RISING SUN

“Lock my heart away, destroy the key,” Soorin sang, studying her reflection in the mirror. “Leave me only with memories, a same old story my voice can't speak, a same old story my heart can't face.”

Jaejoong glanced over her. “We'll be filming in a few minutes. You really don't need to warm up now.”

“I know,” she said. “Maybe I just like the sound of my own voice.”

“You're... joking?”

“You're getting better at figuring that out for yourself.” She turned to him and smiled: her lips formed one so much more naturally now. Starkiss's fans had even started to notice the new life in her, which had unfortunately brought back dating rumors between the two of them since they connected her higher spirits to him joining the company, debuting, and working with her. Soorin refuted it for some people by saying that he was her first best friend, but that excuse didn't work with everyone. Jaejoong was nervous about performing with her in the first place since some of his fans didn't like it when women got too close, but Soorin was still the kind of person who let others not liking her roll off her back.

“Thanks for performing with me today,” she continued. “I know it's just a pre-recorded show. But I also know you have your MV filming this afternoon.”

Jaejoong made a face. “Don't remind me. It's actually kind of nice to do something with you before I have to spend the next day or so stuck on set.”

“I heard Sung Dami will be there. Saehee unni knows her. She's quite lovely, isn't she?”

Jaejoong nodded, feeling a bit grudging. What did she want from them? That was the real question. It didn't matter how lovely she was, to him. He just wanted to know where her decision to work with them started from, and if it was as noble-hearted as it seemed.

Soorin reached over and patted his hand. “It won't do you any good to get jealous so early, Jaejoong ah.”

“Who's jealous?” Jaejoong said defensively.

“You love Yunho ah best. You must wonder sometimes if there's possibly anybody who could love him more. Or maybe in your case, better. But whether or not that happens is in your hands.”

He looked at her, not understanding.

“There can't be anyone who loves him more if you love him most. And if there's things you think you can't give him that someone else can, make the things only you can give all the more important to him.”

“Noona,” Jaejoong said firmly, “I'm not jealous of Sung Dami. This whole thing may not even be about Yunho. None of us have even met her yet.”

“That may be. But I remember a certain person who got jealous over me without understanding the situation. And like attracts like.”

“Well, maybe she volunteered to meet me,” Jaejoong grumbled. “I'm on a roll with that ever since Minhee.”

“Minhee?”

“Never mind.”

“Just keep in mind how you felt when Yunho ah felt jealous over me. Didn't you wonder how he could feel that way when you loved only him?”

Jaejoong nodded.

“That kind of feeling might go both ways. That's what I think.”

“I'm not jealous of someone I haven't even met yet,” Jaejoong repeated stubbornly. “But thanks, noona. I'm glad you can talk openly about these things now.”

“I don't have any obstacles in my heart anymore. Thanks to you.”

Starkiss's manager rapped on the door. “They're ready for you up on stage. Are you two good?”

“Yes,” Soorin said. “Shall we?” She held out her hand.

Jaejoong looked down at it. She was still such a tiny person, but he had a feeling that this was her little way of helping him, in return for what he'd done for her. He didn't know if he needed that help or if a part of him was nervous at the thought of meeting someone who could potentially be a rival, but he was grateful for her words nonetheless. It was something a friend would say, and he was proud that she thought of him as one, after all she had gone through.

0o0

They finished their filming ahead of schedule, but the junior manager that had come along with him still rushed him out to make it to the MV set anyways. Jaejoong ate cup ramen during the drive, getting some food in his system while he still could. They had backstage buffet tables at the set as a courtesy most of the time, but they barely allowed for any time for them to actually go back and get anything from it. You had to be quick during the other members' individual shots, and hope that Changmin wasn't the first to get to the buffet with his ceaseless appetite.

When he made it to the set, it was a crowd of cameras as usual, but this time there was a huge crowd of extras for the club scene they would be shooting. Shinwon, Chansik, and Jongwoo had all been asked to join in on that part of the filming as well, to get some early on-set experience for their group. Haejin and Chaozhi had been excluded for looking much too underage for the setting, much to their disappointment.

The rest of s and the trainees hadn't arrived yet, so Jaejoong greeted the extras alone and thanked them for taking the time to be there. The company was good about selecting people who weren't overenthusiastic fans, so they greeted him politely and wished him success for the filming. He didn't see Sung Dami among their numbers, and wondered if she hadn't arrived yet.

The video director quickly came up to greet him. “The other four are not here yet?”

“I came early from another schedule. I'm sure they'll be here soon.”

“I certainly hope so. We have Sung Dami-ssi back in hair and makeup, and she's eager for introductions. I guess you'll have to do.”

“I'll have to do?” Jaejoong echoed.

“One is better than none.”

He was pulled to the building next to the set where they had changing rooms set up for their costumes, as well as a section set up for hair and make up. A young woman with long brunette hair was sitting in a salon chair, flipping through a magazine as a stylist noona waved her straight hair. She didn't notice that they had come into the room at first until she looked up into the mirror to check the stylist's progress and caught Jaejoong's eye. She didn't turn around, but continued gazing at him intently through the mirror. She had a nice face, her features simple but strong. They were part of her charm in films like Winter Lily. She could believably play the girl next door and make you believe that she understood you when she appeared on screen. When she was in character, she didn't feel like an “it” girl or a wealthy actress; she became whoever she was supposed to be, and you forgot that Sung Dami was somewhere in there at all, directing her actions.

“Kim Jaejoong,” she said. “The pretty one.”

He stared at her. Was she speaking sarcastically? Was it a compliment? Like with Soorin, her nuances were hard to pick up. It wasn't because of any lack of inflection, but because she spoke carefully, as if she was already being filmed. It was hard to feel how genuine she was being, or if she was deliberately being actress-y with him for some reason or another.

Remembering his manners, he bowed to her. “Dami-ssi, thank you for coming to our filming. We're all big fans of your films, and we're honored that you would choose to work with us.”

“All of you are?” she asked, tapping her cheek.

“All of us are... big fans? Or honored to work with you?”

“Both.”

“Of course. We were surprised to hear that you volunteered.”

“And you wanted to know why, I'm sure.”

“Inevitably, when someone so popular shows an interest in us.”

“Perhaps it's because I have a feeling you'll be just as popular someday soon.” She finally turned around, forcing the stylist to step aside. “Or maybe I simply wanted to meet the people I'd have to wade through a sea of screaming girls to meet otherwise. Take your pick. My, my, though, you certainly are pretty. Fair skin, dark hair, wide eyes, pretty lips. Someone like you must have been called the enemy of women at least once in your life.”

By Seunghee before she and her boyfriend almost got skewered by Yunho, he thought crossly. He was becoming slowly more certain that she was being sarcastic, though her voice was still giving nothing away.

“Don't take it as a wound against your manly pride,” she said, noting the look on his face. “Just a plain girl admiring someone beautiful, that's all. But enough of that, you seem to have misplaced your members.”

“I came separately from them. I had to record a music show stage with-”

“Park Soorin? She's quite pretty herself, isn't she? You two make quite the attractive couple.”

“We're not a couple.”

“Really? You should consider it. You match quite well, and I doubt a girl like her could do better. You at least seem to have a hold on your senses.”

A girl like her? He felt a surge of anger on Soorin's behalf. Sure she had her head in the clouds and was a challenge to get used to, but what did this Sung Dami know of what she had gone through or how bitterly she had cried after meeting her father? That wasn't the kind of pain you mocked, but he didn't think he'd like her making light of Soorin without knowing her any more than if she did know.

“Aha,” Dami said, smiling. “That scowl says that you like her more than you think. I was only testing you. As an actress, I do like a good love story. Besides, I did notice.” She pointed at the bracelet around his wrist. “I'll confess to being a DBSK fan. I've seen many of your interviews and appearances. Whenever you can, you're always wearing that. A gift from a lover, perhaps? You were also wearing it in the photograph you were snapped in with Park Soorin.”

Before Jaejoong could protest, the door opened behind him, and the other four members walked in. He in his breath. He didn't want her talking to Yunho, or even any of the others. Her way of speaking may have been targeted just for him, but it was leading and he didn't like it. Was she trying to blackmail him with the threat of leaking a relationship to the press? A scandal like that could kill them as a rookie group, but it would have an even more devastating effect on Starkiss. What if she had something against them, and was using Jaejoong as a tool to cause trouble?

Finally, Dami rose to her feet. “Now, here are the handsome ones,” she said, her voice suddenly bright. “I've met your charming lead vocal, and now I'm very happy to meet the rest of you. I am Sung Dami, and I'll be in your care for the filming today.”

“The pleasure is ours,” Yunho said, bowing to her. “We're all very big fans.”

“So I've heard. I'm a fan of yours as well. I simply cannot get enough of playing TRI-ANGLE when I'm going to my filmings, my managers can vouch. And what good looking members. Are you sure this maknae of yours is seventeen?”

Changmin smiled at the flattery. Jaejoong wanted to warn him off, but it finally sounded as if she was speaking sincerely. If he said something, it would be rude to his sunbae, and even Changmin would be annoyed with him over it.

“But you would be the closest in age to me, correct?” she asked Yunho. She lightly touched him on the arm, and Jaejoong fought back the urge to smack her hand away.

“That would be Jaejoong,” Yunho corrected her.

“Really? He has such a young face. I think I'd prefer to stand next to you, since you don't make me look so terribly old. DBSK must be a group of angel faces. It's hard on such a plain girl.”

“You're not plain, Dami-ssi,” Yoochun said, but she outright ignored him, instead bending down to point at the ring on Yunho's finger-- their couple ring. Jaejoong blanched, looking down at his own hand. He didn't wear it in public so people wouldn't figure out that he and Yunho owned the same one, but he just wanted to be sure. Her behavior was so odd, and since he couldn't figure out what she was playing at, he couldn't play it too safe.

“I've seen this before,” she said, looking at the ring. “I have a very good eye for accessories from all the CFs I've done, and as I said to Jaejoong ah earlier, I'm a DBSK fan. This was from the music video you shot with Son Gaeun.” She pouted. “Don't tell me you have a couple ring with her.”

Yunho looked alarmed. “No, not at all. I just... liked the ring?”

“Good. It wouldn't be nice for Gaeun unni to steal a handsome young rookie up just because she has the opportunity. Especially since Starkiss already has hooks into one of you.” She glanced over at Jaejoong and smiled. The other four members followed her gaze, looking confused.

“Pardon me,” the stylist noona said. “But we need to start moving the DBSK boys over to make up now.”

“Oh, yes. Of course. I look forward to seeing how well you'll perform today.” Dami touched Yunho's arm again, and this time the other members seemed to notice. “DBSK hwaiting!”

“Hwaiting!” Jaejoong faked a polite smile, but as soon as Dami was settled back in her chair, he grabbed Changmin's arm and practically dragged him out of the room.

“Any reason why you are attacking me?” Changmin asked, jerking his arm out of Jaejoong's grip.

“Because I'm mad.”

“And you're taking it out on me because...?”

“I don't want to hit a girl or rip my boyfriend's arm off.”

Changmin whacked Jaejoong upside the head. “Just so you know, I retaliate.”

“Thanks for the advanced warning.”

“Jae, wait up!” Yunho jogged to catch up to the two of them. “What was Dami-ssi talking about back there?”

I think she wants to bust me on having a “relationship” with Soorin for no apparent reason, that's all, and then she couldn't take her paws off you, in front of everyone else and the stylist noona no less. But he couldn't say that. He had no proof that Dami had any bad intentions. And he doubted that she had any “proof” that he was in a relationship with Soorin, since there wasn't any. The photos that had been taken of them had been meaningless, and the bracelet was from Yunho, not her. Yunho and Soorin were getting along now, so he didn't want to bring up the subject again and cause their relationship to strain.

“It was nothing,” he said. “She was joking about my duet with Soorin noona before you came in. She was being funny.”

“I don't think she was very funny,” Yoochun grumbled. “If she's going to be so familiar with one of us, she should be familiar with all of us.”

“Is someone jealous that noona likes Yunho more than you?”

“Who knows?” Yoochun said. But he was looking at Jaejoong when he said it.

“She was different than I was expecting,” was all Changmin contributed. There wasn't time to add anything else, since they were all pulled down into their make up chairs and given over to their stylists. Jaejoong was grateful; he didn't really want to hear what Yunho had to say.

“Sung Dami,” Jaejoong muttered under his breath. What could she possibly have against him? If she thought he was with Yunho, that might explain something, but she didn't. She thought he was with Soorin. But what was the connection there? Soorin hadn't mentioned ever meeting Dami in person, and even though Soorin was odd, that was no reason for Dami to dislike her outright.

I'm thinking too much into this, Jaejoong told himself sternly. She never threatened me or Soorin. She could have only been teasing me about a relationship she thinks I'm in. You just don't want to like her because she was flirting with your boyfriend.

“So you met Dami-ssi,” the stylist hyung said, pulling a straightener through Jaejoong's hair. “She's something, isn't she?”

“What do you mean?”

“I met her on the set of one of her films. And by 'met,' I mean I did that pretty head of hair of hers. She didn't actually talk to me. She spent the whole time she was in the stylist's chair on the phone with friends. I got a lot of quality eavesdropping in, which is why I say she was something. I'm a master eavesdropper, and I couldn't even understand what she up to half the time.”

“What, was she talking in code?”

“That's not quite how I would put it. A lot of celebrities have a roundabout way of speaking when they know someone else is around, and she was no exception. She was just particularly memorable, since usually it's pretty obvious when people are talking to a lover or complaining about another star behind their backs. I never got many clues as to what most of her conversations were about. She usually let the person on the other line do all the talking, and she just seemed to be pumping information from them.” He shrugged. “But maybe I just wasn't paying attention properly. I also got to do styling for Han Minjun-ssi on that film, and he was much more interesting to focus on. Your Saehee-ssi is a lucky girl to date him.”

“How was Dami-ssi on set?”

“A veritable angel. If she's anything like she was on that set, you'll have no problems with her for filming today.”

Jaejoong hoped he was right. In any case, they'd be doing the club scenes first with Changmin and then clearing the floor for their own routine, and then they'd be moving locations for some of their individual shots without dragging all the extras along with them. He could put her out of his mind soon enough as long as Changmin finished his parts quickly.

When he was finally styled and in costume, Jaejoong met up with the other members. To his relief, everybody's hair and make up was a lot simpler this time, and they were all looking very handsome. Chansik, Jongwoo, and Shinwon had also arrived, and were hanging out with the rest of the extras. Whoever styled Shinwon had done a real number on him. His long dyed caramel hair was pin straight and looked as soft as it did before in his old CF footage. He'd been put in tight leather pants and a red mesh shirt, which showcased his slender figure almost too well. Jaejoong wasn't at all surprised to find him swamped with both male and female extras chatting him up. Chansik and Jongwoo remained closer to the fringes of the group, talking with other people here and there.

“You look good,” Yunho said, staring at him appreciatively. “Your hair is so beautiful like that.”

“They didn't do all that much to it,” Jaejoong murmured, instinctively toying his fingers against the strands near his face. He was a little bit embarrassed by how quickly simple words from Yunho could change his mood. He already felt his lips slipping into a smile, forgetting his earlier annoyance at Yunho for letting himself be touched so easily by Dami.

His mood quickly fell when he saw her breaking through the crowd of extras. She'd been put into a skin tight leather skirt and a pale white tank top, her normally modest face made more striking by heavy eye liner and glitter make up. Everyone's eyes followed her as she made her way to them, but her eyes were only on one person.

Jaejoong felt nauseous. He didn't want to see her or listen to her. She was the kind of person they were all supposed to want. If not for him, Yunho would probably be over the moon about catching her attention. Knowing that made him feel sick. He'd thought he'd forgotten them completely by now, but Seunghee's words from the summer he met Yunho came back to him. You never know who a guy with such a pretty face is going to distract. He really was an enemy to this kind of woman. They thought he was taking from them what he had no right to have, and maybe they were right.

Before Dami could reach them, Jaejoong slipped away towards Chansik and Jongwoo. He didn't want to stay there anymore, to be poisoned by more of these thoughts. Soorin's voice spoke to him, washing out Seunghee's. Just keep in mind how you felt when Yunho ah felt jealous over me ... didn't you wonder how he could feel that way when you loved only him? That kind of feeling might go both ways. Wouldn't it be a miracle if it did?

“Hyung,” Jongwoo called out, waving. “I had no idea the set would look this cool! I don't even know how they managed to fit all those cameras and people in one room.”

“It is pretty fantastic, isn't it?” To Jaejoong's surprise, Chansik hadn't registered his arrival and was still staring blankly off into the sea of faces. “Chansik ah? Everything all right?”

Chansik's head jerked in surprise. “Hyung! Don't sneak up on me like that!”

“...I didn't sneak up on you.”

“He didn't,” Jongwoo confirmed. “Your head was in the clouds. Or were you looking for Shinwon ah? We've lost track of him, looks like.” He glanced over his shoulder, spotting Shinwon and the crowd around him. “Or perhaps he'd be happier if we just let him be.”

“He's such a show off,” Chansik muttered. “Did you see what he was wearing?”

“As if I could miss it,” Jongwoo snorted. “Our Shinwon can be a bit of a babe when he wants to be.”

“A babe?” Chansik echoed faintly. “He's a guy.”

“And an attractive one at that,” Jaejoong added. You have only yourself to blame if you never noticed up until now.

“Well, whatever,” Chansik snapped, his face flushing. “You'll always be better looking, and what do you get? Some girl in leather taking the attention of the one who matters to you.”

Jaejoong looked over his shoulder. Yunho was running through his part of their dance routine, and Dami was following along with him at his side. They were both smiling and laughing so widely that it hurt to look. Yunho had looked at him like that before, and he knew how it felt. How Yunho's gaze could sweep over you and pull you in, how you could see yourself reflected back in his eyes. He didn't want anyone else to know that feeling. It was selfish, but unavoidable. The minute that smile and those eyes turned to someone else too often was the minute he stopped being special, and the minute there was room for someone else to step in. Just thinking of it terrified him. He didn't want to lose him. This wasn't the same kind of feeling he'd had when he thought Yunho had been in love with Minhee before they dated; this was having to contend with the idea of losing the love that had come to mean so much to him, and knowing exactly what he'd lost.

“I'm sorry,” Chansik said quietly. “I didn't mean to make you feel bad. God, I always talk like an around you, hyung. I'm sorry.”

Jaejoong patted his arm. “Don't be. You should think about the reason why you said it in the first place. I don't think it was because of me.”

“What are you two talking about?” Jongwoo asked, glancing over at Yunho and Dami. “Heh. She's not my type, but he's a lucky guy. It must be nice to a have a girl like that after him.”

“A girl like that,” Jaejoong said quietly.

“Jongwoo ah, just shut up,” Chansik snapped. “Hyung, I'm sorry. He doesn't know... I mean, it's obvious that you're the one Yu-”

Jaejoong lifted up his hand. “It's fine. Really. I need to get back. Filming is going to be starting soon, so you should round up Shinwon ah. Do your best guys, hwaiting!” The words sounded wooden to his ears, but he didn't want to crack now. They had a filming to do, and he owed it to everyone to do his best.

“Jae?” Yunho asked when he returned to the group. He'd stopped dancing with Dami, but she was still hovering nearby, still watching him with her fond and cloying smile. “You okay?”

“Why wouldn't I be okay?” Jaejoong asked in a high-pitched voice. “Everything is fine.”

“How could anything possibly be wrong with such a smiling, pretty face like that?” Dami said sweetly. “Thanks for the dance lesson, Yunho ah. I'll do my best for the filming.”

When she walked past Jaejoong on her way back to the other extras, her smile only grew wider. He clenched his fist, but he didn't know exactly what he was fighting. He was the one who had Yunho, he knew that. He just didn't know how well he stood up to siege, or just what she had in mind when it came to bringing him down.  

My wings have lost their strength,

and the days only seem to be filled with sin

I’m greeted with fragments of my

poisonous dreams in the morning, there’s no sparkle

Truth is what everyone wants,
but they only show lies on their faces