Donghae

It was just her and I in the darkness of the small closest. It took a while for either of us to speak. But for some strange reason, it was really awkward. When I think of being alone with her for 7 minutes, I didn't imagine it to be like this. My eyes traced up to her face, she looked sad. I wanted to comfort her but now that I know that she likes Wooyoung and he likes her, there's no use in me trying anymore. I might as well be her best friend and support her.

"Uhm," I laughed, "So--"

"You heard what Wooyoung said too, right?" She interrupted, "You heard it all, right?"

"Yeah--Yeah I did..."

"Aish~" She whined, banging the back of her head against the wall, "Ottoke~"

"What's the matter?"

"Waaah, I don't know what emotions I should be feeling~~~"

"Are you stupid or something?" I mockingly asked.

"No~~~ Not like that!" She whined, "I mean... I like him too...."

Its not like I didn't know already, but hearing it from you really makes my heart hurt.

"And," She paused, "I'm just afraid that if I tell him how I feel... Our friendship will be ruined."

"Ah," I smiled, "I'm in your shoes too."

"Really? Tell me, Oppa!"

"Aish," I grumbled, "Well, I've liked her for close to 4 months now ... I know its not long but I've really come to love her. We've become so close that I'm afraid that if I reveal the truth to her, nothing would be the same. And just recently, I found out that she likes the guy I hate most in this world. "

"Oh boy," She giggled, "Who is she?"

"Well, she doesn't go to our school anymore-- In fact, some people don't really remember her... When she went to our school, 2 years ago, several people bullied her."

"Aw, that's so sad! .. Did you protect her from those mean people?"

"It's funny that you ask... No, I didn't protect her. I was the very one who caused trouble to her. Because of me, everyday at school was lived with misery."

"Oppa, I didn't think you'd do that..."

"Yeah, well, that was 2 years ago," I laughed, "A lot has changed since then..."

"Did I know her?"

"Yeah, you knew her. You knew her very well," I laughed, "In fact, you knew her way better than me."

"I must've forgotten her when I had my accident .. It's a pity, I wanted to meet Oppa's girlfriend!"

If only you knew that she was you, Miyoung.

-----

"Do you guys still talk?"

"Yeah," I smiled, "She's one of my closest friends."

"Really??" She giggled, "How come I'm only hearing about her now?"

"It's because she's too awesome for you."

"Psh, she may be awesome~" She whined, "But I'm even more awesome!"

"No, you aren't. You're just Miyoung... The dog."

"Aigoo," She grumbled.

"To be honest, she's one of the few friends who I like to talk to." I began, "She's my best friend."

"Aw! Well, then we have a thing in common," She smiled, "We both like our best friends~"

"You like--Taeyeon?!"

"Ew, no!" She giggled, "My best friend is Wooyoung~"

"But what about Taeyeon? I thought that she was your best friend? Did you guys--fight or something?" I asked with a surprised tone.

"She's my best friend too, silly~" She slapped me on my arm before continuing, "When I was little, Wooyoung and Taeyeon were my best friends. It was just us 3 ~ Aigoo, we were only little children that time, so of course I didn't think of him as a boyfriend or anything, he was just .. Wooyounggie to me."

"Wooyounggie?"

"Haha," She smiled, "I use to call him that a lot and he use to call me 'Miyounggie.'"

Damnit, now I want to create a cute nickname for you. Something better than 'Miyounggie.'

"It's just a shame that I all those memories we've made were so long ago... I bet he doesn't even remember when I gave him a mouse as a pet--"

"A mouse?!" I laughed, "Who gives people mice as pets??"

"Aigoo, oppa. Only cool people do!" She giggled, "Just kidding^^, it was a dare from Taeyeon~ She dared me to give Wooyoung a mouse for his birthday. He really hates mice. Haha"

"Woah--What happened when you gave it to him?"

"He screamed and ran away to cry in the bathroom," She laughed.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing as well. Aish, he's such a girl.

--------

"I remember when I'd always use to beat the kids up who picked on Wooyoung," She laughed.

"Woah, you can fight? Damn girl," I smiled.

"Yeah," She giggled, "I use to take Tae Kwon Do when I was younger^^"

What a cool girl.

"From what I'm hearing, Wooyoung sounds like he's a scaredy-cat," I laughed.

"You see, he was really weak; afraid to be heard. That's the reason why so many people took advantage of him. I wanted to protect him and make sure no one hurt him."

She's such a strong girl.

"I remember the time when--" She began.

----

All I could do was try to smile for her as I listened to her tell me about the memories they've created; from childhood till now. It makes me sad how they've created so many memories. So many good ones. We've created memories too, but most of them have caused her to suffer and be in pain. Damn, I wish we had more memories than those filthy ones.

----

"AIGOOOO," She whined.

"What's wrong ?"

She mumbled to herself, "But I'm just worried."

"Why?"

"I'm always doubting myself," She said, "What if--he moves onto another girl before I even get the chance to tell him my feelings?"

Trust me, Miyoung, he won't. He loves you too much to let go of you for another girl.

"He won't," I smiled, "He won't give up on you."

"How do you know that?"

"Don't ask me how, but I've known him long enough to know that he won't give up on you. He didn't go this far for him to just give up on you like that."

"But--"

"Go for it."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"Aigoo," She whined, "I'm doubting myself again."

"Well, don't." I said, "You heard it yourself; that he likes you."

"But--"

"Make the best out of it. Go for it."

"Oppa~"

"Listen," I finally said, "Doubting will get you nowhere."

"Well... That's true--"

"He's a good guy and he'll treat you good, I promise."

What the hell am I saying?

"You really think so?"

"I'm serious, Miyoung, I wouldn't tell you this if I didnt mean it."

"Thank you, Oppa," She mumbled, crawling up to me to sit next to me, she then put her head on my shoulder, "You're such a good friend."

Friend. Will I ever be anything more than a friend? I tried to pull of a smile, but I knew that doing this was the best way to fufill Miyoung's happiness. If she's happy, then I guess... I'm happy.

"I wish mom was here to see what a great friend I've made." She smiled.

"What do you mean?"

"Mom's up in heaven looking down on us..."

"I'm--I'm so sorry, Miyoung,"

"Some people don't understand the pain I have to go through, knowing that she's gone..."

Well, it looks like have something in common.

"If you don't mind telling me... What happened?"

"Of course, I don't mind at all."

She lifted her head off from my shoulder and began to hum a familiar lullaby before continuing to speak, "... I was only just a little girl so I didn't know the rules from what was right and what was wrong."

"I was being stupid that night," She mumbled, "Because that was first day that I saw the snow."

The Snow?

"Mom was in the kitchen preparing Kongguksu that time," She laughed, "Back then I use to hate it."

"But when I cooked it for you at your house a couple of months ago, it seemed like you loved it--"

"I forced myself to eat it... Because it keeps the memory of her still alive..."

I looked down with my hands tightly held together. She must've gone through a lot.

"I looked outside the window from my bedroom, that night, and of course since I was a little girl, my first instinct when I saw the snow was to run outside. Mom was too occupied in the kitchen to even notice that I ran outside. I really loved the snow. But after that night, I began to hate it."

"I played around in the snow for a while and just because it was dark, I use to play in the road a lot because I knew that 'I wouldn't get hit' and that I'd know when a cars coming because they'd have their lights on." She softly said, "But the man who killed my mom, obviously didn't have his lights on. He was drunk and was speeding."

My eyes widened.

"I remember the exact time it took place, 8:30pm, I was too involved with playing in the snow that I didn't even pay attention to my surroundings. I just remembered hearing people screaming and seeing my mom run out from the house. I couldn't hear her calling my name out, it took several seconds before I noticed her... And all I did was smile at her. I remember it cleary... She ran out to me while I just smiled at her. She pushed me out of the way and before I could even get my mind straight, my mom was covered in blood. A car hit her. I started to cry and I tried to tell her that I was sorry but it was too late, she died instantly in front of my eyes. The man who hit mom, took off in his car. So I was left alone in the street, holding her in my arms."

I had no idea about this. She's been through way too much. First, this. Then, having a douche bag like me walk into her life and mess it up even more?

"Miyoung," I mumbled, "Why are you always in such a good mood then? If I were you, I'd probably be traumatized. You're such a strong girl."

"It's because I know mom wants me to be happy. She doesn't want me to be sad all of the time."

"Don't you ever cry?"

"I cry myself to sleep every now and then... But I know that crying won't make anything better..." She said, "Sometimes I feel like no one understands the pain and agony I went through. They'd always see me as the 'cheerful girl'--"

"Like they don't understand what events shaped you into being the person you are today?"

"Exactly."

"Well, it looks like we have more things in common that I expected." I rubbed my sweaty palms against my jeans, "Ever since my mom died, my dad remarried a rich woman and I inherited a lot of money from her family. Because I was literally living in hell at that time, I had no choice but to accept the money. Its not something that I initially would've usually done though. But I was expected to do it."

"People misjudged me as being a snobby rich boy," I said, "Just because I got use to the lifestyle of being spoiled. But they'd take it way too far by saying that I was always one and that my mom would be so ashamed if she saw who I was. I just wish that they'd understand the whole story--"

"Rather than being one sided?"

She gets me.

"Exactly... We're all the people we are today because of the events that happened to us in the past--"

"One thing leads to another..."

We both looked at each other and began laughing. This was one of our few deep conversations that we've had. Its nice to see this pure, understanding side of her. Its calming.

----- -----------

"Hey Miyoung," I mumbled.

"What's up?"

"We have a lot in common," I laughed, "You know what's strange?"

"Hm?"

"My mom also died on a--"

"Dark snowy night." She interrupted.

"How'd you know that?" I asked, confused.

"I--I don't know," She tightly held her held and rocked back and forth from where she sat, "My head hurts."

I looked at her with a confused expression.

Who told her this? (chapter 12~)

At that moment, the door to the closest door opened.

Time's up.

"Aw, did anything happen between you two?" Taeyeon excitingly asked.

Everyone crowed around us, interesting if anything happened to us.

Miyoung just sat still in shock. I stood up and looked down at her, confused.

"Miyoung-- Are you okay?" I asked.

She didn't budge.

Damnit.

"Wooyoung!" I called out to which he came running towards me, worried.

"I don't know what's wrong with Miyoung--"

"Aish, what'd you do?"

"I didn't do anything, I swear."

"Miyoung, Miyoung!" Wooyoung uncontrollably shook her but she was still in shock.

"Damnit," I mumbled under my heavy breath.

Everyone became concerned and tried to prevent her from getting any deeper in the trance. 

"Everyone, just go home," I finally said, "Just go."

"But what about Miyoung--" Wooyoung said.

"Just take her home." His eyes widened.

-----------------

Slowly everyone began to leave. 

After everyone left, I paced back and forth for awhile; thinking about how this was one of the weirdest birthdays I've ever had. I mean... Where's my birthday cake? I didn't even get any happy birthday song... Aish. But oh, what the heck. I finally had alone time with Miyoung, and that's the best birthday present I could have.

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop myself from worrying about her. Its like she's slowly gaining her memory back.

I didn't want to think about it too much, so I flopped onto my bed and tried to sleep it all off. But when my back pressed against the bed, something poked mY back. My arm pulled the object out from underneath my back and it ended up being Wooyoung's present for me. Ah, that's right. He gave me a present earlier today.

I unraveled the the gift wrapping paper and once everything was torn off, a box remained. Slowly, I began to open the box. When I saw the gift that layed within it, my eyes would only widen.

It was a picture of Miyoung.

It was taken about a year ago; Miyoung wore her glasses and she was giving a wide and bright smile.

Behind the photo, a pen wrote: "Since you lost your chance of you two ever being together, I'm going to ask her out. All you want is for Miyoung to be happy, right? Well if that's the case, then you can't do anything to prevent us from being together. Happy Birthday."

------

I placed the photo back down into the box and stared at the ceiling for a while. 

What a birthday.