Part 3

Donghae

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"Happy new year!" Everyone yelled.

Fireworks came sky rocketing from out of nowhere, the crowds of people who gathered in front of the giant clock slowly began to scatter; some stayed and admired the fireworks, while the others went with their friends to go partying.

I stood in place for a while and just looked up at the fireworks. 

"Hyung."

"Oh-- Yo, Sungmin~"

"We're all going to go the karaoke bar." He smiled, "Are you coming or what ?"

"Yeah--yeah. I'm coming." I looked once more at the sky and whispered to myself "Please find the missing pieces."

"Yah, hyung, c'mon, the group is waiting~"

"Oh-- okay!" My feet took a couple of steps back and began to follow the group, consisting of Sungmin, Jaejoong, Taeyeon, Leeteuk, BoA, Sooyoung, Seohyun, Kyuhyun, Yuri, Jessica, and Nicole.

All of Miyoung's friends came... But why didn't she?

-----

"I want it that way~" Jessica sang drunkily, Yuri stole the mike from out of her hand and finished with, "Cause I ... Want it thaaaaa~~t way~~~~" 

What a way to ruin a Backstreet boys hit. Aigo...

Everyone chuckled at Sooyoung when she did her funny voice imitations just to entertain us all and Sungmin, Kyuhyun, and Leeteuk took the mike this time and sang H.O.T's "Happiness." 

Everyone in the karaoke room seemed to be having fun. They were all smiling, laughing, some were even getting drunk. As for me, I sat in the corner of the velvet colored chairs, watching everyone have a good time. I couldn't help but think about what happened on the morning of Christmas day.

"Yah, Donghae!" Taeyeon yelled out from where she was sitting, which was all the way across the room, "What are you doing sitting in the corner by yourself?!"

"I don't--"

"You should sing!"

"Yah?~ I-- I don't sing!"

"You heard all of us sing already," Seohyun giggled, "It's not fair~"

"Anio~~~ I don't sing~~"

Slowly, everyone began to chant my name in a 'motivating voice,'  "Donghae Donghae Donghae Donghae!!" 

Their voices gradually got louder... And louder... Loud to the point where I just had  to give in. When I finally stood up and grabbed the microphone, they all cheered.

Being the nice guy, like I am, I let Jaejoong choose my song because he's the only one who knows my taste in music. Or so I thought.

"I'm going to choose 'Forever' by Chris Brown.'

"No!"

"Why?~~"

"Choose another one!"

"Oh-- I'm going to choose an H.O.T song then--"

"Anio~~ Choose another one!"

"Aigoo... How about this one?" He asked, pointing at the screen.

I shook my head and sighed, "Aish... I can't sing that! It's too high!"

"How bout this one--?"

"No! It's too low!"

Our bickering over what song I should sing continued for the next couple of minutes. The whole room was full of whining and complaining. Jaejoong and I were still fussing over the song, Taeyeon and the other girls were whining because "I sound annoying and I'm making their ears hurt," and Sungmin just laughed at us all. At this point, they just clicked on a random English song, when I wasn't even paying attention because they were fed up with me and my whining.

-Music starts to play-

Both, Jaejoong and I, froze from what we were doing and stared at the karaoke screen.

"Hey, this song is nice..." Jaejoong laughed, "Do you know this song?"

"Yeah..." I smiled.

My everything. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngjndWkrGh8

It reminds me of Miyoung. 

I held the mike in my right hand and opened my mouth to sing. Every word I sang, reminded me of the past. How Miyoung and I met and the things we've been through throughout knowing her; the memories we've made in 2 years. Now that I think of it, I've known her for exactly 3 years now. It's sad to think that after all these years, so many things have changed since then. It makes me fustrated. 

" ♪ The loneliness of nights alone. The search for strength to carry on~ My every hope has seemed to die ~"

That Christmas day was one of the worst Christmas' I've ever had. You have no idea how much tears I cried that day. 

"My eyes has no more tears to cry
Then like the sun shining up above
You surrounded me with your endless love
Coz all the things I couldn't see
Are now so clear to me ~"

My dad hates me. My brother's beginning to hate me as well. 

"You are my everything
Nothing your love wont bring
My life is yours alone
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through
When nothing else will do
Every night I pray
On bended knees
That you will always
Be my everything"

You're the only person who I can rely on.

"You're the breath of life in me
The only one that sets me free
And you have made my soul complete
For all time --"

In the middle of me singing, I could hear the door creek open behind me. Not bothering to turn around, I kept singing and remained in place. I kept the same emotion I felt when I sang. I never thought that in a million years, I'd finally be able to express my pain, my agony... Through singing.

I glanced to my right, Sungmin looked like he was laughing.

Why is he laughing?

Sitting next to him, Jaejoong had the same expression Sungmin had, a humorous face. But this time, he nodded to his right, as if he was signaling me to look to his right.

I looked at him in a confusingly and continued singing again. Jaejoong just wouldn't quit bothering me, he kept telling me to look to his left and when I did, Taeyeon and the other girls were also smiling at me as if something was up. 

I finally stopped singing in the middle of the song and said, "Yah, what's the big deal?" 

They all bursted out in laughter and continued to act suspicious.

"Yah! What's going on?"

"Turn around~" Jaejoong whispered.

When I did, my eyes went from ' -_-' to 'O_O.'

Miyoung was comfortably sitting on the sofa behind me. 

My eyes widened.

She waved at me but I quickly turned around and pretended I didn't just see her.

Did--did she hear me sing?

"Donghae! What's up with you?" She chuckled.

"Yah--When did you get here?" I shyly asked, still turned around.

"I got here a while ago," She smiled, "Oh, I have to tell you something."

"What--what's up?"

"Nice voice," She complimented, patting my back from behind.

"Oh... Uh, thanks~" 

"Haha, anyways, that's not what I wanted to tell you," She whispered in my ear, "Can we take a walk?"

A walk?

"Unnie ~ Would you mind if I stole Donghae from you guys for a second?" She asked Taeyeon.

"Go right ahead, his voice is really annoying me," She giggled. 

Before exiting the karaoke bar, Taeyeon fringed her nose and stuck her tongue out at me. Aigo...

----------

I was surprised to see that the fireworks were still being shot up at the sky. It's been already an hour and a half since the clock hit 12. These people are nuts. 

We walked around in the streets for a while in complete silence. This is so awkward...

"Yah!" She slapped me on the back.

"Ouch~ What was that for?!"

"You're such a douche bag."

"What did I do now?"

"Now?" She paused and halted from walking, "You've never done anything bad before. . .What do you mean?"

"N--nothing. Nevermind." I shrugged my shoulders and continued walking forward.

"Yah~" She whined, running up to me, "Why weren't you there on Christmas?"

"I--I was there."

"No you weren't~"

"I was."

"Stop lying.."

"Why does it matter?"

"You know..." She mumbled, "It really got me sad when you didn't show up."

You looked happy with Wooyoung though ...

"Yeah."

"Yeah...? Is that all you're going to say?"

"Pretty much."

"Why are you being like this...?"

Because I don't know what to say... Or what to do... I'm so torn apart that I'm trying my best not show you how I really feel.

"Because of our past." I quickly covered my mouth my hand.

Did I just say that?

"Our past?"

"--I-- I can't stop thinking about our horrible past--"

"I--I don't understand-- I thought you said we had a good past..."

"I wish I could tell you." I put my hand against my chest and tightly clenched it.

"Tell me."

"I--I can't."

"Why--?"

"I might hurt you."

"You won't hurt me.."

"When the right time comes--"

"No-- it has to be now."

"Listen Miyoung, there's a time and place for everything." I looked at the sky and tears began to form in my eye, "Today's not the right day."

"But I want to know now."

"I want to tell you-- But for now, just enjoy being happy."

"Happy? What--do you mean?"

"As for Wooyoung... Continue loving him, he... Deserves to have your love."

"I'm confused... Donghae--"

"And stop calling me Donghae."

"Dongh--"

"Call me oppa again..." I turned away from her and wiped the tears away with my hands. 

"I don't understand..." She mumbled, "You're hiding something from me."

I turned back around to her, with swollen eyes, and softly rubbed her head, "When the time is right, you'll realize what I'm talking about." I pressed my heels against the concrete floor and began to walk away. After standing still for a while, in the cold, she followed me from behind.

The walk back to the karaoke bar was silent and an awkward silence hushed us from speaking. 

She didn't bother to participate in singing, but just sat by herself looking lost.

It's all my fault again.. Me and my big mouth. Damnit.

----

What a way to start a new year off.