Donghae’s POV

“I’m going to confess.”

Silence.

“What?  You’re not even rooting for me?” I asked hopefully at the three pairs of eyes who had already lost interest in me.

“I just told you I’m confessing and you just ignore me?” I frowned before taking a seat between Henry and Sungmin, while they played scrabble on Kyu’s house.

You might be wondering why Siwon was suddenly replaced by Sungmin in our group…

Well, here’s the thing.  Ever since these three found out that they have something in common, they randomly jumped from being acquaintances to close gossip buddies.  And did I mention that their common interest was meddling with my love affairs?  No.  Oh well.

“We’ve been telling you that for days.  Even Jessica’s grown tired of you.” Henry says without looking up from the board game.  Oh yeah, how can I forget Jessica?  She’s also an active member of ‘let’s meddle into Donghae’s life’ club. 

I wasn’t surprised.  Maybe after weeks of fruitless labor, they’ve really decided to give up on me.

“But I really am going to confess now.”

“You also said that last week… AHA!” Sungmin jumped for joy after laying down the word ‘pink’ on the scrabble board.  Kyuhyun scoffed at this before connecting the word ‘pruriences’

“What the hell does that even mean?!” Sungmin screeched at the highfaluting word.

I quickly tuned them out before I get in between another endless banter between these two.

What the hell is pruriences, anyway?

So anyway, it was true that I’ve been telling them the same thing for days.  And it was also true that I have never gone close to fulfilling it.

Technically, ever since the phone call from Eunhyuk, I’ve been going high and low in search of what to do and how to deal with my raging emotions.  Yep, they were just THAT strong, they’re “raging”.

I have always dismissed the thought of confessing before, but now it seemed to be the only option.  If I don’t tell him, I’ll probably end up being in this confusing and awkward state forever.  How was I possible to keep my feelings for him just for the sake of friendship if he, himself, unconsciously pushes me off the edge?  I just can’t help it anymore.

But if I do tell him…

There’s a 50-50 chance on this.  It’s either we get together…or he avoids me and I die alone.

I think I shouldn’t.

And there goes another wasted set of brain cells.

“Wouldn’t Siwon be suspicious of this set-up?  We’re basically leaving him out of everything” I said, just to divert my thoughts away.  It was no time to be pessimistic.

“We’re not leaving him out of this.  it’s not our fault he’s clueless and you just won’t tell him.” Henry replies again, not noticing how his last words stabbed right through me.

“Then maybe I should tell him…you know, before I confess…?” I gritted my teeth when Kyuhyun let out a sarcastic laugh, “Yeah, hyung.  As if you could do that.  You’re just using him as an excuse to not confess.”

“O-of course not!  And Yes I can do it.” I failed miserably at acting strong and convincing.

Ding Dong~

“Perfect.  You can tell him now.” Kyuhyun stood up to open the door and in came Siwon.

Who called him here?!

I felt a surge of panic run through me as I stared at Sungmin’s indifference.  Does he not even know or care that ‘Shisus’ was behind him?!

“Ah, Sungmin-ssi.  I didn’t know you’d be here today.” Siwon greeted with a smile and I could already tell that my concept of reality was now in a blur.  Did he just talk casually with Sungmin?

“I brought cake with me.  It’s from my aunt.” Sungmin nodded casually and went back on the game.  Kyuhyun and Henry were also just as concentrated as he was while Siwon prepared the cake.

Basically, everything was just normal…perhaps too normal!

“Are you ok?  You look pale.” Siwon asked while handing a slice to me.

No I’m not ok!  How come you’re acting like old friends with Sungmin when you clearly know he’s Eunhyuk’s best friend?!

I faked a smile, “Yeah.  I’m fine.”

“By the way, Donghae-hyung told me he has something to tell you.” Kyuhyun’s evil smirk had finally appeared again.  If looks can kill, he’d be a double-dead lump of meat by now.

“Really?  What is it, fishy?” Siwon turned to me in curiosity and I could feel my heart beating rapidly from nervousness.

“Oh you’re going to love this.” I heard Sungmin mutter from his game.  I wasn’t sure to whom it was directed to, but I didn’t want to concern myself with that yet.

“I…uhh…”

“Well?” his ‘shibrows’ were now raised at its highest.

“Uhm…”

“…?” he nodded, urging me to go on, but my brain was in total haywire

“…Uhhh….”

“Aish!  It’s about his undying love for Eunhyuk-ssi.” Kyuhyun finally shouted out of frustration at my stupid rambling.

As much as I wanted to scream for joy at the huge weight that has been lifted off my chest, I also wanted to just rot in a corner and die from what is to come.  I refused to look at Siwon and closed my eyes instead.

He’s going to hate me…

He’s going to hate me…

He’s going to hate me…

He’s going to—

“Oh I see…” I quickly opened my eyes and found Siwon digging in to his cake, as if he just hadn’t found out his friend was in love with the person he hated the most.

“Y-you’re not…you’re not ignoring me now, right?” I gasped.

“Why would I do that?”

What?!

I stared in confusion while he smiled cheekily, accompanied by the other three, laughing silently at me.

AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE?!

“Wha…?!  What the…?!” I couldn’t even bring myself to say anything that made sense…well, because nothing DID make sense!  This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting!  Why is Siwon taking this matter too offhandedly?  And why were those three giggling like idiots behind him?  Why am I rambling?!  WHY?!!

@#$%^&*…

“Why are you acting surprised?” Siwon pointed out.

“Why are YOU acting like there’s nothing wrong?!” I shouted back at him.

He leaned back on the chair, still not wiping away the amused smile from his face.  The other three had also left their game and turned their attention towards me…well, aside from Henry who was busy switching his letter tiles with Kyuhyun’s and Sungmin’s. Cheater.

“Because nothing IS wrong.  Well, of course other than the fact that you’re both males and this is totally against what I believe in…but it’s love…and you know…” He drabbled on, feeling awkward about talking about ‘love’.  “ANYWAY, shouldn’t you be happy that I’m taking this lightly?” Siwon asked me in disbelief.  Actually, I should be happy…but this situation was way beyond strange for my comprehension.

“Y-you mean you’re completely fine with it?” I stated in bewilderment.  This was all too…bizarre.

“Of course not.” He frowned.

“THEN WHY?!” I was now screaming madly in frustration, but Siwon just started laughing.

“Why do you keep on laughing?!  I’m dying here!”

Since when did I have the jolly old Santa as my friend!?

Finally, the laughing Shisus had brought himself to calm down.

“I’m not ‘completely’ fine with it.  In fact, I despise the idea.” He sighed. “I mean…we’re talking about you and that ‘blondie’, right?” He spat out his nickname for Eunhyuk as if it was bitter medicine.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled, not knowing how to explain the situation.  I bet he would flip if he finds out that I had been hanging out with the ‘blondie’ for months behind his back.

“Nah. There’s nothing we could do about it.” He sighed before poking at his cake while staring off into space.  “But why does it have to be that stupid cousin of mine?!”

“I don’t kno…….Wait.  Cousin?!”  The three giggling kids behind him started bursting out in laughter.

“You’re really clueless about everything.” Kyuhyun held his stomach in an effort to contain his laughter.

I was totally lost in the conversation.  Since when we’re Siwon and Eunhyuk related?!

Since birth, duh.

“How come you never mentioned this to me before?  How come NO ONE mentioned this to me before?!” I casted an accusing glare at them.

“You never asked.” Kyuhyun replied bluntly after calming down.  Fine.

I focused my glare back on Siwon. “Then why do you hate him so much?!”

“I don’t hate him!” He shook his head and lifted his arms defensively, but I remained suspicious.

“Ok, fine.  I don’t like the guy.  He’s always been the loveable kid in our family.  He even gets the biggest gift EVERY Christmas!  When I get a toy dog, he gets a REAL dog.  How unfair is that?!” He bellowed.

“You mean you don’t like him because everyone loves him?” I raised my eyebrows.  This was childish.

“AND he’s also a big pain in the head for violating several school rules…”  I shook my head in disbelief.

“He also stole my first girlfriend before.” We both frowned. “…I brought her home, and his family came over to visit.  Next thing I know, I was dumped and she became the president of his fan club!  AND I REALLY LIKED HER, DONGHAE!”

“Oh…” I nodded while he continued mumbling curses at the guy.  Well, maybe he DID have at least one good reason.

“And now he’s even stealing YOU away from me!” He sulked, but I knew he wasn’t being very serious.

Wait.  Maybe he is.

He then leaned in to envelope me into one of his manly-hugs while I slowly brought myself to hug him back.

“I get it, Fishy.  You like him.  But this doesn’t mean I approve of that ‘blondie’.”

“Thanks anyway.” I chuckled.  There really was no changing Siwon.

Chapter 19 =_=