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«ғᴀsᴛ ♦ ᴇᴀsʏ» ᴀᴅ & ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ sʜᴏᴘ ᴀʀᴄʜɪᴠᴇ
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mother!
story link | Author Link
Review by: Losthuman
Title: 2.5 over 5
The title that you used is usually associated with genres like fluff, comedy and romance, and well sometimes horror yet I like how you incorporated the thriller genre in it. But I have to deduct some points since it really did not grab my attention or even aroused my curiosity.
Poster & Background: 7 over 10
Your poster was placed in the Foreword area. I suggest that you move it up on top of the description part. It would also help in promoting your story if you placed it above. You did not use any background so it really messed up the emotion that your fan fiction is trying to convey. I also suggest that you should change the font that was used in your poster, make it more recognizable. It blends all too well with the colors used.
Description & Foreword: 5 over 10
Your description is concise and straight to the point, you did not beat around the bush and directly introduced what your story will be about, but I found some minor mistakes...
Original: Woohyun is a normal guy with a normal boring life as everyone else. The thing that was not so normal about him was his fugitive father who ran away with all the money they had and never returned. And because of that, Woohyun's mother has to work like a slave to give him food and a warm house. Woohyun hates his father and his relationship with his mother isn't that comfortable either. His life was simply going on as a normal life, but in a certain day, something happened that changed that...
Where is my mom?
Suggested Revision:
Woohyun is a normal guy with a boring life as everyone else. The thing that is not normal about him is his fugitive father who ran away with all the money they had and never returned. And because of that, Woohyun's mother has to work like a slave to give him food and a warm house. He hates his father and his relationship with his mother isn't that comfortable either. He was trying to live a simple and normal life, but in a certain day, something happened that changed that...
Where is my mom?
In your foreword section, please put your credits on the last part, your character chart should be uniformed, so do try to look for photos that would suit your genre well, if you started with a gif or a black and white picture please be consistent. The size is also important, so kindly resize it to 250x250 or 150x250. I also found some minor glitches in the quotations/ lines that you used for your characters.
Original: (Woohyun)
"What is? What do you want from me?"
Suggested revision:
“What is it that you want from me?”
Original: (Sulli)
"Haha he is so cute~"
Suggested Revision:
“Hahaha! He is so cute~”
Original: (Hwangbo)
"Ok. That's enough. You all come to my office after the short break"
Suggested revision:
“Ok, that’s enough. All of you come to my office after the short break.”
Plot: 25 over 35
Your plot is not that unique, but I love how you rendered each character. I would just suggest that you’d add more to your updates, and a few more details should be added to explain a situation that your characters are in.
Flow & Consistency: 10 over 15
Your flow was pretty consistent but there were parts that seemed to lack some details, you should have added more. And those lacking details made me loose interest while I read. You should also use different fonts if you are showing a text message or a thought.
Reader's response: 3 over 5
Your story’s responses were good but, you have 43 subscribers, you need to put something up that can make them comment in your story.
Grammar: 7 over 15
There are a lot of grammar errors and missing punctuation marks in your story, I have observed it from the beginning until your very last update (I read your entire fic.T^T) You were pretty consistent in missing punctuations in every chapters, I do suggest that before you post it up, please re-read your whole story or look for a beta-reader or proof reader that can help you out with those. Here are some errors that I have seen (I won’t put everything here.)
Chapter 1: (Whole Chapter)
Wake up wake up~ wake up wake up~
It was already 6:00 am and Woohyun had to go to the school.
"Aish!! I really hate to wake up early" he messed his hair and stood up from his bed. After he walked like a drunk person, he wore his school uniform and sat on his bed again.It seemed like he wasn't fully awake yet. His eyes were about to close when suddenly a message was received.
"Aish! What the ?" he jumped a little bit at the sound of the text and looked at his phone and wondered who has sent him a message at this time. It was Myungsoo. "No wonder…" Woohyun thought.
"Hyung! Are we going together like every morning?" the message said. Their apartment was really close to each other.
"Why are you asking this every time? The answer i
The title that you used is usually associated with genres like fluff, comedy and romance, and well sometimes horror yet I like how you incorporated the thriller genre in it. But I have to deduct some points since it really did not grab my attention or even aroused my curiosity.
Poster & Background: 7 over 10
Your poster was placed in the Foreword area. I suggest that you move it up on top of the description part. It would also help in promoting your story if you placed it above. You did not use any background so it really messed up the emotion that your fan fiction is trying to convey. I also suggest that you should change the font that was used in your poster, make it more recognizable. It blends all too well with the colors used.
Description & Foreword: 5 over 10
Your description is concise and straight to the point, you did not beat around the bush and directly introduced what your story will be about, but I found some minor mistakes...
Original: Woohyun is a normal guy with a normal boring life as everyone else. The thing that was not so normal about him was his fugitive father who ran away with all the money they had and never returned. And because of that, Woohyun's mother has to work like a slave to give him food and a warm house. Woohyun hates his father and his relationship with his mother isn't that comfortable either. His life was simply going on as a normal life, but in a certain day, something happened that changed that...
Where is my mom?
Suggested Revision:
Woohyun is a normal guy with a boring life as everyone else. The thing that is not normal about him is his fugitive father who ran away with all the money they had and never returned. And because of that, Woohyun's mother has to work like a slave to give him food and a warm house. He hates his father and his relationship with his mother isn't that comfortable either. He was trying to live a simple and normal life, but in a certain day, something happened that changed that...
Where is my mom?
In your foreword section, please put your credits on the last part, your character chart should be uniformed, so do try to look for photos that would suit your genre well, if you started with a gif or a black and white picture please be consistent. The size is also important, so kindly resize it to 250x250 or 150x250. I also found some minor glitches in the quotations/ lines that you used for your characters.
Original: (Woohyun)
"What is? What do you want from me?"
Suggested revision:
“What is it that you want from me?”
Original: (Sulli)
"Haha he is so cute~"
Suggested Revision:
“Hahaha! He is so cute~”
Original: (Hwangbo)
"Ok. That's enough. You all come to my office after the short break"
Suggested revision:
“Ok, that’s enough. All of you come to my office after the short break.”
Plot: 25 over 35
Your plot is not that unique, but I love how you rendered each character. I would just suggest that you’d add more to your updates, and a few more details should be added to explain a situation that your characters are in.
Flow & Consistency: 10 over 15
Your flow was pretty consistent but there were parts that seemed to lack some details, you should have added more. And those lacking details made me loose interest while I read. You should also use different fonts if you are showing a text message or a thought.
Reader's response: 3 over 5
Your story’s responses were good but, you have 43 subscribers, you need to put something up that can make them comment in your story.
Grammar: 7 over 15
There are a lot of grammar errors and missing punctuation marks in your story, I have observed it from the beginning until your very last update (I read your entire fic.T^T) You were pretty consistent in missing punctuations in every chapters, I do suggest that before you post it up, please re-read your whole story or look for a beta-reader or proof reader that can help you out with those. Here are some errors that I have seen (I won’t put everything here.)
Chapter 1: (Whole Chapter)
Wake up wake up~ wake up wake up~
It was already 6:00 am and Woohyun had to go to the school.
"Aish!! I really hate to wake up early" he messed his hair and stood up from his bed. After he walked like a drunk person, he wore his school uniform and sat on his bed again.It seemed like he wasn't fully awake yet. His eyes were about to close when suddenly a message was received.
"Aish! What the ?" he jumped a little bit at the sound of the text and looked at his phone and wondered who has sent him a message at this time. It was Myungsoo. "No wonder…" Woohyun thought.
"Hyung! Are we going together like every morning?" the message said. Their apartment was really close to each other.
"Why are you asking this every time? The answer i
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