” whenever this happened to one of them, but they waited for him patiently, tears in their own eyes. Do you feel it, too? Do you understand how much this is, how much this always was, how much I love him?

When the last notes died, he attempted to hastily rub his eyes. The other four were supposed to come back for their final song, and he didn't want all of this to spill over. He turned around to look over his shoulder as the audience clapped for him, but there was only one person walking out from backstage. Yunho was looking directly at him, a burning look in his eyes. Without meaning to, more tears misted over in Jaejoong's eyes, which he also tried to brush away, but the simple sight of Yunho was enough to force every single one of emotions further out.

Before he knew what was happening, arms had wrapped around him, and he was burying his wet face into Yunho's chest. The fans were definitely calling things out now, but everything faded from his ears other than the soft I love you whispered into them. The part of him that should have protested that everyone could see them sank far away, and he simply gave himself over to the place where he felt happiest and safest.

“You all love our Jaejoongie, right?” Yunho asked the audience, probably realizing that he needed to say something to keep his presence there without the other members from standing out more than it already did. He waited for the reciprocal screams to die down. “So do all of us. We... DBSK... had a stressful time recently, and I don't think there's any of us who feels these things more than Jaejoongie. I'm sorry that I couldn't be a better leader and carry more of this for him. I-” Jaejoong heard him take a deep breath. “I'm happy he can keep singing those words as sincerely as he has. So don't cry anymore, Jaejoongie. I swear I--”

He was cut off by the other members finally making it onstage and joining their hug, though it was a little too late to keep it from looking like more than a leader comforting a tearful dongsaeng. Yunho was pressed closer to him, and Jaejoong lifted his chin a little to look at him. There were tears in his own eyes now. Thank you, Jaejoong mouthed, and Yunho gently pressed a finger against his lips and shook his head.

“Go backstage and clean up,” Junsu hissed under his breath as the audience continued calling out to them, telling them not to cry, crying for Yunjae, and screaming hwaiting to DBSK. “Your nose is running. We'll distract them with a skit or something for a few minutes.”

Yunho grabbed Jaejoong's arm and pulled him backstage with him, ignoring all the coordinators and stylists confused by the disruptive turn of events. One of the stylists tried to pull Jaejoong away to take care of his face, but Yunho simply took the makeup from her hands, bowed politely, and pushed Jaejoong into the bathroom with him.

It was a wide room, complete with a vanity mirror and small couch, which Yunho eased Jaejoong into before kneeling down in front of him. He used a tissue to brush away some of his tears, then reached to hold his hands and steady them.

“I'm sorry,” Yunho said, quietly. “I should have done everything I could to talk to you before this, I-”

Jaejoong shook his head. “No. It's not that. Well, maybe you should have, but it doesn't matter. I'm fine. Actually, I'm better than fine. I'm so happy right now, like you wouldn't even believe.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“People can cry when they're happy, too.” He squeezed Yunho's hands. “I talked to your parents before going onstage. They gave me the same answer they said they gave to you. Thanks for arguing on my behalf, by the way. You should have done it with me, but I'll look past it just this once.”

“You talked to them?” Yunho's expression sharpened. “Wait, if you talked to them and they gave you the same answer they gave me, why are you so happy? What's so great about do what you want, but we're not happy with it?”

“Because it's good enough. Your feelings didn't change, did they?”

“I'd really hate myself if I stopped loving you for such a reason. Of course they haven't changed.” He traced Jaejoong's fingers. “Look, of course I love kids, and it would be nice to have them. But if I became a father, I'd want to be with them at every second, not someone who's always gone touring or spends half the year in Japan. And to me, being a part of DBSK is more important. And being in love with you is a thousand times more important. I look at the four of you as my family, and as long as you're a part of that, I'm not going to worry about missing out on what else I could have potentially had. You are everything.” He paused. “Did your feelings change?”

Jaejoong shook his head. “Not even for a second. That's what makes me happy. I worried before that being found out and rejected like this would be a breaking point for us. I didn't want to accept being a point of contention between you and your family, but... I didn't waver. And you didn't betray me. I love you as much as I always have. I love you more. Didn't you listen to me singing?”

Yunho nodded, holding Jaejoong tenderly in his eyes. “You sang my heart all over again, baby.”

“And wouldn't it be better to just give into it and feel that way forever rather than worry about the pointless things that other people think?”

“”Sounds like a plan to me.” Yunho smiled and pressed against Jaejoong's knees, leveraging himself up for a kiss. Their faces were still wet from tears and sweat, but Jaejoong didn't mind the slick feel of it, or the fact that the simple beauty of it almost made him want to cry all over again. The single touch filled him with a thousand reassurances that this really was a love that wouldn't leave him, a love stronger than every other presence in his life.

Yunho broke off the kiss, and pressed his lips against some of the residual tears on Jaejoong's cheek. “They're probably running out of things to do onstage,” he said with a light laugh. “I should clean up your face.”

“Weren't you just doing that?”

“With makeup this time.” Inexpertly, he used the makeup to cover up the splotchy areas of Jaejoong's face. “It will have to do. Are you ready to face them?”

“I don't even want to think what they'll say about my little episode later.”

“Ah.” Yunho looked momentarily guilty. “Well, let's just prepare for some lectures from the members and Hyungsoo nim later, all right? I'll defend you.”

“And I'll defend you.”

Changmin, Junsu, and Yoochun looked a bit frazzled when Jaejoong and Yunho finally made it back out onstage, and their relief to see them was clearly visible. “Well,” Junsu said in the high pitch voice he used whenever he was stressed, “now that we've introduced our last song several times already, I guess we can finally sing it.”

“I'll try not to get overly emotional this time,” Jaejoong said lightly, trying to play off what had just happened. The fans didn't seem to buy it, so he could only hope he hadn't emerged with some sort of freshly kissed look they were able to pick up on.

The last song they had chosen was one they had only performed in practice so far, one they were anticipating for their fourth album off in the future. Hi Stan had sent it to them back when they were in Japan, and though most of the lyrics had already been written for it, there were several parts of the song left blank when it had made their way to them. I'm counting on all of you to make this complete, he'd written. It's an emotional song, so make it speak to yourselves and your fans.

They'd all written a small piece of it together, and though they'd only practiced it a handful of times, there was something magical about the way it sounded, even in its early stages. It called upon all their skill points and their emotions all at once, and gave them a chance to shine as individuals and as a group when they came together for the chorus and for the duo parts sprinkled throughout the verses. Still, Jaejoong liked it for the lyrics the best. Love through pain, in spite of pain, was the kind of love he understood best. He didn't fancy himself as having suffered more than most people in the world, but he at least knew that his love had gone through similar light and darkness, and had come out greater and more enduring than it had been back when he'd been a teenage runaway who'd accidentally stumbled on heaven.

He was the first to sing. Your cold hands, your trembling lips, you bear it as if nothing has happened. And then Changmin, then Yoochun. Are you afraid of remembering someone? Forcing yourself to swallow the words you wish to speak, your retreating view resembles falling snow, melting bit by bit.

Jaejoong could remember being that way. He was thankful every day that his heart, too, had been melted, that he wasn't fully that person anymore. Like stars which don't leave the darkened skies, being together forever by the faith of love, if I could be that person, I'll embrace your hardened heart with eternal warmth. That was all he believed in now. He believed in the heart that had been delivered, the love that had saved him, and, most of all now, that it would always be his to have. He thought of the ring around his neck, the ring around his finger, the bracelet around his wrist. Don't let go of my hand. His three promises, and this in itself felt like another. He looked directly into Yunho's eyes as they sang their lines together. I can't believe how just whispering to you makes me nervous, until we can be together in my world...

He'd said he wouldn't get emotional, but he couldn't help the next few tears that clouded his eyes. I'm so fortunate, he thought as their notes rang in the air and the audience swelled as one to cheer for them. So lucky, so blessed, so happy. Through everything, I'd do it all over again if I could, every triumph and every mistake, if only to arrive at this.

They grabbed each other's hands and bowed one more time, the cheers still filling their ears, and tears falling one by one down their faces.

0o0

Yunho and Jaejoong left as soon they were able after the show. They stayed to listen to the compliments of the stage director for the strength of their performances, as well a hearty scolding from Yongsoo about Jaejoong and Yunho leaving the stage before the final song (“Do you two get some sort of personal satisfaction from fueling rumors about yourselves?”) and a following hearty scolding from Junsu (“Are you even pretending to be subtle anymore?”) and then Yunho's parents when they came to congratulate him on his stage (“Was that necessary?”). They stopped to return their wardrobe and take a bite of the food waiting for them backstage, but as soon as they were given the green light, they took Yunho's car back to the dorm, leaving everyone else behind. “I'll keep everyone out to dinner really late,” Yoochun said with a wink. “Just get it out of your system, you two.”

There was almost too much to get out of their system, but they took it as slowly as they could. Yunho undressed him piece by piece, stopping to kiss every single spot of skin he could find, sometimes still trying to apologize to him for everything he'd done wrong and other times simply saying that he loved him and always would. Jaejoong took in both sentiments, and returned them with his own. He saw himself reflected in Yunho's eyes, deepened and made more beautiful by his love, and he really did believe that person there existed, and that maybe he was worthy of all of it somewhere inside of him.

When they joined together, Yunho leaned in to kiss his lips, but Jaejoong gently pushed him back. “I just want to look at you,” he whispered at his questioning look. “Is that okay?”

Yunho smiled and his face. “It's cheesy.”

“You can't handle cheesy?”

“I can handle everything, as long as it's you.”

With every moment Yunho held him, Jaejoong gazed longingly into his eyes, using them as he window into his soul. Years ago, he would have never guessed he could be looked at so preciously, as if he was both heaven and earth wrapped into one, but feeling so much for someone else made him understand it. You love me as much as I love you. It may be beyond everything I ever hoped or imagined for myself, but I'll make you happy for the rest of your life to always have that love with me.

“I love you, Kim Jaejoong,” Yunho said, pressing their foreheads together and exhaling sharply. “Forever.”

“I love you, Jung Yunho,” Jaejoong replied, wrapping his arms around his back and pulling him closer. “Eternally.”

0o0

When Jaejoong's hips couldn't take any more of their pleasurable torture, the two of them laid up in bed talking. Though it wasn't as if they hadn't been together in a long time, they still chattered on as if it had been years, discussing the future and if there was really anything they could do to be more subtle about their relationship like Junsu wanted, or if the only way was to continue on, hidden in plain sight, particularly after what had happened at their showcase. They talked about Yunho's family, and whether or not there was anything they could do to make them any more resigned to it. They both agreed to tell Auntie Minjung about it formally and were just starting to plan a trip back to his hometown to visit her when they heard the others come in and had to scramble for their clothes, Yunho more successfully than Jaejoong.

There were no major headlines about them the next day, and only a few online news sites brought their incident up at all. Kim Jaejoong debuted an emotional self-written solo track at the event, leading up to the group's finale with upcoming song “Love in the Ice.” Jung Yunho, ever the dedicated leader, was quick on hand to calm Jaejoong's tears before the sweeping closing number wrenched the hearts of both the members and the audience alike. Only the Yunjae sites, as always, had a lot to say on the matter.

“You guys get away with everything,” Junsu grumbled, shutting off his phone. “Dedicated leader, my foot. You just wanted to kiss and make up, hyung.”

“Of course I did,” Yunho said solemnly. “But what did you want me to do? If the person you love is crying in front of your eyes, you don't just sit there.”

“How gallant of you.”

“Just let it go this once,” Jaejoong said, squeezing Junsu's shoulders. “I really needed that right then.”

“So you say, as if you won't do it again next time.”

“Oh, drop it,” Yoochun sighed, wrapping Junsu in a tight hug and flinging him back and forth. “You heard us, we're going to be a DBSK that lasts to infinity. It will take more than a pair of dumb lovebirds to mess that up.”

“Everyone wants to hear our new album, and we've only worked on Love in the Ice so far,” Changmin added, flicking Junsu's forehead. “They're not going to let us go anywhere.”

“We have so many things ahead of us,” Yunho said, looking at Jaejoong and grinning. “We've stuck it out this far, so let's just keep on going. Yunjae couple and all.”

Junsu pretended to grumble, but he linked arms with the four of them. “Aish, you guys, it feels like I've spent every day for four years with you. Why am I still okay with going towards infinity with you?”

“It's your destiny,” Jaejoong said, laughing. “Didn't you know you signed up for a life term?”

“And we take over the world with this next album, you'll be just as happy as the rest of us.” Yoochun ruffled his hair. “So we've got our little break before we start working on it, so let's rest well and come back on fire. DBSK hwaiting!”

“Hwaiting,” they all said automatically. Jaejoong looked at them one by one, his grin growing wider and wider. So fortunate. This is the best, most perfect family I could have asked for, and hell if I'm ever going back to the way I was before. This was the life I wanted. Whatever future lies ahead, I'll gladly find it at the side of all of you.

0o0

A/N: Yay, thanks as always for reading. Now for some somewhat sad news: we only have one more chapter left, coming to you before all the pre-Christmas chaos hits T^T But never fear, there will definitely be more Yunjae coming your way from me soon! Thanks so much for the love and support, and I hope you've enjoyed :D

Everyone is searching for a place
That can heal their sadness and loneliness
So for you, that place is here
Don’t be afraid, don’t hesitate anymore, because I’ll protect you