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 Title: 3.5 over 5
In terms of catchiness, yes, the title pretty much caught my attention. Not the most creative title but yeah, it was good. It had a certain calling to me but in terms of its link to the story itself, the connection was quite shallow. I wasn't able to see what the title's bearing to the story really was. Oh yes, the kite (or the aero plane) fell and ended upon Kyujin... but that's it? That's all there is to it?


The title gives out the feeling of "ah, this might be a story about angels," yet you managed to disprove that and did very well not to use the overused angel-human theme so I'll retain a little more point for that.




 Poster & Background: N/A (-10)
I was disappointed because this story neither have a poster nor background. Most people, if not gravitated by the title, looks at the poster instead—just like how people get attracted to most things nowadays. People are inclined towards visualizations, arts, graphics.

I suggest you request from a graphic shop. There are a lot who would be more than willing to provide your needs. (I'm not sure if I could mention non-affies so I suggest you just search for them, hehe)




Description & Foreword: 9 over 10
A poem for description, wow, pretty unique. I seldom see this format and whenever I would see a poem, it would usually just be four lines. You even made use of schemes. Except that I spotted a few lapses:

Across the clouds and across the sky,
There it was, flying up so high.
Dancing with the swooshing of the wind,
I watched how the sun shined from behind.

The scheme of this stanza is aabb, no? However, wind and behind do not rhyme, technically, as wind has the sound of /i/ while behind had /ai/


It flew up in the air, through to horizon,
Leaving clueless kids in disappointment.
I watched it's disappearance in fixation,
And saw it's beautiful side accent.

First, in should be to. 'In' indicates position while 'to' indicates destination; my point is, flew is a non-stagnant verb hence it should have a destination because it is moving. That is why 'to' is more appropriate to use. It flew up to the air.

Second, you might have confused 'its' with 'it's.' Note that it's translates to it is. Taking your line in consideration: I watched it is disappearance in fixation, it sounds just wrong. Very wrong.

Points to remember:
- its is a possesive determiner used for inanimate objects (notice that we use 'it' for things, not he/she) Its usage is the same as his, her, their, ours. It expresses ownership over something; a quality, a possesion, etc. 
- it's on the other hand is the contracted form of it is. 




Plot: 28 over 35
The plot wasn't very unique although it wasn't common as well. It just lacks an intense for me, maybe because of the timeskip which took away a great opportunity to