Donghae’s POV

“I like you.”

He stared back at me in astonishment.  Surprisingly, I remained calm throughout my sudden confession. I think it was because I was still mad at him for being an earlier.

I watched as he slowly grasped what I just threw at him.  After finally understanding that I had just confessed to him, he suddenly glared back at me.

“Why are you telling me this now?”

Huh?!

“What kind of question is that?” I screamed in incredulity.

Well, I know it wasn’t exactly an ideal situation for a confession. Putting myself on his shoes, my confession certainly came out of the blue.  But why would he ask me that?!

“Why are you telling me this now?” he repeated, but now it was accompanied by an even deadlier glare.  Maybe I should really answer him now.

“Uhm…I don’t know.  Maybe because I’ve grown tired of keeping it from you?  Maybe I just wanted you to know?  Or maybe I just don’t want you to be taken away by someone else?” I tried to do my best sarcasm there, but the surge of emotions prevented me from doing so.

“It’s not funny, Donghae.” He frowned.

“Of course it’s not funny.  You think I wanted this?” I laughed disdainfully.  I could already feel the tears threatening to fall from my eyes.  I knew confessing would be difficult.  If Jessica were here, I would’ve laughed at her and said ‘I told you so’.

But she wasn’t.

And instead, I was here, in front of Eunhyuk, facing one of my biggest fears.

“Liar.”

Huh?

I looked at him in wonder.  Did I really hear him call me a liar?

He could call me gay, and I wouldn’t have said a thing.  But why liar?

Why the hell would I even lie about this?!

“I don’t have time for this.  Get out.”

I didn’t even find the strength to reject him when he pushed me out of his room.

I was too stunned at how everything turned out.

It hurts.

It hurts too much.

It wasn’t because he rejected me.  I expected it.  I’ve always known my chances we’re slim to nothing.

I could endure a thousand rejections if that’s what he wanted.

But no.

The thing that hurts the most was the fact that he didn’t even believe me.

..--..--..

“Fishy.”

I looked up and saw Siwon’s worried face.  “Eat up.  You’re starving yourself.”

“Uhn.” I didn’t even bother faking a smile.  I ate robotically, staring back into space.

Ever since the horrible confession, I had remained almost emotionless for the past few days.

I still hang out with my friends, eating together during lunch, and visiting their houses during weekends.  But other than that, I was a hollow person.

I don’t regret confessing to him.  This was bound to happen.  Or at least, that was what I made myself believe.  Anyway, there was nothing else I can do about it, but accept.

I wasn’t totally pessimistic about the matter.  In fact, I looked at the bright side often.

At least it was done.  I didn’t have to worry about it anymore.

No more worrying about whether I was too obvious with my feelings.

No more concealing embarrassing blushes.

No more rapid heart beating.

No more unnecessary jealousy.

In fact, I should be rejoicing at getting my old life back!

I should be barfing rainbows!  Riding unicorns!  Discovering Atlantis!

But no.

Rather than going out and singing Hakuna Matata, here I was, wasting away in my sorrows…

“I should do something.” I stated out of nowhere.

I faced the startled expressions of my friends and flashed a small smile.

“Maybe I should enter a club?”

“That’s a good idea.  It could keep you busy.” Siwon nodded before suddenly frowning. “But club registrations we’re done months ago.”

“Oh…” I said disappointedly. “I should think of something else then.”

Siwon knew exactly why I wanted to be very distracted.  He must’ve felt the same way when his first girlfriend dumped him years ago.  It wasn’t the same situation, but it probably hurt just as much.

He smiled at me before giving a reassuring pat on my shoulder.

“Don’t worry.  I’m sure you’ll meet someone better.”

As if on cue, a particular blonde had entered the cafeteria, along with a sudden light bulb on my head.

And no, it wasn’t Eunhyuk.

“Jessica!”

I waved frantically for the blonde to finally notice me.  As soon as I was in her view, she grinned widely and approached our table.

Needless to say, my friends we’re all confused as to what I was doing.  Who wouldn’t be?

Just a while ago I was a huge lump of mess, and now, I was suddenly a bright ball of sunshine.

“Hi everyone.” She beamed at the startled friends of mine before turning back to me.

“Why did you call for me, oppa?  Did you suddenly realize that you love me more than the other blondie?”

I heard Siwon choke on his food but decided to dismiss it.  “Err…let’s not talk here.”  I suggested before pulling her out of the cafeteria.

..--..--..

After handing Jessica a sandwich that she ate happily, I finally took the seat beside her while we lounged at the school park.  I didn’t want her to starve when it was my fault why she skipped having her lunch.

“So oppa…what do you want to talk to me about?” she asked curiously while nibbling on her food.

She was really cute.  Anyone can see that.

I even remember the first time I met her back in middle school.  She still hadn’t dyed her hair then, and used to keep her long dark locks into two pig-tails.  She looked childish, but was still undeniably beautiful.

I admit, even I used to have a little crush on her, but it wasn’t that relevant for me to consider dating her.

She was more of a friend.

“Henry told me what happened.” She spoke softly.  I almost strained my ear just to catch what she said, and regretted it once I understood.

“Yeah.  It didn’t turn out well.” I smiled bitterly.  She gave me an apologetic look before placing her hand over mine. This wasn’t how I planned our conversation to be so I quickly forced a grin before shrugging off the depressing atmosphere.

“Forget about that.  Let’s talk about something else.” I started.

“Something like what?” her bubbly character was back as she beamed happily at me.

“Something like starting a relationship.”

Her face scrunched up in confusion.  “What are you talking about?”

“You like me, right?”

“Of course I do!  I like you very much!  You’re my number one!” She stated proudly.

“Then would you like to go out with me?”

Chapter 21 =_=