A/N: I know "Summer Dream" isn't a JJ composed song, but it fit this chapter too perfectly to pass up. Thanks as always to everyone who has supported so far, and I hope you contine to enjoy :D

SUMMER DREAM

It felt as if something between them changed after that, but Jaejoong couldn't put his finger on just what it was. They didn't talk about Minhee or anything related to dating anymore, and most days they threw themselves into their recording projects without digging into anything else. Yunho had found a friend from school to perform electric guitar for a backing track for Mine and had done additional work on mixing Jaejoong's vocal, but though it was sounding better by the day, he kept on insisting that it wasn't the right song to audition with. Hip hop was in right now rather than rock, and since Jaejoong wasn't that much of a rapper, Yunho wanted his audition tape to feature a stand-by ballad. Jaejoong had offered to try recording Wasurenaide or All Alone, but Yunho wanted him to finish his other song instead.

“When you audition, you have to give it everything you have,” he'd said. “And I think that song feels the most like you through the lyrics.”

“It's not even finished. I could end up writing absolute garbage for the rest of it.”

“But you won't, will you?” Yunho had flashed him puppy dog eyes, and that had been the end of that conversation.

So he had written down the words he'd been withholding from the song and had given it to Yunho to work on the melody. It was after that when he particularly began to notice that there was something different to the way Yunho was acting. Even when he was seated at his computer and working on mixing beats, sometimes Jaejoong would catch him simply staring at the lyrics in the notebook, his computer screen completely ignored. He'd become more prone to zoning out at the market, too, and when Jaejoong told him to get it together, he'd only smile thinly and apologize just to do it again a few minutes later.

Jaejoong wondered from time to time if the weather was frying Yunho's brain. It just kept getting hotter and hotter to the point where it was a battle to keep their water bottles filled when they were working. There were storms here and there to break up the days and keep Auntie Minjung's garden watered enough to survive, but it felt like they spent more days drowning in their own sweat than not. Yunho seemed to lose focus the most on the hotter days, which resulted in him blankly staring at Jaejoong's dampened face for so long that it made him feel self-conscious.

Today, Yunho had brought bottle spritzers with him and was spraying their faces with them whenever it got too hot. Since the crowds were a bit thin due to the renewed heatwave, it wound up turning into a water battle between the two of them in order to pass the time, and their faces were both soaked by time lunch rolled around.

When Junsu dropped by to see them during break, he wasted no time in snickering at them over it. “Either you two are capable of sweating a river, or you dipped your head in one,” he said with a laugh. Yunho answered by spritzing him straight in the face without warning.

“Hyung, you shouldn't tease me when I'm trying to make you a nice offer. I'll make it to Jaejoong hyung instead.” He wiped his face. “My family has a summer pension by the lake, and they said I could go up for the weekend to get away from the heat. You and Yunho are invited, or at least Yunho was...”

“The place you took us last year?” Yunho asked, brightening up. “Count me in!”

“I said you're not invited anymore, hyung.”

“Yeah, and if you don't change your mind about that, I'll hold Jaejoongie and Minnie hostage and you can go alone with Yoochun.”

“...fine. You can come. Want to drive this time?”

“In my piece of crap truck? No thank you.”

“The fish wagon it is, then,” Junsu said. “That's the van my dad uses to haul back his catches,” he explained to Jaejoong, “so you might want to bring an air freshener along with you to add to my collection, because the smell is no joke.”

“We should also bring a lot of mosquito repellant, too, if I remember correctly.”

“And sunblock. I don't know how stocked the kitchen will be, so we may have to do some grocery shopping when we're there, but the sheets and pillows should all be fresh.” He glanced at his watch. “I need to be getting back. We have some ice chips coming in, and I kind of want to use them on myself rather than the fish.”

“Have Yoochun dump them down your back.”

“Or I could just use them on the fish. That will be better.” He turned to leave, but looked back at the last second. “Oh, by the way, Jaejoong hyung. Minhee says she's glad you and Yunho have made up, and that she's rooting for you! Hwaiting!”

Yunho's eyes narrowed, and he glanced at Jaejoong. “Rooting for you? Why?”

“Oh, nothing. I may have mentioned something to her about trying to audition,” Jaejoong lied.

“Hmm. I'm rooting for you harder, you know.” There was still water dripping down his face from their battle earlier, so Jaejoong reached out to wipe it with the back of his hand. When he tried to draw it away, Yunho caught it in his own. “Jae...”

Jaejoong glanced at him nervously. “Yes?”

“Do you think I'll be able to see you again after this summer?”

Jaejoong winced. It was a question he'd asked himself several times already, but he was hardly sure of the answer. A clean break felt like it would be easiest, but all the same, he didn't want to simply throw away the friends he had made here. If he never saw Yunho again, he wouldn't be seeing Yoochun, Changmin, or Junsu either, and that thought made him sad. He wanted to continue to hold on to all of them, even if that meant having to get over his feelings for Yunho to do it.

“Shouldn't we just cross that bridge when we get there?” Jaejoong asked.

“I don't want to cross it,” Yunho seriously. “If you were just going home, that would be no problem since you only live about an hour away. But if you become a trainee, you'll be so busy...”

“Why don't you audition, too, then?”

“I don't think I'm at the skill level yet. And besides, I'm pretty sure my parents would disown me.”

“You might be surprised. I thought the same about mine, too.” Jaejoong smiled. “And your Auntie will definitely support you through anything. She's on your side.”

“I'll think about it,” Yunho said, waving his hand dismissively. “Still, we'll have to take a break on getting you ready for your audition tape to go to the pension this weekend. It'll be worth it, though. It's a really nice place, and there's air conditioning.”

“I've almost forgotten what that feels like.”

“Ah, it'll be so fun this year. Especially since you're going to be there.” Yunho grinned. “It'll be just the right thing to clear our heads a little.”

Clear your head of what?, Jaejoong wanted to ask him. What's been bothering you?

He held himself back, but for once, he genuinely wanted to know. In spite of himself, he couldn't help but wonder if it maybe, just maybe, had something to do with him.

0o0

Early Saturday morning, Junsu rolled up in the fish wagon with Yoochun in the passenger seat. Yunho and Jaejoong had already packed up their things the night before, so they woke up at the last minute and stumbled outside sleepily with their bags. Changmin came out from next door a few minutes later, carrying the remains of his breakfast with him in a plastic container.

The drive to the pension was smelly thanks to the lingering fish stench Junsu had promised, but the scenery was beautiful. Jaejoong had spent his life living close to the city, so the country sights were new to him. Yunho tried pretending to be his tour guide for the beginning of the trip, but Changmin started to jokingly mimic him, which launched into the four of them making fun of each other by telling embarrassing stories. Jaejoong's favorite was one Yoochun told about Changmin “accidentally” pushing Yunho down a hill on the way home from school when he'd been dressed up like a pumpkin for a school play. Changmin claimed that he'd did it to see how many times Yunho would roll in his stout costume, and that he still remembered that the final result was fifteen times.

Listening to them gave Jaejoong a warm feeling. This is what having friends is like, he realized. I definitely do not want to lose this. I can't make a clean break. Not anymore.

They arrived in the early afternoon to the pension building, which wound up being a two-bedroom house with a massive kitchen and eating area on the first floor. The neighboring lake was wide and filled with fish from what Jaejoong could see of the movement darting beneath the surface, and its water was warm to the touch when he dipped his fingers in before they entered the house.

“And now the most important part of the day,” Yoochun announced. “Who gets the beds?”

“The master bedroom has a king sized bed, and the guest room has a smaller bed,” Junsu explained. “My brother and I used to share it when we were little, but it would only fit one of us now. Especially if that person happens to be Changmin. The other two people will have to sleep on a mattress.”

Jaejoong didn't particularly care where he wound up sleeping, just as long as it wasn't in the same bed as Yunho. He was doing a good job of reigning in any inappropriate thoughts he was having about him, but sharing a bed would probably destroy that, especially since Yuhno generally slept shirtless.

They played rock-paper-scissors for the master bedroom, and Junsu won the first round, with Yoochun winning the second. Okay, I have to get the single bed so I'm not sleeping on the floor with Yunho. He closed his eyes. Changmin will choose rock, because of that silly 'rock is a real man's choice,' so I'll go with paper.

But when he opened his eyes, Yuhno was showing paper too, and Changmin was showing scissors. Crap, crap, crap, crap.

“It's okay, it's a good mattress,” Junsu said, when he saw the look on Jaejoong's face. Yoochun only smiled sympathetically.

“So what are we going to do first?” Changmin asked once they'd dropped their stuff off into the rooms. “Is there any food?”

“Looks like we're going to need to go shopping,” Junsu said. “Or at least one or two of us should go while the rest of us get the silverware and plates and stuff out of storage.”

“I'll go,” Jaejoong volunteered. “I'll be the one cooking, so it'll be best if I pick up the ingredients.”

“I'll go with,” Yunho said quickly. “I've been here before, so I know how to get to the store.”

“I could go, t-” Changmin started to say, but Yoochun elbowed him in the ribs, and he quickly shut up.

“Changmin will make you spend too much money if he goes, so you two are fine,” Yoochun said, smirking as Changmin rubbed his wounded stomach. “After lunch, we can hang out at the lake, so don't take too long!” He winked at Jaejoong.

“Yoochun has been acting awfully familiar with you lately,” Yunho pointed out once they were outside. “I could yell at him for you, if you wanted.”

Jaejoong shook his head. “It's fine. Even if he teases me a little, he's still a good friend.”

Yunho poked Jaejoong in the arm. “You're absolutely not allowed to like Yoochun more than you like me, okay?”

“That's selfish of you,” Jaejoong muttered.

“I know. But you were my friend first.”

“Is that how it works? Then shouldn't I be jealous of all of your millions of friends, if that's the case?”

“Aren't you?” Yunho asked.

“If I was, I think it would make me exhausted from what Changmin has told me about how many people know you from school.” Truthfully, the only reason it didn't bother him was that he wasn't seeing all of these people with Yunho regularly. If he was his classmate, he was sure he would get a bit jealous. Because he lived and worked with Yunho, he'd been able to feel special to him for the summer, but at school, he would just be one of many swarming around him. He remembered what Yoochun had said about Yunho having so many people he was close to that very few of them were truly special, and Jaejoong wasn't sure he wanted to know he fell on the spectrum when faced up with everyone else.

The supermarket was crowded since it was the weekend, and Yunho and Jaejoong had to squeeze pretty tightly together to avoid brushing into other people in the aisles. It made Jaejoong a little bit flustered to see that most of the other shoppers were couples stocking up for the weekend. He'd seen plenty of other pensions across the lake, and it looked like most of them were rented out to younger couples of the honeymooner variety.

Yunho noticed, too. “Who knew grocery shopping was such a couple thing to do?” He pointed to a packet of white rice on the shelf. “Get some of that for us, jagiya.”

Jaejoong almost crashed the cart. “Jagiya?”

“There's just two of us here, too,” Yunho said with a wink.

“Don't joke,” Jaejoong muttered, throwing the rice into the cart.

“Would you rather I used yeobo? Or some other cute nickname?”

Jaejoong glared at him. You're taunting me. And you don't even realize it.

Even though they were only staying two days, Jaejoong made sure to get enough to outlast the appetite of five teenage boys, Changmin in particular. It was fortunate he liked cooking so much, since he had the feeling he'd be taking care of breakfast, lunch, and dinner for all five of them.

The girl at the cash register recognized Yunho right away. “You're Kim Junsu's friend from last year,” she said, smiling brightly. “Are you staying at the pension again this year?” She looked so happy to see Yunho that Jaejoong couldn't help glaring down at his feet and pouting. See, I can get jealous, too.

“Yeah, just for the weekend.”

She finally noticed Jaejoong. “Oh. You... brought your girlfriend, too?”

Yunho immediately started laughing. Jaejoong hadn't cut his hair since running away, and it was getting on the long side, but this marked the first occasion he'd ever been confused for a girl. Jaejoong looked down at his clothes. He was wearing a fairly gender neutral white tee with a pair of jeans, but the shirt was v-necked enough to indicate he had a perfectly flat chest. The girl had a pair of glasses perched on the top of her head, so Jaejoong could only hope she'd gotten confused because her vision was bad.

Yunho tried to disguise his laughter with a coughing fit. “It's just an innocent vacation. Nothing to get worried over, noona.”

“If you say so.” She squinted at Jaejoong. “You two look so good together though...”

“Thanks for saying so,” Yunho said sincerely, accepting the bagged groceries she handed to him. “Take care of yourself, noona.”

They were both quiet for awhile after leaving the store. “Sorry about that,” Yunho said finally. “Jimin noona is from the house next door to Junsu's family's, and apparently she keeps telling herself that she really doesn't need glasses even though she's as blind as a bat. She also thought Yoochun was a girl when they first met, because of his hair.”

“You didn't correct her, though.”

Yunho shrugged. “Does it matter if she was right or wrong? This vacation is for the five of us, it's not like I want to have a fling with the girl next door. Besides, we look good together, Boojae.”

“Boojae?”

“That's the nickname I decided on. For you.”

Jaejoong stared at him, uncertain of how to feel. “Is this so much of a joke for you?” he asked softly.

Yunho smile faded, and he leaned forward to brush Jaejoong's hair away from his forehead. “Why would I tell a joke that wouldn't make you laugh?”

Jaejoong's heart started pounding wildly. He didn't quite understand what Yunho was trying to say to him, but the words were spoken so gently that he knew Yunho hadn't been trying to hurt him with anything he'd said. He wasn't joking, and though it wasn't clear how serious he was being either, Jaejoong was just relieved he wasn't being openly mocked, though he doubted Yunho knew how close to home the whole scenario hit.

“Anyways, the nicknames you give people are special,” Yunho said, pulling open the van doors and tossing their groceries in. “Yoochun doesn't have his own name for you, and neither do Changmin and Junsu. That sets me apart, right?”

“You don't need to be set apart,” Jaejoong sighed. You are so far above everyone else that I don't know how my heart is going to keep on taking this.

0o0

Just as Yoochun promised, they spent the afternoon down by the lake. Yoochun and Junsu wanted to fish, so Changmin, Yunho, and Jaejoong tried to make life difficult for them by skipping stones and disturbing the waters, even though Yunho was the only one who was actually any good at it. When they got tired of that, Yunho and Changmin stripped off their shirts and sunbathed on the docks, while Jaejoong went to sit by Junsu and Yoochun on the embankment so he wouldn't get caught ogling Yunho in front of everyone.

“It's already the summer before Yunho hyung's senior year,” Junsu sighed, reeling in his line and recasting it. “This may be one of the last summers we can all get together like this.”

“Are you going to go to university, hyung?” Yoochun called up to Yunho on the decks.

“Do you think my family would let me skip?”

“You could take over Auntie Minjung's business?”

“You think she would let me? Every time I walk into the garden, she shrieks at me for stepping on things.”

“I think Yunho should audition with me,” Jaejoong told Yoochun. “He's a good singer and rapper, and he already knows a lot about composing and producing.”

“Agreed,” Junsu nodded. “I'm thinking about it, too. The club where I used to sing before I got busted actually offered to put me in touch with an industry buddy, but I have to at least pretend to be interested in school for now so my parents don't kill me. My dad wants me to inherit the fish business.”

“So does mine,” Yoochun added. “But who knows, I may actually do it. I think my father would cry himself to sleep every night if both his son and his business partner's gave it up.”

“You've always suited it better than me. Look, your line is tugging.”

Yoochun reeled it in, revealing a flopping fish at the end of the hook. Jaejoong backed away so when Yoochun got it the rest of the way in, it wouldn't be flopping anywhere next to him. He'd had enough of smelling fish for one day.

They had a big dinner together in the evening, which Junsu thankfully helped Jaejoong put together so he wasn't doing it by himself, and when they'd finished eating and cleaning up, they went to the back yard to set off Junsu's supply of sparklers. Just as Yunho had predicted, the mosquitoes were out in full force, so they lit citronella candles before running through the yard together with their sparklers and fire cracker launchers, acting like immature little banshees.

Jaejoong got tired out fastest, partially because he was still half-stuffed from dinner and partially because he had exhausted a lot of energy making it, so he took a break at the dock, dipping his toes into the cool water. It was getting dark, and he could see the stars overhead. The sky looked so much wider here than it ever had back home. It felt liberating, just looking at it. It was hard to feel caged in this kind of place, not with everything else around him so beautiful and open and free.

After awhile, Yunho came to sit down beside him. He nodded towards the dock next door where a shadowy figure was standing, facing them. “Looks like Jimin noona is out. She can probably see us.”

“If she has her glasses on.”

“Well, she can hear us at least. She knows we're out here, jagiya”

That was as much of an invitation as Jaejoong was ever going to get. If Jimin already thought they were a couple, and it was Yunho that made her think that way, why not go along with it? He leaned his head on Yunho's shoulder just as he'd wanted to that day at the stream, gently nestling against Yunho's neck. Instead of drawing away in surprise, Yunho also leaned into him, resting his head on top of Jaejoong's and lacing their hands together from where they'd been resting side by side on the dock.

Why doesn't it feel like pretend anymore?, Jaejoong wondered. It may be real for me, but for him... for him, what was it?

“Boojae,” Yunho murmured, sounding somewhat sleepy himself. “You looked so happy today. I wish we could always be like this.”

We? “Yeah. I guess it was nice to clear our heads, after all.”

“And figure out what's really inside of them.” Yunho squeezed his hand. “And I thought about it a little bit, what I asked you earlier. If I'd be able to see when the summer's over.”

“...yes?”

“It's only ever goodbye when we say it is. If we don't say it, that means that we want to see each other again and that we will. So even when you do go, I'm not going to be saying goodbye to you, all right?”

Yunho yawned then and closed his eyes, and Jaejoong reached up to his own face to brush away the tears that were beginning to fall, thankful that Yunho trusted in his happiness and couldn't see them slipping sweetly from his eyes.

0o0

Bedtime rolled around before Jaejoong had mentally prepared for it, and he watched nervously as Junsu set up a memory foam mattress on the ground and piled pillows and sheets on top. He'd hoped they'd at least have separate futons for sleeping on the floor of the guest room with Changmin, but it looked like they were going to have to share. He considered asking Changmin if he could squeeze into the bed with him, but there was no way he'd fit given the length of Changmin's body.

Yunho slid in right away, showing no signs of uneasiness. In fact, he was tired enough to where Jaejoong was sure he'd practically dozed off from the moment his head hit the pillow. Jaejoong tentatively slid in beside him, turning his back to Yunho's front just to be safe. All right, Kim Jaejoong. Don't think about what happened tonight, or any other dangerous thoughts. Think about death or being bullied or whatever it takes not to react.

It still took awhile for him to be calm enough to sleep. Whenever he tried to replay the moment of Yunho discovering him with Minhee and how it had made him feel, all he could think of was Yoochun saying Did you ever consider that he's furious with Minhee over you? And then he thought of himself with Yunho on the docks, acting out being the couple they'd been mistaken for, and he was lost all over again. He couldn't quite convince his mind it was a game when it felt so real.

He finally dozed off sometime around the middle of the night until he was woken up by Yunho shifting beside him. A pair of arms reached to grab him, pulling him closer. Jaejoong nearly squeaked, but clapped his hands over his mouth just in time. Yunho was still asleep and had no idea what he was doing, so waking him up would be embarrassing for both of them. He tried to wiggle out of his arms, but Yunho had a pretty firm grip on his body.

Okay, okay, calm down. You were plenty close to him before, now you're just... closer. Think unhappy thoughts. Think you're just being hugged by a girl or something...who am I kidding, what girl has those kind of muscles? Jaejoong remembered that Yunho was currently shirtless and squirmed even more. This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this is absolutely not happening!

He spent the rest of the night with his eyes firmly squeezed tight, training himself to breathe. He could feel the rise and fall of Yunho's chest on his back, so it was impossible not to be aware of him, and every time he believed himself close to getting used to it, he felt Yunho's breath on his neck, inflaming him all over again.

It felt like years before morning came. He could hear Yunho stirring around nine o'clock, lifting his head and cluing into the fact that he'd slept with his arms wrapped around Jaejoong. Please let me go now, Jaejoong begged him in his head, though he pretended to be asleep and just as oblivious as Yunho had been to what had happened. Yunho let out a low “hmmm” in the back of his throat, but to Jaejoong's horror, he didn't let him go.

“Hyung,” Changmin hissed from the bed. He'd apparently just woken up, too. “What the hell are you doing?”

“What does it look like I'm doing? I'm embracing Jaejoongie,” Yunho whispered back.

“That's not something you should do to someone without their permission. Besides, he's...”

“He's not protesting, is he?”

“He's not exactly awake, either.” Changmin sighed. “Hyung, you better be serious. Because if you're not, I'll make you suffer.”

“You're not going to call me weird anymore?”

“You're weird. You're very weird. And if he winds up being okay with you, he's even weirder.” Jaejoong could hear Changmin shifting in bed. “Just get your head on straight first.”

“I will.” Yunho's arms finally released him, and he rolled over and off the mattress. “I need a shower. Let Jaejoongie sleep a little. He was really tired last night.”

But sleeping was the furthest thing from Jaejoong's mind. His head was whirling, not from having Yunho close or being touched by him, but from what he'd said. He thought he'd have a million different escape routes in explanations waiting for him in his mind, but there was only meaning he could come up with for what Changmin and Yunho had been saying. The one meaning he'd been denying himself for all this time.

What do I do?, he thought, his brain a mess of exhaustion and excitement. If I didn't dream all of that up, what am I supposed to do?

Jaejoong hugged the sheets closer to himself, listening to the distant pouring of the shower the next room over. He'd prepared himself for all his life for never being able to have anything he wanted, and had never thought for a moment something he dreamed of would come true. His heart didn't know the first thing about being satisfied, so he rested there and felt its throbbing, wondering if this was the point of all his prior suffering and sorrowful songs, so that he would one day be able to fully understand how pure and perfect this single feeling was. 

I always feel overflowing music
Passing through the sun
The hearts that desire each other across the sky
We are, we can become one
The more I think it’s important, it hurts my heart
I wish the time stops forever in this place

When the blue sky and ocean shine and overlap
Oh baby, the tears will dry, summer is smiling
Someday I hope my feelings will reach you
Fun is here forever, summer dream